Heav’n has no Rage like Love to Hatred turn’d,

...you know it's hot when the air conditioner is set on 80 and it feels like satans asshole when you step outside. The only thing keeping me from melting is the sarong i'm wearing.

So my grandfather is turning 80 and is dying of cancer so my sister and I have decided to drive the 1700 miles to Minnesota (with children and dogs in tow) to attend his bday bash. That should be interesting. It would be awesome if we were close, but after years of our little gang being the black sheep of the family i'm not so sure. Meh, i'm going to try and not be petty and rise above it. Today was a rough day. My sister and I are dog sitting three dogs and the old sweet bulldog had a heart attack and died today. What terrible timing. We can't get a hold of his owners either; one is in Bahrain and the other is in China.

It has been a stressful day to say the least. I think I may just say screw it and go to the powow the sundancers are having behind my sisters house. I can hear their drums even now (I'm being serious...I couldn't make that shit up). Gotta love Texas.

To Do This

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together. (You can use paint as well!)

Candice
ah well maybe that was mean

Jason
well, first thing when you get back, we're going to have a drink and let you vent

Candice
but he is pretty worthless when it comes to pretty much everything

Jason
candice, in the entire time we've known each other, we've been nothing but vicious to almost everyone except each other when we talk

Candice
...point taken lol

Jason
don't know why that is, we just seem to think we're safe to vent to each other
a lot is probably because we travel in completely different social groups

Candice
mmm i tend to think its because we are maniacal and evil and bent on world domination

Jason
well, that goes without saying, its a thought centered on us
thats like me saying im drunk, its usually a given

Candice
hahahaha or saying im a blunt bitch
quite definitive

Jason
yea
but i respect the hell out of you

Candice
well i think we get along with each other bc we are who we are
100% all of the time
we dont front

Jason
pretty much
and 99% of the time, we do what think is right and damn the consequences

Candice
also correct

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 50 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is cheating.

My List


1. This goes out to all the women in the world, it don’t even matter your age, it don’t even matter your color.
2. Hello? Whats happenin world?
3. Don't turn away under the sun I stand over the wings of fallen angels.
4. Took a walk to the corner store just to buy a loaf of bread and a box of smokes.
5. Uh uh Miami, uh uh south beach bringing the heat.
6. I cant escape this hell so many times ive tried.
7. Well we all have a face that we hide away forever and we take them out and show ourselves.
8. The shadow of your smile when you have gone will color all my dream and light the dawn.
9. All the, small things true care, truth brings. (dead give away)
10. Lights out, I still hear the rain.
11. Theyre gonna clean up your looks with all the lies in the books to make a citizen out of you.
12. Take your head around the world see what you get from your mind
13. His little whispers. Love Me. Love Me. That's all I ask for. Love Me. Love Me.
14. In sickness, assault, on a tile floor bear witness of another baby born.
15. This is where the helicopters came to take me away this is where the children used to play.
16. No time for goodbye he said as he faded away don't put your life in someone's hands they're bound to steal it away.
17. Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.
18. I wanna wake up I've been walking in my sleep to long wake up I'm so sick of dreaming.
19. The stone grinds for the very last time.
20. Take me to a hotel room and tie me to the bed of my mistakes kiss me like I paid for this please don't stop 'till you've raped all my faith.
21. We go together like ramalamama ridinkydink dong (or something like that).
22. Who really cares? Who really cares? When I talk? What I feel? What I say?
Nobody not really.
23. That is it last time i am stupid enough to take that i corrupt your f**king world it ain't like no phat motherf**ker's gonna listen to me anyway.
24. I count the days that we have spent apart.
25. I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone.
26. Girl your boobies look real nice to me tonight lets have a pillow fight I know your tight that’s when we turn off the lights.
27. If your havin girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one.
28. Don’t solve the problem when danger is bitter.
29. Where’s all my soul sisters let me here ya flow sisters.
30. I need to find the light to shine my way through
31. Everytime I try to leave something keeps pulling me back.
32. Blue moon you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart without a love of my own.
33. Lights go down it's dark the jungle is your head can't rule your heart
34. Straight as an arrow defect, defect.
35. Since Im putting down all of the true things around, but I like it.
36. All I know is that you're so nice you're the nicest thing I've seen I wish that we could give it a go see if we could be something.
37. Tell me lies slap me on the face just improvise do something really clever that'll make me hate your name forever
38. Ive been meaning to tell you Ive got this feelin that wont subside I look at you and I fantasize you are mine tonight now Ive got you in my sights.
39. Here is your broken character, the one left of heaven.
40. I watched the proverbial sunrise coming up over the Pacific and you might think I'm losing my mind, but I will shy away from the specifics.
41. Of course this land is dangerous! All of the animals are capably murderous.
42. Cast off the crutch that kills the pain, the red flag wavin' never meant the same.
43. One more night show me things that I never knew this night it feltright to be near you
44. I hear you choking on your words again the secrets in your throat and I really wish you'd say what you're thinking
45. Are you gonna turn me on or are you gonna turn on me?
46. I don't need a whole lotta money I don't need a big, fine car I got everything that a girl could want I got more than I could ask for.
47. It’s a quarter past four I packed my bags with less things than we hold in conversation, if that’s even possible.
48. Let's keep the fire tape on, we'll keep our hands hot I cannot get that ace so let me see a face card drop
49. Gave in again the bastard can't keep refusing rights.
50. Sometimes I feel I've got to run away I've got to get away (it’s the marilyn manson version)

