I’ve grown tired of trying to be useful now … it's to no use anyway. I tried to do some tidying, and the result was pretty much the usual one, which means that there is next to no difference at all. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn't turn out very tasty at all … and having to eat it alone did not make it better. Eating alone sucks … especially when the food is no good. But A. is visiting his parents tonight, so I had no choice but to eat alone. To not eat at all isn't exactly an option. I just hope that he doesn't come home too late, as I really miss his arms around me, and also it's nice to see a bit of him before going to bed, if you know what I mean? It's nice to do a bit more than just sleep together, even if that is nice enough.
He met my parents for the first time yesterday And I suppose that it went well … I never really thought that it wouldn't. It's not like my parents would have any reason to dislike him … and my parents are rather easy-going, so … But still, it's not like my parents have ever been in this situation before, so who could tell? Hihi. Like my sister said, I don't think there was any matter of them checking him out to see if he's okay … I think they figured that out already … if not by the fact that I am crazy about him, so by the fact that my sister approves of him And mom had cooked a delicious dinner, as always!
The whole weekend was very grey weatherwise, and we were rather lazy. Watched movies, snuggled, went to a birthday party for his niece (she turned seven), went for coffee and a short walk in the botanic garden … and not much more than that. As for the movie watching, on Friday night A. did most of it on his own (he watched “Poseidon”) as I fell asleep on the couch. I was very tired after a busy day at work and an early morning, and having a glass of wine at dinner didn't help They also showed “True lies” on TV, a movie that I enjoy a lot, but I was really too tired to stay up to watch it. We did watch a couple of movies that I actually saw too, “Rallybrudar” and “The mummy: The tomb of the dragon emperor” … It was perfect weather of that kind of activity … the sky was so grey and it never really grew light even during the day. Depressing really … true November weather … I hate this month! It's the worst of the year, I think. It's a good thing that I have someone who brightens it up for me.
My sister found the coolest t-shirt on Sweden Rock Shop today … another Cookie monster one. Unfortunately they only have it in men's sizes - so unfair! There was also a really, really cool one with the A-team, that I would've wanted to have … but I am way too small to be able to buy anything that is not sold in girl sizes. This said, I wonder what on Earth I should get A. for Christmas … and he's already been bugging me for a while about what I want … but I really don't know! I really wouldn't lie if I said that all I really want for Christmas is him … I don't really need anything else It might sound cheesy, but … it's true.
I'm listening to beautiful love songs here, so who can really blame me if I go all cheesy? (Even though I really don't the fact that we end up calling anything that is cute or romantic or something like that “cheesy”, it's kind of sad, no?) … “I am complete now that I found you” I hear Savage Garden singing … that is how I feel. And A. often tells me that I complete him, so … It's such a lovely feeling. I am so lucky to have found this beautiful, lovely guy to share my life!
PS. Would anyone care to tell me why the My Opera editing tools won't work anymore when I use Internet Explorer? I've never had any problems with it before, but now nothing happens when I click the buttons Is this a trick to force me to use Opera? Firefox worked a bit better than IE the other day when I tried it, but ... not perfectly either, as the codes kept ending up at the end of the entry, no matter where I wanted to place them ... *annoyed*
I’m so tired! And it feels like I am coming down with a cold! That can’t be … I must find my way out of it somehow (I’ve been suggested vitamins, whiskey with honey, vodka and God knows what) ‘cause I really can’t get sick right now! And I am already so sick of the darkness that comes with this time of year … it’s pitch black when I go to work in the mornings now (I start work at 6:30 this week) and it is so depressing. Especially when it’s wet and windy like this morning. Right now I feel that all that keeps me up is the thought of vacation … Both A. and I seem to focus on that a lot right now … This morning I told him “one week from now we will wake up in Paris”, which made him smile … and he said that will be his birthday and that he wants a muffin with a candle in the morning. I wonder if I can fix that. I will do my best He did NOT want 30 candles though
This said, I asked my colleague if it would be okay for me to come in a bit later tomorrow, and she said yes. Yay! I did not feel tempted by the idea of getting up around five, then work all day and do conference stuff/party all evening. I haven’t decided yet how much time I will take off tomorrow, but my colleague said it would be okay either way. Maybe I will sleep long enough for A. to get up, so he could drive me to work? He asked me if I wanted him to do that yesterday, but did not look so tempted when I said I still meant to be at work at 7:30 … but perhaps if I go a bit later It doesn’t make that much difference at work, I think, and I really feel in need of some sleep and a good snuggle. The idea of sleeping without my sweetie for two nights now is a bit scary! Like I’ve said before – it’s uncanny how fast one can grow accustomed and addicted to something/someone.
