Scam.... or shall i say DESPERATE...?
Thursday, 20. December 2007, 11:13:53
Three kinds of ...
Thursday, 20. December 2007, 11:08:16
Family is at the dinner table.
The son asks his father, "Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son,
there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50,they are like onions".
"Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up
and the balls are just for decoration."
The son asks his father, "Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son,
there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50,they are like onions".
"Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up
and the balls are just for decoration."
NEW LAW
Thursday, 20. December 2007, 10:57:51
Yet Another New Law:-
With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Durban City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Pavilion Mall in Westville.
Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.
Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in South Africa.
With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Durban City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Pavilion Mall in Westville.
Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.
Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in South Africa.
Boiling eggs...
Thursday, 20. December 2007, 10:46:11
MORNING SEX -
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in; She turned and said,
You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
His eyes lit up and he thought,
'This is my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
And then gave it his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said,
'Thanks,' and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,
'What was that all about?'
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in; She turned and said,
You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
His eyes lit up and he thought,
'This is my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
And then gave it his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said,
'Thanks,' and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,
'What was that all about?'
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Thursday, 20. December 2007, 10:38:09
Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of whic h way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $500 0. T
ux rental-$100. P
eople never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks..
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier...
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of whic h way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $500 0. T
ux rental-$100. P
eople never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks..
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier...
Ancient Wisdom, Modern Living
Wednesday, 12. December 2007, 13:10:42
In our deepest moments of struggle, frustration, fear, and confusion, we are being called upon to reach in and touch our hearts.
Then, we will know what to do, what to say, how to be.
What is right is always in our deepest heart of hearts.
It is from the deepest part of our hearts that we are capable of reaching out and touching another human being.
It is, after all, one heart touching another heart. -- Roberta Sage Hamilton
Then, we will know what to do, what to say, how to be.
What is right is always in our deepest heart of hearts.
It is from the deepest part of our hearts that we are capable of reaching out and touching another human being.
It is, after all, one heart touching another heart. -- Roberta Sage Hamilton
...Best Wedding Dance Ever
Monday, 3. December 2007, 12:03:15
'n ou met 'n plan...
Monday, 3. December 2007, 07:24:33
Die vrou se man werk nagdiens en haar "boyfriend" is die nag saam met haar in die bed. Buite reën dit dat dit vrek.
Vroeg die oggend hoor hulle haar man kom vroeër as verwag terug...
Die "boyfriend" skrik hom dood en spring sommer kaalgat deur die venster - en buite reën dit nog steeds.
Hy land op die sypaadjie tussen 'n klomp manne wat vroegoggend draf.
Hy hou kop en draf sommer saam.
Later vra die een ou "Draf jy altyd so kaal?"
Sê hy "Ja dis gesond en goed vir die liggaam".
Later vra die ou weer "Draf jy altyd met 'n kondoom?"
"Nee" sê hy "net as dit reën".
Vroeg die oggend hoor hulle haar man kom vroeër as verwag terug...
Die "boyfriend" skrik hom dood en spring sommer kaalgat deur die venster - en buite reën dit nog steeds.
Hy land op die sypaadjie tussen 'n klomp manne wat vroegoggend draf.
Hy hou kop en draf sommer saam.
Later vra die een ou "Draf jy altyd so kaal?"
Sê hy "Ja dis gesond en goed vir die liggaam".
Later vra die ou weer "Draf jy altyd met 'n kondoom?"
"Nee" sê hy "net as dit reën".
Girls and guy facts=How true is this?
Monday, 3. December 2007, 06:29:33
Girl Facts:
When you break a girls heart-
she still feels it when
you run into eachother 3 years later
When a girl is quiet-
millions of things are running through her
mind.
When a girl is not arguing-
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions-
she is wondering how long you will be
around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a
few
seconds-
she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you-
she is wondering why you are so
wonderful.
When a girl lays her head on your chest-
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl says that she can't live
without you-
she has made up her mind that you are
her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you, "-
no one in this world can miss you more
than that
When a girl is mean to you after a breakup-
she wants you back, but she's
scared she'll get hurt and knows
your gone forever
Guy Facts:
When a guy calls-
he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet-
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing-
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few
minutes-
he means it
When a guy stares at you-
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders
if you do?
When you're laying your head on a guy's
chest-
he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday-
he is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you-
he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you-
he's in it till the end
When a guy says, "I miss you, "-
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else.....
When you break a girls heart-
she still feels it when
you run into eachother 3 years later
When a girl is quiet-
millions of things are running through her
mind.
When a girl is not arguing-
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions-
she is wondering how long you will be
around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a
few
seconds-
she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you-
she is wondering why you are so
wonderful.
When a girl lays her head on your chest-
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl says that she can't live
without you-
she has made up her mind that you are
her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you, "-
no one in this world can miss you more
than that
When a girl is mean to you after a breakup-
she wants you back, but she's
scared she'll get hurt and knows
your gone forever
Guy Facts:
When a guy calls-
he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet-
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing-
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few
minutes-
he means it
When a guy stares at you-
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders
if you do?
When you're laying your head on a guy's
chest-
he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday-
he is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you-
he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you-
he's in it till the end
When a guy says, "I miss you, "-
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else.....
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