sarah's Arty Dreams

Hey world,
I have been so busy lately.....I am sitting here, it is 5:16 in the morning and I am thinking about picking up a crochet project and finishing it. So exciting yey. Ugh. I was happy until I went around to blogs. Just a few blogs have gotten me down a bit. I keep hearing bad news from my friends. But there is so much good news going on in my life that I hate to bring it up.....it is hard to announce happy things when there is so much negativity going on. I feel alone among friends. It has always been that way for me it seems, I walk in smiling in the morning at a job...and everyone around me is looking like death warmed over. By the end of the day, and being around the negative people, I also feel like death warmed over. The energy transfers. It affects others....unless they are also negative....and then... misery LOVES company.

Actually I am sick of feeling like I have to be the positive one. It is enough that I have my kids to deal with and make happy each day. Over the holiday, these girls have ripped the house to shreds and not one of my family has stepped in and offered to take them anywhere or do anything with them. MY HOUSE is the gathering place. Ok, this is not a bad thing, unless you hate cleaning up after 4 girls and making sure everything is presentable for anyone who drops by. Cleaning up after my 4 plus the one that we have 'adopted'. She might not sleep here, but she SURE does live here. I am not complaining about her at all. Many times I have actually thought about being a foster parent. I really am a nut, huh? I am one of those people that has 0 money to take care of another child, yet, I would take them in if they needed a home. We could live in a big crappy house and wear second hand clothes, I wouldn't care, as long as they had a family. This child that we have 'adopted' has neither a mom or dad that takes care of her...it's her aunt. An aunt with NO kids. Think about it. (Let's hope she never reads this)

I am drinking coffee...it's so good this morning for some reason. Speaking of good in the morning, I made oatmeal muffins for the girls yesterday with a topping to die for. They LOVED it! I was sort of proud of myself.

Some other news, remember the cousin that passed away? Gabriel who was only 32? Well, out of his passing, I have been reunited with not only my aunt, but now some cousins. They are BEAUTIFUL and I can't wait to meet up with them again. I remember them as children, but they are 10 and 9 years younger than me, so they don't remember me. I named one of my kids after one of them, they just don't know it yet. I have always loved that name...... But anyway, it is good to know your cousins, and your family...to see your self in all of them and their children. There is nothing more satisfying than to look at another person, and see your own eyes. You almost feel as if part of you will always live on in the younger generations. Family is a line...whether it is a broken line or a strong straight one is up to genetics and circumstance. It is a never ending line of genes...that continues through each new child that is born. Just when you think you never thought your would see your father's eyes again...a child is born in the family bearing his eyes. Or the older you get the more you see your parents in yourself....

In January I am going back to school. The instructor herself requested that I get right back in, that I need to be making lots of money doing what I do. I won't even mention what it is...because I don't feel it is a glamorous job, just something that I am really talented in and actually like to do. So I will be working to advance in the industry and hopefully be an instructor or own my own business one day, doing what I love. I think I will shut up now. God bless you guys and gals. Keep the faith, remain positive and opportunity might just come to YOU!!

Sarah