Friday, 4. December 2009, 12:26:34
dreams, A, love
Day four of December and it seems like we’re back to grey and wet weather … I don’t think that I have to tell you how boring I find it. Frost is so much prettier than rain! And sweetheart is getting his tyres changed today, so I won’t have to worry as much, even though I hardly think that I can stop worrying altogether. I guess that most people worry about bad things happening to their loved ones, and I am perhaps a bit worse than most people … I’ve worried myself sick for my sister on occasion too. I don’t want to imagine what it’ll be like if I ever have kids!
I managed to fall asleep finally yesterday, against all odds. The new pillow is probably good, but not cozy in the way a softer pillow is, you can’t cuddle with it, so to say. And being without my cuddly honey felt so lonely … When I finally fell asleep I dreamt that I was in Copenhagen, all alone, and I meant to go to a jazz club. There was a really friendly guy at the entrance that I spoke to, but I don’t recall that I ever actually entered the club … then I was at my hotel room and A. showed up. He said he had had some time over from whatever he was doing – I don’t think it was in the same city! - and had decided to come and keep me company for a while as he knew how I hated to be alone and ‘cause he had been missing me. Then we were in his car, and he parked it behind some building by a river so that we could snuggle, but then R. from work came into the car (that was now a truck of some sort) for no apparent reason, and the situation felt sort of awkward. Even though some of the elements of the dream were sort of weird, I wouldn’t say that it’s hard to see the “meaning” of it in general … as it’s obviously a wish-fulfilling dream
I woke from the dream around twelve, and got a text message from A. in which he was sending me lots of kisses … That made me feel warm at heart, I tell you, that he had been thinking of me in the middle of the night … and I fell asleep again after a while … Suppose no one is surprised when I say that it felt empty to wake up without him beside me … and that I can’t wait until I see him again later today?! I love this guy dangerously much, I tell you!
Speaking of love, they spoke about a poll on the radio the other day in which a number of people had been asked if they loved their partners, and an alarmingly large number had replied that they did not, or that they did not know. I don’t remember the exact numbers now and I can’t seem to find any article about it on the Internet (maybe I just suck at googling?) but I think it was only something like 50% who actually said that “yes, I love my partner”. Now, isn’t that just too sad? I wonder if people just don’t recognize what they’re feeling as love, or if people truly stick with people they don’t love out of other reasons?
Thursday, 3. December 2009, 18:43:01
A, feelings, shopping, sleep
...
Three days into December and the morning’s cold and frost has turned into rain this evening. I think it is to accompany me in my loneliness, as rain running down the window somehow draws a picture of being lonely and I am home alone tonight. A. is having some male friends over at his place, at what is commonly known as a “herrmiddag” (gentlemen’s dinner?) and I admit to feeling a bit abandoned. I’ve grown way too used to having him around at night to feel comfortable when he’s not here. It won’t be half as pleasant going to bed tonight, and sad to wake up alone in the morning … but at least I know that he’ll be back tomorrow
I can’t wait. I’m not going to deny that I am addicted to my sweetheart … those who have a problem with that should probably read some other blog 
I guess that the fact that I managed to fall asleep for almost two hours in the evening won’t exactly make it easier to fall asleep tonight, though. Would’ve been a much better idea to have made sure that I was totally wasted and just collapsed, not thinking about the fact that honey isn’t here … but the nap in itself was good, of course. And I was mighty tired from being in town for five hours with Sofus today. We wanted to get all our Christmas gifts, but of course we did not manage to make that come true … we only got stuff for dad and our aunt. I guess that’s better than nothing, though. I did not manage to find anything for A., sadly. That’ll definitely be the hardest gift to find this year!
I got myself a new pillow today, and I hope that it will help me sleep better. It’s one of those pillows that are supposed to give extra stabilisation to the neck and shoulder area … I have a feeling that it won’t make much effect on it’s own though, but need to be combined with a new mattress … the one I have is, as I’ve probably mentioned before, way too soft. I sometimes seriously consider sleeping on the floor instead … some nights when I wake up with aching back I’d say that the only thing that stops me from that is that I want to stay beside A. So perhaps I will end up on the floor tonight? We’ll see about that! It was very cosy to not have to abandon him at five twenty this morning but actually stay in bed until after he had left home, I tell you
Especially when he hugged me tight and told me how happy he was that I was still there 
Wednesday, 2. December 2009, 20:26:12
frost, love, A, feelings
...
