Monday, March 5, 2012 12:23:21 PM
I don't know
Why am I falling again?
It's so empty
I can't hear my heart's voice
I lose my inspiration
How scary
What can I do with a withered mind?
I can't draw now
It's so terrible
It means I can't free myself
When did I close my heart?
I don't know
I just know
I'm bored with everything
I hate everyone
I don't like to see others happiness
I refuse all of you
All help from anyone
Don't pity me
I'm stuck
There are many reasons
Mainly I don't let my mind free
I hate the cramped
But where am I now?
A confined space
My soul is squeezing to death
Up and down
Down then up
Like a small floating boat among the fierce ocean
I can't help myself
So nobody can help me
Keep running away
To wherever I can find the peace of mind
No matter how long it takes
I need to find my inspiration again
I'm useless without it
I will be depressed soon
As long as I feel tired and insipid
Is it ok
If I give up?
I can't give up
I know
Some people will bear its consequence
I don't wanna become the cause of their suffering
Enduring their grogginess makes me sick
If they cry
Am I a sinner?
No, I don't want
It's a closed cycle
Repeating twice a year
At anytime
Without warning
Breaking whole obstructions
Not overlook any corner
As a bloodthirsty wild beast
Scoured prey
Without hesitating
By an uncompromising bite
Strong smelling of blood up in the air
And the darkness covers....
Saturday, February 18, 2012 5:14:59 PM
Whenever you turn around.
There always has an invisible wall between us.
You can't step into my heart.
I also can't understand your sentiment.
.....
The wall is very firm.
It separates me and you.
Dividing our world into two pieces.
Your piece is so fantastic.
I'm always envy you.
In your world.
You almost forget my existence.
You have new friends.
They make you happy.
While I usually disturb you with my laments.
You know what you need.
I know what you want.
So I can't be besides you anymore.
We can't bring happiness to each other.
We don't understand each other in a long time.
I wonder.
When did we become two strangers?
.....
I feel sad.
I can't imagine that I lost you.
Your heart no longer belongs to me.
I desire to possess you.
Intense as fish needs water.
I never say sorry.
If loving you is my awful punishment.
Let me devour it with hatred heart.
I want you to immerse me.
In your poisonous love.
Imprison my soul.
At the place where the world ends.
Don't let me out.
Or you will lose everything.
The whole world inside me.
It resembles an immense ocean.
Sometimes it's so peaceful.
That's why you could overcome easily.
Your footprint is still left on the sand.
You brought to me many sweet memories.
I was truly happy.
When the fierce waves appear on the ocean.
The only gate was blocked.
I'm sorry.
I had to break our relationship.
It's too risky for you to overcome again.
I don't allow myself to hurt you.
The feeling of tormented will cling me forever.
If it happens.
.....
You're a nice person.
A good friend.
I don't wanna hurt someone like you.
You deserve to get something better.
But I can't become the person make you happy.
If you still remember.
The first time we have met.
It was gloomy, wasn't it?
I should confess 1 truth.
You were very lucky.
I didn't know why only you could approach me.
Without getting any harsh words.
I remember it was a dark time.
May it was my fault.
Anyway you were sucessful.
And become one of very few people can help me calm.
When I met you.
An strange feeling was overflowing inside my heart.
I felt as if my hope was brimful again.
Like never happen any trouble.
I loved talking to you.
It was funny and interesting.
Because I never know what you would say next.
Sometimes you made me puzzled with bold words.
I always wondered it was the truth or just a white lie.
But even you lie.
I couldn't hate you.
Don't worry, I knew when you lie.
At that time you was same as my lifesaver.
I don't know what you will feel.
If you have chance to read these words.
I think I don't let it occurs.
Everybody needs a secret place.
To express all their inner sentiment.
So do I.
.....
Time passes fast.
Everything is only unforgetable memories.
I miss you.
Miss everything about you.
I don't think my decision is wrong.
At least it prevents you from pain.
Maybe.
.....
Friday, January 6, 2012 6:42:16 PM
I know.
I was wrong.
It's so stupid to make friends with strangers.
They're nothing but trouble.
And regret.
.....
I wonder.
Whom can I trust?
.....
Today.
I disposed some friends out of my life.
Don't ask my the reason.
I hate them.
I'm angry with them.
The price at beginning, I realize their real face.
Maybe I don't feel bad like now.
Pah... Life is a game.
And I'm playing with it.
An eternal game?
It may never end if I'm still alive.
.....
Don't worry.
I don't intend to end my life.
So I decide.
It's better not to trust anyone.
Except people whom I'm sure they're truly good.
No end of fraud.
All dignity are rotten.
I wonder.
What will wait us at the end of the tunnel?
.....
I don't wanna give a second-chance for betrayer.
How ridiculous!
No reason to forgive them.
And no reason to meet them again.
But why is my heart so hurt?
.....
When I see my old friends have new friends.
Something flares up inside me.
It burns my eyes.
It destroys my calm.
I think.
It called 'possession'.
Although I'm familiar with it.
Sometimes it still annoys me.
And in that time.
I'm like a beast outf control.
So pity for anyone who is in my view.
.....
I'm just kidding.
I never let the worst thing happen.
Because it charges health.
To keep hook bad friends.
.....
A friend.
Before he left.
He sent me a message.
It's written:
He hoped me will find another good friend.
And there are many friends is waiting for me.
He said he's sorry.
At the end of this message.
He wanted me not be angry with him.
What do you think?
It's unfair.
Why don't I get angry?
.....
Friday, December 23, 2011 5:47:30 PM
I'm very scared.
I can't imagine what will happens.
I fear the cruel fact.
How much time do I left?
.....
I can't tell the truth.
Because if I say it.
I will be subject to the severe punishment.
That's why I'm trying to hide it.
There's no way to delete it.
Soon or late.
Everybody will know.
And I will die because of embarrassment.
.....
No matter how it's cruel.
I know.
I must tell the truth.
But I still hesitate.
Once the truth comes out.
Everything will changed.
I hate that scene.
I fear that day.
The day marks my life is collapsed.
