Cheesey Delight

And I love Jai.

Not the 'prince of my dreams' way in which I love Kartik. But the 'he makes me smile' kind of best-friend love. Though I have no idea whether he ever would think that highly of me after all that I am putting him through. But I shall deal with that later.

Let me first vent out all the emotions I have tucked away as far as Hetal is concerned. Dont get me wrong. I know she does not mean anything negative. But to be honest? I dont give a rats ass to what she means or what she does not! Did I actually say rat's ass? I must be really mad!

It all began with her screeching in her fake accent. "You can not possibly wear that!" She said sounding like the American who had never set foot outside India.

For the dinner, which Kartik had found time to inform me would be at the Leela, I had chosen to go all simple. I was going with my parents after all! And the conservative background that they come from, they would have a heart attack if I dressed in the Christian Dior dress I had been found kissing in! Thankfully the photograph did not have enough space to click more than a portrait shot of that kiss. The sheer length, or the lack of it, would have my mom dragging me on a shopping spree through chandni chowk to pick up oversize salwar khameezes.

Hetal had no such problems. She looked like she had been dragged out of a photo shoot for Cosmopolitan. Her white rumpled skirt, which admittedly was calf-length, was frayed at the edges making her ankles look sexier than they really were. She had topped the skirt with a teal blue Spaghetti strap which scooped at the center of her boy-ish chest, giving the illusion of a cleavage. Why didn't my parents ever say anything to her? Why was it okay for Hetal to dress like a high end slut, but not okay for me to wear anything sleeveless? I tried to calm myself down. It did not bode well to start the evening on an ignited temper.

"I am fine!" I told her with a tight smile.

"Sometimes I do wonder why Jai flipped for you!" Hetal shook her head at me, careful not spoil her painstakingly done hairdo. "You don't take the time out for yourself! This is supposed to be your engagement for crying out loud! And you look like you are dressed for a funeral."

I was about to open my mouth to say something when mom interrupted. "Hetal is right beta! Wear a saree. Put one some jewelry. You cant look like its Hetal's engagement and you are the tag along!" Without waiting for Hetal's reaction, she walked to my wardrobe and threw open the doors. The only saree I had was a green Georgette with a gold border. Shirish (my ex-boyfriend who was an asshole enough to be cheating on me with ayesha) had gifted me the saree years ago. Or so it seemed. I loved it. I had even gotten a golden halter neck stitched with the saree. It was supposed to be my seductive gift to him.

Mom had pulled out the scrap of gold that promised to be my halter neck blouse and was eying it critically. I was going to faint of sheer embarrassment. I knew what my parents thought of women who wore revealing clothes. I mentally braced myself for another lecture of 'out of hand' I had gotten. Mom just shrugged her shoulders and said, "I suppose this will have to do!"

"What?" I gawked.

"If Jai has no complaints about you dressing this way, then neither do we!" She stated very matter-of-factly.

Under the supervision of Hetal and Mom I donned on the Saree gifted by ex boyfriend and dressed up for a fake engagement to a guy I did not love, while the guy I loved watched on. Weird are the ways of life eh?

Kartik picked us up at sharp seven. To say he looked handsome would be grossly demeaning. He looked like a greek God stepped down from heavens, right into my nightmarish dream. He was wearing a deep blue shirt which hugged his muscled chest and made my mouth go dry. He shook hands with Baba and mom and gave Hetal a brief hug.

I silently climbed into his car. Sandwiched between Hetal and Mom I eyed his back as he folded himself into the driver seat. This was the man I loved. My heart beat a little faster and I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to cry. Hastily I looked out of the window.

"You did not tell me Jai had such a handsome friend," Hetal clutched my hand and whispered in my ear. I think this was the point when I truly started hating her. "God!" She groaned, still whispering,"Such men really do exist! He is so hot, I could have an orgasm just looking at him!"

I was dumbstruck!

My cousin who was two years younger to me and her never set a foot outside home without an escort was talking about orgasming! There was definitely something I had missed out while I was growing up!

"Is he single?" She whispered.

"No," I was quick to reply.

