Thursday, 18. June 2009, 07:06:01
Finally, semester 3 ended
Last click will end everything, every subjects of this semester
Somehow, I feel this semester is kinda very different from the previous ones
Maybe because of the elective subjects and other factors
Is a brand new start after the naughty and tired semester 2
I think I found back the joy of studying thanks to the elective subject but will it last long when there's not elective subject anymore?
Anyway, 3 months ended
I found stress
I found lack of sleep
I found lack of energy
but I think the most important things that I found which make me never regret is
I found happiness, laughs and smiles 
Thursday, 28. May 2009, 04:05:43
Spent the whole morning to listen to those songs again
Which may be the inspirations for me to forget anything which is happening around me just to figures out the scenes
Which may also be the lakes that I'm drown inside to eventually find the bottom
"Dreams are meant for that. Some can come true. Some we just can live with"
Same old feeling
The feeling of being so happy when thinking of ideas and being so down when knowing that it's still so far away
Then when being lack of breath but not yet find the bottom, have to come back to the surface, to real life ... and those which are supposed to be solved first.
"Dreams are seductive in some way for those who seriously dream with enough spirit to walk through barriers"
Ya, it's hard but still want to walk on it.
And for some reason, dreamers have to leave everything behind to walk alone physically though they know people accompany them spiritually
Will I make it someday? I don't know...
Or may not be able to make them come true at all
I still smile deep down inside
For my dreams
Monday, 11. May 2009, 17:43:56
Journeys are meant to be walked on
But not every journey we can find though we long for years
For those who are still small now, be a kid at the age you're meant to be a kid... before it's too late
And at that age, do learn how to express love, how to love others and love yourself, learn to laugh and smile like a kid with innocent mind 'cos they're things that are very hard to change when you already grow up and become an adult.
There are still many people who miss their childhood for some reason
Wish they could feel it at least 1 time
Because it's more than beautiful...
I'm, somehow, walking back to the past and do the same things
From returning to keep pictures in an album, playing lego to drawing...again. Just the same way as I used to draw: paper and a pen, use them to capture everything. Though it's not as fast as camera, but the feeling of peace when coming back to the place where I drew is very real. Or just by looking at the pics, I also can imagine that I was sitting there at that time...
Yes, it's ugly and full of mistakes, but it's original without any erasing
Is like a kid, sleeping like a kid, and just don't need to think anything. PURE!
Gonna collect pens and tiny cars back whenever I have private place again...
For an adult mind and appearance, those moments are very precious.
So, thank you...
"In the mirror, I'm older
But deep inside, I'm still the same child..."
Saturday, 18. April 2009, 14:14:50
Everything in our life worth trying
and matter happens for some reason
I do believe like that
@Who supposed to be my teammate: When the matter comes, the 'supposed to be' truth turned out to be a lie right in front of our eyes and through observations, it doesn't matter anymore 'cause through that we are able to identify who is true. Though disappointment is indispensable.
Thursday, 9. April 2009, 10:51:00
Life is like a stage, you can never know what exists behind it if you never stand there
I was once asked why I always wanted to be "behind the scene"
and I just answered "Every position has its own glory"
In teamwork, there never have "the most important" but everyone is important, even the smallest part
But it will be deceitful if I say that I never want to be "in front" - that's human's instinct - the desire to be known
I know how hard it is to stand in front and how much sacrifice is given to stand behind
After all, I still love what I am now... because life is incomparable
There was a time I tried to deny myself from what I really am. I wanted people to know about me more than just ICT...
But in the end, the only thing which stays in me is what helps me to stand out from the crowd...
Still remember that I had to have 2 lunches at the same time on my first day came to class 2 years ago just because I wanted to get closer to you guys. And the decision to move out from the house with Mia in Subang to Ridzuan, too. I always say thanks to this decision 'cos after this, we did have a great event, right? - English is a miracle... So are 1st trip to Sunway Lagoon and P.S. I love English
Still remember the feeling of being left behind and choices that I made for u guys to stay.
The one who goes away is the bravest and the loneliest ... but that one is invincible. I believe in it.
