Thoughts, Feelings, and Healing

I feel like I'm "stuck" in life with nowhere to turn for answers or help. How does one find a way to get "unstuck"?
There are many things going on internally in my life. I have many issues that I have been dealing with for many years, and probably many more to come. That's not the problem really, it's the fact that I am alone. Not wanted. And I don't know why. I am a good, kind & caring person. But I was abandoned by both of my parents...at conception.
Honestly, intimacy actually scares me anymore. So I guess I am alone in part by choice.

I need to find something, anything to believe in. I want to find "faith". Not in the religious sense. Because of my abandonment issues I don't trust, I'm suspicious of peoples' motives in general. It's hard to have faith when you have lived life alone and unwanted (starting as a fetus). There was no nurturing from her.
I know my mother never wanted me and only got pregnant to trap a man and get out from under her mothers control.
She was 16. She turned 17, twenty-one days before I was born. By all accounts she was and is an aweful mother, especially to me.
How do you love if you've never been taught? If you were never truly given any by the one person who brought you into this world? I would love to know how to learn, if it's not to late.