.....
No...please...
I don't want it comes.
I blame myself for making this bad fault.
No chances for me?
I swear.
I never let it happens again.
So I don't wanna be punished.
.....
Don't take away my peaceful time.
Don't torture me with the muttered words.
Don't throw my precious treasure away.
Don't destroy my life by violence.
Don't imprison my soul into an invisible cage.
Don't break my heart with ruthless.
Please...
.....
I'm scared.
I'm worried.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm dazed.
Totally, I'm no longer me now.
I'm nothing.
.....
An erroneous wish.
A weak light.
An overwhelming disappointment.
A persistent regret.
A vague hope.
An impossible promise.
My free days are very limited.
.....
Let's cout down....
Sunday, December 18, 2011 8:32:16 AM
Someone said:
"If you never taste the bitter of failure.
You never have the sweet fruit of succeed."
.
.
.
.
Is it true?
I hate today.
No choice.
Only one.
Why?
.....
Dreams are always dreams forever.
Even if it's the truth.
I still wanna it comes true.
The reality is so cruel.
I fear this time.
Thinking about what I have to face.
I wanna run away.
Run and run.....
Don't look back.
I'm scared.
Only me in my long life journey.
Losing my ways again.
Again and again....
I know I must stop.
This selfish dream should never exist.
But I can't ignore it.
It urges me.
Day by day, it growns.
Gradually it becomes one of my part.
It's my blood.
It's my spirit.
Advising me to give it up?
Then it's better to kill me.
Losing it makes my mind shatter.
.
.
.
.
Why?
Why can't I dream?........
Wednesday, December 14, 2011 5:50:29 PM
I'm so worried.
I nearly go crazy.
I can't sleep.
I don't wanna sit here.
And powerless see every troubles comes.
Bad bad bad bad.
.
.
.
vanish vanish vanish vanish.
.
.
.
despair despair despair despair.
.
.
.
crazy crazy crazy crazy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I lose control.......................
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 4:44:56 PM
It's weird!
Seems everybody know their duty.
They always have many works to do.
Not like me.
What the hell am I doing?
Just wander and wait?
What is the best thing I truly expect?
.....
Human is so difficult to understand.
For example:
I realize it's easy to make friends run away.
And it's so hard to find a real friend.
During 14 years in my life.
Friendship is just like soap bubbles.
Which can shatter whenever.
How pitiless.
But it's the truth.
I was betrayed many times.
My belief is crumbling.
Oh yeah...give my special thank to the people.
Who were my friends.
.....
Maybe I'm not a perfect friend.
I admit I'm still childish and a little selfish.
But I will adjust it.
And I'm always loyal to my friendship.
So you have no reason to treat me like that.
Don't use such that impolite words with me.
You never receive anything by hurting another person.
.....
If you intend to hurt me.
Think again.
.....
Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:06:17 AM
Well... I hate this time.
Why? - Because I'm going to have an exam.
During my study's life, I really hate it... And scared too.
My peaceful life is always decided by it... It means if the result is good, I will have the things I like.
But... If I fail, the murky days will haunt me... And it only ends when the next exam comes...
I think I must try as possible. Then I have no reason to regret.
Hum... Let's fighting!
Thursday, November 24, 2011 5:22:50 PM
I'm so stupid.
Why do I always face it?
I don't wanna lose friends.
Not with these people.
Unless I'm the person who break our friendship.
I never forgive anyone who hurt me by this way.
.....
I thought they were good person.
At least they were good.
Till today they make me upset too much.
Do they know how I feel when I hear the news?
I'm so sock.
I don't wanna believe in what I just hear.
I try to force myself to be calm.
I wonder.
How many friends will I lose?
It's hurt.
.....
And you.
It'd rather not to talk to your today.
I regret talking to you.
The more I know you.
The more I'm scared.
I doubt your faithfulness.
The way you talk reminds me of these people.
Cravens.
Betrayers.
Liars.
I truly expect you're good guy.
Not kind of person I scorn most.
.....
So sad.
I wish today passes quickly.
Let me forget everything.
I never forgive.
If you're the next person.
Who betray my faith.
.....
Tuesday, November 22, 2011 5:03:11 PM
Every words I say.
Always fades.
Like steam.
Without any clues.
As if it didn't exist.
I wonder.
Where can it go?
.....
Selfish.
Stubborn.
Clumsy.
Heartless.
Childish.
Bilious.
Random.
Credulous.
It's me.
.....
I know.
Almost my friends willing ignore me.
When I call them.
Even abandons me.
When I need them.
Is it called friendship?
So ridiculous.
Not equal trash.
.....
Let them go.
All of them.
Even my life becomes empty.
I don't need such pity friendships.
.....
After few months knows mutually.
Someone says to you.
'' I love you.''
Do you believe in those words?
To me.
It resembles an attractive trap.
.....
Suddenly you stumble.
Your life light vanishes.
You realize you stray.
Just like me now.
What do you expect from the darkness?
.....
Come here!
Sit down here.
Let me borrow you shoulder.
Then I will tell you a story.
Don't mind if I cry.
Because it's sad tears.
.....
Sunday, November 13, 2011 3:56:37 PM
Who care.
What am I thinking now?
Who pay attention.
Why am I sad?
Who know.
When do I cry?
.....
I know.
Only me can save myself.
Only me know the reason.
For those silent tears.
Only me know how to fill.
My empty heart.
Really?
Do I think I can do it?
Do I truly believe in myself?
The only answer.
No.
.....
Why?
.....
No reason?
I know the real reason.
.....
Heart:
Forgive me dear.
I'm bleeding.
I feel heavy.
I wonder.
Why do I exist in this life?
I trouble you so much.
Don't angry with me dear.
All I want.
Making you happy.
But why do I always let you cry?
My dear.
I love you.
More than myself.
It's brighter than any star.
And even purest.
You know.
You're my precious pearl.
You're the thing has meaning to me.
I wanna protect you.
Forever.
.....
Mind:
Oh sweet.
Your words is so touched.
I'm crying.
Sorry.
I don't intend to cry.
