BrainBucket

Man is born to live, not to prepare for life.

Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age, we didn't have food.

What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.

What do you mean he don't eat no meat?...That's okay. I make lamb.

America is a mistake, a giant mistake.

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.

It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Get busy living or get busy dying

I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

A finished person is a boring person

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

I think that one possible definition of our modern culture is that it is one in which nine-tenths of our intellectuals can't read any poetry.

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

I’m the only major candidate who opposed this war from the beginning and as President, I will end it

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.

I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.

War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

I’m the only major candidate who opposed this war from the beginning and as President, I will end it

Organized crime in America takes in over 40 billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits.

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before... He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.

Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards.

It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your fe

I am not a crook.

Read my lips: no new taxes.

That depends on what the meaning of 'is' is.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.

Men have become the tools of their trade.

Yes it's true. [pause] This man has no dick.

Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form.

Every big problem was at one time a wee disturbance.

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.

Little boy, don't push my button.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

If You Can't Be Googled, Do You Exist?

How fast can you read (out-loud) the title of this Wikipedia topic.

Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! It'll make him crazy!