"Married?" she pestered

"Not really," I wish I had lied. After all after lying so blatantly about Jai, I should have been an expert at it.

"Then he is still open game!" She announced. Her grin widened by an inch and I was really tempted to smack it right off her face. "You know if you had any sense at all you would be roping in Kartik instead of Jai." She continued whispering. "Not that Jai is not hot." She hastily corrected. "He is brutally hot. But Kartik is hot AND rich!" I did not miss the emphasize on 'and.' Having made her point Hetal snuggled back in her seat and set out to watch Kartik in the rearview.

I wanted to bury her.

"So you are Jai's Boss," Baba asked Kartik.

"More of a friend really," Kartik smiled. At that moment I loved Kartik with all my heart.

When we reached Leela, Jai was nowhere to be seen. Baba hated people who did not stick to their time commitments. I started palpitating. Kartik had booked a table for us. Conversation was awkward. Kartik seemed at a loss at what to say. I was too nervous to do anything. Hetal ogled Kartik openly. Kartik either did not notice or didnt seem to mind.

Twenty minutes later Jai walked into the restaurant. He came straight to me and enveloped me in a big, tight hug. "You look ravishing!" He smiled at me. Once again he touched Baba and Mom's feet and I could sense some of the anger leave Baba.

"Hey Kartik!" Jai slapped Kartik's shoulder as he slipped into a chair on Kartik's right, "thanks for picking them up!"

"No problem" Kartik shrugged uncomfortably. Even I was taken aback at the slapping it. But I guess when guys a friends they are a little violent!

"You are late," Baba was emphatic.

"And I am really sorry about it!" Jai smiled apologetically. "There was this meeting which went on forever. Finally I had to tell them I was getting late for my engagement. That was the only way they let me come!"

"What did the HD guys have to say?" Kartik asked. It was so insensitive of him to encourage work talk at this dinner table that I wanted to whack him on the head. Kartik had actually placed his elbows on the shoulders and was leaning on them with an eager expression on his face. Somewhere I realised that by making Jai report to him then and there he was making his seniority at work very evident. That was downright mean.

"Oh actually they would have loved to have you at the meeting!," Jai smiled back. Was I the only one who noticed the lack of humor in his smile? "But I told them how excited you were to meet my fiance's parents, that they understood!"

Kartik narrowed his eyes. I looked down at my hands in my lap. Jai was raving mad.

"So what do we order then?" Jai asked smiling at Baba and mom. "I hear the tandoori chicken here is out of this world!"

I went pale. My eyes widened and I stared at Jai. He was looking at Baba and grinning his boyish smile.

"Actually we are vegetarians" Mom said tartly.

"Really?" Jai asked still smiling.

"That's so insensitive Jai," Kartik scolded him. "The least you could have done is asked them their preferences. It wouldnt hurt for you to go vegetarian for an evening!"

"But that would make them think I am vegetarian," Jai defended.

"And that would be such a bad idea because?" Kartik asked and I had to stop myself from nodding in agreement. Why couldnt Jai have lied about being a non-vegetarian.

"Because that's not me!" Jai said with a touch of melodrama. "Marriage is about becoming a family. A family is not built on pretenses. I am a non-vegetarian. Its who I am! Take it or leave it! Right Baba?" Jai turned and stared right at Baba. I gulped. Even mom gulped.

Baba looked at Jai for an entire minute before saying, "I actually have always wanted to try chicken!"

"What?" I squeaked even before I realized I had.

"Every time I go to France for the jewelry exhibition, trust me the chicken looks more delicious than any salad I am having," Baba said earnestly. "I just want to try it once! Just once!"

"This is against our religion!" Mom protested.

"Everything we do is against some religion," Baba huffed. "I respect Jai for being man enough to be himself! And if my son-in-law wants me to try tandoori chicken, I will!"

"Of course I want you to try tandoori chicken!" Jai grinned. He then looked at mom, "Dont worry. I promise nobody back in Gujurat will ever hear about. Top secret!"

Mom stared at Jai. "Just once, please?" He pleaded in that way which would make any heart melt. Mom smiled and nodded.