But why does tears keep dropping?
Not your fault.
I know.
Long time ago.
I know you love me.
Well...It's so embarrassing.
I love you too.
Don't blame yourself anymore.
Let you get hurt.
That's the worse sin of me.
The person.
Who need say sorry.
It's me.
I try to prevent you.
From hurting.
At last you get hurt.
By loving me.
Will you forgive me?
My sweet.
.....
Finally.
We can't find the suitable answer.
For our question.
About love.
It's still a mysterious thing.
We still wanna dissect it.
Wanna find where it's derived.
Then.
Where does love originate?
.....
Monday, November 7, 2011 6:54:39 AM
Tomorrow is an important day to me.
I never forget it.
Do you know why?
Because 17 years ago.
At 6 am.
It's the first time I saw the world.
Yup.
I was born.
In an autumn morning.
.....
How weird.
I was born in autumn.
But I prefer summer.
I don't like the cool winds.
And the red deciduous forests.
It's too sad.
I prefer the intense sunlight.
And the lively scene of life.
But deeply in my heart.
I'm definitely not a dynamic girl.
I'm like a fragile grass.
Which can uprooted whenever there has the strong winds.
This is me.
Not energetic like you always see.
I have a weak heart.
And a sensitive mind.
You will know.
If you pay attention to it.
.....
Well.
Anyway it's a memorable event.
A precious memory in my life.
I can't believe.
So fast.
I'm not a little girl any more.
I'm also not a mature woman.
What the name should I call myself now?
I don't know.
But I grow each day.
And try to perfect myself.
Trying to love more people.
Trying to be useful to life.
.....
For everybody who had or will have birthday.
Wishing every happy comes to you when you read it.
Friday, November 4, 2011 3:00:02 PM
I think.
Nothing can return to the starting point.
No sentiment can't be healed fully after being broken.
No one can replace you in my heart.
But why I have this feeling.
Although you came back.
I don't wanna talk to you as much as before.
As if something in my heart changed.
I can't explain it.
But I can feel it.
It have grown gradually day by day.
I can't stop it.
I'm sorry.
I think I was wrong.
I didn't love you.
As much as I imagined.
Until now it doesn't change.
I like you.
As a friend.
I liked you so much.
.....
I don't hope it happens.
When you live in this world.
You never know what will come to you.
That's why life has many surprising things.
I can't predict my future.
So I don't know when my emotion change.
It's complex.
It's erratic.
Even I can't understand myself.
May be today I think I don't love you.
But tomorrow I love you again.
We can't know it.
.....
Friday, November 4, 2011 12:15:30 PM
I wonder.
How can I know a man is interested in me or not?.....:-?
Thursday, November 3, 2011 5:14:49 AM
Sometimes I wonder.
If I'm more intelligent.
Will everything be better?
My dad won't upset me.
My family will be harmonious.
If I'm not lazy like now.
I won't be in much trouble.
I will have time to do what I like.
And I may be happier.
.....
The fact remains that the truth.
I can't change what happened.
Although I wanna turn back time.
I wanna everything returns the starting point.
I wish I can redress my mistake.
I don't suppose I won't make a mistake again.
But I think I will make the future becomes brighter.
That's all I want now.
.....
I regret what I did.
I regret wasting time.
I regret not trying as possible.
I truly feel regretful for everything.
I wanna apologize my dad.
For making him disappointed.
I don't hope everything happens like this way.
I know.
It's my fault.
But I can't redress it.
Cause I don't know where I have to start.
.....
It was latent many years ago.
I knew.
Clearly.
But I ignored it.
Cause I thought I could control it.
I didn't think about its consequence.
That why I'm regretting.
How silly I am.
I was subjective.
So I have to receive all consequence.
I didn't listen to my mom's advices.
So I make her sad now.
The atmosphere of my family goes from bad to worse.
That's all my fault.
I'm sorry.
I don't want it.
Never.
.....
Saturday, October 29, 2011 3:59:57 PM
i just intend to design blog. why does it become more terrible...!?=''=
Friday, October 28, 2011 7:11:11 AM
When I was young.
I always wondered.
How I can catch a dream.
And make it comes true.
Until now.
I still query.
I have many dreams.
Almost them are vague.
Some dreams are so illusory.
Just a few dreams may close to the fact.
In the end I can't realize my own dream.
.....
I'm straying.
I'm falling down.
I can feel it.
All my dream is vacant.
It can't help me to wake up.
I know it may be unbelievable.
But I wanna say.
I disorient in my own dreams.
It's the truth.
I lost my way.
I wander for a long time.
It's so ridiculous.
.....
Everybody always tells me.
You must follow your dream.
It will lead you.
But no one tells me.
How can I recognize it?
How can I ignore everything around?
No one says that.
It's not useful.
I don't know where I have to go.
It's too difficult to choose the future.
I know this is my life.
And this is my future.
I have the responsibility for it.
But the person decide it.
Not only me.
.....
I like dreams.
Almost them are very sweet and wonderful.
It brings to me hope.
Making me believe in life.
But it can't help me.
Choosing the future.
.....
Saturday, October 22, 2011 5:21:39 PM
I feel lonely.
I don't know why.
But I'm scared.
Why do all people I like disappear?
I wonder.
Where can they be?
Do they really remember me?
I don't wanna be forgotten.
I hate when they meet me.
They always ask.
Who are you?
Maybe they don't say clearly.
By the way they talk to me.
I'm sure they even don't care.
What I'm saying.
How cruel.
.....
I love them very much.
It seems they don't know.
I have no idea.
To express my feeling.
Cause it wastes time.
I need them now.
But I don't find anyone around.
As if they didn't exist.
What do I really want?
I don't know.
I fear the answer.
I know.
It'll hurt me.
For that reason I always shun.
I keep run away.
.....
I'm so lonely now.
I recognize 1 thing.
I miss chance.
To show love to you.
I wanna meet you again.
I miss you so much.
I wonder.
Where are you now?
Are you still alive?
Or you return to the holy land?
Don't tell me the truth.
I never wanna see you die.