It’s the second day of December, the moon is full and the cold lingers … it was -5 degrees when I left home this morning, and even though it was really dark, I could still see hints of glistening frost in the lamp lights, and it was very beautiful … not to mention how pretty the world was later, when the sun was up. I don’t see much of the outside world from where I work, but I saw it at lunch, when H. and I went for a short walk, just to feel the cold, crisp air and the sun on our skin for just a few minutes. The surroundings of our workplace don’t exactly inspire long walks, but … there are some little treasures of beauty even there … such as the field of high 
grass that was glistening so beautifully outside the window of the room where we eat our lunch if we stay in the building … Frost makes the world so beautiful one could almost cry! It puts a shimmer to the world, much like love does…
… and I truly wish that I could put into words the way it makes me feel inside when A. smiles at me. But perhaps it is good that I can’t. Perhaps some things should not be explained or put down in writing, but just felt and experienced and enjoyed? And I just love the way he always makes me laugh. That’s definitely one of the things about him that I fell for … It’s a really good quality in a person, that they are able to make you laugh, no? I found some old e-mails in my account at work today, where I had written to C. about him when we had just met … and I kept saying how charming he was
And that he is. When you think about it, the way my life is now … seven months ago I would never have imagined that I could be this happy … I w as seriously wondering if I would be alone forever … I was seeing horror scenarios in my head of lonely Christmases and holidays in the future … of being lonely and bitter and miserable. That could still happen, of course, but … at least it seems less likely now 
This said, I’ve been to French class tonight. It was the second last lesson for this semester, and we’re into the last chapter of the current text book. It’s been quite an intense semester, and the last few weeks we’ve learnt passé composé, imparfait and future tenses … it’s all getting a bit tangled up in our heads, I tell you … but I’d say we’re doing progress. There is so much difference between this class and the one I was in last year! Here everyone is focused on learning and seem to have done their homework each week, asking relevant questions etc. I am so glad that I changed classes! Not only because I prefer going on Wednesdays when A. works late anyway
Speaking of which, I hope he comes home soon! Can’t help but worry a bit about him, since it’s so cold and he still doesn’t have winter tyres on his car … and I long for his embrace! *in love*
Tuesday, 1. December 2009, 13:42:26
training, life, fatigue, A
...
It’s the first of December and it has finally stopped raining! Let’s hope that it stays that way. This morning the temperature was slightly below zero when I headed for work. It was cold and dark and all that, but it still felt better than a sky filled with clouds and rain, rain, rain! Instead I could see a beautiful moon. And I wasn’t half as tired as yesterday, as I had also slept rather well tonight. I really do have to do something about my bed though … and about the fact that I don’t do enough physical exercises, but spend way too much time on the couch, just cuddling with my
sweetheart. Cuddling is very good for your soul, but I do think that most of us [need to be a bit more active than that. Last night we did not collapse on the sofa until nine, when CSI was on, as we had been doing laundry and been out hunting for a cute pink mini-pc (A. has made me really desire one of those!) and … well … I slept through most of the night, only waking slightly before the alarm went off, and my back wasn’t aching as much as it usually does …
And today the papers talk about some scientists who have concluded that exercise makes us smarter … so there is another reason for not being a couch potato! How come I still don’t feel like going to the gym? I’d much rather go home and play Super Mario Wii
It is so much fun! I SHOULD try to go to the gym today, or at least do some training with Wii Active or something … but who knows? I am very good at not being good, after all :S But perhaps the best idea of all would be to go for a walk … as one should really enjoy the good weather while it lasts. God knows that we haven’t seen much of the sun lately!
