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Posts tagged with "Men's Mags"

Macho White Men vs Water Monkeys, Nazi Mandrils, Killer Minks and Canivorous Flying Squirrels

Friday, 15. June 2007, 14:52:10

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No doubt some of the most entertaining of the men’s “true adventure” covers to be created were the men against ruthless animal covers. As if Bushido warriors, Nazis, assorted dark skinned savages and commies weren’t enough, our hairy chested he-men had to also grapple with out of control varmints from every corner of the world. Now a couple of these covers may almost seem plausible in a far fetched way. For example the cover for MALE where the guy is tearing blood sucking leeches from his flesh in the swamps of Ceylon. The other MALE cover with two tough guys hacking up piranha is not really inconceivable. But it soon takes a turn for the near ludicrous (and therefore more thoroughly enjoyable) when the same magazine portrays some lost at sea heroes fending off a horde of savage meat eating water monkeys from their rubber raft. I am not a zoologist but I have never heard of such a thing happening. It would be a more interesting world however if it did.



Even more stunning a revelation is that the masters of evil the Nazis had trained mandril apes from remote areas of Africa to eat pretty young half naked white girls alive. No fear however since always lurking nearby and out of sight is a stud with a gun. In this case a Tommy gun. Blast ‘em Joe! Not to be out done by their Nazi rivals in evil some stinking red commies tie yet another half naked white girl down with stakes and have a bunch of minks (a cute name for weasels) prepare to rip her flesh to shreds. These Nazi and commie guys were so evil and insidious you almost have to love them.




When it is all said and done nothing compares to the horror our hero on the cover of True Men must contend with. It is a fate we all fear when lost in the wilds of Burma or Borneo but one we tremble to voice. What you ask? Devoured by a Bengal Tiger or gored by a jealous water buffalo? I wish it were that civilized a death he faces. No. I am talking about the most feared and vicious animal in all of the wild kingdom. You may have guessed by now riveted reader what savage beast I am referring to in hushed terms: yes, I am talking about flying squirrels. Meat eating, insane flying squirrels. Imagine the world we would be living in now had Spielberg selected this bloodthirsty beast as the heartless killer of his first film rather than that wimpy great white shark. My God.

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Men's Magazines Advertisements

Thursday, 3. May 2007, 13:32:00

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CLASSIC MEN'S STAG MAGAZINE ADVERSTISEMENTS


Wow. Was there actually a time when guys could use the term “girlie” in the USA and still have a smidge of respectability from the opposite sex? Seems like “your highness” is not suitable these days. Well, who cares about that. I am more interested in the days when you did not need talent or experience to draw girlie cartoons, “the kind we all like to see.” Who needs talent to draw beautiful girls, right guys?

What the hell is this? Some sort of hypnosis show or what? It must be some type of performance but I am fuzzy here. Looks like an ad to book the “#1 Scoundrel” and then we can observe women being “enslaved and degraded”. Perhaps we will find out the answer to the age old burning question of “can love and passion be induced under hypnosis?” Could any nightclub act ever be this great? I fear not.


Well these days women have to really be careful at parties of what some perverted predator may be slipping her drink in the form of various date rape drugs. I may sound light hearted here, but I advise all women to hire a drink taster before accepting drinks at frat bashes and office parties these days. But it wasn’t that long ago that the shoe was on the other foot and women were slipping sex drugs to us guys at parties. You doubt your humble compiler? I have the proof right here. Yes, once sex crazed women were slipping men the pre-historic equivalents of Viagra, concoctions known as "party tabs", in order to turn them into their mindless love slaves. Will there ever come a day when men and women both can sit a drink down at a party and relax, knowing some lust fiend has not targeted us as a toy for their evil passions. My God, I hope so. Until then I open my own soda pop!

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Men's Action Magazine Covers Featuring Commies and Nazis

Sunday, 29. April 2007, 09:58:55

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CREEPY COMMIES, NASTY NAZIS AND MISCHIEVOUS MONKEYS HURTING HELPLESS BOUND WOMEN, A FEW WHO ARE SAVED IN THE NICK OF TIME BY A HEROIC WHITE MAN CONSTANTLY SNEAKING UP BEHIND EVERYONE WITH A WEAPON









The inside of these old magazines could never deliver the goods promised on the lurid and vivid covers. The teasers on the covers were often written first then a story or bit of "arm-pit journalism" was created to give some credibility to the book and to fill in the space between the advertising sections that promoted body building and private eye correspondance schools. This is really disappointing because I would have liked to have read about the "mad lust of the hypnotized gorilla" or learned what really happened to the ravaged women in the Nazi madhouse zoo.

These scans were mostly of good quality and large too which can be rare for this stuff, but there is a glitch that almost made me scrap the entire post. If you notice the corners at the spine are all curved up and that simply drives me nuts because the images are not square the way I like them. It is as if the guy had them laying on something when he took the digital pics and they got all folded. He ought to be fed to flesh ripping weasels or have his arm amputated and then have a gorilla's arm attached to him for such Yankee imperialist abnormal lust driven incompetence.
Please check the photo album section for more pictures.

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Classic Men's Magazine Covers

Monday, 12. February 2007, 10:39:23

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First of all I apologize if the quality of these scans are a not so perfect but I had to enlarge them and sharpen them from thumbnails. This stuff can be hard to find really in pristine form. I am sure it is out there and I will research more when I have time and hopefully find some better quality scans someday. For now, just be a real man and except them the way they are!


I recall these types of covers from my uncle Kenny's house in Kentucky as a wee lad there. He had them all mixed up with old issues of Playboy in the old house that was once a funeral home. Luckily perusing these types of books had no negative effects on me later. If you are not familiar with these magazines they are simply low brow exploitation magazines with an emphasis on scantly clad white girls in peril from gorillas and piranhas or savage men of various ethnicities. To keep from falling into a blatant racist category they were also brutalized by big Aryan Nazi men and women too.

The gals are usually about to be rescued by a brave white guy with a Tommy gun or Bowie knife or his bare hands although I have seen more than a few covers where the outcome seems less than favorable for all white people involved. The guys are often tied up and tormented by Nazi gals but they do not seem as in danger as the girls. I recall one cover where the girl's arm had been removed by a Nazi with a hack saw and an excited gorilla was holding the arm. I saw no happy ending for this gal.


I can see why this stuff might ruffle the feathers of feminists and politically correct zealots who use terms like "undocumented workers" and therefore I worked extra hard to get the enlargements as clear as possible. Expect to see this type of stuff on a regular basis here at the Café where brave white guys gutting pygmies to protect spawning privilages with a ditzy blonde is always a topic for discussion at tea time.

Got the scans from this site. They appear to be only available in thumbnail size but it is still a great site with comic book covers and pulp paperback covers as well.

http://www.normansaunders.com/index.html

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