I just wanna talk to you every time I'm sad.
Cause only you.
Only you can sympathize what I'm feeling.
Only you make me feel comfortable.
When I talk to you.
I'm myself.
I don't have to hide my sentiment.
Cause I believe you can understand me.
.....
I'm sad.
I can't meet you again.
I feel lonely.
Without you.
My life lack a pieces.
I don't know where I can find it.
But I never forget you.
At least I can say.
The last word to you.
I like you.
.....
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 3:55:43 PM
Floating.
Gazing.
Thinking.
Missing.
Crying.
Missing again.
.....
Losing you.
Losing myself.
Losing happy mood.
Losing hope.
.....
Hating everything.
.....
Tiring of life.
.....
Trying to escape from sadness.
.....
Oops.
Missing you again.
.....
Wondering.
Where are you?
What are you doing?
.....
Writing about you.
Making me sad more.
Imaging you're next to someone else.
Feeling miserable.
.....
Asking myself.
Why do I miss you so much?
As much as I wanna run to your side now.
hugging you tightly.
Never let you go again.
.....
Loving you.
So hurt.
So dangerous.
But also exciting.
.....
Sleeping.
Still dream of you.
Missing you now.
.....
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 5:45:53 AM
Tik...tok...
The hour moves steady.
.....
Tik...tok...
It's 12:00 now.
Is day or night?
I don't know.
I wish I never know.
I just wanna sleep.
.....
Tik...tok...
That insensitivity sound.
It's ticking.
Slowly.
My heart beats so fast.
Something is wrong here.
.....
Tik...tok...
Life doesn't stop.
It keeps going.
I have to catch it.
Wait for me.
.....
Tik...tok...
I'm so stupid.
Why do I trust a liar?
Hey...Stop it.
I'm getting mad.
.....
Tik...tok...
Your moron.
Why don't you stop ticking?
You annoy me.
I need to focus.
Get away with me.
.....
Tik...tok...
Stopping laughing.
I'm not a fool.
You trick me once time.
I will kick you out of my life.
Don't appear in front of me anymore.
.....
Tik...tok...
I'm at the end of my limitation.
Well...If you don't stop.
I swear I will smash you.
Vile clock.
Do you wanna end your miserable life?
.....
Tik...tok...
Tik...tok...
Tik.........
............
....tok.....
.
.
.
.
Bang........
.
.
.
.
It ends.
.....
Monday, October 10, 2011 2:59:26 PM
Although he say goodbye.
I still feel sad.
Cause he's not the only one say that.
He's the fourth.
Two of them don't say anything to me.
The other is the one I like most.
But I think he never comes back.
Now it's your turn.
You don't know how I feel about it.
I'm so shocked.
I'm dazed.
I can't believe that you do that.
This week.
I lose many things.
Many precious things.
Including you.
You never know that.
The feeling I feel now.
It's not simple.
I can't control it.
It is kept in prison for so long.
I have no reason to keep it more.
So I release it.
It's like a hungry beast.
It plunges into me with all feud.
It starts to devour me without hesitating.
I'm empty.
I'm floating.
I don't wanna open my eyes again.
Cause I have to witness much sorrow.
.....
Granted I'm weak girl.
I don't admit my feeling for them.
Maybe I don't care what happening to them now.
But there always has a thing.
I never let them alone.
I will be next to them.
When they truly need.
When they're sad.
Or have trouble.
I will help them as much as I can.
I never abandon them.
I fear.
Someday I can't meet all my friends again.
I know.
If it happens.
I will feel bad.
And I can't forget them.
It will torments my mind.
I don't wanna think about it now.
It's too enough.
I lose them.
No clear reason.
So sad.
I always be in trouble with my complex feeling.
I love everybody.
If they're good friends.
But I'm also interested in them.
That why I'm always feel suffocated.
No exit.
I wonder.
Why do I worry for everybody?
While almost them even know my name.
I'm such an excessive girl.
I'm always curious about everything.
I think.
It will kills me someday.
One way or another.
It's natural consequences.
.....
It's too late.
To say about thing happened.
Time can't go back again.
Past can't reverse.
I can't change the truth.
I'm lonely.
I lose my precious friends.
Everybody always advises me.
To forget sadness.
Cause life keeps going.
But I can't do it.
I can't forget it.
Simply.
I miss them very much.
I remember all what they said.
Why does it never fade?
Why does it always obsess me?
It follows me into all my dreams.
I feel miserable.
.....
Friday, October 7, 2011 3:54:26 PM
I know.
You may not read this message.
But I still wanna write it for you.
I don't know why.
Everything is like a fairy tale.
A story about a sad princess.
She's always lonely.
She can't talk to anyone.
So she have no friends.
But one day.
A magic comes to her.
A boy.
Who has a broken heart.
Step into her life.
He's the only one.
Who can make she smiles.
Who can share thought with her.
Who can bring happiness to her sad world.
Gradually he becomes an indispensable person.
To her.
She trust him.
With all her heart.
But nothing can last forever.
The little princess can't evade her destiny.
One day.
She's heard the worst news.
The boy can't be alive longer.
She's hurt.
But she can't do anything.
She just can stand here.
In her gloomy castle.
Looking at her important person.
Bearing pain everyday.
Do you know why?
Cause she can't touch him.
He's so far from her reach.
Although she try.
She never can come to his bright world.
She realize one thing.
She never escape from here.
The deepest abyss.
Without his appearance.
Without his attention.
She fall into darkness.
Sinking.
No exit.
No light.
She absolutely lose her way.
Now she's just like a soulless doll.
She even can't cry for him.
She don't wanna believe in fact.
It's too cruel.
.....
An sad end.
For our relationship.
I wonder.
Why can I meet you sooner?
I have more thing to tell you.
You make me feel confident.
No one can replace your position in my heart.
Don't worry.
I always pray for you.
I never forget you.
I can't forget what you have done for me.
It's sweet and warm.
Thanks for everything.
You're the most important friend of me.
You teach me how to believe in life.
You come to me timely.
I rely upon you so much.
That why when you leave.
I feel dazed.
