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Beer and Wine Rated

A whimsical guide to beers and wines of the world

Skol Beer



Brewed by Carlsberg in Malaysia, Skol apparently sprang from a "2,000-year old European heritage of the best brewing traditions and technology". Well, the brewing formula may be time-tested, but somewhere along the line the pale yellow lager must have lost its sting. There's just nothing inviting about the taste, and you get the sense that this is a beer that's more about aroma than body.

Rating: **

See Rating Guide)

Skol info

Carlsberg Beer



There was a time when this was the best beer you could buy in Asia. But the Danish brew has lost some of its prestige over the years, possibly because of less stringent manufacturing standards, at least in these parts. As a journalist, I was lucky enough to be flown to the Carlsberg HQ in Copenhagen in the early '90s to see the brewing process and taste beer fresh from the brewery for a week. Boy, did it go down smoothly then! It's still a fine beer, having a flavour that can best be described as pleasantly bodied and appealing, at least on the first few sips (or gulps), but it has lost a lot of ground to smaller players with a better handle on quality.

Rating: ***

See Rating Guide)


Carlsberg info

Tiger Beer



The best street beer in Asia that beats just about every imported variety available in the region, including European brands. There was a time — long, long ago — when it was a tad rough on the palate. But the lager has now been refined to an alluring smoothness. Best gulped off a bottle, this is a surprisingly tasty tipple that more than holds its own in an increasingly crowded field.

Rating: ****

See Rating Guide)


Tiger Beer info

Campo Largo - Merlot (2004)



Inexpensive Merlot from Chile that's flat and weakly fruity. The boasted "aromas of cherry, soft chocolate and ripe peppers" hardly manifest themselves, and no matter how chilled and meal-matched, you never get the eagerly-awaited "trip to the moon" feeling once the bottle is drained.

Rating: *

See Rating Guide)

Campo Largo info

Two Oceans - Cabernet Sauvignon - Merlot (2005)




Cheap wine from South Africa that's attractively labelled and promises an elegant tongue-trip. But the vaunted "ripe strawberry and cherry aromas on the nose" and "lovely concentration of fruit" never quite come through. In fact, this red has a bland and slightly sour texture, and the taste gets worse with every sip.

Rating: *

See Rating Guide)

Two Oceans info

Kingfisher



Another ho-hum Indian brew that pretends to be a "premium lager". It's not all that bad, having a fairly a smooth texture on the first few sips when it's well-chilled. But things get a bit dull as you start draining the can. And you'd want to reach for another Kingfisher only when there's nothing else available.

Rating: **

See Rating Guide)


Kingfisher info

Haywards 5000



Indian beer with 8% alcohol content. Apparently a "premium" lager, but has an awful medicinal tang like most strong Indian beers I've tasted. Good for those desperately seeking a fast buzz, but anyone with a refined palate will spit it out instantly after the first sip.

Rating: *
(See Rating Guide)


Haywards 5000 info

Welcome to Beer & Wine Rated!

This is where I try to taste every bottle (or can) of beer and wine ever produced on this gloriously polluted planet of ours and rate it like a seasoned vinophile (just kidding!). As they say, heaven is in the tongue of the tippler, so my idea of a celestial brew may not exactly be music for the mouth (burp, sorry for mixing... burp... metaphors!).

Beer/Wine Rating Guide:
***** God's Brew
**** Billie's Poison
*** Miles Smiles
** Boondocks Moonshine
* Where's the Beef?
- Pukesville


PS. A crushed can indicates that the brew is not worth trying again, even if you're not paying for it!