Speaking of addictions … yesterday I watched an episode of “Buffy the vampire slayer”. I think it must have been about four months since I last watched her. I guess that addiction was just a reaction to not having any more interesting addiction (read “crush”)in my life … Can’t say I felt as into it all now, but it was still entertaining. Otherwise, yesterday was the first day of the new semester at French, and I’d say it went well … The new teacher (Martine) seems nice, the people more motivated than my last group and … I don’t think I’ll fail entirely when it comes to catching up. We were a mix of people who were new to this particular group and who’d been there for a while, so it was okay. I was not the only new one! And I like the fact that these people seemed a bit more ambitious than some of the people in my own group who after two semesters still couldn’t recall the present tense forms of être and avoir. For practice I watched a French film the other night, as I was waiting for A. to come home from his parents’ place. I wonder why all French films seem to be depressing … This was a thriller called “Le serpent” and I’d say it was rather good, but … like I said, sort of depressing. Everything just turned from bad to worse all the time. The ending did have a touch of Hollywood though. Can’t say I caught much of the spoken French though … they speak so fast and bind the words together so much that it’s almost impossible to recognize even a single word. I wonder if I will ever be able to understand spoken French *sigh*
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I've packed my bag now. At least I hope that I've packed what I need. It's so hard! And I want to bring a small bag, so it's hard to fit everything ... especially shoes. A. says he plans to travel only with cabin luggage when we go to Paris ... I don't think that I can do that. After all, one can't bring all the necessities in the make-up kit in your handbag anymore, due to the safety regulations ... I've really stressed at lot since I got home, making dinner (roast beef and a kind of potato salad - it turned out yummy!), taking a bath, trying to figure out what to pack etc. Now I just want to collapse in the sofa with my sweetheart and cuddle ... So I think that I will go for that!
I’ve been trying to study some French, as I still have a bit left to catch up before starting with the new group on Wednesday … but my head is sort of tired, and I don’t know if anything really sticks. I think I will do okay, though. I have just read a text about taking the metro in Paris … I wonder if A. and I will dare to do that when we’re there. If I understand things correctly, that’s the best way to get around … but metros sort of scare me. Whenever one sees them on TV and in movies, they always seem over-crowded and if there is something I don’t like, then it’s getting stuck in a crowd … especially in a cramped space like that. We don’t have a metro in GBG, so I am not used to it … Somehow I feel more comfortable with transportation over ground
I’m listening to the new Lars Winnerbäck album, that I got today. It’s hard to say yet what I think of it, but it’s not bad, at least. On the first listening there was no song that stuck with me particularly, but that might happen still, I guess. I will try to listen to it as much as possible before the concert, as it’s likely he will play a lot of songs from it, and it’s always nice to know the songs well when in concert.