And I can't accept it.
Until now.
I still sad.
And miss you so much.
.....
You say.
You don't wanna hurt me.
Then why at last.
You say you fall in love with me.
I can't believe in you.
The only thing I suppose it's just a lie.
I don't know.
How many time do you upset me?
I don't care.
It's not important now.
I can't meet you again.
I fear.
Someday I hear about your death.
I don't want it happens.
You say you can't be alive.
But I still force you promise.
Never give up.
No matter what happens.
I wonder.
If you can remember it.
You won't die.
If you die easily.
I swear I never forgive you.
.....
Now I sit here.
In my room.
Thinking of you.
I wonder.
Everything you say.
Is it true?
It's too equivocal for me to believe.
So I can't believe it until now.
I still wait for you.
How stupid.
I don't know what I expect from you.
I can't call the name of my sentiment for you.
Does it like the feeling between two close friends?
Or its more than it?
It's too hard to give answer.
I decide not to think about it anymore.
Till the day I can see you again.
I believe I will find out the answer for it.
.....
I'm too young to understand what love is.
I'm afraid of getting hurt.
So I never love anyone honestly.
I don't know what difference in our relationship.
The only thing I know.
You hurt me so much.
.....
Goodbye my sweet friend.
Monday, October 3, 2011 2:27:49 PM
At last the day ends.
Many things happen.
Almost it is bad.
I can't prevent it.
The life always move continuously.
It never stop.
If it happen.
The world will be destroyed.
.....
Nothing is here.
It's so dark.
I can't hear people's voice.
But I know they must be somewhere.
They just don't let me see them.
Why?
I wish I could know.
But it's not important anymore.
I can't change anything.
So no need to worry about what happened.
.....
How sad.
I try to avoid trouble.
But it seems I can't.
I always have trouble.
Why?
Maybe my destiny's so damn.
If there has no trouble around.
I don't wanna be rude.
but I don't wanna believe in god.
He never help me.
I don't say he ignore me.
Just can't hear my whistle.
.....
Life ends.
Where do we go?
Where am I belong to?
I don't know.
.....
Sunset falls now.
Suddenly I desire to sleep.
When I look outside.
I can see a bloody sky.
I feel stifling.
I wanna escape from my wilted soul.
I wanna fly to world.
With a free wings.
Like a small bird.
Flying to fantastic land.
No fear.
No sadness.
When I close my eyes.
I see you.
Not the man I know.
But I know it's you.
Cause I'm fell in love at the first time.
You're so seduced.
Your voice attract me.
Your body rise the evil beast inside me.
I wanna taste you.
I wanna have your heart.
You're so vague.
Cause when I open my eyes.
You're not here anymore.
Just like the last light of day.
It also sip off.
Like the way you fade.
I feel scared.
I'm sobbing.
But who care?
I'm making friend with loneliness.
......
Saturday, October 1, 2011 3:57:16 PM
Hum...I don't know what you're thinking.
But don't make me annoyed.
I hate when I feel confused.
I don't like the way you prove foolish.
You know.
When you do that.
I just feel ridiculous.
It's not good.
For you.
And me also.
.....
I don't wanna be stupid with you.
When you don't reply my message.
It always makes me feel restlessness.
You know why.
That because of you.
You make me ignorant.
You're selfish.
You only care about your benefits.
You never ask me.
About my feeling.
You're accidental.
You broke my heart into thousand pieces.
You play with my heart.
Like a trembling brat.
No way to escape.
From your cruel cage.
.....
I don't wanna be an idiot forever.
You know.
I hate the way my heart bitting.
When your eyes catches mine.
I hate the way I stammered.
When I stand front of you.
It's stupid.
I always feel shy.
Despite you look at me or not.
I hate the way you ignore my eyes.
It's impolite.
Although I try to take your attention.
It's useless.
You never look me like the way I want.
I'm tired of you insensitive face.
You know why.
Cause It makes me feel injury.
.....
Thinking.
You will realize what you really need.
You're just like a soulless puppet now.
No soul.
No love.
Why?
Why don't you believe in love?
You're afraid of being hurt.
But have you ever thought about my same feeling?
I always same you.
My heart is fragile.
It can be crushed anytime.
Do you know it?
Sadly you never recognize.
There is a pure girl.
Who love you with all her heart.
Forever.
Never change no matter what happens.
.....
Wednesday, September 28, 2011 2:40:00 PM
I have no mood to do anything now.
As if I lose something special.
Until I find out it.
I'm hurt.
No one can't help me.
I'm so sad.
I don't know.
Who can I believe?
Nothing is value.
It's useless when your heart broken.
You can't hear the sound of life.
You miss many surprising thing.
Nothing is special to me now.
When I lose the one I love.
I like a soulless doll.
No senses.
No tears.
No feeling.
.....
I'm scared.
Cause I'm lonely again.
After showy days with you.
Now I don't wanna be alone.
I fear darkness.
I'm afraid of myself.
It's too bad.
I hate you.
From beginning I know you're a liar.
But I'm so stupid.
When I let myself trust you.
You're a talkative man.
And you're so cruel.
You satisfy my feeling.
With lies.
You're the dregs of society.
You're more heartless than I think.
.....
I'm graceful to realizing your evil heart soon.
But I can't escape from hurting.
Well...I'm surprised at you.
You're the first man.
Making me confide.
Although you're identical with my first love.
Who betray me.
Whom I never forget.
But when you come.
I immediately forget him.
You seduce my mind.
And I'm in your hand.
.....
That's my mistaken.
I don't love you.
As much as I think.
You seem like one of my toys.
I wanna play with you more.
Sadly.
You run away all of sudden.
Although I know where you are.
I don't wanna you anymore.
You're useless now.
I'm disgusted with you say.
It's similar and affected.
.....
The last word.
I wanna say.
I wish I had never met you.
.....
Sunday, September 25, 2011 4:13:11 PM
I think.
Everything is simple.
But it's not true.
I can't understand you.
When I meet you.
You only say 1 thing.
You love me.
I can't believe you.
Cause you just say.