I recently started following another blog, called “Farmorsbloggen” (≈Grandma’s blog), and apparently she posts questions twice a week … questions meant to make people contemplate their lives etc. I like the idea, even though I am not always sure that too much contemplation is good. I suppose that it depends on what kind of contemplation you get yourself into … I have a feeling that these questions are meant to induce positive thoughts, not negative ones … Anyway, the last question she posted was “What will you have achieved at this time next year?”, and she’d gotten a rather funny comment from a guy saying that he would be able to bake a certain cake without recipe
I suppose that we all have different goals in life, huh? Personally, I suppose that I’d like to be happy. To love myself. To not think “I can’t do that” about most things. And of course I’d like to be training regularly, to be fluent in French (or at least better!), to have done some interesting travelling … And I hope that A. and I will have found some cozy place where we can live together “for real”. Not that I mind the way we live together now, but it’s less fun for him, as my apartment isn’t exactly his home. It’s kind of scary to think about moving in together, but … exciting too
I don’t think it can be said enough; he makes me so happy! I suppose that there is one more thing I should try to achieve … being more tidy. I desperately wish that I could make myself put away stuff after I used it, hang clothes back into the wardrobe after I’ve worn them etc. but it seems impossible for me. Are we born with sense of order, or is it something that we acquire when we grow up, I wonder? I sometimes wonder if it isn’t controlled by some gene …a gene that I don’t have.
Friday, 20. November 2009, 10:23:05
thoughts, internet, darkness, opera
...
It’s weird how I think about blogging pretty much every day, but never get around to it. It’s tempting to say that I don’t have time for it, but that’s only partly true. It’s not like I don’t waste any time online … I should be blogging instead of playing FarmVille, for example. FarmVille is oddly addictive, though. I can’t for the life of me say what makes one stick to it, and I never thought that I would get caught when my sister sent me an invite as she needed more neighbours, but … I got hooked. I guess that it might be partly because my former addiction, FluffFriends, don’t work very well anymore … it’s too slow to be any fun at all, even though I love the cute critters there. Hm, but it’s not like FarmVille is without bugs. In fact, the whole of FaceBook drives me crazy right now, with everything that goes wrong all the time … not to mention the fact that the network at work really suck and kicks one out all the time. I realize that giving us Internet access for leisure isn’t a priority, but also the programs we use for work itself load and work extremely slowly and tend to bug … annoying, to say the least!
Today we have a bit of sunshine in Göteborg, but there sure hasn’t been a lot of that lately. They said on the news today that we’ve had 3,3 hours of sunshine in the whole of November … Is it any wonder that people feel tired and depressed? I really shouldn’t blog today, as that is what I feel, and considering my low amount of entries these days, it’s kind of sad if I write a negative one when my life in general is positive and I feel good most of the time. However, today I feel low. I can’t really put my finger on it, but the feeling hit me some time last night, and now it won’t let go. I just feel small and insignificant … and I am so tired. I hardly slept at all tonight, and when I did, I slept badly. I had a hard time falling asleep, as those dark feelings had taken a hold of me, and when I finally did, I dreamt that I was moving into a small, damp, lonely and cramped space that looked a lot like the room where I park my bike at home. A small, concrete room … and I had to try to squeeze some things in there … and I felt so utterly lonely. So I woke with that feeling, and my back was aching so much and I felt so uncomfortable both in flesh and mind that I couldn’t get back to sleep … Argh! I hate nights like this. They don’t come often anymore, though … thanks to my sweetheart. Him putting his arms around me in the morning, holding me tight and telling me that he wanted me to stay there with him instead of going to work made me feel a bit better, but … I still feel … I don’t know. Small.
There is a commercial whose jingle everyone sings around here, especially on Fridays … it talks about making Fridays cosy (“fredagsmys”) … but, seriously, why should we just be cosy and snuggle and enjoy ourselves on Fridays? A. and I decided against that, and have been talking about “onsdagsmys”, “torsdagsmys” etc. I suppose that noone will be surprised if I say that we belive in cuddling and trying to make the evening cosy every day, and not just on Fridays?!