Well, my head might be tired today, but it’s a lot better than yesterday. I don’t know what was the matter, but I pretty much felt like I had been out partying all night. I was wasted all day. The fact that I fell asleep on the sofa after we’d had breakfast and watched an episode of “MacGyver” didn’t exactly help, of course … I felt a bit sorry for A., cause I suspect that I was not the most interesting company yesterday … but I think he did alright. We went to the movies and saw “Flickan som lekte med elden” (The girl who played with fire - the second movie based on the “Millennium” books by Stieg Larsson) and I’d say that it was rather good. I haven’t read the book, so I can’t compare which one is better And I’d say we were rather stressed out on our way to the movies, as we got stuck in traffic on the way into town and then, when we had finally parked and managed to get something to eat at McDonald’s, we realized that we were by the wrong cinema. We were by Bergakungen but our tickets were for Biopalatset … but well, we actually only missed the first minute or so of the movie, which is quite impressive. I don’t even think that A. broke any traffic regulations on the way
Anyway, the dinner with his parents the other night went just fine. Of course, I had nothing to worry about, and I felt rather silly afterwards for all my fears. Well, I don’t know what they thought of me, of course, but I have no real reason to feel worried. I don’t think that I made a fool of myself, and I might not had been very talkative, but I wasn’t all quiet either. In truth, A. talks so much that awkward silences aren’t very likely to happen in his company We had a lovely dinner at Il Gambero and I hope that they thought that I was okay. At least I thought that they were both very sweet … I didn’t, of course, but I felt very tempted to thank them heartly for the fact that A. exists. I’m so glad that he does, and I am so glad that he’s part of my life … and happy that he seems as happy to have me in his life. And I am so much looking forward to our trip to Paris!!! I really can’t believe that I am going to Paris with the cutest guy ever! It must be a dream!
Some time ago I stumbled across a website called MyLifeIsG – Life rocks today, and I think that the idea of it is nice. We really should try to focus more on the good in life, no? Why is it so much easier to focus on what’s wrong and bad? I don’t know. And why does it always seem a bit “fake” and a bit “too much” when people state what they’re happy about? I remember when I first discovered this site and told a friend about it, and his reaction was something like that … that it all felt a bit fake. I don’t remember his exact words now, but it was something like that. It’s a bit like it is with poetry … I think that is why one seldom writes “happy” poetry … because the words one finds to describe it always feels a bit cliché … a bit too glossy … I don’t know how to describe it, but something like that. Just like it often sounds a bit too sweet when you try to express your feelings for your loved one … sweet remarks often end up feeling a bit cheesy, if you know what I mean? Why is that?
My life IS good. A. and I booked our trip to Paris yesterday! It’s really amazing … a dream come true! We’re leaving Göteborg in the evening of September 30th, and returning home midday on October 4th & I am certain that we’ll have a wonderful time! To be honest I don’t think I will be able to believe that it’s true until we’re actually there. A. asked me last night if I remembered what I had written on my page on HappyPancake … Of course I remember … I said I was looking for someone special to go to Paris with And now that very thing is coming true and we agreed on this being very cool. Our original plan was to leave Sweden on Thursday (A.’s birthday) but there really weren’t any good flights left (only ones that arrived very late in the evening, and we did not feel like losing an entire day in Paris) so finally A. had the brilliant idea of checking what would happen if we left the evening before instead … That way we arrive in Paris at a more decent hour in the evening, gain a day in the city, and get one more hotel night – at a prize that was only marginally higher than it would’ve been if we’d left Thursday. Yay!
We went to the movies yesterday, and saw ”Beck - I stormens öga”. It had gotten a rather bad review in GöteborgsPosten (our local paper), but I’d say it was rather good. I don’t watch Swedish movies much, and I actually think that this might be the first time ever that I saw a full Beck movie, even though I’ve caught parts of the older ones on TV. I guess that I am a very bad Swede, as I generally don’t watch Swedish movies nor read Swedish books.
This morning I got to sleep in a bit, as the plumber was coming over at eight. I didn’t exactly argue with him about coming this morning rather than having to try to squeeze it into his busy schedule yesterday afternoon … Sleeping for two more hours than I would’ve otherwise done suited me just fine, I admit … and it felt very nice to wake up beside A. and not being in such a rush to leave as I usually am, being able to have breakfast together and taking it fairly easy. I could get used to that! But considering we have very different work schedules, that’s not going to happen. Anyway, it’s a good thing that the drain is fixed too The plumber also noticed that the tap part of my bath tub is hanging a bit loose (think it’s been that way since I moved in) and said he’d come back next week to fix it. So perhaps I’ll be able to sleep in another morning. Sure, I will have to take those hours off from work, but … I don’t mind so much. I have quite a lot of time collected.
And yes, another piece of good news today - our workmate is now the proud father of a healthy baby boy! Think the birth was more than two weeks overdue and he has been waiting anxiously for the baby to come into the world … and we’re all very happy for the lucky parents!