There was conversation flowing on the table along with tandoori chicken. Kartik was silent for most part. But Jai? He knew how to make Baba laugh and he knew how to make mom feel beautiful!

For that - I loved him

"Let's go pick a ring!" Baba thumped down the newspaper he was reading and got to his feet. Mom pressed mute and her favorite soap on TV faded into a series of images in the background. Hetal, my first cousin clutched my hand as if it were her right to panic.

"A ring?" I asked Baba.

"If you have been kissing so openly, you might as well get married," he announced.

"Sorry?" I shook my head to clear the fog that was misting around my gray cells.

"We are meeting Jai for dinner, right? We might as well get the two of you engaged then! We can take his patrika back to guruji and fix a suitable date for the wedding," Baba looked into the mirror and stroked his moustache, as if he were already preparing for the dinner tonight.

"I think its a wonderful idea,"mom trilled. Up until then I never knew mom could trill.

"No its not!" I interrupted them. "We cant get married!" I said aghast.

All eyes snapped to me. "What do you mean you cannot get married?" Baba demanded, his voice throbbing under the pressure of keeping his temper in check. "You do not think that you can plaster your face in the headlines of a newspaper and expect to get away with it. Either you will marry this boy or you will pack your bags and head back home with us. I did not raise a daughter to dally around with men in a strange city. Back where we come from, such women have a name, which is not mentioned in polite society."

"I am not dallying with men in a strange city!" I defended myself. I had never raised my voice in front of Baba. But sheer hysteria pushed me into doing so. Instantly, mom was beside me clamping a hand firmly on my shoulder. It was an attempt to lend me strength and stem my hysteria. It achieved neither.

"Dont you love Jai?" Mom asked, her eyes trying to search for answers in my soul.

"If you dont love him, what were you doing kissing him?" Baba thundered. The mention of Jai's kiss brought back memories which made my cheeks flush. Of course it was not the kiss Baba had seen in the newspaper. It was the kiss which had caused the kiss splashed across the newspapers. Yet, it was a kiss which held the power to guide my future. It was a kiss, which still left me a little breathless. I dont know whether it was a drunken memory, or whether the kiss I shared with Jai was really that intoxicating. I guessed if I really wanted to find out, I would just have to kiss Jai when I was not drunk.

"You do love him," mom smiled softly. "It lies in the blush on your cheeks."

What was I doing think of Jai's kisses in the middle of all this chaos! I looked at Baba. He was eying me skeptically. Mom's declaration that I did love Jai had mollified him some, but it hadnt erased his doubts about my intention to marry Jai.

"Of course I love him, " I lied. I did not want to pack my bags, leave my job, leave Kartik and go back home. "But we cannot marry just yet! Jai has certain ambitions. He wants to be in a particular position in life, before he can take up the responsibilities of a married life!" I fabricated.

"And till then he has no scruples about kissing my daughter in public eye?" Dad said disgustedly.

"That's not the case!" I said defensively. "He wants to get married. Why would he meet you otherwise? Its just that I respect his decision to ...erm.. attain his goals... erm.. before.. we.. you know.. settle down.. and .. put each other's wants before our own.. and all that stuff."


Baba and mom were silent for a moment. "I still dont see why you cannot get engaged!" Baba said finally.

Before I could respond, my cell phone buzzed in my jeans. I fished it out. It was Kartik. "Work," I shrugged apologetically and headed to the window to take the call. I was well aware of Baba's eyes on my back.

"Yes?" I demanded impatiently of Kartik. I was still annoyed with him for putting me through all this.

"What the fuck was Jai doing at the airport meeting your parents?" Kartik was livid!

Well so was I! "He was doing what you should be doing!" I whispered angrily. I was very aware that every word of mine could be heard by everybody present in my small studio apartment. I had to choose my words wisely.

"When I asked you to take care of your parents, I had no idea you would take Jai and introduce him to them as your fiance!" He accused. "How could you do this?"