In general I think that people focus too much on the weekends. I mean, it’s nice to have two full days off, not having to get up early and all that … but it’s sad when people seem to live only for the weekends, making the other five days not really count … like they are insignificant and just a piece of road that you need to travel to get to your goal, while every day should be a goal in itself, right? It’s sad if we only two out of seven days a week, right? That would, after all, mean that we spend 71,5 % of our lives longing for the other 28,5%. Hm. This said, the commercial is for snacks, such as crisps … so you’re not supposed to be healthy while cuddling
Me, I certainly prefer a nice dinner and then a cup of tea with cookies. What about you?
(And the Opera editing tools still don't work for me - what is up with this site?
)
Monday, 9. November 2009, 19:06:02
movies, love, opera, A
...
I’ve grown tired of trying to be useful now … it's to no use anyway. I tried to do some tidying, and the result was pretty much the usual one, which means that there is next to no difference at all. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn't turn out very tasty at all … and having to eat it alone did not make it better. Eating alone sucks … especially when the food is no good. But A. is visiting his parents tonight, so I had no choice but to eat alone. To not eat at
all isn't exactly an option. I just hope that he doesn't come home too late, as I really miss his arms around me, and also it's nice to see a bit of him before going to bed, if you know what I mean? It's nice to do a bit more than just sleep together, even if that is nice enough.
He met my parents for the first time yesterday
And I suppose that it went well … I never really thought that it wouldn't. It's not like my parents would have any reason to dislike him … and my parents are rather easy-going, so … But still, it's not like my parents have ever been in this situation before, so who could tell? Hihi. Like my sister said, I don't think there was any matter of them checking him out to see if he's okay … I think they figured that out already … if not by the fact that I am crazy about him, so by the fact that my sister approves of him
And mom had cooked a delicious dinner, as always!
The whole weekend was very grey weatherwise, and we were rather lazy. Watched movies, snuggled, went to a birthday party for his niece (she turned seven), went for coffee and a short walk in the botanic garden … and not much more than that. As for the movie watching, on Friday night A. did most of it on his own (he watched “Poseidon”) as I fell asleep on the couch. I was very tired after a busy day at work and an early morning, and having a glass of wine at dinner didn't help
They also showed “True lies” on TV, a movie that I enjoy a lot, but I was really too tired to stay up to watch it. We did watch a couple of movies that I actually saw too, “Rallybrudar” and “The mummy: The tomb of the dragon emperor” … It was perfect weather of that kind of activity … the sky was so grey and it never really grew light even during the day. Depressing really … true November weather … I hate this month! It's the worst of the year, I think. It's a good thing that I have someone who brightens it up for me.
My sister found the coolest t-shirt on Sweden Rock Shop today … another Cookie monster one. Unfortunately they only have it in men's sizes - so unfair! There was also a really, really cool one with the A-team, that I would've wanted to have … but I am way too small to be able to buy anything that is not sold in girl sizes. This said, I wonder what on Earth I should get A. for Christmas … and he's already been bugging me for a while about what I want … but I really don't know! I really wouldn't lie if I said that all I really want for Christmas is him … I don't really need anything else
It might sound cheesy, but … it's true.
I'm listening to beautiful love songs here, so who can really blame me if I go all cheesy? (Even though I really don't the fact that we end up calling anything that is cute or romantic or something like that “cheesy”, it's kind of sad, no?) … “I am complete now that I found you” I hear Savage Garden singing … that is how I feel. And A. often tells me that I complete him, so … It's such a lovely feeling. I am so lucky to have found this beautiful, lovely guy to share my life!
PS. Would anyone care to tell me why the My Opera editing tools won't work anymore when I use Internet Explorer? I've never had any problems with it before, but now nothing happens when I click the buttons
Is this a trick to force me to use Opera? Firefox worked a bit better than IE the other day when I tried it, but ... not perfectly either, as the codes kept ending up at the end of the entry, no matter where I wanted to place them ... *annoyed*
Wednesday, 4. November 2009, 20:00:48
winnerbäck, love, A, time
...