You don't have any act.
To express it.
How much do you love me?
.....
When I need you.
Where are you?
You never appear.
As if you didn't exist.
Do you know?
I miss you so much.
I want you.
To be by my side.
.....
The world without you.
It's gloomy.
I have to live with sorrow.
You don't know that.
Of course.
You lie to me.
Everything every time.
For you.
I'm valueless.
How pity.
.....
Today.
I don't have any hope.
Or dream.
Cause I can't stop myself.
From loving you.
So I can't focus on anything.
Can't talk to you.
For me.
It's as long as a century.
I feel so bad.
I wish you were here.
And hug me.
Warm me with love.
Although it's fake.
.....
Saturday, September 24, 2011 3:50:23 PM
I know the reason.
Really.
It's not simple.
I think I can catch it.
But I fail.
.....
How can I let everything happens?
I don't remember.
I just realize 1 thing.
I'm in trouble now.
I'm such a stupid girl.
Nothing can change my wrong decision.
It makes me feel bad.
Like I'm a swindler.
.....
I'm not deliberate.
It's just a misunderstanding.
If I could have a choice.
I would never let it happens again.
I beg you.
Forget all what I just say.
Cause it's just a joke.
It's not serious.
And I don't wanna hurt you.
So I satisfy you.
With lie.
I'm sorry.
I just wanna make you feel more happy.
But it seems you misunderstand.
Don't suppose I like you.
More than a friend.
I don't wanna fall in love again.
......
Sorry for everything.
I shouldn't accept you as friends first.
If I didn't do that.
We would never know each other.
Or maybe I never hurt you.
I'm a bad girl.
I'm selfish.
And I'm always surly with everybody.
Whom I hate.
But I don't hate you.
That why I lie to you.
On purpose to make you smile.
I love your smile.
It seduces me at the first time we meet.
Don't worry.
I will protect that smile.
I wanna own your heart.
I desire your body.
I wanna catch your sentiment.
I will do everything.
To have you.
So don't try to shun.
Cause you will be mine.
.....
I wanna say.
You're so heartfelt.
That why I love you.
.....
Thursday, September 22, 2011 5:02:41 PM
I'm sad.
Cause of your cold behavior.
Why do you unfriend?
Do you really hate me?
I don't remember anything.
I just know 1 thing.
The way you leave.
It hurts me so much.
Of course you never know.
Cause you are the worse person.
You betray all my belief.
Have you ever felt same feeling before?
I bet you say 'yes'.
But I don't believe you.
.....
Don't make me laugh.
You're such a big liar.
You say you understand.
How can you treat me in same way?
It makes me scorn you more.
You're a bad friend.
You turn me into a fool.
I regret trusting you.
If I knew your true form.
I would never accept you as a friend.
I swear.
If I meet you again some day.
I'll revenge.
.....
Wednesday, September 21, 2011 3:43:51 PM
I know.
I miss many important things.
I feel regret.
But I can't do anything now.
Everything is out of control.
No more thing I can catch.
I lose.
I just can sit here.
And feel powerless.
.....
I wanna apologize.
To you - my love.
For the way I hurt you.
I feel painful.
I shed tears.
What a gloomy day of our life.
I'm sorry.
I repent now.
I wanna see your smiling face.
Just once more.
Please.
Don't hate me.
I don't deliberately do it.
Please.
Forgive me.
Then we can begin again.
.....
Don't look me like that.
Don't call me by that name.
Don't touch me.
Don't sulk to me.
Don't think I hate you.
I just can't express my love for you.
I know you feel hurt.
When I treat you coldly.
Cause that the only way I love you.
Maybe It make you sad.
I beg you.
Believe in me.
Trust my love.
Don't doubt.
You will find my true sentiment.
You will know my thought.
All my love for you.
.....
Please.
Don't turn away from me.
When I say I'm okay.
It's absolutely a big lie.
I'm not fine.
I'm faint.
Please.
Hug me tightly.
Kiss my soft lips.
Wipe my warm tears.
And love me.
.....
Monday, September 19, 2011 3:05:22 PM
The answer is 'no one'.
How sad.
But it's the bitter truth.
I can't shun.
Hum...I don't wanna know the reason.
Although I'm very curious.
Ah...It's too hard to decide.
How much sorrow do I feel when I be hurt?
Nothing can measure it.
Forget it.
I speak at random again.
It's one of my bad habits.
.....
I don't wanna tell about habits now.
I just wanna share my feeling.
Specially the deceitful people.
When my friends lie to me.
If they're girls.
I just feel sad.
After then I willing forgive them.
And I smile to them again.
But if they're man.
I'm very disappointed.
I swear.
I never forgive them.
Even though they apologize to me for what they do.
I can't accept such rotten man in my life.
How nasty they are.
How can they do it?
What the hell are they thinking?
All of them are doltish.
I never see their face again.
If they deliberately trick me.
It's the worse thing.
I despise most.
.....
Hum...don't think.
You can tease me.
I never be trapped.
I'm not a fool.
So I can distinguish everything you say.
It's not hard to find out a lie.
.....
If you wanna make friends with me.
Don't lie to me.
Swearing you never lie.
Then I can trust you.
Don't make me regret.
For becoming friends with you.
.....
Sunday, September 18, 2011 2:48:41 PM
Be loved.
I don't think so.
.....
Since I was born.
I always hope.
About love.
Love someone.
And be loved.
It's warm.
It helps me to believe in life.
It's my motivation.
Even it always hurt me.
I never can hate it.
How cruel.
.....
When I face to love at first time.
It likes a faint wind.
So gentle.
I agitated.
Until now I wonder.
How many man am I in love with?
Too many man.
But I never forget anyone of them.
Cause it's my unilateral love.
.....
I write all my feeling for them here.
All my sweet memories.
I don't wanna lose it.
Those are very precious.
It reminds me.
About my ebullient sentiment of my childhood.
.....
Sometimes I look back bygone time.
And I always smile.
Cause it's so lovable.
I miss those days.
Too much regret.
And too many joys.
.....
I hate.
When I be brought back to reality.
