Wednesday, 13. August 2008, 20:28:16
fate, adrenal fatigue
so... it has either been to chaotic or i have been to frazzled or fuzzy to blog. nothing like sitting down to type and your brain says "uhhhh...".
so a quick update, although nothing terribly interesting. the garden was decimated by the groundhog. godzilla ate everything. except my tomatoes. and they started to ripen, but it has been like monsoon season here, endless rain and the tomatoes are splitting. the few that i have gotten have been fabulous.
i've had the six week follow up with the naturopath, and there has been improvement. my energy levels are somewhat better and my stomach has gotten a bit smaller, which is a good thing. we're still working on shrinking my greater omentum to a lesser omentum and so far i have been religiously good about following the eating plan. i thought i might get to have decaf or cheese or something, but she wants me to stick with the plan till i go back in October and then we'll go from there. i do miss cheese, wine, and coffee like crazy. so i am still wheat-diary-alcohol- sugar/sweetener - caffeine free ( no decaf even) and low carb/glycemic and high protein. i certainly can't overeat on this plan, there's nothing bad that i can have!
i did slip up once, using a steak rub without reading the ingredients one night. i woke up with terrible indigestion and nausea and couldn't figure it out.. around two a.m. i looked at the steak rub and processed wheat was the second ingredient. so now we know that i am wheat intolerant, and that was a real surprise. i had no idea!
so i'm officially wheat free, or well i have been, but it's the plan, now, to remain so.
i had constant stomach troubles, and now i know why, as i haven't had any in almost two months.
i've had a lot of stress and things to deal with in the last few years, and depression. not that it's more than anyone else, just a lot for me... one of the things i had to come up with in the last few months of introspection is that i realized that i am almost always the one that keeps up friendships. always. friends just drift away into the ether if i don't keep up comunication... it's a very hard thing to not contact people that you care about, but i had to stop doing it. i have to realize that if i am not in their thoughts enough to check in every now and then, i probably shouldn't be. i still care about everyone, i have just made myself let it go, and not pursue communication. it would be great if any of them got in touch with me, but months have gone by and no one has... so i guess i have an answer. that has been really hard, but i guess everything happens for a reason.
on a brighter note i have made new friends here and feel like i am finally doing what i like to do - build community and friendships. i've even met fellow Pagans which has been wonderful. so there is good with the sad, as there always is.
small boy with a summer cold is summoning me, so this will have to wait till later...
Wednesday, 9. July 2008, 00:08:35
social, rant, wine, bitch
...
Okay I have to rant, here... there was an Air Quality Alert issued for our county today, so I specifically checked at the front desk of my daughter's day camp that 1) yes they knew, and that 2) they would not have the kids outside doing anything active or strenuous. Simple enough, right? I mean people do know that children have smaller lung area than adults and are therefore more susceptible to everything from second-hand smoke to particulate matter to the high levels of ozone today. It was in the Unhealthy range, and what do I find out, they had recess and other stuff outside, running and playing ball.
Who do I sue??? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Okay I admit this heat and humidity is *killing* me. And the lack of caffeine wheat sugar cheese etc etc etc in my system is making me just a tiny bit of a raving psychotic bitch -Grendel's Mother, anyone?? - but please.
And it's funny. Being so thoughtful about what I have to eat and avoid and consume make me more thoughtful about myself, in general. I suppose suffering (ha) is good for introspection. I've been having a rough time with depression the last few days and even pushed myself to reach out for some companionship or something, but everyone is busy. Such is my life. I should try to be suicidal at a more convenient time. No, really.. I am actively trying to be social and widen my circle of friends. It's been years that I've been a bit of a hermit with virutally no support network and I just can't do it anymore. Scott works out of state all week, and that is just the final straw. No I really have *no*one and it just sucks. So stay tuned for me being a socialite. Um, okay, not, but I am making an effort.
I actually marched in the Independence Day Parade here in front of the whole town and half a million tourists. If that isn't effort, well then, bite me.
Just because I was not happy about it, doesn't mean I wasn't trying.
So there.
Oh how lonely the evenings are without a glass of wine.
Dammit.
I don't suppose they make gluten free wheat free dairy free sugar free sweetener free low glycemic high protein alcohol free wine?????
bah.
PS
That damned groundhog came back yesterday. Started eating everything, after I had replaced it all. Do you know how hard it is to find organic, heirloom starts around here? Or how much they cost? I really couldn't afford to replace them the first time. Seems he went on vacation for a few weeks, till everything started to get nice and big and now he's back, and now, half my garden is GONE. Eaten to the stems. I just really cannot deal with this. I can't afford to replace it, and I have just given up and apparently I will not have a garden this year. The little baby tomatoes that lifted my spirits a few days ago now just totally depress me since as soon as they are ripe, he will eat all my lovely heirloom tomatoes. I hate him right now.
Tuesday, 8. July 2008, 14:22:38
Let the whining commence! Okay, I swear that I am tired from just typing that, or thinking it. Not sure which is worse. Apparently the two cups of coffee, the decaf in the afternoon and the green tea are all that have ekpt me alive, because now, without them, I find it hard to even move. I'm not having headaches, or any discomfort...I'm just so low energy it's a huge effort to walk from room to room or move. My feet and legs feel like lead, even when sitting or laying, there is just this heaviness. The thought of doing something makes me just sigh and dread whatever it is. I can't believe how tired and groggy I feel. I think the brain fog has reached an all time high, today, as well. And I can't figure out what the Hell to eat, have to inspect everything I reach for to make sure there is no dairy, no wheat, no sugar or sweeteners, not high glycemic. I ate a Hell of a lot of barley yesterday. The heat has been oppressive, and ridiculously high humidity which makes me feel leaden and awful anyway, so it's not helping. However, I committed to doing this,and do it I shall. Just expect a lot of whining.