Ha! I just realized - when looking backwards in the blog - that today it’s five months to the day since A. and I kissed for the first time! Oh my God! That really feels a long time ago now … and I’ve grown so used to having him in my life that it’s almost scary. I am still thankful for it
every day, though … and I think that the most amazing thing is that I actually dare believe that he feels the same way. He often tells me that I complete him … and yesterday he wrote me that I am the best thing in his life. He makes me so happy! And I love him so much!
It feels like it's dark and cold outside all of the time now, and we talk a lot about going into hibernation. Building a little nest, cuddling up close to one another and just sleep the cold, dark period away … But, of course, we can’t do that … It’s sort of depressing though, how it’s dark all the time. We’re entering the period when it’s dark when I go to work and dark when I get home, and I hate it. Sure, it’s cosy to be able to light candles and all that … but one can do that later in the evening … one does NOT want to do that at five o’clock!
This said, I like being back on standard time, even though it made the afternoons darker … My inner clock is definitely working on standard time, not Daylight Saving Time. I felt a huge difference when we changed back to standard time, really. It’s not like I jump out of bed in the morning, but I don’t feel as dead tired as I do during the DST period … not even when I get up slightly after five. I don’t really see the point of DST, and I know that I am not the only one … why can’t we just abolish it? It feels even more stupid since not all countries have it, and those who do don’t even change at the same time. Standard time all year around, that would be my wish!
I’ve been sleeping really badly the last couple of nights and someone suggested that it might be due to there being a full moon outside. I know that many people find their sleep being affected by the full moon, but I have never noticed it being this way for me … I wonder if it could have anything to do with it, or if it’s just a coincidence?! I hope that I will sleep better tonight, ‘cause one really needs sleep! It was blowing very heavily tonight too, which didn’t exactly help. As I was trying to fall back into sleep (I woke up time after time, perhaps once every hour) I kept thinking of how
unpleasant it would be to go out this morning if there was a storm … I’ve had really weird dreams lately too … Most of the time I can’t remember them once I wake up, I just have a feeling of discomfort inside, you know?
Saturday, A. and I saw Winnerbäck in concert at Lisebergshallen and it was great! Music gets so much more three-dimensional when you hear it in concert … I don’t really know how to describe the feeling … it’s like you get to be one with the music, somehow … it overwhelms you and sort of captures you in a little capsule for a while, where it’s just you and the music and your feelings, somehow. When he performed "Jag har väntat på ett regn" my eyes actually flooded with tears … That song really, really hurts. It was a great deal of luck that I had A.’s arms around me, or I would probably have broken down totally. I don’t think that he realized that I was in pain, but that doesn’t matter … the pain is mostly old … and him being there meant so much. The songs from the “Daugava” album were definitely the ones that affected me most … “Om du lämnade mig nu” almost made me cry too … that being, I guess, since it’s a song about parting from someone that you love/have loved and I sort of imagined what it would feel like if A. left me. I don’t know if I would’ve survived that. I listened to this album a lot during a period when my soul was very much in pain, I guess that leaves its marks, eh?
Friday, 16. October 2009, 14:44:30
love, A, gifts, travelling
...
There’s been a lot lately that I should’ve blogged about, but I never seem to get around to it. In most ways I guess that it’s a positive thing … that I have other things to do than sit by the computer, pouring my heart out over the internet, but … I also know myself, and that I will regret later on all the things
that I did not put down on paper. I regret that already about the first dates with A. for example … the fact that I only mentioned our first date as “went out for coffee with the HP guy” or something similar … Knowing how it turned out, of course I wish that I had written down my first impression of him and all that … not to mention all the little things and all the feelings since that day! It’s kind of sad that the happy moments will be sort of forgotten, while the sad moments of my life will forever be remembered as they are saved in a million words in my blogs and diaries …
Wednesday it was five months since that first time A. and I met at Le Pain Français, and I don’t think that I have to tell you that I am very, very happy that it did not end with just that one time and that I now have a place in his heart, as well as he has in mine. I don’t think he was aware of the date exactly, but I am pretty sure that it made him very happy when I left him a cute little plant with heart decorations and some heart shaped chocolates and a sweet card on the table that morning. Along with all the other things I am happy about, I am glad that I’ve found a guy who actually appreciates this kind of thing, and also makes the same kind of gestures without being forced by it being Valentine’s day or something of the kind … Know what I mean? We still leave each other loving notes every day, and it makes me smile and warm at heart every time I get home from work and get to read his sweet words.
