bygjohn's blog

Eurovision aftermath

Much to the amazement and incomprehension of some of my friends, for the last few years I've taken to watching the Eurovision. Largely as it's hilarious entertainment when consumed along with a little alcohol, even if there is a vague guilty feeling that one shouldn't be enjoying such a freak show.

Lately it's become a ludicrous behemoth, with far too many entrants (43 this year) and the voting, which was always suspect, has now become a total farce, largely due to the eastern Europeans voting for each other. Various reasons for this have been proposed, but which ever way you look at it, it isn't good. Here are a few possibles:

• People vote politically out of fear/loyalty, eg everyone votes for Russia because it's flexing its muscles again.
• People vote due to national diasporas/guest workers etc, eg Bosnia votes for Serbia because a third of the population are Serbs, Germany votes for Turkey due to large Turkish minority (this last one didn't seem to apply so much this year).
• People in the east understand their common genres better - cheesy europop with eastern tinges for the most part.
• The harsher version of that is racism - look at how black people are treated in the east (from visiting footballers to students) and it's no surprise that the UK's entry, a black guy with a retro funk tune, didn't do so well.
• Some of the eastern countries actually take the thing seriously instead of seeing it as a joke like most of the west does. Bizarre, but I suspect this is true, though some have cottoned on, eg Latvia this time. And I'd also say Bosnia, but in this case I'm not sure it wasn't some attempt at being arty, god help us. "Four knitting brides of Frankenstein and a lunatic with a clothes line" was a pretty good summary by Sir Tel. Except there were two lunatics...
• One friend reckons that the combination of recent liberation and nouveau-richeness = penchant for bling/kitsch, which while being a tad snobbish may well be accurate. Explains the cheesy europop etc.

Whatever, it's becoming tedious. And it's also developed more than a hint of Borat:

• The boy band types aren't quite done right. Having odd-looking people with squints/bad hair etc doesn't cut it. That includes the winner, and surrounding him with a podgy violinist and androgynous person with a mullet on skates doesn't help. NB I don't think looks should matter when it comes to music, but if you're doing manufactured plastic, do it properly...
• What on earth was going on with the funeral band for the interval act?

Serious surgery is needed if it's going to be worth watching again. Perhaps the eastern countries paying for their grand love-in might be a start, with the UK and other Big Four countries who bankroll it pulling out of the funding. Though it'll probably become even more Borat...