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Ceci n'est pas un blog

trials, travels, and travails

Posts tagged with "family"

sigh

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I had planned a long and eloquent post about how the residual damp from the fog crystilzes into leopard spots of black ice at night. I had planned to mention the eventual passing of my swollen lymph nodes and related symptoms. Pictures of H assembling makeshift dresses from blankets in an attempt to look like the "sparkle girls" on Skal Vi Danse?, the Norse version of Dancing with the Stars and a scathing review of the immensely disappointing JPod were to be included.

But the pink eye (!) that I somehow caught from my FjordMonkey is making this a little more difficult to do than it normally would be. There is this whole matter of having one itchy swollen red eye that I am trying to keep shut.el

So there is no room tonight to discuss Thanksgiving and how different it is this year and what it is for us ... and what it is not. No patience left in me to describe the woman, all in black, encountered late at night practicing what seemed to be an ice dance routine but on roller blades.

I will say that our first parent conference with the Barnahage went very well and while our H had a rough first month adjusting, she is doing really well now, has friends and is picking up the language faster than anyone could teach it to her. Insert touching and humorous anecdote here, I'm off to put a compress on my eye and sleep in a quarantine zone.

sigh

struggle

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Our new neighborhood is, for those of you that know Austin, most analogous to Clarksville. An old worker neighborhood later invaded by Bohemians and slowly gentrified but still with a quirky air and rising house prices. Kampen means Struggle and probably dates to the early part of the 20th century when it was well known as the Communist part of town.

And so this post takes its spirit from that name.

I, clearly, struggle to post here regularly.

We all are struggling not to be brought down by the sniffly cold that's going around. It has effectively prevented us from celebrating S's good news (employment here at Opera).

H is particularly struggling with Barnahage (something between day care and kindergarten). Tears and screaming "I don't want to go to school. I don't want to see Dag and my friends." Just anticipating it sent her into over an hour of anxiety crying on the weekend ... and yet, once there draws and paints and plays and rides the bikes around and is a good kid. We think we've sussed out the source of the anxiety and she seems, today, a bit reassured.

I am struggling to get enough sleep. Walking the dogs and getting H off to barnahage means waking up a fair amount earlier than I used to but I'm not really going to sleep any sooner.

The hedgehogs are struggling to avoid our dogs. The parks are full of the little spiky critters and Tosca and Seamus are obsessed with them. It takes all my strength to hold them back from the slow moving and very cute little animals waddling about in the wet grass.

And right now, I'm struggling to get wrap this up so we can serve dinner before H falls asleep. With no nap and active days, she doesn't need a bed time, she's falling asleep even before we can go to bed and read stories most days.

brechtian punk cabaret

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There was a recent article in the NYTimes about the rise of the Weimar aesthetic in some very off-color adult political cabaret.

And this struck me because just earlier this week I was listening to the Dresden Dolls, who describe themselves as "Brechtian Punk Cabaret" partly because it is so evocative and partly to make sure no one calls them Goth. Their infectious clangy piano and passionate vocals got me hunting for more "Dark Cabaret" scene music.

And while I was thinking how interesting it is that this trend harkened back to 70s glam scene (also visually referenced several times during Eurovision), there was yet another sign that Weimar is having its place in the zeitgeist: the Metropolitan Museum in NY had an exhibit just a few months ago called Glitter and Doom at the Met. Some very interesting pieces that capture the loosened morals and more liberal laws of the era but also a sort of sadness, it seems to me.

When I fell into the wikipedia rabbit hole on this topic, I saw an amazing picture of a young lady feeding huge stacks of money into her fireplace since it was so much cheaper than firewood. The spiral of massive inflation and devaluation helps explain the context for the ugly brown-shirted end of the period.
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On an unrelated macabre note, Damien Hirst has made the most expensive piece of art ever, a human skull encrusted with diamonds and platinum. It is titled "For the love of God" presumambly because that is what everyone says as soon as they hear about the $99million price tag. While I have seen some of his work that I quite like, much of it leaves me cold. It doesn't feel as twee and contrived as many of Koons art does but there is a gimmicky quality. There is a very nice analysis in Prospect Magazine.
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And on a more personal note, work has gone completely insane. Just as we pass the middle of the long Norwegian vacation season, it seems that we suddenly have several new and high profile projects landing on us, dozens of new resumes to review, some interesting opportunities to completely re-write things so they will work with new feature requests coming in. Busy is good but it doesn't rain that it pours.