And I suddenly notice.
It's just a tender dream.
Eventually I pine for it.
.....
Friday, September 16, 2011 3:32:59 PM
Nothing can help me now.
I'm in a deep hole.
Where has no light.
No hope.
No emotion.
No senses.
No joy.
.....
I'm in trouble.
I don't know why.
I can't portray it.
I just can feel it.
Like a filthy cobweb.
.....
Why I fall.
I think.
Cause I have no friend now.
All of them disappear.
It's undue.
I always be there whenever they need.
Why don't they treat me well?
Like the way I treat them.
It's unfair.
They're not even worthy of being my friends.
......
And the most important thing I really hate.
The rude and impolite friends.
I hate them very much.
I don't need them.
They deserve ill.
They must be punished.
Don't undervalue me.
I hate it.
Don't make me feel furious.
Or you will regret.
Don't abandon me.
Without explaining.
It's coward.
Don't torture me.
I'm not your pet.
And don't treat me as a fool.
I'm more intelligent than you think.
......
I always think about my future.
To dream of having a sweet love.
To wish for best things.
And not to regret about past.
......
Thursday, September 15, 2011 7:27:22 AM
Why can everybody find their love easily?
And why can they recognize their believable friends?
.....
It's hard to give the answer.
Even I try to find out.
I never obtain anything.
As if it didn't have reason.
No one can grasp it.
Just like me.
They don't understand it too.
It comes to them naturally.
And they only accept it.
Without asking.
.....
When I need someone to talk.
Nobody is around there.
They don't appear.
Even though I wait for them.
They don't know when I'm sad.
Cause they don't care.
They have more interesting friends.
So they don't need a boring friend.
Just like me.
.....
Whether I like it or not.
I have to accept my fate.
A lonely fate.
Without any friends.
.....
Despite all changes.
I never change my mind.
I love myself.
.....
Monday, September 12, 2011 3:42:08 PM
I don't understand.
Why my friends abandon me.
I don't do anything wrong.
I just wanna be friends.
I hope I find good friends.
I think I have true friends.
But I'm wrong.
At last I'm alone again.
No one can understand me.
They can't catch my thought.
I'm very upset.
I don't need anybody.
Who never can talk to me.
It's very unwelcome.
I can't accept any friends like that.
They're deplorable.
I hate them.
I wish I had never met them.
What a awful fault.
I have a big mistake.
When I add them as friends.
What can I expect from such god-damned people?
......
I get mad right now.
I wanna erase all of them.
Those bastard.
I swear I will revenge.
Nothing can stop me.
When they trick me.
They never know the consequence.
How stupid they are.
But I never sympathize.
Cause they deserve to be punished.
......
Sunday, September 11, 2011 3:34:09 PM
I need to tell you.
Don't treat me like a fool.
I know what you're thinking.
You're afraid of me.
You don't wanna have a person.
Who is more intelligent than you.
You're over-selfish.
But don't worry.
I don't pay attention to it.
What I truly hate.
Is the way you hurt me.
I don't overlook it.
I will revenge.
I will make you feel heart-broken.
.....
I only love a man.
But I like many men.
I can't explain for it.
It's just my instinct.
Loving someone.
It's as sweet as honey.
I wanna taste it.
But it's addictive.
It hurt everyone.
Who is curious.
.....
Don't be silly like me.
Don't fall in love with a swindler.
If you don't wanna demolish your belief.
Or.
Don't pay attention to what I say.
If you wanna have an enjoyable adventure.
But at last we need a peaceful time.
To think about what we experience.
We may learn a lesson from it.
All we need.
The brave.
And not to hesitate to try the new challenges.
.....
It makes your life more exciting.
So don't be hesitated.
Just keep going
And you will have the happiness.
.....
Friday, September 9, 2011 3:48:20 PM
If I continue like that.
I will go crazy.
I can't bear it more.
I need a way out.
I nearly lose my senses.
Oh no.
It's not good.
.....
Someone help.
I will repay for your kindness.
I will do everything you want.
If I can.
But it's just my dream.
It's fantastic.
Cause you never know when I need you.
And how you can save me.
I wonder.
When I can meet you.
I have many necessary things to tell you.
If you wanna hear.
My love.
.....
My life is wretched.
I can't ignore it anymore.
I need to change for the better.
I think you never understand.
Don't misunderstand.
I mean.
My words are too difficult for you to digest.
So you don't try to know.
It's vain.
.....
I'm mist.
I'm mysterious.
You never catch me.
You can try.
But when you fail.
Don't ask me why.
Cause it's an enigmatic secret.
.....
Wednesday, September 7, 2011 3:42:55 PM
Morning.
Everything is fine.
I have a wonderful mood.
I can do whatever I like.
I'm friendly.
I'm happy.
I think I can idle talk all day.
.....
Noon.
Everything is still okay.
At least I don't let any bad things happen.
But I don't feel happy.
I feel empty.
I know I need something.
But I can't interpret on my thoughts.
So I feel onerous.
.....
Afternoon.
The weather is very hot.
I can't bear it.
I feel sick.
I just wanna sleep.
I can't keep my eyes opening.
So I bend down and doze.
This is so bad.
.....
Evening.
It seems be better.
There's thunder in the air.
I nearly leap for joy.
I love rain very much.
It makes me feel peaceful.
My teacher let me draw a bust.
I never feel happy like that before.
......
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 3:33:43 PM
I had a unpleasant day.
I think I had to witness many pressing scene.
So I don't feel well now.
I wanna demolish everything.
Everything I can reach.
.......
I think.
Just contemplate someone from a distance.
That feeling.
Making me feels hurt.
But I have no choice.
I can't come close him.
I'm afraid of him.
Maybe he's a dangerous wild beast.
Or a sugary trap.
.......
I always look at everybody.
Rating their character.
I don't connect to them.
Cause I don't wanna they see through my mind.
.......
Monday, September 5, 2011 3:20:13 PM
Today I learn a new experience.
Don't wander.
Unless you know exactly where you are.
I nearly strayed.
No....I think I strayed.
