Je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime!!
Wednesday, 4. November 2009, 20:00:48
Ha! I just realized - when looking backwards in the blog - that today it’s five months to the day since A. and I kissed for the first time! Oh my God! That really feels a long time ago now … and I’ve grown so used to having him in my life that it’s almost scary. I am still thankful for it 
every day, though … and I think that the most amazing thing is that I actually dare believe that he feels the same way. He often tells me that I complete him … and yesterday he wrote me that I am the best thing in his life. He makes me so happy! And I love him so much!
It feels like it's dark and cold outside all of the time now, and we talk a lot about going into hibernation. Building a little nest, cuddling up close to one another and just sleep the cold, dark period away … But, of course, we can’t do that … It’s sort of depressing though, how it’s dark all the time. We’re entering the period when it’s dark when I go to work and dark when I get home, and I hate it. Sure, it’s cosy to be able to light candles and all that … but one can do that later in the evening … one does NOT want to do that at five o’clock!
This said, I like being back on standard time, even though it made the afternoons darker … My inner clock is definitely working on standard time, not Daylight Saving Time. I felt a huge difference when we changed back to standard time, really. It’s not like I jump out of bed in the morning, but I don’t feel as dead tired as I do during the DST period … not even when I get up slightly after five. I don’t really see the point of DST, and I know that I am not the only one … why can’t we just abolish it? It feels even more stupid since not all countries have it, and those who do don’t even change at the same time. Standard time all year around, that would be my wish!
I’ve been sleeping really badly the last couple of nights and someone suggested that it might be due to there being a full moon outside. I know that many people find their sleep being affected by the full moon, but I have never noticed it being this way for me … I wonder if it could have anything to do with it, or if it’s just a coincidence?! I hope that I will sleep better tonight, ‘cause one really needs sleep! It was blowing very heavily tonight too, which didn’t exactly help. As I was trying to fall back into sleep (I woke up time after time, perhaps once every hour) I kept thinking of how
unpleasant it would be to go out this morning if there was a storm … I’ve had really weird dreams lately too … Most of the time I can’t remember them once I wake up, I just have a feeling of discomfort inside, you know?
Saturday, A. and I saw Winnerbäck in concert at Lisebergshallen and it was great! Music gets so much more three-dimensional when you hear it in concert … I don’t really know how to describe the feeling … it’s like you get to be one with the music, somehow … it overwhelms you and sort of captures you in a little capsule for a while, where it’s just you and the music and your feelings, somehow. When he performed "Jag har väntat på ett regn" my eyes actually flooded with tears … That song really, really hurts. It was a great deal of luck that I had A.’s arms around me, or I would probably have broken down totally. I don’t think that he realized that I was in pain, but that doesn’t matter … the pain is mostly old … and him being there meant so much. The songs from the “Daugava” album were definitely the ones that affected me most … “Om du lämnade mig nu” almost made me cry too … that being, I guess, since it’s a song about parting from someone that you love/have loved and I sort of imagined what it would feel like if A. left me. I don’t know if I would’ve survived that. I listened to this album a lot during a period when my soul was very much in pain, I guess that leaves its marks, eh?
every day, though … and I think that the most amazing thing is that I actually dare believe that he feels the same way. He often tells me that I complete him … and yesterday he wrote me that I am the best thing in his life. He makes me so happy! And I love him so much! It feels like it's dark and cold outside all of the time now, and we talk a lot about going into hibernation. Building a little nest, cuddling up close to one another and just sleep the cold, dark period away … But, of course, we can’t do that … It’s sort of depressing though, how it’s dark all the time. We’re entering the period when it’s dark when I go to work and dark when I get home, and I hate it. Sure, it’s cosy to be able to light candles and all that … but one can do that later in the evening … one does NOT want to do that at five o’clock!
This said, I like being back on standard time, even though it made the afternoons darker … My inner clock is definitely working on standard time, not Daylight Saving Time. I felt a huge difference when we changed back to standard time, really. It’s not like I jump out of bed in the morning, but I don’t feel as dead tired as I do during the DST period … not even when I get up slightly after five. I don’t really see the point of DST, and I know that I am not the only one … why can’t we just abolish it? It feels even more stupid since not all countries have it, and those who do don’t even change at the same time. Standard time all year around, that would be my wish!
I’ve been sleeping really badly the last couple of nights and someone suggested that it might be due to there being a full moon outside. I know that many people find their sleep being affected by the full moon, but I have never noticed it being this way for me … I wonder if it could have anything to do with it, or if it’s just a coincidence?! I hope that I will sleep better tonight, ‘cause one really needs sleep! It was blowing very heavily tonight too, which didn’t exactly help. As I was trying to fall back into sleep (I woke up time after time, perhaps once every hour) I kept thinking of how
unpleasant it would be to go out this morning if there was a storm … I’ve had really weird dreams lately too … Most of the time I can’t remember them once I wake up, I just have a feeling of discomfort inside, you know?Saturday, A. and I saw Winnerbäck in concert at Lisebergshallen and it was great! Music gets so much more three-dimensional when you hear it in concert … I don’t really know how to describe the feeling … it’s like you get to be one with the music, somehow … it overwhelms you and sort of captures you in a little capsule for a while, where it’s just you and the music and your feelings, somehow. When he performed "Jag har väntat på ett regn" my eyes actually flooded with tears … That song really, really hurts. It was a great deal of luck that I had A.’s arms around me, or I would probably have broken down totally. I don’t think that he realized that I was in pain, but that doesn’t matter … the pain is mostly old … and him being there meant so much. The songs from the “Daugava” album were definitely the ones that affected me most … “Om du lämnade mig nu” almost made me cry too … that being, I guess, since it’s a song about parting from someone that you love/have loved and I sort of imagined what it would feel like if A. left me. I don’t know if I would’ve survived that. I listened to this album a lot during a period when my soul was very much in pain, I guess that leaves its marks, eh?
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