Moving next week should be fun. We are very much looking forward to being settled in the new home, H starting school, and shifting our schedule to look more like something you might find in a "normal" family. At the moment we keep the hours of a mad Spaniard; dinner after 9:30, stories close to midnight, sleep sometime later. All this will change and our eccentricities will find another outlet.



first borns and second borns

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"Some studies find that both the older and younger siblings tend to describe the firstborn as more disciplined, responsible, high-achieving." said an article not too long ago.

My oldest circle of friends is made up almost exclusively of first born of two. Even in high school we noticed that a lunch table of 7, five of were the first of two, one was an only child, and I can't remember the other. Of that circle several married other first of twos.

Yesterday was my little sister's birthday. I say little but she is a mother of two teen-age kids but I think she would agree with the statement above. She might say that she is more street smart, that she's tougher. I am the square and she's the rebel. She may be thirty something, listen to Gypsy Kings over dinner, and be a good mom but she's still clearly the same tough rock'n'roll chick I remember standing in the smoking section at school with the teachers, the punks, and the bikers.

One of my closest friends began dating a girl back in the 80s who lived in a tiny nearby town/suburb with only one stop light. They are married now with two kids. The town has been basically absorbed into Austin and it's one-time open spaces filled with look-alike track houses and look alike people. But her litlle brother, a skinny kid with rock star dreams back in 86, wrote to me yesterday.

He's a dad with silvering hair now. He was our realestate agent when we sold our house. And he's an avant garde musician with a strong academic background in composition. His website references Cy Twombly and Jean Cocteau. Even though I've seen him perform at an Austin Museum of Digital Art event and have heard him talk intelligently about John Cage, I still sometimes find myself surprised that this suburban kid whose conservative family watches college football the way evangelicals go to a tent revival is involved in some of the most challenging minimalist and experimental music going on in central Texas.

Those second of two kids. They grow up, put their children in Old Navy clothes, move to the suburbs, but that wild risk-taker streak never leaves. Wish I had a bit more of that. :smile:

Speaking of Cocteau and first borns, several of us from that high school circle of friends (ok, one is the youngest of three) are still very much in touch and there seems to be a coincidental push to write a book among several of us (yes, I have to admit to having started an outline some time ago). We have all at various times in our lives aspired to being men of letters. For about 6 months when I was 19 might have listed my career goal as "Romantic Poet and Mystic". We have at various points in time had writing circles where we each brought something to Sunday brunch for reading and comment or written exquisite corpse style stories together ... but that's been, well, a long time ago now.

So why now? I think it's 40. In the same way that there was a mad rush of babies as our friends approached 30, there is now a feeling that, I'm speculating wildly here, that we want to have achieved something literary, be it genre or memoire or nonfiction, by 40. I don't know, just seems like an odd coincidence that four of us that I know of have book plans and another regularly writes book reviews and commentary.

Hopefully in a year or two, you'll see us gathered together on the New Releases table at your local mega book store.

vignettes from the year's end

As we approached our first Christmas in Norway, the glittering hoarfrost was driven back by a light warm rain, no snow in site.

Before the thaw I saw two boys standing on an ice covered brook banging holes into it with a large branch. This seems unwise but they survived without crashing through.

In our new apartment with so many fun toys still wrapped and hiding underthe tree, I made a cardboard and foil sword for our tiny Mulan/Pirate/Robin Hood/Peter Pan/Princess-with-Attitude. Many a duel resulted in her triumphant cry of "Touché" and my writhing on the floor in the gravest of mock-agony death scenes.

Unlike most Norwegians, we chose to celebrate our presents on Christmas morning. H woke up very late crying and uncomfortable and generally ill. For a 3.75 year old to express no interest in Santa or presents, we knew this to be a serious affair. After some comforting and falling back into a tearful sleep, she rose bright-eyed around 1:00 for lunch a lovely afternoon of present opening.

Gifts from America and from Santa and from her parents were all met with glee; each one considered and played with and enjoyed before moving on to the next. She loves her puzzles and pirate ship and tinker toys and dress-up doll and the "I'm Not Cute!" book has become required bed-time reading. She warmed quickly to the book of Van Gogh art and we were pleased that upon receiving her first Barbie branded toy, said "look, a dolly" and mostly she just ends up as a hostage to the pirates.

Our amazing neighbor had given us each a gift that was personal and thoughtful and chosen or made specifically for each of us.

