God and Google, Emperor and Baidu
Saturday, 24. February 2007, 15:30:01
上帝与Google，玉帝与Baidu
最早的时候，上帝很无聊，平时只能看看电视听听广播，偶尔玩玩超级玛丽，再就是和圣母玛丽亚通通电话。时间长了，这种生活越发枯燥。上帝觉得这样的生活太乏味，于是他说：“要有网”。然后就有了互联网，计算机都可以连在一起，这是第一天。
光是有互联网也不行，起码得有点东西看吧。上帝说：“要有网站”。然后就有了全世界各种各样的大小网站，上帝在网站上看新闻、看图片，顺便还到论坛上发发贴，觉得互联网有些意思，这是第二天。
圣母玛丽亚看上帝这两天没怎么打电话，比较生气，威胁上帝说要把互联网毁了，上帝觉得这样不好，于是上帝说：“要有即时通讯”。然后就有了即时通讯软件，上帝和圣母玛丽亚在互联网上视频语音聊天，圣母玛丽亚也觉得互联网很好玩，这是第三天。
网站的数量太多了，也不知道那个网站更好看，上帝觉得这样太杂乱，于是上帝说：“要有导航网站”，然后就有了导航网站，上帝觉得分类目录挺好的，这是第四天。
没想到，网站越来越多，网页也越来越多，找分类目录都找不过来了，上帝觉得比较郁闷，心想找个东西怎么这么难呢？但这难不倒上帝，上帝说：“要有搜索引擎”，然后就有了搜索引擎，上帝使用搜索引擎，很快的就可以找到自己想要的东西，上帝觉得非常有成就感，这是第五天。
在第一天上帝搞互联网的时候，远在天界东边的玉皇大帝就从千里眼和顺风耳那里得到了线报。玉帝有点迷惑，“这哥们搞什么东东呢？”问了所有神仙，大家都不知道，玉帝觉得这样不行，我们得与时俱进，向西方学习。玉帝说：“要有中国互联网”。于是中国也有了互联网。
第二天，玉帝上互联网，全是英文网站，除了图片以外，什么都看不懂，玉帝很头大。玉帝说：“要有中文网站”。于是中文网站雨后春笋般的出现了。
第三天，玉帝不爽了，为什么？联系不方便啊，还是要叫千里眼和顺风耳，丫的，太麻烦了，可是ICQ、MSN都是英文的啊？玉帝说：“要有中文的及时通讯。”于是有了QQ.玉帝玩上了QQ，跟王母娘娘聊的很开心。
第四天，中文网站也太多了，看的玉帝眼花缭乱，心情也比较烦乱，就问太白金星怎么办。太白金星这个老家伙说：“好，一得给他们分类，二得推荐些好网站，三得经常有新东西……”玉帝觉得他很罗嗦。玉帝说，你说什么“好一二三”？然后，hao123就解决了玉帝和中国大众上网导航的问题。
第五天，面对几亿的中文网页，虽然有hao123，但要找某些具体的信息实在太难了。玉帝发脾气了：“要找我去年在天庭的新闻发言稿怎么那么难呢？”太白金星凑过来说，上帝那有个Google，挺不错的，推荐你用用。于是玉帝上Google，一眼看过去，全是英文的，玉帝直接爆炸了，回头把太白金星骂了个狗血喷头：“你这什么馊主意？让我用他们搞的东西？没听过国货当自强吗？这个玩意我们得自己搞！”玉帝转过身问文曲星该怎么办，文曲星慢条斯里的吟开场白：“众里寻她千百度，那人却在……”，玉帝说：“千你个头啊，百度！”这一瞬间，百度中文搜索引擎诞生了！
玉帝很满意百度。在百度，不但可以便捷的找到想要的信息，还可以在百度mp3搜索上找些小曲听听，更可以躲开王母偷偷的在百度图片搜索弄几张嫦娥的写真照片看看，更绝的，是玉帝在百度贴吧开了个“玉皇大帝”吧来了解天下百姓对自己的歌功颂德——而这些是Google所没有的。时间长了，甚至在众神仙为某个事上吵个不停的时候，玉帝就会说：“有问题，百度一下！”然后就没问题了。
然而众神仙不明白，为什么玉帝不喜欢同样有中文版的Google，仅仅因为百度更符合中国大众使用习惯吗？后来，玉帝终于自揭谜底：“这些洋网站总说用户是上帝，用户是上帝，用户真的是上帝？在中国，用户是玉帝！”大家恍然大悟。
============================俺是分隔线===I is Separation line========================
Earliest time, God is very bored, usually only can have a look the television to listen to the broadcast, occasionally plays super Mario, again is and Virgin mother telephones. The time, this kind of life even more has been steadily arid. God thought such life too is tasteless, therefore he said: “Must have the net”. Then had the Internet, the computer has all been possible to link in the same place, this was first day.
