armchaircritic

Apparently, Sheryl Crow wants the world to stop using so much toilet paper.

To help global warming no less. How is it that using so much or so little toilet paper is going to affect global warming? Certain things I am willing to do to help the planet in some small way, like not leaving the tap running when brushing my teeth etc. Recycling. Turning off lights.

But toilet paper? Now pardon me, but you just have to use as much as you need. You can't be economical with toilet paper, it's like saying nobody should take a hot shower anymore.

She says "..Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating..."

Quickly moving on, Eddie Izzard once did this gig where a recurring theme was him pointing to his head and saying 'In my mind' Looking a bit deranged in the process. It's goes something like this:

"..So, I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini (points to his head) In my mind...No, I threw the breasts out of the window of my Ford Fiesta, (points to his head again) In my mind. Actually, I threw them out, over the handlebars of my bicycle, (points to his head and mouths the words) in my mind. And they hit a small child who ran..."

Sheryl, trying throwing your breasts out of the window. Better still don't drive. Seems to work for Eddie.