I’ve very little to do at work, and it’s getting tiresome. I mean, for a few days one can stand to laze around, but in the long run it just gets boring ... and worrying, of course, as it’s not good that we have so little to do. It’s always like this in summer, though, so I guess that I am not all that surprised. It’s just a bit scary when you almost hope for a computer failure or some other “catastrophe”, just for something to do and deal with ... The days go by so slowly when you have nothing to do ... and it feels so pointless to drag yourself out of bed outrageously early in the morning when there isn’t much to do once you get to work. And even more so when there is a painfully cute and cuddly creature still snuggled up in your bed. God, I almost didn’t make it out of there this morning ... but I am not complaining. Waking up beside A. is b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l! And considering the dream I had tonight – woke up around 2 am, so tense that I could hardly straighten my fingers and arms and with a lump of tears in my throat – it was lucky that he was there! The dream being one that obviously stemmed out of fear of losing him, it was a lucky thing that he was there, and that he put his arms around me and kissed me, even though he had no idea I had had a bad dream and even less what it was about ...
We (Sofus, JoJo, Robin, Nina, Gavin,A. & I) went to see the new Harry Potter movie yesterday! We ate a bit at Danilo first, but due to the crazy weather and the difficulty to find parking spots, most of us were a bit stressed out ... but we were in good time for the movie, at least! I definitely think that one enjoys the movie more if one has not read the book! There was quite a lot missing, and especially about The Half-blood Prince, which felt kind of weird considering the movie’s title. But then again, I wonder if one really gets everything if one has not read the book?! It’s not that the movie was bad – I enjoyed it very much – but it could have been better ... I understand that it’s hard to get everything from the book into the movie, but it still felt like some things would’ve needed to be there ...
I will try to write a longer entry one of these days, but ... for now, here is my updated to do list I haven’t done all that I set out to do, but more than expected, really!
Larger grocery shopping
Look up new dinner recipes, perhaps make some kind of weekly menu
Call Poseidon about parking spot [the office only opens next week ...]
The sky is grey and it has been raining heavily for most of the day and evening … The weather seems sad. I feel sad, too. Or perhaps not sad, exactly … rather lost and small … and I hate myself for feeling this way. I hate myself for the lump of tears that is stuck in my throat and … I don’t know what to do. Don’t know what to do when tears flood my eyes even though I keep saying that A. makes me happier than I remember being. He does … and still he can’t save me from myself, from the mess I am inside and from my self-loathing. Well, he can … as long as he is with me, but … I need to survive also when he’s not … and tonight that feels so hard. And I hate myself for how that makes me doubt … everything … I thought that I had gotten somewhere, that I had left the worst feelings of worthlessness behind, that I actually started to believe that I am worth something, worth being loved … but it doesn’t seem that way. I know that most people fear losing the people they love, but I guess that it’s not really sane to fear losing them ‘cause they will figure out that you’re a useless loser … and once again, that is what I feel like. And once again I cry so that I can’t breathe … and I feel like a traitor. A traitor to all the people who care for me, when I don’t feel like they should.