The light has the Internet not to be good, is minimum the thing to look a little. God said that,“Must have the website”. Then had the world various size website, God in the website looked the news, watched the picture, while convenient also arrived at the forum sends pastes, thought Internet some meanings, this was second days.
Virgin mother looked how God these two days hasn't telephoned, compared with the vitality, threaten God to say must destroy the Internet, God thought like this was not good, therefore God said: “Must have the immediate communication”. Then had the immediate communication software, God and Virgin mother the video frequency pronunciation chats on the Internet, Virgin mother also thought the Internet is very amusing, this is third days.
Website quantity too have been many, also did not know that website is more attractive, God thought like this too is disorderly, therefore God said: “Must have the navigation website”, then had the navigation website, God had thought classified catalogue very good, this was fourth days.
Had not thought that, the website are more and more many, the homepage more and more were also many, looks for the classified catalogue not to be able to look, God thought quite melancholy, thought looked for a thing to be how such difficult? But this cannot baffle God, God said that, “Must have the search engine”, then had the search engine, God has used the search engine, very quick might find the thing which oneself wanted, God thought had the sense of achievement extremely, this was fifth days.
Does Internet in first day God time, far on obtain the informer's or stool pigeon's report in the day east Emperor from the far-sighted person and person who hear distant voices there. The Emperor a little confuses, “east what do this elder brother do east?”Asked all deities, everybody did not know, the Emperor thought like this is not good, we must keep pace with the times, studies to the West. The Emperor said that “Must have the Chinese Internet”. Therefore China also had the Internet.
Next day, on the Emperor Internet, all is English website, besides the picture, anything cannot understand, Emperor very big. The Emperor said that,“Must have Chinese website”. Therefore Chinese website mushroom growth appearance.
Third days, the Emperor has not been feeling well, why? Relation not convenient must be called the far-sighted person and the person who hears distant voices, the bifurcation, too has troubled, but ICQ, MSN all are English? The Emperor said that “Must have the Chinese prompt communication.”Therefore had QQ. The Emperor played QQ, chatted very happy with the grandmother empress.
Fourth days, Chinese website too have been also many, looked the Emperor is dazzled, the mood also compares loses patience, asked how too white Venus does manage. Too white Venus this old fogy said that,“Good, one gives them to classify, two recommendation good website, three has the new thing ...... the Emperor to think frequently” his very prolixity. The Emperor said that, what “well you did say 123”? Then, hao123 has solved Emperor and the Chinese populace accesses the net the navigation question.
Fifth days, facing several hundred million Chinese homepages, although has hao123, but had to look for certain concrete information too to be really difficult. The Emperor has had a fit of temper: “Had to look my how so to be last year difficult in the forehead news text of a statement?”Too white Venus collects said that, God that has Google, very good, recommends you use. Therefore on the Emperor Google, one passes shortly, all is English, the Emperor exploded directly, turned head scolded too white Venus a stream of abuse: “Your this what rancid idea? Lets thing which I use them to do? Has not listened to the domestic products when strives to improve? This gadget we own do!”The Emperor has turned around to ask how the constellation governing scholars and literary persons should manage, constellation governing scholars and literary persons slow strip Si Li recites the prologue: “In the audiences seeks her a lot of, that person in ......, the Emperor said actually”: “Thousand your, hundred degrees!”This flash, hundred degree Chinese search engine was born!
The Emperor is very satisfied hundred degrees. In hundred degrees, not only may convenient find the wish the information, but also may look for a song in hundred degree mp3 searches to listen, may shunt the grandmother secretly to make several Chang E's portrait pictures in hundred degree picture searches to have a look, certainly, was the Emperor pastes in hundred degrees opens “the Emperor” to understand but the world common people to own sang the praises - these are Google no. Time steadily, even quarrels in the numerous deities for some matter at does not stop, the Emperor can say: “Has the question, hundred degrees!”Then did not have the question.
However the numerous deities did not understand that, why the Emperor doesn't like having Chinese version Google similarly, because hundred degrees conform to the Chinese populace to use the custom merely? Afterwards, the Emperor finally from uncovered the truth: “this ocean website always said the user is God, the user is God, and the user really is God? In China, the user is the Emperor!”Everybody is suddenly enlightened.