Somehow I was lucky.
I finally find the true road to home.
After wandering everywhere.
......
But I didn't feel fear.
I just felt normal.
I can't define it.
It likes a peaceful minute on my mind.
I felt as though I was free.
I could fly.
Finally I could escape from this busy life.
......
But everlastingly it is a vague dream.
A dream I never touch.
Cause it is too far.
Too miraculous.
......
I'm truly a daydreamer.
I can imagine everything.
It is inside my head.
But it is too hard.
To turn a dream into fact.
......
If you know the way.
Share it with me.
......
Sunday, September 4, 2011 3:30:58 PM
I lose my way now.
I don't think about this situation.
I never prepare for it.
And now I'm puzzled.
......
Well I have no choice.
I need a quick solution.
I don't need another trouble.
But I always have trouble.
I can't escape from it.
......
I really wanna be free.
Like a bird.
Like a flower.
Never fear of sorrow.
......
Actually I don't know who I am now.
As if I'm floating.
And never know where I can finish.
My wandering life is so long.
I wander everywhere.
Whenever I want.
But I still feel lacked.
Maybe I need someone.
Whom I really love.
......
I say about love again.
Hum....I feel uncomfortable now.
I have to take a rest.
......
Saturday, September 3, 2011 11:08:47 AM
Hum.....I don't know.
I can't explain why.
But I think it's good.
At least nothing bad happens.
I'm not sure.
Maybe it doesn't come now.
But it will soon.
.....
I have some plans for tonight.
I hope everything is fine.
.....
I think I have to set up my life.
I don't wanna be left behind.
.....
So I think I have to try more.
For a new day of my life.
Which have happiness.
Not sadness anymore.
.....
Friday, September 2, 2011 4:10:31 AM
My secret world still lacks.
I don't know what it is.
But I think I can create it.
.......
I wanna everybody knows me.
I wanna own everything I like.
I wanna have many good friends.
I wanna be alone when I'm sad.
I wanna be loved.
I wanna be happy.
All I really need is luckiness.
.......
Sometimes I wonder.
Why do I feel lonely?
Why can't I feel happy?
I can't do what I want.
I don't know what I need.
I can't notice what I should do.
.......
Many times I feel sad.
I need you so much.
But you can't understand that.
You abandon me.
You break my heart.
With your emotionless eyes.
You know.
I can't bear.
When you see my sadness.
You don't console me.
You even ridicule me.
I hate you.
I never wanna see your face again.
But I still miss you.
That why I feel sad.
I lose balance.
.......
And now I don't know which the true way I have to go.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 1:47:24 PM
I can't focus on what I do.
I feel the emptiness of heart.
I don't know.
Why I feel sad now.
I even can't cry.
.......
If I'm sad.
Whom will be by my side?
Whom will dry my tears?
I need someone who love me now.
Don't pity me.
.......
I can't express my feeling.
I don't know.
How to connect to everybody.
It seems I have built a stable wall around my heart.
I don't care when the world change.
I just care how to escape from the vapid prison.
.......
Tell me.
Will you help me?
I really need you.
As a good friend.
.......
Tuesday, August 30, 2011 3:11:29 PM
I feel as if everything doesn't exist.
No one can hear me now.
Cause they vanish.
My faith is collapsed.
No one can hear the scream of my heart.
How stupid I am.
......
I'm afraid of darkness.
But it dominates my heart.
It doesn't let me go.
It imprisons my soul.
It puts out my hope.
It detains my emotion of love.
......
Please show me.
How can I escape from it?
I wanna run away far from its effect.
Help me.
To find the light of hope again.
......
Let me tell you.
How did I fall down despair.
Cause of you.
You are the only reason.
Only you can make me despair of love.
You make me feel upset.
You are so cunning.
I hate you.
But I can't punish your sin.
Cause I also have fault.
I let myself fell in love with you.
I regret what I have done for you.
You don't deserve to be my important person.
Whom I trust by all my heart.
Whom I share my love.
......
I hate people like you.
Monday, August 29, 2011 2:31:52 PM
If you wanna know.
I will tell you.
But you have to promise.
You won't scorn what I say.
........
Tell me what you want.
I promise I will share.
If you need.
I won't force you.
I don't wanna make you feel sad.
I just wanna make you happy.
........
Please tell me my friend.
I wanna know.
What do you think of me.
Am I a good girl?
Am I a honest friend?
And did I treat you well?
........
Sorry if I make you upset.
But I 'm definitively not a best friend.
Whom you can trust.
Cause I will betray you someday.
I will abandon you.
I will make you cry.
And I won't feel regret.
.......
That all I wanna say.
Tell me what you think.
Don't lie.
Cause I can guess your thought.
.......
Sunday, August 28, 2011 2:06:59 PM
I don't wanna remember all sad memories.
I wanna forget everything.
To begin a new day.
With happiness and fun.
I believe in myself.
I will make my life become bright.
.........
Does forget all.
What I need now.
A friend.
Whom I can share my thought.
Whom I can trust.
Who never betray me.
.........
But it seems hard.
To find a good friend.
Where I can meet u?
My true friend.
I'm waiting for u.
.........
Saturday, August 27, 2011 6:49:10 AM
First I wanna say.
I hate liars.
They make me feel disgusting.
........
Second I wanna know.
What is exactly my friend's sex.
Maybe it sounds rude.
But I wanna know.
........
Third I wanna ask.
Why don't people love me.
They always run when they see me.
I wonder why?
I don't think I'm too ugly for them to dodge.
I think I'm a pure and simple girl.
I love the beauty of things.
I love cute animals.
And I think it's normal.
All girls like me.
Must have a happy life.
Forever.
........
Tuesday, August 23, 2011 3:14:18 PM
I think I die.
I don't know what the hell I am thinking.
I just don't feel good.
I hate men.
They are liars.
.......
I wanna eat them.
I wanna tear them to pieces.
.......
How bad they are.
Don't look at me like that.
As if I am a toy.
A pity toy.
.......
Don't play with me.
I will kill all of u.
My life is so god-damned.
.......
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My Opera