I guess that my breaking down today is a somewhat belated reaction. I was close to doing so already yesterday, but A. saved me. I should probably have known better, but I went to the movies with Sofus and Gav and saw “The Proposal”. The film was really good, made me laugh out loud several times (which really doesn’t happen often) and was touching too … and a tad bit of sad for a while, of course … which made it sort of okay to sit there with flooding eyes … Sofus always cries at movies and she was sort of amused that I was crying too. Somehow I think she’d been less amused had she known the real reason for those tears. I don’t know what it is about this kind of movie, that makes most people feel good, that makes me break down, but it seems to happen every time and perhaps I should not have been surprised. Perhaps I thought that being happily in love for once would change it? I don’t know. Apparently it did not. Just like after watching “Mamma mia!” (to name one example) I was overcome with severe feelings of worthlessness, of being a pathetic little creep. The thing is that it took about two minutes of being around A. for those feelings to disappear. I can’t explain it, but he has a way of making me smile and laugh that is just amazing. But in a way I still regret not being able to tell him what’s on my mind or what is bothering me (he does ask sometimes) … It’s not that I don’t think that he would be great to talk to, ‘cause I am sure he would be … he seems to be a very compassionate soul … No, the problem is all in me, as always. I guess that I am still scared that he’d find me pathetic, just as I do myself. And yes, I know that nothing of this makes sense. Do fears ever make sense, I wonder? I am just too filled with fears … that is my main problem. I am afraid of almost everything, and those fears make me not do stuff and the not doing makes me feel like a total loser and feeling like a loser makes me feel more afraid and … there is that vicious circle again
Oh my God! I seriously wonder if the music of Marie Fredriksson shouldn’t come with a warning sign of some kind … It is truly too depressing! Especially the songs from her ”Den ständiga resan” album. Actually it’s the title song from that album that WMP found it fit to play me … and for some reason that particular song makes me want to break down and cry … but I will NOT do that! Especially since WMP already moved on to another song …
I’m otherwise not particularly sad, just tired. And still feeling somewhat peculiar in a way that I can’t describe … It’s not a feeling that I like, though. That feeling that I can’t put my finger on, that is. It seems to be a lurking one … God only knows what it might turn into. I am so not ready to fall into any abyss of dark thoughts and feelings at this point. I suppose that one never is, but … I’m just saying that I don’t want to go back there. I fear being thrown back into the feelings I had a year or two back. And it’s hard to ignore that fear.
I was listening to a song by Melanie C. earlier and these lyrics got caught in my head: ”… so I found the reason to let it go Tell you that I’m smilin', but I still need to grow Will I find salvation in the arms of love? Will it stop me searching? Will it be enough? I don't want your sympathy Sometimes I don't know who to be Hey, what you're looking' for? No one has the answer, do you just want more Hey who's gonna make it back? This could be the first day of my life The first time to really feel alive The first time to break the chain The first time to walk away from pain…” They spoke to me … you know, the hope to find salvation in love, the fear that it won’t be enough, the feeling of not knowing who to be … Life isn’t easy. Or do we just make it too complicated?
Anyway. Except for 45 minutes on the Wii fit, I’ve been rather lazy tonight. I think that I deserved it, after doing overtime Monday and going to the movies yesterday. Going to the movies is fun too, of course, but I really had to make an effort to drag myself out of the house yesterday, being as tired as I was … Tuesdays are usually the days in which I am the most tired throughout the week, don’t know why. I was mighty tired today too … but at least I haven’t napped! I ate a bit, and watched ”NCIS”, then cross-stitched while watching ”War & Peace” (both shows recorded yesterday). It’s hard not to be both amused and annoyed at those old-fashioned love-stories, like the one in ”War & Peace” … where people fall in love at first sight, knowing that they’ve found the person that they will love for life … and then, of course, life throws all kinds of obstacles in their way … even making them marry other people, for money or for convenience of some kind … but still they will always love that special person … and it’s almost always mutual … and if it isn’t mutual, somehow it still seems beautiful and poetic, whereas in real life it would be considered rather pathetic … But well, sigh, it’s always easy to love a dream, is it not?
As for the movie we saw yesterday, ”Coraline”, I’d say that its message was that we should appreciate what we have, and don’t believe that what looks perfect really is, if we take a look beneath the surface. And perhaps also that what we think we want isn’t always what we truly desire or need, in the end … I have a hard time making up my mind about what to say of the movie … it was enjoyable, and had some really good moments, but perhaps a bit too weird for my taste.
Hm, I wonder if I should try to go to bed early tonight? But it’s still light outside, of course …
I really should go to bed. I’ve been deadly tired all day, so why don’t I? Perhaps because my stomach is still too full after the lovely meal that we had at Cafè Caprese (and the candy I had at the cinema)? That’s a reason as good as any, I guess … I feel a bit sick, really. But that is definitely because of the candy, and not because of the food! I really should stop eating candy … but perhaps it’s better to keep that until after Easter. I don’t think it’s very likely that I will stick to such an intention anyway, but I am sure that I would not be able to during Easter. After all, Easter seems to be a lot about eating candy
We saw “Monsters vs. Aliens” at the cinema. In 3D. 3D is cool, but it’s very inconvenient to wear glasses when you have to wear those extra 3D ones to enjoy the film. Esp. since you can’t take them off, as the film gets all blurry without them. The film was really funny, and the creatures cute But it wouldn’t have been necessary to book the tickets in advance, really … there weren’t many people there. But that was probably because not a lot of people go to the cinema at 16:25 on a Wednesday, Easter break or not.
