My OperaThe Souling Machine
Saturday, November 1, 2008 4:54:37 PM
At first the report was not believed.. just impossible, obviously a misunderstanding if not an error or outright insane deviation. Still, a few looked into it because at last, they had nothing else to do.
Their investigation yielded several irrefutable, and irrelevant facts:
1 The original Patent application for Souling Machine #1 occurred on March 10, 1919
2 The Patent was granted on March 30, 1920
3 Since the original design had been obtained through Divine Intervention, no changes to the design had been required since the first SM was manufactured in 1922.
4 None of the millions of Souling Machines has required maintenance or repair.
5 This does not count the 375 machines which were totally destroyed by accident in 1945 nor the 44 machines lost at sea in 1960.
6 The 6.7 billion (6,784,344,512) souls which were in use at the time of the report were 100% flawless.
7 All souls (see #4 above) which were in use at the time of the report were still under each soul’s lifetime warrantees, guarantees, and unlimited service plans.
8 There had been no failure sited of any Souling Machine in any of the 19 million sites where they had been installed.
Of course there are lies, damned lies and statistics. The truth of the Report became apparent as the year 2008 unfolded with no souls becoming available to any Souling Machine regardless of the accuracy of the multi-pointed inquiry mentioned above. The debate now rages over whether the Mayan Long Count has somehow become relevant to the scarcity of souls. Differences in calculating the various Eastern and Western calendars and computing corresponding dates in the Mayan Long Count indicate that the actual end of the MLC could have occurred as early as November 1, 2007. But this is true only if the Celtic calendar is considered. The majority of those who have investigated thoroughly enough to form valid opinions have taken the position that this coincidence is just that: a coincidence. Believers in synchronicity will obviously raise an alarm at that.
In conclusion, it must be pointed out that the Report makes no prediction as to when or whether souls will once again become available. If they do become available, there is no doubt that every Souling Machine will once again work at 100% accuracy and efficiency. There should be no doubt in that regard.
Their investigation yielded several irrefutable, and irrelevant facts:
1 The original Patent application for Souling Machine #1 occurred on March 10, 1919
2 The Patent was granted on March 30, 1920
3 Since the original design had been obtained through Divine Intervention, no changes to the design had been required since the first SM was manufactured in 1922.
4 None of the millions of Souling Machines has required maintenance or repair.
5 This does not count the 375 machines which were totally destroyed by accident in 1945 nor the 44 machines lost at sea in 1960.
6 The 6.7 billion (6,784,344,512) souls which were in use at the time of the report were 100% flawless.
7 All souls (see #4 above) which were in use at the time of the report were still under each soul’s lifetime warrantees, guarantees, and unlimited service plans.
8 There had been no failure sited of any Souling Machine in any of the 19 million sites where they had been installed.
Of course there are lies, damned lies and statistics. The truth of the Report became apparent as the year 2008 unfolded with no souls becoming available to any Souling Machine regardless of the accuracy of the multi-pointed inquiry mentioned above. The debate now rages over whether the Mayan Long Count has somehow become relevant to the scarcity of souls. Differences in calculating the various Eastern and Western calendars and computing corresponding dates in the Mayan Long Count indicate that the actual end of the MLC could have occurred as early as November 1, 2007. But this is true only if the Celtic calendar is considered. The majority of those who have investigated thoroughly enough to form valid opinions have taken the position that this coincidence is just that: a coincidence. Believers in synchronicity will obviously raise an alarm at that.
In conclusion, it must be pointed out that the Report makes no prediction as to when or whether souls will once again become available. If they do become available, there is no doubt that every Souling Machine will once again work at 100% accuracy and efficiency. There should be no doubt in that regard.