A few days after Christmas we went to a colleague's apartment for an amazing dinner. The couple are amazingly well-read and well-travelled and basically among the most well-rounded geeks available. H took quite a while to open up but eventually the two lovely kittens, Ada and Linus (did I mention that they are proud geeks), drew H into their play. What had been an easy-going and fun night out took a turn as we realized that one of the kittens had gone missing. The small apartment was turned over and as we realized that there were no hiding places left, the only possibility remained that he had managed to get outside. After searching and searching on a bitterly cold evening we eventually left, worried and unsure whether this baby cat would survive. That night signs were posted and our hosts didn't sleep but, ever resourceful, Linus appeared late the next morning. He was even warm having found someplace to hide.

We spent our 5 year anniversary with another couple. We went out for Vietnamese/Thai. When H was around 19 months old she loved Pad Thai and adopted it as something of a battle cry. She would run around the house yelling "PadThai!" but now she's fairly cool on the idea and reported that this was too spicy. The owners of the restaurant were throwing a big birthday party for one of their friends or relitives and there were asian children running around everywhere. H was intrigued but rather than chasing after them, played with our friends and wanted very much to go home with them.

On S's birthday, also known as New Year's eve, we celebrated with pancakes, lingonberries, and a trip to the park. But I should explain that New Year's eve in Norway is unlike anything you may have seen before (unless you are Norwegian). The park seemed attractive to us as it is a wonderful high vantage point over much of the city in all directions but to the local residents it is the front line in their drunken battle against order, quiet, sobriety, and an injury free existence. Hundred and hundreds of over-dressed urbanites flocked to the park with the sorts of pyrotechnic explosives that any other country would ban and set them off at all angles and with no semblance of a strategy. If someone was not actively standing on a spot, then that spot was used to set off a massive missile. It was the loudest place I have ever been. It was also startlingly beautiful to be in the middle of this fussilade, mis'fires going off at eye level, intentional low flying trajectories. The dogs were so good in doors that we took them with us but the incessant booming and chaos of drunken packs of people terrified them and I raced them back home where their shakes could subside.

I spoke to my sister on her wedding day. They were headed to Costa Rica for a honeymoon and required visits to his family there. While sad to have missed it, I am happy for them and wish them all the best.

And now, while there is more to say , I have said enough and will head home to entertain my most silly and amazing child with pirate ships and dueling and broccoli power versus candy power battles.

PS: there's holiday pics in the Photos section

ketchup

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It's been a while since my last update. Having the family here means I don't linger at work to play online as much as I did and, well, we've been busy catching up, playing, exploring, and shopping.

The first few days we sat on the floor and ate picnic style. Even when our unbelievably kind and generous neighbor passed along an old drop leaf table, we only had the one chair I'd been using. As you can see, we now have a big comfy Ikea sofa that came in many small pieces and which we assembled late one night. Ikea is equal parts perfection and frustration. It takes a long time to get to the free bus and to time everything so you get back at a reasonable time (they are a good 25 minutes outside the city). The items range from cheap pressboard to quite expensive and sturdy. And they are specifically designed for you to linger and meander, which can be difficult the first time you are there and all you want is a plate and a pillow.

We also went down to see the Picasso exhibit at the National Gallery where S also got to see some very nice Munchs. The Picasso show was small but tightly focussed on his later drawings, mostly simple single-subject ink line drawings but also a few with classically arranged groups, usually including a minotaur. Our little miss H didn't really respond to these was but very curious about all sculpture (ranging from classical Greek to Degas to Henry Moore). She seemed to think that photos aren't art and wanted to get back to the paintings.

H is a good walker and we have pretty much carried her or let her walk since day one but we come from Texas Car Culture (tm) where distances are measured from the parkinglot or driveway. After carrying her sleeping dead-weight or exhausted fussiness, we finally got her a stroller. It has really saved us on some of our longer walks but is very difficult to manage on the tram/busses and encourages her to be a little less engaged with what's going on around her; she can pull her scarf up to her eyes and her hood down and zone. But on the whole, it's been well worth it and really freed us up to be able to shop and get around without worrying about her little legs or having to carry her + groceries up our flights and flights and flights of stairs.

Oslo is warm and bright. It is above freezing for the first time in about a week, maybe 5C. We are past the longest night of the year and the daylight should be getting longer by several minutes a day until 6 months from now when we will be spray painting our windows black in the hopes of getting any sleep. One of the really nice things about the short days we've been having is that I have seen so many sunrises. I had always preferred sunset to sunrise but lately the dogs and I have been able to stand on the frost covered hill and watch the sky turn from dark navy blues to deep pinks to yellow highlighted clouds against pale blue sky, the fjord beneath us turning from slate to shining mirror. It's strange to me that with just the humidity and fog we accumulate well over a quarter inch of frost on the ground and cars. With no rain or snow, the park is flocked in white and windows must be scraped. Tosca loves to run on the frozen leaves, the crunching under foot. The colder the day, the more excited the dogs are to be outside.