Monday, 7. July 2008, 15:24:39
suffering, anti inflammatory, no caffeine, wheat free
...
Wish me luck...i'm giving up caffeine, wheat, sugar, dairy, and alcohol. Oh and citrus. This is the naturpath's plan to treat the adrenal fatigue, repair my thyroid (and boost my metabolism) and prevent my pre-diabetic status from becoming full-blown diabetes. I need to do this for at least six weeks, and then I will go in for a follow up to see how I'm doing. I got my constitutional remedy and took it, but don't know what it is, yet. The doctor says that she has found that people go look it up and then it skews your perception, so that until the follow up, she prefers not to tell me. Of course I'm dying to know what it is, but hey, it's worth it. I thought I would be able to have decaf, and was fine with that, but the amount of caffeine in decaf , or decaf tea is too much for my barely functioning adrenals, so it's nada for java. Any of you that know me well know how much I love my coffee, so it's a big thing for me to give up. So far, no headache, or anything, I just miss the taste. I have to learn to do the wheat free thing, and I can only have brown rice, basmati, amaranth, quinoa, barley, and I think teff, and am supposed to eat 1-2 cups per day of that. Lots and lots of steamed veggies, I can have salads, and am supposed to be eating high protein, low carb. If I must have sweeteners for something I can use maple syrup or honey but no more than 2T per day, and preferably not at all. So there goes those cinnamon brown sugar and vanilla almonds that I was munching on, at least for awhile. Just plain almonds, now. No dairy, no cheese <screams> no milks. I have been doing a lot of green smoothies, but I am limited to two pieces of fruit per day, so that probably translates to maybe one smoothie.
At least I can still have chips and salsa, have to make sure it isn't sweetened or having tons of fruit, so will likely just make my own. I will surely miss my wine tonight, sigh. Okay, it's all for a good cause and soon i will be healthy and radiant and have energy again. RIGHT??? Okay, I'm off to go cook some millet or something... anyone with any good recipes or suggestions, send them my way, I need all the help I can get.
Friday, 27. June 2008, 20:37:00
chronic illness, stress, adrenal fatigue, adrenal exhaustion
...
So I haven't blogged much lately..er, the last year, I know. I cannot seem to focus long enough to write without interruption, and then if I do get interrupted (which is sort of inevitable in my world) I lose my train of thought, and end up erasing. So I'm going to attempt to catch up here, quickly... For the last eight or so years, my health has been in decline. A long list of symtpoms but that began with unexplained weight gain and mental fogginess and very low energy. All of these things have gotten worse, and you can add thinning hair, lack of focus, trouble sleeping, digestive troubles, aches and pains that make life pretty difficult to the list. Other things that I can't think clearly to write down at the moment. I have been convinced that I was hypothyroid, but I have alwasys tested in the normal range for TSH and not been able to convince the few doctors I have been able to see to try different tests. Last fall I felt cold at the first sign of autumn, and remained uncomfortably cold all winter. I do live in a very old, and drafty house, but this was me wearing 4 and 5 layers at all times, except maybe only 3 shirts to sleep in. Yeah. I was never warm until summer started to show up and then I was immediately too hot, very uncomfortably hot. And right now I am chilly, but earlier it was hot and humid and I felt sick from it. My thoughts are scattered, and everything is just too much for me to deal with, too stressful, and my anxiety and depression have been through the roof. Well, long story as short as I can, I finally have found a physician who understands, and can help. I started seeing a Naturopath and was diagnosed with severe adrenal exhaustion. My thyroid function is very low and my adrenals are nearly non-existent. So, while that's not great news, I'm actually thrilled because I know for the first time in about 8 years that I am not imagining it all, the pain and the brain fog and the forgetfulness which has become very troublesome, actually worrisome, lately. I have taken to boiling pots dry because I don't remember that I've started to boil water, and go do something else. So far I've not left the house and done that, but I am terrified that i will, or forget to pick up the kids, or something equally awful. Right now I have some basic nutritional guidelines to start with, and will go back next week for my full plan. I will be dosed with my constitutional remedy, and possibly more supplements... right now I am on two supplements, one for the pre-diabetes (oh forgot to mention that, see? and it's part of the adrenal fatigue) which is for glycemic and immune support (my immune system is practically non-existent at present)... and I am also on another adrenal support formula with immune support that contains several herbs and also adreneal, adrenal cortex, etc. It will take about two months to really feel any change from the supplements, but now that I know what I am dealing with, I can be patient and dig my heels in and do whatever it takes. I have a feeling that the dietary changes will be something major like no gluten, or giving up something that I dearly love, but I'm prepared to do that, too. Whatever it takes. I'm just so relieved at knowing what is wrong, and that I am not imagining it or making it up or any of the other things that I have heard, or that I've "let myself go", whatever. So here's to finding me again... I know I'm in there, somewhere.
Monday, 23. June 2008, 14:34:08
quiz, Environment, fluff, too much coffee
...
No I haven't cheated on anyone, except my blog... not a real entry, but here ya go.
I'm suess and
I'm a Swordfish.
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