最早的时候，上帝很无聊，平时只能看看电视听听广播，偶尔玩玩超级玛丽，再就是和圣母玛丽亚通通电话。时间长了，这种生活越发枯燥。上帝觉得这样的生活太乏味，于是他说：“要有网”。然后就有了互联网，计算机都可以连在一起，这是第一天。
光是有互联网也不行，起码得有点东西看吧。上帝说：“要有网站”。然后就有了全世界各种各样的大小网站，上帝在网站上看新闻、看图片，顺便还到论坛上发发贴，觉得互联网有些意思，这是第二天。
圣母玛丽亚看上帝这两天没怎么打电话，比较生气，威胁上帝说要把互联网毁了，上帝觉得这样不好，于是上帝说：“要有即时通讯”。然后就有了即时通讯软件，上帝和圣母玛丽亚在互联网上视频语音聊天，圣母玛丽亚也觉得互联网很好玩，这是第三天。
网站的数量太多了，也不知道那个网站更好看，上帝觉得这样太杂乱，于是上帝说：“要有导航网站”，然后就有了导航网站，上帝觉得分类目录挺好的，这是第四天。
没想到，网站越来越多，网页也越来越多，找分类目录都找不过来了，上帝觉得比较郁闷，心想找个东西怎么这么难呢？但这难不倒上帝，上帝说：“要有搜索引擎”，然后就有了搜索引擎，上帝使用搜索引擎，很快的就可以找到自己想要的东西，上帝觉得非常有成就感，这是第五天。
在第一天上帝搞互联网的时候，远在天界东边的玉皇大帝就从千里眼和顺风耳那里得到了线报。玉帝有点迷惑，“这哥们搞什么东东呢？”问了所有神仙，大家都不知道，玉帝觉得这样不行，我们得与时俱进，向西方学习。玉帝说：“要有中国互联网”。于是中国也有了互联网。
第二天，玉帝上互联网，全是英文网站，除了图片以外，什么都看不懂，玉帝很头大。玉帝说：“要有中文网站”。于是中文网站雨后春笋般的出现了。
第三天，玉帝不爽了，为什么？联系不方便啊，还是要叫千里眼和顺风耳，丫的，太麻烦了，可是ICQ、MSN都是英文的啊？玉帝说：“要有中文的及时通讯。”于是有了QQ.玉帝玩上了QQ，跟王母娘娘聊的很开心。
第四天，中文网站也太多了，看的玉帝眼花缭乱，心情也比较烦乱，就问太白金星怎么办。太白金星这个老家伙说：“好，一得给他们分类，二得推荐些好网站，三得经常有新东西……”玉帝觉得他很罗嗦。玉帝说，你说什么“好一二三”？然后，hao123就解决了玉帝和中国大众上网导航的问题。
第五天，面对几亿的中文网页，虽然有hao123，但要找某些具体的信息实在太难了。玉帝发脾气了：“要找我去年在天庭的新闻发言稿怎么那么难呢？”太白金星凑过来说，上帝那有个Google，挺不错的，推荐你用用。于是玉帝上Google，一眼看过去，全是英文的，玉帝直接爆炸了，回头把太白金星骂了个狗血喷头：“你这什么馊主意？让我用他们搞的东西？没听过国货当自强吗？这个玩意我们得自己搞！”玉帝转过身问文曲星该怎么办，文曲星慢条斯里的吟开场白：“众里寻她千百度，那人却在……”，玉帝说：“千你个头啊，百度！”这一瞬间，百度中文搜索引擎诞生了！
玉帝很满意百度。在百度，不但可以便捷的找到想要的信息，还可以在百度mp3搜索上找些小曲听听，更可以躲开王母偷偷的在百度图片搜索弄几张嫦娥的写真照片看看，更绝的，是玉帝在百度贴吧开了个“玉皇大帝”吧来了解天下百姓对自己的歌功颂德——而这些是Google所没有的。时间长了，甚至在众神仙为某个事上吵个不停的时候，玉帝就会说：“有问题，百度一下！”然后就没问题了。
然而众神仙不明白，为什么玉帝不喜欢同样有中文版的Google，仅仅因为百度更符合中国大众使用习惯吗？后来，玉帝终于自揭谜底：“这些洋网站总说用户是上帝，用户是上帝，用户真的是上帝？在中国，用户是玉帝！”大家恍然大悟。
============================俺是分隔线===I is Separation line========================
Earliest time, God is very bored, usually only can have a look the television to listen to the broadcast, occasionally plays super Mario, again is and Virgin mother telephones. The time, this kind of life even more has been steadily arid. God thought such life too is tasteless, therefore he said: “Must have the net”. Then had the Internet, the computer has all been possible to link in the same place, this was first day.