And yesterday morning he had left the sweetest little gift on the table for me (he had gotten home very late on Wednesday night, after I had fallen asleep) - a heart-shaped silver locket with one picture of him and one picture of the two of us together inside. I think it must be the loveliest gift I have ever received! But the greatest gift is, of course, the fact that he is in my life, that I get to fall asleep and wake up beside him … and all the hugs and kisses … and his heart. I dare believe that it’s mine. At least he tells me so
Did I ever mention that I love this guy to bits?
And our trip to Paris was so lovely! I should really try to write an entry about that one of these days. I wish we could go back. Now. Those were definitely some of the best days of my life! But life has its ups and downs and sometimes not even the love of a wonderful creature like A. can keep a girl like me on the right track … Last week I had some days where I felt so broken inside that I could hardly keep from crying … it felt like I was going to explode from a pain deep, deep inside that I could not define, but that hurt so badly that my eyes were constantly on the verge of flooding and there was a knot so hard in my throat that I could hardly breathe … The feelings that I get when I feel like that aren’t pretty, so I really don’t want to talk about them now … mostly because I am afraid of them resurfacing. I have, however, been okay since sometime Monday night. Don’t ask me why … but I do believe that parts of the reason why I was feeling so extremely broken was that it was very stressful at work combined with the fact that A. worked so much I hardly saw him at all, except for bed-time. Not to mention the fact that one evening he scared the heart out of me by saying he’d work overtime but probably not too late, only to come home around ten pm, not having sent any messages or anything. I was so afraid that something had happened to him that I broke down and cried, calling my sister, asking her hysterically “what do I do if he does not come home?” and stuff like that … Let’s just say that I broke down again when he did come home, and I cried hysterically in his arms for quite a long time. I think that next time he’ll tell me when he does not come home (IF he does not get caught up in his work and doesn’t realize that time flies, I guess *sigh*). It seemed like the idea that someone might worry about him hadn’t even crossed his mind, and he was very regretful. Oh my God, how he scared me! My heart almost beats faster even now when I think about it. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him!
This said, I hope he comes home soon. I look forward to cooking with him, eating with him, cuddling with him all night … and I definitely look forward to not having to get up early tomorrow and leave him here in the warm, cosy bed while I bike out into the darkness and cold … It breaks my heart every morning, I tell you!
Wednesday, 7. October 2009, 04:29:44
sports, A, pain
Sports are dangerous, that’s what I’ve always said! A. took me to a hockey game yesterday. It was the first time ever that I saw hockey live, and it was an interesting experience … both the players and the rink looked a lot smaller than they do on TV somehow … but a rather painful one too. A. looked very amused when I said I would hide if the puck got anywhere near where we sat, as he claimed that
was not going to happen … but only a couple of minutes after the game started I suddenly feel something hitting my left knee really hard, and guess what it was? Yes! The puck! I suppose I should just be glad that it did not hit my head … As it was, I wasn’t badly injured or anything, but it hurt a lot, I tell you. I was handed an ice-bag to put on my knee by some friendly man, who kept telling me I would be alright and that it would be a good story to tell my grandchildren, or something like that. And I got to keep the puck, which according to A. was a big deal, as the official game pucks aren’t supposed to leave the arena and are usually taken back by the staff if they end up outside the rink … but since I am not really a major hockey freak, I didn’t exactly care about that. I was just scared and in pain and wanted to hide in A.’s arms for a while … He was very sweet, of course, holding me, kissing me, asking me if I wanted to leave etc. So, my first hockey experience wasn’t exactly a positive one. Especially since we’d been stressing A LOT to get there on time too … I think that sometimes my sweetheart is just a bit too optimistic when it comes to time! The game was Frölunda vs Luleå, and we were supporting Frölunda, of course (they’re from GBG), even though I can’t really say that I personally was THAT passionate. I never really cared much for national hockey, but I guess it can be interesting if you do put your heart into it
However, to the great disappointment of my sweetie, Luleå won 6 to 2. A. promised me that next time we’ll get seats behind the safety net
That seems to be a good idea … This said, my knee isn’t even black and blue today, so I can’t show it off to anyone, telling my painful story. It’s just a little bit red and swollen … but it does hurt, though. I’m sure that if it had been my sister, she’d have a gigantic bruise to show … I suppose that I must invite a lot of hockey fans to my home now, to show off my trophy puck then
Like I said, apparently having one of those is a big deal! *shrugs*
(Written on Tuesday 091006 - is there no way to backdate entries on My Opera?)