We didn’t exactly have the perfect day at work today, as it started with the computer program, that we use for pretty much everything, being dead. It didn’t work again until after 8am, and we started working 6:30 so it was quite a lousy morning, you can imagine. I think that we managed pretty well to catch up on work afterwards though. It’s so very typical … always when we’ve tried to make sure that we’re ahead of the schedule and stuff like that (since weeks with holidays in them always make trouble) something like this always happens to kick us back. It felt very unnecessary that I had dragged myself out of bed a quarter past five though, as I had pretty much nothing to do once I had arrived to work I had a language/grammar conversation with M. But in the end he pretty much just looked at me like he was thinking “what on Earth is she talking about?” People tend to do that when I get exited talking about languages … and I am not even that good at grammar myself!
(And hey, I saw Mr. Quiet smile today! Not at me, obviously … but I didn’t mind being around to see it. I can’t help it, I still find him irresistibly sexy )
I got notice in the mail today that I can pick my Wii up at the post office (eh, read “store”). I think it’s just the basic thing and the extra controls though, and that the Fit thing will arrive later, as it was not in stock when I ordered (I got an e-mail that said they had sent it today), but I guess that I will pick the parcel up anyway, as it’s probably easier to bring them home separately, considering I will have to take them on my bike. I doubt that I will have time to try it out before Easter though, as we’re going to the cottage …
I really should hit bed now and try to get some sleep, as I have another early morning tomorrow, and it’s likely that we’ll be rather stressed out at work, as we’re only working until noon but still have to do pretty much as much as we would’ve done during a full day … Perhaps I’ll just read a couple of pages about Sonea, Akkarin, Darryl and the others first
I’m listening to music via Spotify (thanks for the invite, Gav, even though I was late accepting it), and am just a little bit annoyed that I can’t seem to get the scrobbling on last.fm working. It’s supposed to work with Spotify, but it doesn’t. I can’t help but wonder if it’s a problem caused by the internet security program … a lot of things not working seems to be due to the fire wall or something else security related reacting. It does work with the “what I’m listening to” function on MSN messenger though. In any case, it seems to be a good place for listening to albums, deciding whether to buy them or not. I’ve already decided to buy the album of Erik Segerstedt Am currently listening to an album from Joshua Kadison that I haven’t found in the stores so far …
I should go to bed soon. Sofus wants to meet at the tourist fair at 10 tomorrow. I should get some sleep. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow feeling like I would rather be dead than getting out of bed, which was the case this morning. I am truly sick of being tired!
But at least I’ve been a little bit of a good girl and cleaned my fridge today. It wasn’t exactly the thing that I needed to do most of all, but it was the one thing that I felt inspired to do. And I cooked dinner. Yay! Even had dinner at the kitchen table instead of by the TV. I really prefer it that way, but most of the time I just feel too lonely sitting there on my own, you know?
And then I watched a French movie, “Ne le dis a personne”, which was totally okay. At first I was a bit annoyed by the fact that I did not understand what they said, especially Alexandre who spoke extremely fast, but after a while I got used to it, and I also think that I caught more and more words and expressions the longer I watched. I doubt that I will watch a French movie without subtitles anytime soon, though, if ever. There is a French movie showing at the cinema right now, “Il y a longtemps que je t’aime”, which I was sort of thinking about asking I. if he would like to see with me … but since he obviously doesn’t want anything more to do with me (nope, he still hasn’t called, which, of course, means that he never will) I guess that I will have to come up with a new plan … find a new candidate … but, honestly, I feel too tired to make any real effort when it comes to finding someone … I can’t help but to feel like the few mail conversations I’ve ended up in feel too shallow … Which might be terribly unfair of me, ‘cause it’s not very likely that one shares any really deep thoughts at the beginning like that, but … I just wish for someone who hits the spot, if you know what I mean? With whom even pointless conversations seem to make sense … it does happen. But not often. And I am sick of dreaming, but not getting. I worry about growing old alone, withering, being forever bitter and yearning.