The light has the Internet not to be good, is minimum the thing to look a little. God said that,“Must have the website”. Then had the world various size website, God in the website looked the news, watched the picture, while convenient also arrived at the forum sends pastes, thought Internet some meanings, this was second days.
Virgin mother looked how God these two days hasn't telephoned, compared with the vitality, threaten God to say must destroy the Internet, God thought like this was not good, therefore God said: “Must have the immediate communication”. Then had the immediate communication software, God and Virgin mother the video frequency pronunciation chats on the Internet, Virgin mother also thought the Internet is very amusing, this is third days.
Website quantity too have been many, also did not know that website is more attractive, God thought like this too is disorderly, therefore God said: “Must have the navigation website”, then had the navigation website, God had thought classified catalogue very good, this was fourth days.
Had not thought that, the website are more and more many, the homepage more and more were also many, looks for the classified catalogue not to be able to look, God thought quite melancholy, thought looked for a thing to be how such difficult? But this cannot baffle God, God said that, “Must have the search engine”, then had the search engine, God has used the search engine, very quick might find the thing which oneself wanted, God thought had the sense of achievement extremely, this was fifth days.
Does Internet in first day God time, far on obtain the informer's or stool pigeon's report in the day east Emperor from the far-sighted person and person who hear distant voices there. The Emperor a little confuses, “east what do this elder brother do east?”Asked all deities, everybody did not know, the Emperor thought like this is not good, we must keep pace with the times, studies to the West. The Emperor said that “Must have the Chinese Internet”. Therefore China also had the Internet.
Next day, on the Emperor Internet, all is English website, besides the picture, anything cannot understand, Emperor very big. The Emperor said that,“Must have Chinese website”. Therefore Chinese website mushroom growth appearance.
Third days, the Emperor has not been feeling well, why? Relation not convenient must be called the far-sighted person and the person who hears distant voices, the bifurcation, too has troubled, but ICQ, MSN all are English? The Emperor said that “Must have the Chinese prompt communication.”Therefore had QQ. The Emperor played QQ, chatted very happy with the grandmother empress.
Fourth days, Chinese website too have been also many, looked the Emperor is dazzled, the mood also compares loses patience, asked how too white Venus does manage. Too white Venus this old fogy said that,“Good, one gives them to classify, two recommendation good website, three has the new thing ...... the Emperor to think frequently” his very prolixity. The Emperor said that, what “well you did say 123”? Then, hao123 has solved Emperor and the Chinese populace accesses the net the navigation question.
Fifth days, facing several hundred million Chinese homepages, although has hao123, but had to look for certain concrete information too to be really difficult. The Emperor has had a fit of temper: “Had to look my how so to be last year difficult in the forehead news text of a statement?”Too white Venus collects said that, God that has Google, very good, recommends you use. Therefore on the Emperor Google, one passes shortly, all is English, the Emperor exploded directly, turned head scolded too white Venus a stream of abuse: “Your this what rancid idea? Lets thing which I use them to do? Has not listened to the domestic products when strives to improve? This gadget we own do!”The Emperor has turned around to ask how the constellation governing scholars and literary persons should manage, constellation governing scholars and literary persons slow strip Si Li recites the prologue: “In the audiences seeks her a lot of, that person in ......, the Emperor said actually”: “Thousand your, hundred degrees!”This flash, hundred degree Chinese search engine was born!
The Emperor is very satisfied hundred degrees. In hundred degrees, not only may convenient find the wish the information, but also may look for a song in hundred degree mp3 searches to listen, may shunt the grandmother secretly to make several Chang E's portrait pictures in hundred degree picture searches to have a look, certainly, was the Emperor pastes in hundred degrees opens “the Emperor” to understand but the world common people to own sang the praises - these are Google no. Time steadily, even quarrels in the numerous deities for some matter at does not stop, the Emperor can say: “Has the question, hundred degrees!”Then did not have the question.
However the numerous deities did not understand that, why the Emperor doesn't like having Chinese version Google similarly, because hundred degrees conform to the Chinese populace to use the custom merely? Afterwards, the Emperor finally from uncovered the truth: “this ocean website always said the user is God, the user is God, and the user really is God? In China, the user is the Emperor!”Everybody is suddenly enlightened.
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