Black Forest Dolphin

Short Story

Wednesday, 27. September 2006, 13:23:21

I read an article the other day, that teachers are worried about a drastic lack of grammar and language-feeling amongst our kids by their intensive use of short-messages on cellphones.
They should not be worried too much, because I also read the following article:
A college class was told that they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The instructions were:
The short story had to contain the following three things:

-Religion
-Sexuality
-Mystery

And here is the shortest story of the entire class (graded A+) :

“Good God, I’m pregnant – I wonder who did it.”

8 Comments

Fall pictures

Wednesday, 20. September 2006, 14:04:11

wine, autumn photo network, fall

The virus caught me as well.
Find my first three pictures in the BFF album.
As you can see, fall is a very nice time over here (two of the three pictures are about wine)

3 Comments

Oktoberfest

Monday, 18. September 2006, 16:47:38

In Germany the fith season begun.

The Oktoberfest

Most of the germans do not visit this beer-orgy anymore because we feel kind of lost there.

If you want to order a beer in german the waiter might not understand you because the officiall languages are english, japanese, french and italian.
Also we germans have a sort of problem getting the correct Oktoberfest-equipment here. I am talking about those funny hats with goatbeards and the leather trousers. There might be one or two shops in some dark corners of Bavaria, who carry them, but they are really hard to find. On the oter hand there seems to be a massive industry for that kind of outfit outside Germany, because thousands of English, French, Italian and Japanese are dressed with it. So wearing your usual outfit (jeans and t-shirt) we feel very much out of place there.

Only every now and then we feel like beeing in Germany. This is when you by chance meet a policeman or a guy from first aid. They still seem to possess the german language ability. And of course the members of the bands. They are all germans but it is almost impossible to talk to them, because they are busy 18 hours a day and after that completely drunk.

Another big problem for us germans comes up, when we do not know the correct lyrics of the beersongs. Sure you find a lot of songtexts spread on every beertable, but when we want to use them we have to find out that they are printed in perfect phonetic english (except the headlines) Here an example:
“Ein Prosit der Gemütlichkeit” reads “ Eye'n pro sit dare gay mort lick kite". – very confusing for germans!

We also do not really understand why people travel thousands of miles just to double their bodyliquor with beer. They could do that a home as well, couldn’t they?

And why do Australians fly half the world, just to get tremendously drunk and then thrashing New Zealanders ("Fuck you, Kiwi") until the blood runs off their noses.

And why would you like to have your beer here

Instead of sitting in a nice litte bar next door?

There must be something special about it, which we germans did not find out so far. Please let me know if you have a clue.

Prost

Uwe

14 Comments

Life before the computer

Saturday, 16. September 2006, 06:03:29

When I booted my computer this morning, I had to think about the fact, how much this technology has changed our lifes. Not only that we spent so much time in front of it, but also our diction has changed completely.
In our life before the computer
-memory was something that you lost with age
-an application was for employment
-a program was a TV show
-a keyboard was a piano
-a web was a spider’s home
-a virus was the flu
-a hard drive was a long trip on the road
-a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
-and if you had a 3 ½ inch floppy you just hoped nobody would find out

I better shut down myself now and go back to sleep mode

4 Comments

Horse and carriage market

Monday, 11. September 2006, 16:17:35

Every year, when the vintage is done, we have a great horse and carriage market in our village. Thousands of people come to show and sell their horses. And of course there is a big beerfest going with it downtown. (remember we are in germany

)
Here are some impressions of the market. more to see in the album

5 Comments

Susi

Sunday, 27. August 2006, 11:33:25

Next in line in my family album is my daughter Susi.

…and it is tough to desrcibe her character –
let me try anyhow:

she leads a withdrawn life without any rouffle or exitement,

she takes life very serious

and she is sort of shy

and she was like that from her adolescence

In her life she seems to attract and gather similar characters.
Best proof of that are the colleagues in her company.

they also seem to be serious, shy and restrained

even at work

and her broadminded character makes even bobbies smile

From her earliest days Susi had a strong affinity to water

That’s one of the reasons, why she emigrated to Florida

what of course gives me a good reason to visit her

I only can hope, that she never changes her temper and
always will be that nice girl that she is and whome I love.

8 Comments

Introducing myself to the opera community

Saturday, 26. August 2006, 10:21:12

Hi my dear friends and blogreaders,

I am pretty much a rookie concerning blog-writing.
I came across the opera blogs through my wifies one.
And I think it’s a nice thing to do. So I will continue my
blog a little more serious in the future. - promised -

So for a start, I tried to fill out the “about” columns
on my page and I found out, that they are by far too
small to describe all the things I like. That’s why I will
show those things I love a little bit more detailed in this
and some future blogs.

Thinking about that, I recognized, that everything, I
love to do, is in some way or other connected with
and to my family. So of course I have to introduce
my family to you first. But I warn you – we all are
a kind of weird - and we are proud of it.

Let me start with my wifie Elke, whome you might
know from her blog “sternchen”. I got married to her
early this year in Miami. And here are only some of
the reasons why I love her (and the order is by chance):

1. She is a very nice woman

2. I can have a lot of fun with her

3. She has very much the same preferences like me

4. She has got that certain happiness and easyness

5. my day will be perfect when she gets that
very special expression in her eyes.

and a hundret more reasons which you will see later.