So, it's that hated day again. I am trying my best to not let it get to me. It's really not that bad this year, but still ... You get reminded everywhere, and it's annoying. Dennis said he even got Valentine's day advertising to his cell phone. You can't escape it anywhere, unless you lock yourself up in a cave somewhere with no phone, no Internet, no TV, no ... well, you get the picture! As a single person you end up feeling like the entire world is out to harass you these days. And it's not needed ... most of us are rather good at depressing ourselves, obsessing about being lonely. It's very easy to let it evolve into one of the mortal sins - envy. I was out for a walk in the lovely, crisp, sunny weather earlier ... and felt my insides twinge with just that, envy, at the sight of couples and families having breakfast together in the various houses I passed, or the couple being out walking with their baby ... That had, of course, nothing to do with today being Valentine's day ... I would've felt the same way on some other morning, if I was out walking alone, when I'd much rather be walking by someone's side.
But then again, when it comes to guys I am just too mixed up right now. So, I am seeing (err, don't know if that's the right way to put it, we've just met two times, after all) one guy, fantasizing about another and dreaming (occasionally) of a third one at night. What does it say about me? That I am not ready to commit? Nah, I'd guess that it's more a matter of not having found The One. If I ever do, he will hopefully fill all three positions, right? I was fluffing around on Facebook earlier, and found this quote somewhere: "Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" (Oscar Wild) Somehow it rings very true. But the irresistible desire must still be mutual ...
So, let's just talk about something else, shall we? Camilla and I did go to the Afro Power Dance class on Wednesday, and it was fun. As we did the whole class barefoot, my feet hurt a bit afterwards though. I am certain it would have felt better to have done it on the African soil, as the instructor told us to pretend that we were It felt really good to finally be training again! Now, let's hope that I can keep it up, and find at least one more class that I like and that fits my schedule.
On Thursday we - Sofus, Gav and me - went to the cinema to see "Bolt". We saw the 3D-version, which was a bit tiring for the eyes, but really cool ... and the movie was both cute and funny. And sad, apparently, since my dear sister cried at least one time - of course. Well, okay, perhaps it was a bit sad at least once, but ... with that kind of movie you can be SURE that it all will end well, right? Speaking of movies, yesterday I decided to improve my French a bit by watching "Un long diamanche de fiancailles" that was shown on TV. I don't think it actually improved my French - I had a hard time making out words - but still ... It was a pretty good movie.
And I guess that now I should try to put something in my tummy, as I've not really eaten much today ... And then get ready to leave the house. We're watching Melodifestivalen at Mu's today. I really hope that it will be better than last week! Anyway, happy Valentine's to all of you out there ... if you celebrate it. And hope that you can forget about it if it makes you depressed!
all isn't exactly an option. I just hope that he doesn't come home too late, as I really miss his arms around me, and also it's nice to see a bit of him before going to bed, if you know what I mean? It's nice to do a bit more than just sleep together, even if that is nice enough.
And I suppose that it went well … I never really thought that it wouldn't. It's not like my parents would have any reason to dislike him … and my parents are rather easy-going, so … But still, it's not like my parents have ever been in this situation before, so who could tell? Hihi. Like my sister said, I don't think there was any matter of them checking him out to see if he's okay … I think they figured that out already … if not by the fact that I am crazy about him, so by the fact that my sister approves of him 
And mom had cooked a delicious dinner, as always! 
My sister found the coolest t-shirt on Sweden Rock Shop today … another Cookie monster one. Unfortunately they only have it in men's sizes - so unfair! There was also a really, really cool one with the A-team, that I would've wanted to have … but I am way too small to be able to buy anything that is not sold in girl sizes. This said, I wonder what on Earth I should get A. for Christmas … and he's already been bugging me for a while about what I want … but I really don't know! I really wouldn't lie if I said that all I really want for Christmas is him … I don't really need anything else 
Is this a trick to force me to use Opera? Firefox worked a bit better than IE the other day when I tried it, but ... not perfectly either, as the codes kept ending up at the end of the entry, no matter where I wanted to place them ... *annoyed*
WIDGETIZE