Did I mention that our neighbor is amazing? She is a professional Bohemian making her living from decoupage, sewn paper art, and renting booth space to other vendors at the weekly market in Blå, a local jazz club. She has loaned us not just the table but a kilim rug, two stools, a small bookshelf. She has allowed the dogs into her flat, which her 13 year old daughter loves, and been friendly and helpful. As S put it, she seems to be single handedly trying to tear down the stereotype of cold introverted Norwegians who are difficult to get to know.

The holidays are upon us. While we are glad to be together and looking forward to our first Oslo Christmas, our 5th anniversary, and S's birthday, we are really going to miss our family and friends and our traditions with them. With everything move realted so pushed back and the house not having sold yet, I will be missing not just any vacation to see relatives but my sister's long awaited wedding. I have known her fiancee since he was a little boy and our families have long been fast friends and intertwined. The happy couple have been together a long time, built a house together, worked together, travelled, moved to Hawaii and back. So this event is more of a public acknowledgement and celebration than the transition it can be for so many people. But that doesn't make it any less important. We will climb the hill, watch the fireworks erupt all over the city from every backyard and street corner and toast the new year and the celebration 5000 miles away.

There's so much more to chat about: the different way Norwegians decorate their trees, the choice they are given as a teenager between Confirmation in the church or Ethical Humanism, about seeing a crate of clementines for the tiny sum of 25 kroner just after reading about illegal migrant workers being exploited to pick clementines in Italy. But it's time to wake the family, make breakfast, and do a bit a shopping before the stores close for the next 3 days. A lady at work was talking about that special sense of calm and relief that a Norwegian gets when they know there's enough cream in the house. That's our goal for the day, to achieve the contentment of a full larder before a holiday.

God Jul Y'all!

monkeys and more

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We did a massive team building yesterday based on the Amazing Race with clues that lead to puzzles that resulted in clues to the next activity or puzzle. One of the best outcomes was that for one challenge, I got to write a haiku. This is what I submitted:
we wish that monkeys
could do our jobs quite quickly
but they just throw poo


So that was fun.

We even had to make a 2 minute bollywood style movie involving spatulas and towels, which I must say I'm not terribly pleased with but did result in a team win, so go us!

Looked at a couple more flats, nothing new to report yet.

Went to bed watching "ABBA dabba doo" which compiled interviews and clips of ABBA into a top 20 format. This was great because my 3 and half year old daughter's favorite song ever is Super Trouper and it was like she was with me. We measure distances in how many Super Troupers. She won't let anyone else sing along, she'll interrupt tih a "No, I do it!" and then sing in her tiny voice with index finger raised: "feeling like a number one". Kids are crazy like that.

squircles and spiders

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H loves that the stores are filled with holloween decor, all day she has been talking about spiders and asking me to draw spider webs and spiders for her. She asked me to show her pictures of spider webs. When I told S about this, she pictured H, at 3 and half, say, "Daddy, would you please do a google image search for me as I'd quite like to see a diverse array of spider webs." When in fact her construction was more like, "I see webs please NOW you have to do it."

"You have to" is a bit too prevalent in her vocabulary at the moment but it goes nicely with the "I will NOT bow down to You!" that she picked up from Alladin.

A friend of mine with odd obsessions has over 2072 images of circles on Flickr all cropped to square images that just fit the circle -- squircles. Most of these he's stitched into mosaics of related images where the relationship ranges from size of the original objects, colors, content, etc. H loves to find images of buttons in these and played "I spy my little eye..." for an hour with me on his flickr pages.

Today, when we were driving to the store to buy a throw to hide the dog drool stains on our sofa, she asked, "stay with me for ever and ever and ever?" Boy am I gonna miss her for the month+ I'll be in Oslo before they join. It's difficult to explain that you'll be there for the long haul with brief intermittent gaps.

We've started to look at flights for me and the cheapest one would have me transfer from Gatwick to Heathrow. It's about a 5 hour layover but I think that's not enough, what with having to collect baggage, go through customs, change airports, get everything re-checked, go through security, and find your gate not to mention lunch. Anyway, the hunt continues for a perfect flight and a place to live.