So i asked Zak today how many times he had told Jessica that she was beautiful. The right answer would have been "never" but of course Zak's answer was "a few times since we started talking again". Once is happenstance, twice is a coincidence, but three times is a trend especially if it is occurring in only three months. So now the real question is why would someone make a trend out of telling someone other than their wife, girlfriend, family member, or close friend that they are beautiful? The answer: they wouldn't without some kind of alternate agenda. I suppose the context of said compliment would also be important. A simple your beautiful is a kind thing to say to someone, especially when they are thinking otherwise. However, i think "Your fiance was an idiot to leave you, your beautiful, i would never do that to you" coming from MY BOYFRIEND to some other chick is a bit suspicious. Now...there really isn't any way to read too deeply into that, its a pretty shallow comment in the understanding department. Not really a whole lot of room for interpretation. And so here i sit, baffled and hurt. What in the world have i done to deserve being plagued by such men? Or alternately, if its not them, and its me, than how in the world do i allow myself to be attracted to such men initially? I think i just need to get away from this situation and this place. I need a fresh start in a place where no one knows me. Sometimes goodbye is a second chance i suppose. I just wish it wouldn't have been this way. Why do people lie? Especially when there are no real repercussions in this case for telling the truth. I especially love how Zak denied his minor indiscretions early in our relationship and finally recently admits to it saying "yes i did those things but it was a long time ago, cant you just get over it." If there was one thing i could telegraph to all men it would be to not ever tell their significant other to "just get over it". Any words that would come before or after that phrase are just going to end up sounding like some kind of lame ass excuse for whatever you are trying to not be accountable for. It makes them look like an idiot and generally just pisses me the fuck off. Its never anything small either, its never "ok so i broke that plate two months ago, just get over it". Its always "ok so i went to go see my ex and lied to her about you existing and asked her if she would ever date me again, but that was 6 months ago, i dont care how that made you feel, just get over it." That's like telling someone "so what if i drugged you and stole one of your kidneys to sell on the black market, it happened a year ago, why cant you just get over it". Im not sure if its just him, or if all men are really that clueless. In my personal experience it not that i want someone to feel guilty, or for something to follow them around like a little monkey on their back, most of the time im not even looking for an apology i just want him to act like he gives a shit. Is that really so much to ask? I dont think so. Candice's expectations: 1. Give a shit. That's it. See. Not so hard.