Siddhartha
Saturday, 30. September 2006, 06:23:36
I was reminded tonight of what Hesse says in Siddhartha:
I took my car in to be appraised so we can sell it; it doesn't seem financially prudent to ship it, nor worth the expense. I'd rather spend the insurance and payment money on finding a central place near to work, shops, cafes. In any case, the process took 3 times longer than they estimated and signifanctly pushed back our plans to leave town but S and I made alternate plans, got a good offer on the car, and I can leave knowing that that's sorted.
----
Had lunch with Mom and GAX today. They let Eric stay out of school so he could come and visit and let H boss him around. I like that, at under 1/5th his age and weight, she sets the rules and games and he, all goofy teenager, trots along behind, allowing her to take charge. GAX planted our flowers and now the house looks better and the plants stand more of a chance than when we, clueless in the face of nature, killed the last batch with overwatering and too much Texas heat.
Tomorrow, it's up to the in-laws in Oklahoma to see S's family one last time before heading overseas. They have been really supportive throughout and H will enjoy visiting her cousins and grandparents. Seeing my Texas family and S's will hopefully help little miss H to see how much she is loved and take some of the sting out of Daddy going away for a month. She is already emotionally worn out and cried tonight because the dogs aren't here to get petted, they went to camp for the weekend.
We were talking tonight about how our memories of arrivals and send-offs was at the gate, right at the end of the jetway. To a child the transition is more clear when they can see the plane you are going to and see it back slowly out and turn to get in line for taking off. But in the new world, she will simply have to take our word for it and allow it to be somewhat abstract. I remember waiting for my father at the gate with my niece and nephew, not so many years ago; we would try to guess which bright and wildly patterned shirt or scarf he might be wearing and which of us would see him first.
It may be a long month for H and a difficult first few days but perhaps it will help her learn on eof the three cardinal skills, to wait and be patient. She already knows that when she is cranky or upset, she should "take a deep breath - be like Buddha".
Oddly, as we are not Buddhists (despite some strong appeal), H got on the biggest Buddha kick a few months ago. When I asked her what she wanted to het S for Mother's Day, she said "Buddha". And she rejected several in two different stores until we found just the right one for her Mom. Come Father's day, I got the same treatment. A different Buddha from the same collection. She can be very cute and very formal for a girl who loves pirate swords. In the elevator at the consulate, she got right in front of the doors and when we reached our floor, she stepped out, put her palms together, and took a deep bow before running off down the hall.
---
Speaking of Buddha reminds me of crickets. It's cricket season again in Austin. They are in every shop and they plop on the car windows and injured ones seem to be constantly in your path. Back in the late 80s and early 90s it was so bad that they hadto bring mechanical leaf blowers to the Capital to clear the steps and at the malls you could hear the crunching as cars drove over the black blanket of crickets under the street lamps and birds cricled endlessly above the insect buffet. At the time I wrote a poem about who is compelled to repeat the same night over and over again or burst into a million trilling crickets. This year I hear them and have seen a few struggling to cross the vast linoleum mall interiors where they do not belong but have not seen the swarm like effects of 20 years ago.
I've never been tempted to put one in a silver cage for luck.
What is it that you've learned, what you're able to do?
I can think. I can wait. I can fast.
That's everything?
I believe, that's everything!
I took my car in to be appraised so we can sell it; it doesn't seem financially prudent to ship it, nor worth the expense. I'd rather spend the insurance and payment money on finding a central place near to work, shops, cafes. In any case, the process took 3 times longer than they estimated and signifanctly pushed back our plans to leave town but S and I made alternate plans, got a good offer on the car, and I can leave knowing that that's sorted.
----
Had lunch with Mom and GAX today. They let Eric stay out of school so he could come and visit and let H boss him around. I like that, at under 1/5th his age and weight, she sets the rules and games and he, all goofy teenager, trots along behind, allowing her to take charge. GAX planted our flowers and now the house looks better and the plants stand more of a chance than when we, clueless in the face of nature, killed the last batch with overwatering and too much Texas heat.
Tomorrow, it's up to the in-laws in Oklahoma to see S's family one last time before heading overseas. They have been really supportive throughout and H will enjoy visiting her cousins and grandparents. Seeing my Texas family and S's will hopefully help little miss H to see how much she is loved and take some of the sting out of Daddy going away for a month. She is already emotionally worn out and cried tonight because the dogs aren't here to get petted, they went to camp for the weekend.
We were talking tonight about how our memories of arrivals and send-offs was at the gate, right at the end of the jetway. To a child the transition is more clear when they can see the plane you are going to and see it back slowly out and turn to get in line for taking off. But in the new world, she will simply have to take our word for it and allow it to be somewhat abstract. I remember waiting for my father at the gate with my niece and nephew, not so many years ago; we would try to guess which bright and wildly patterned shirt or scarf he might be wearing and which of us would see him first.
It may be a long month for H and a difficult first few days but perhaps it will help her learn on eof the three cardinal skills, to wait and be patient. She already knows that when she is cranky or upset, she should "take a deep breath - be like Buddha".
Oddly, as we are not Buddhists (despite some strong appeal), H got on the biggest Buddha kick a few months ago. When I asked her what she wanted to het S for Mother's Day, she said "Buddha". And she rejected several in two different stores until we found just the right one for her Mom. Come Father's day, I got the same treatment. A different Buddha from the same collection. She can be very cute and very formal for a girl who loves pirate swords. In the elevator at the consulate, she got right in front of the doors and when we reached our floor, she stepped out, put her palms together, and took a deep bow before running off down the hall.
---
Speaking of Buddha reminds me of crickets. It's cricket season again in Austin. They are in every shop and they plop on the car windows and injured ones seem to be constantly in your path. Back in the late 80s and early 90s it was so bad that they hadto bring mechanical leaf blowers to the Capital to clear the steps and at the malls you could hear the crunching as cars drove over the black blanket of crickets under the street lamps and birds cricled endlessly above the insect buffet. At the time I wrote a poem about who is compelled to repeat the same night over and over again or burst into a million trilling crickets. This year I hear them and have seen a few struggling to cross the vast linoleum mall interiors where they do not belong but have not seen the swarm like effects of 20 years ago.
I've never been tempted to put one in a silver cage for luck.
WIDGETIZE