"You did not want to..."I was once again conscious of Mom and Baba pretentiously averting their gazes, while their ears were trained on me. "You did not want to do IT!" I said finally.

"I still dont want to do IT. If IT means marrying you tomorrow!" He said. "But you have no idea what it does to me, to know that you are introducing someone else as your fiance to your folks!"

I said nothing.

"Look I thought about it after you left," he said much calmer now. "Right from the moment you walked into the office, wishbone, I knew there was something different about you. I knew you were special. This relationship we have is special. I dont know where its taking me. I am confused. Its too soon and to too new and I find myself struggling with decisions I have never been forced to make before! But if the choice is between meeting your parents and losing you to some Jai or the other. I'd rather meet your parents! No, I take that back. I want to meet your parents! I want them to know how special you are." There was a long pause and then he added, " to me."

There were tears stinging the back of my eyes. I hadnt known Kartik for long. But I knew him enough to know that such a confession from him was rare. In that moment I did feel special. I knew then, though he had not put it in as many words, that in his own kartik-way, he did love me.

But I couldnt introduce him to my parents! Not now! Not when they had met Jai as the guy who had been kissing me! I could not just go up to them and tell them that I had made a mistake! I could not say that Jai was not the guy kissing me, but it was Kartik. They would definitely put me on the next flight home.

"Its complicated. But I can't!" I said finally.

"You cant what, wishbone?" Kartik said softly and I could feel my insides melt.

"The MTP?" I said helpfully, hoping he would latch on to the abbreviation.

"You cant let me meet your parents?" He asked.

"Precisely!" I was delighted at his intelligence.

"Why not?"

"Because in all probability I am putting a ring on Jai's finger this evening!" I squeezed my eyes shut.I was sure I was breaking his heart into a million pieces. I could hear him breathe heavily down the line. Before he could say anything I added, "Look. Its difficult for me to explain, but I will get monica or Jai to explain everything to you, ok? Its not as bad as it sounds." I added in the end.

My head reeling I turned back to face my parents. "So can we go ring shopping now?" Hetal asked delightedly. My phone buzzed again. "Work!" I chirped gleefully. It was Monica calling.

"How's it going hon?" she sounded paranoid.

"Not so bad," I admitted. There was so much I had to tell her. I wanted to tell her. SO much I wanted her to convey to Kartik. How was I going to do it, with my parents listening?

"That's good! Because things here have just turned horrid!" she giggled nervously. "The bag people want to see your section this evening. "

"What?"

"That's not it! An hour ago, they said tan was too rustic. The new mantra is 'go green.' So the theme should be earthy and green."

"What?"

"Kartik did try and argue with them about the demerits of last minute changes and he did warn them that he had put one of his best designers on their project this far and that a change in theme might mean relegating their task to a different designer..."

"he called me one of his best designers?" A nice warm glow was spreading right through my heart.

"But they threatened to withdraw their sponsorship if their theme wasnt agreed upon. SO the editor stepped in and said we had to change the theme and do it before five today! Which essentially means all your designs are scrapped. We need new ones. New layouts and everything. Kartik is not in office. Jai and he had a major disagreement about something or the other. The editor is up in boughs. The meeting is fixed for five. Its already three. We have two hours to essentially recreate the lifeline of a new issue. We are screwed!"

"Where's Kartik?" I asked.

"I am not his PA sweety. The question is - can you come up with something from home?"

"I dont have a machine!"

"You are doing their most important section!"

"I know! But, I will take another hour just to get to work!"

"Then get to work and put in the most of the hour that you do have!"

"But monica, you know what's happening! I cant!"

"Sweety, all are jobs are on the line. You are just going to have to make this possible!" For the first time since I had known her, Monica hung up on me.

My mind full of work and Kartik I once again turned to face my parents. "Should we go pick the ring?" Mom asked hopefully. The damned ring! I had all but forgotten about it. The phone buzzed again.

"Work!" I hiccuped and turned back to the window. It was Kartik again.

"Do you think you can get to work?" He asked.

"I honestly dont know."

