During the darkest hours of the night,we see the beauty of the stars

KIDS TALK
and say the
Funniest
stuff .....

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Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce: Future tense of marriage

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

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Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand"

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

BOY : Say you love me! Say you love me!
GIRL : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

Answer: Princess Diana's death.


> Question: How come?
>
>
> Answer: An English princess
>
>
> with an Egyptian boyfriend
>
>
> crashes in a French tunnel,
>
>
driving a German car
>
> with a Dutch engine,
>
> driven by a Belgian who was drunk
>
> on Scottish whisky, >
>
> followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
>
> on Japanese motorcycles;
>
>
> treated by an American doctor,
>
>
> using Brazilian medicines.
>
> This is sent to you by an American,
>
> using Bill Gate's technology,
>
>
> and you're probably reading this on your computer,
>
> that uses Taiwanese chips,
>
>
> and a Korean monitor,
>
>
> assembled by Bangladeshi workers
>
>
> in a Singapore plant,
>
> transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
>
> hijacked by Indonesians,
>
>
> unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
>
>
> and trucked to you by Mexican illegal.....
>
>
> That, my friends, is Globalization