In tomorrows blog I will tell you the important facts
about my daughter Susi

have a nice day
Uwe

4 Comments

Modern Technology

Saturday, 11. March 2006, 12:23:39

beeing in Florida on vacation, I found out, that literately every american is permanently using a cellphone. Back home again, I checked out my own cellphone and decided, that I need a new one. One of those super-dooper things, with colour screen, built in camera and mp3 player. Otherwise I just wanted to use it as a phone. (you type in a number and then you can talk to your friends.)
So I went out to one of those really big electronic markets and went directly into the cellphone department.
The salesperson did not look very happy, when I told him that I need a new cell phone.
salesrep: do you mean, that you already have a phonecontract?
me: yes
salesrep: ok. you may take any phone you want.
me: but I need some technical advice.
salesrep: only if you agree to a new contract. They are cheaper anyways.
me. ok then ( his countenance became a little more friendly)
salesrep: you want permanent or prepaid?
me: prepaid please
salesrep: ( his face dropped back to bored)what kind of phone
me: one of those, where you can talk to people
salesrep: (looking to the ceiling with his eyebrows up) Do you want a standard or a PDA
me: yes
salesrep: so what?
me: PDA sounds good.
salesrep: (becomming a little more friedly again) Do you need GSM standard with UMTS ?
me: I want to call my friends
salesrep: do you want to send pictures
me: can I do that?
salesrep: with UMTS you can. But you better go for UMTS with HSDPA.
me: may be I do not want to send pictures
salesrep: How do you connect to your laptop? By WLAN or by Rootkit ind the BMGS standard Connectivity?
me: which laptop?
salesrep: (to another client: I`ll be with you in a second, sir) Back to me: So you do not want to transfer data to your laptop?
me: I want to call friends.
salesrep: So you do not want a WLAN model?
me: No ???
salesrep: ok. then you should at least take a HDMI model with integrated BMGS and a fast TD-SCDMA connector.
me: what is it?

As the salesman did not talk to me any longer, I decided not to buy a new cellphone and keep using my old one for some more time. But as I was ready to spend some money, I decided to buy a new televisionset. When I entered the TV section of the shop I was welcomed by a nice salesman with a bright simle on his face.
salesrep: You need a new tv?
me: not really. My old one is working well. But i'm interested in one with the flat screen.
salesrep: that is a smart idea. what type of tv are you looking for?
me: to watch television and probably the news on a wide screen.
salesrep: do you also want to play DVDs on your new set?
me: do I have to?
salesrep: in this case you should go for a VDSL model with a tripple Play HDCP.
me: can I also watch football with that?
salesrep: then you definitely need a HDTV set.
me: do you have a brochure of it?

This was the moment, when the salesman left me alone. I waited a minute or two and then decided, that my old tv-set works quite well. But I still was in the mood to spend money. Didn't the telephone-guy ask me, if I had a laptop? What a great idea - I was on the way to the computerdepartment.

Thank God: no salesman to be seen.
They offered three reasonable priced laptops with a full description of all the features:
model #1: with LAN, WLAN, USB, TCPIP, in a Core Duo version and bluetooth
model #2: with RSSreader, PCMCI-adapter, VOIP-ready and S/P-DIF configured and bluetooth
model #3: with TOS-link, Firewire, RAY-connector, several items of model 1 and/or 2 and bluetooth.

As I wanted to stick to the colour of my teeth, I decided not to buy a laptop.
On my way home I came along an office supply shop.
Here I finally could spend some money. I bought a pencil ! but not a standard one: it is painted in a reflecting blue colour, has a hightech rubber tip, a ergonomical moulded grip and a smooth writing, long lasting, ergonomical lead.
And, believe it or not: I can talk to it, because it has a name:
it's called. "black warrior"

8 Comments

Hello and welcome

Tuesday, 31. January 2006, 16:37:03

germany, news

Hello Opera world !
Here is a newcommer to the world of blogs.
My reason to open this blog is the fact, that there are so many things in this world, which I like and as many, which I do not understand. So I will post here my thoughts in the future and hope, that you will comment a lot and make me understand. Besides that, I will try to clear out some of the prejustices about the Germans, which seem to travel the world. And I will start this right now by introducing myself:
Yes, you guessed right-I am German.
Yes, I am not skinny
No, I am not really fat
Yes, we do have small cars
No, we do not all wear funny leather trousers
Yes, our language has a difficult grammar
No, we are not all Bavarians
Yes, we drink beer
No, we also use small glases and not only stines
Yes, we are punctual
No, we do not ride the autobahn faster than 180 miles
Yes, we sometimes eat bretzels
No, Salzburg is not a german city
Yes, we also eat sauerkraut
No, we do not refuse McDonalds
Yes, many of us do have humour
No, our money is not dollars
Yes, we are (sometimes) dilligent
No, we are not always loud
Yes, we are relaxed from time to time
No, we are not all blond

So much as a first lesson