"The HD guys have gone a little bonkers," he explained. "The good part is, they are ready to take slight slack on the other sections. But the main product shoot? They need the layouts today itself. That's your section darling. What do we do?"

"I dont know Kartik. I dont know if I can accomplish it even if I get there! I mean this is my first job! I dont know whether I can wrap an entire section in an hour!" I was panicking.

"Ok." Kartik sounded worried. "Let me see what I can do."

"I am sorry." I whispered.

"Yep." he acknowledged and he hung up.

I walked and sat down heavily on the bed. "Work problems?" Baba asked understandingly.

"Client changed their mind last minute," I replied heavily.

"Do you have to go?" He asked.

"I could. But I dont know if I would be able to help on such a short notice."

"Fine then," Mom chirped. "Let's go pick the ring!"

I looked at mom with disbelief. I wanted to weep, howl, claw, bang my head against a wall, jump down from the balcony, shriek. I wanted to do all of it, all at once. My cell phone beeped. I had a new SMS from Jai.

"Will be late for dinner. There is a circus at work"

"Heard about it. Its ok. " I typed back. I waited for a couple of seconds longer and then dialed his number.

"Missed me sweetheart?" He joked over the line. Even though I knew it was a joke, I couldnt stop a tiny butterfly from making funny rounds inside my stomach.

"Jai, Monica called and then Kartik. Are we going to make it out of this alive?"

"Drama queen! Of course we are!"

"But I have finished off my section in tans and rusts!"

"And Asif and I are sitting here right now and changing it to Chartreuse and Avocado Greens!"

"Martian's my fav!" Asif chirped in from the background.

"You guys are doing my section?" I asked with disbelief.

"It is the one they want to see this evening!" Jai defended.

"No! No! NO! I mean I am flattered. I owe you guys one!" I gasped gratefully.

"You owe me much more than just one, gorgeous," Jai said huskily. Quite against my will, the kiss we shared flashed through my mind and I blushed.

"I'll see you at dinner then!" I said as calmly as I could and hung up.

There were two reasons to be reduced to a mass of quivering nerves.

1. I was attending the 'Playboy' party. Not just any party - THE PLAYBOY PARTY! Its the kind of party which gets covered on page3 and you stand a chance to appear alongside a coveted celebrity in an awkward pose. A tired journalist will write snide remarks about your dressing sense or the lack of it. Every single female in the crowded lounge would have spent a fortune on either having a dress designed exclusively for this event or on buying the most expensive label that was available. Every single female would have spend an even larger amount of time and money being pampered by the experiences ministrations of the best hair dresser and manicurist.

What had I done?

I had woken up on a dreary Saturday, panicked, called Monica and made hasty appointments to go shopping. I needed a dress and I needed it bad. Nothing in my wardrobe was worthy of this huge an occasion. Monica, who ought to have spent her day in whichever parlor she favored was angelic enough to agree to go shopping with me. A quick peek into my bank account revealed that if I wanted something truly gorgeous I was going to have to use the add-on credit card given by my father. I had sworn never to use that card. But a woman's got to do, what a woman's got to do right?

"Do you have any favorite designer?" Monica asked, as she skeptically watched me fumble awkwardly with lock on my door.

"Huh? No. You will not believe this, but back home mom has a favored tailor who comes home takes measurements as stitches nothing more than mom-designed blouses and salwar khameezes. So I have no freaking clue about designer labels. Except of course for the ones I coveted in cosmo."

"Which ones did you covet in cosmo?"

I stopped mid-way on the precarious stairway and smiled. I had fallen in love with cosmo because of this dress. And no matter how hard I tried to forget it, that dress always stayed in my mind. "Christian Dior!" I beamed at Monica. It was Monica's turn to falter. She looked me from head to toe and then shrugged her shoulders. "I suppose we should head to the Dior store then."

"What?" I gasped as I hurried to catch up with her. "Are you insane? Do you have any idea how much a Dior could cost?"

"No. But I have a feeling we shall find out today." I grabbed her by the elbow and tugged her firmly. She whirled around and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Dior?" I questioned.