So what all the ones who stay need to do are just ... staying happily
I don't want anyone to feel pity for me...really
It was always good and bad
The good is I got to know Alissa, Rae, Chel, Julia, Chern Lin, Chia Ying, and FICM Jan very fast
and the bad is I realized I never belong to u guys - who I chose to stay in the end
I couldn't go back and couldn't move forward. The only I can do was standing in the middle of nowhere
However, I did believe there will be one day that I know where I belong to...
From the 1st badminton to birthdays parties and Melaka Trip until now, just wanna say thank you because I never feel this close to u guys before that.
To stay or not to stay, to go first or to go later doesn't mean anything...the only matter is I love what I'm meant to be and where I am now.
To: "My Friendship", Crystal, Jo, Kathy, Jun (as requested, gosh --"), FICM March, Trinh, C1
"-/..../.-/-./-.- -.--/---/..-"
Sunday, 29. March 2009, 11:37:26
When there's nothing I can do but listening to what happens to your voice and your mind
Do cry for everytime you didn't but do not forget how to smile
Do hope even though there's really no hope for you to survive
And I will still say this though it becomes so familiar and desperate
"Dear, everything's gonna be fine. If it's not fine, it's not the end"
Because that's the only thing I can do...now
Wednesday, 11. March 2009, 12:53:22
To my "wind":
In the middle of the night, I ran to your house... couldn't stop myself from thinking of the worst situation that you would not wake up...again
"Mio... I'm beside her now. Pls help me... I don't know where she puts her medicine"
"She faints away. She's lying on the floor, Mio... What should I do?"
...
I heard on the phone...she was calling your name and kept trying to slap you to wake you up as I told her... but it seemed desperate...
"I'm on the way now. If she's still not awake, pls help me to call ambulance..." (But you also cannot stand ambulance's horn...)
I just ran without knowing that I was bringing along a jacket...for you in case you were cold (how stupid I was haha, at your house surely has --") and holding my handphone so tightly...
It's happy to have you back... smiling with your "yellow teeth" haha, couldn't stop yourself from cursing me muahaha
Thanks Kathy for accompanying me...since here is not Vietnam, it's much more dangerous to go out alone at that time haha she said "No wonder your face looks so serious". I do have serious face (not funny all the time grao) but for certain circumstances only (watching movies for instance hoho)
Thanks Pei Ling for waking up at the right time to know that she fainted away and made a call to me...
... and thank you for being a brave girl who tried to stay even though your breath and your consciousness had gone
For the time when we voice chat online, when I have to keep singing with my guitar ... with a silence from your side. That time I thought of a day that you're not going to answer me anymore and everything left is just a silence like that, I will still sing for you...
But anytime when this "thing" happens, I'd rather make you laugh than just sit there, muahaha, the most wonderful time to bully you kaka
Dear, whenever you say you wanna be alone, I respect that...but it's not safe at all to stay very far from you like now
Sorry for slapping you that hard...
Monday, 2. March 2009, 16:27:11
"Everyday, I sit there and notice that a lot of people use the stairs to go up but not to the top of the building. Suddenly, for some reasons, I want to know what that stairs lead to. Then, I just keep going up like that...until I reach...ya... "my secret place"
From here, I can see it very near...feel like if I stretch my arm, I can really touch the sky. But it's not, really not...just like my dream"
I used to like capturing the sky and going to "my secret place" just to ... sleep. And to find peace in my mind... simple as that... alone by myself but I never feel lonely
Not anymore all that for more than 1 year...
Then I come back - with my friend - who I trust as a teammate and a friend. The feeling of not being there alone is different. Just standing, feeling the wind, and keeping silent... between 2 of us
I love playing my guitar and sing
I love riding motorbike without knowing where I'm going to
I love Communication not for the words spoken but for the ones not
"There was a girl who loves seeing the sky and sharing a lot by looking up like that. One day, 2 days, 3 days pass, she thought it was normal. But one day, she was called for work, then she ran immediately out of her mind to what she always love and fight for. Since then, she has never stopped again... Hobbies may change, appearance may change, life may change, but one thing never change... it's whenever she closes her eyes just to feel that life doesn't run anymore and that something she called "normal" in the past now is "precious""
Will she be able to come back?
Yes, she will
For everything and everyone that stay...
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