Thursday, 24. September 2009, 17:44:14
movies, fatigue, tv, packing
...
I’m so tired! And it feels like I am coming down with a cold! That can’t be … I must find my way out of it somehow (I’ve been suggested vitamins, whiskey with honey, vodka and God knows what) ‘cause I really can’t get sick right now! And I am already so sick of the darkness that comes with this time of year … it’s pitch black when I go to work in the mornings now (I start work at 6:30 this week) and it is so depressing. Especially when it’s wet and windy like this morning. Right now I feel that all that keeps me up is the thought of vacation … Both A. and I seem to focus on that a lot right now … This morning I told him “one week from now we will wake up in Paris”, which made him smile … and he said that will be his birthday and that he wants a muffin with a candle in the morning. I wonder if I can fix that. I will do my best
He did NOT want 30 candles though 
This said, I asked my colleague if it would be okay for me to come in a bit later tomorrow, and she said yes. Yay! I did not feel tempted by the idea of getting up around five, then work all day and do conference stuff/party all evening. I haven’t decided yet how much time I will take off tomorrow, but my colleague said it would be okay either way. Maybe I will sleep long enough for A. to get up, so he could drive me to work? He asked me if I wanted him to do that yesterday, but did not look so tempted when I said I still meant to be at work at 7:30 … but perhaps if I go a bit later
It doesn’t make that much difference at work, I think, and I really feel in need of some sleep and a good snuggle. The idea of sleeping without my sweetie for two nights now is a bit scary! Like I’ve said before – it’s uncanny how fast one can grow accustomed and addicted to something/someone.
Speaking of addictions … yesterday I watched an episode of “Buffy the vampire slayer”. I think it must have been about four months since I last watched her. I guess that addiction was just a reaction to not having any more interesting addiction (read “crush”)in my life … Can’t say I felt as into it all now, but it was still entertaining. Otherwise, yesterday was the first day of the new semester at French, and I’d say it went well … The new teacher (Martine) seems nice, the people more motivated than my last group and … I don’t think I’ll fail entirely when it comes to catching up. We were a mix of people who were new to this particular group and who’d been there for a while, so it was okay. I was not the only new one! And I like the fact that these people seemed a bit more ambitious than some of the people in my own group who after two semesters still couldn’t recall the present tense forms of être and avoir. For practice I watched a French film the other night, as I was waiting for A. to come home from his parents’ place. I wonder why all French films seem to be depressing … This was a thriller called “Le serpent” and I’d say it was rather good, but … like I said, sort of depressing. Everything just turned from bad to worse all the time. The ending did have a touch of Hollywood though. Can’t say I caught much of the spoken French though … they speak so fast and bind the words together so much that it’s almost impossible to recognize even a single word. I wonder if I will ever be able to understand spoken French *sigh*
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I've packed my bag now. At least I hope that I've packed what I need. It's so hard! And I want to bring a small bag, so it's hard to fit everything ... especially shoes. A. says he plans to travel only with cabin luggage when we go to Paris ... I don't think that I can do that. After all, one can't bring all the necessities in the make-up kit in your handbag anymore, due to the safety regulations ... I've really stressed at lot since I got home, making dinner (roast beef and a kind of potato salad - it turned out yummy!), taking a bath, trying to figure out what to pack etc. Now I just want to collapse in the sofa with my sweetheart and cuddle ... So I think that I will go for that!
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