"You are going to be draped on Kartik's arm, aren't you?" she pointed out. "And Kartik always gets the limelight! You dont want to be seen in a group of Chloe, Dolce Gabanna, Diesel, Balenciaga and Burberry wearing a cheap pick-up from some unheard of market! Trust me these ladies and those high nosed journalists know their labels! And you dont want to appear in the next issue of cosmo as Kartik's biggest mistake!"

Which was reason number two for my anxiety attack.

2. I was going as the date of the most eligible bachelor in India. There was no way I was going to go unnoticed. Every woman was going to wait for me to make a mistake and then pounce on poor little me and tear me to shreds. I was going to appear in every newspaper and every magazine as the new joke of Beau Belle! I could almost read the headlines, "Tamanna - Faux Pas of India's leading fashion magazine!"

Anyway back to the dresses. I completely bought Monica's point and agreed we should head straight to Dior. I think that was the biggest mistake of my life. But I would realise that only later on. We stepped into the grand Dior outlet with me clinging nervously to Monica's arm. Monica smiled confidently at the tuxedo clad salesman and started to explain what we were looking for. I had no idea what we were looking for anyway. My eyes wandered through the store and then screeched to a halt.

There it was! The same dress I had seen in the cosmo! I gulped. My throat seemed dry and itchy. I knew by virtue of being featured in the cosmo it would cost the heaven and earth together. I tried to look away, but my eyes flicked back to the dress.

"Preferrably black," Monica was telling the attendant.

"Red," I croaked. I cleared my throat and said, "Red," a little more firmly. "I am not much in favor of blacks," I told Monica. "Its such a depressive color."

"But red is positively slutty!" Monica insisted. The Red Dress popped in my mind's eye and I gulped again.

"Not all red are slutty you know," I reasoned. "Maybe I should try some."

Monica conceded. I headed straight for the red dress and insisted I had to try it on. The attendant looked at us uncertainly. After all, did a slightly plump, wild-haired girl, clad in jeans and a sequined green kurta over faded blue denims ever buy a dress from Dior? I put a hand on my hip and raised my eyebrows in question. If that dress fit me, there was no way I was not going to buy it!

Despite the corset fitting, the dress had thin elegant straps. The cleavage displayed my boobs to an unfair advantage and made me feel like a siren on a mission. The smooth cloth clung to my body and draped gracefully over my round hips, ending snugly somewhere around the mid of my thighs. I was in love with me in the red dress. Flushed I turned to look at Monica.

Monica's eyes were round with wonder. "This is it!" She announced. " I dont know how you can make red look so sensuous without looking slutty. But this dress is made for you! With this dress you can have Kartik, wherever you want him!"

I grinned and nodded at the attendant, who still refused to believe that we would actually buy that dress. I should have guessed that his uncertainty would have strong roots. The tiny dress cost an unbelievable one lac seventy three thousand! Which is approximately two and a half thousand pounds! I hesitated, but only for a moment. "A woman's got to do, what a woman's got to do," I murmured to myself as I reached for the add on card.

I was going to the event of a lifetime, with the man of my dreams, surely I was allowed to go overboard?

With the Christian Dior firmly tucked in my wardrobe, I took a quick trip to the parlor. I contemplated getting my face professionally done up, but I was already crumbling under the guilt of having spent a fortune on the dress. For once I was glad that dad was a diamond merchant.

I spent a tedious two hours in front of the mirror using all my self-learned skills to apply my make-up. I slipped into the Dior dress and hooked on the red heels (another splurge at LVMH. I was so going to be killed for these spends). Kartik would be here to pick me any minute now.

Five minutes later Kartik called to say he was waiting downstairs for me. I took in a deep breath and put on my best fake smile. Kartik's reaction would determine the fate of my evening for me.

Kartik's eyes widened. "You look..." he said coarsely and then shut his mouth. He gulped and started again, "you look like you walked straight out of a dream!" He smiled seductively at me. All my nervousness evaporated and a different feeling struck roots deep in my stomach.

Kartik floundering? When had that ever happened? I smiled to myself as I slipped into the car. This evening was going to be way better than I had ever imagined.


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