The Uncouth

Honeymoon


What is the difference between the first honeymoon and second?

FIRST HONEYMOON : NIAGARA
SECOND HONEYMOON : VIAGRA








IT Heights...

HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.

HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.

HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'

HEIGHT OF TIME PASS:
A person sending email to himself.

HEIGHT OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you By some one in the receiving chain.

HEIGHT OF BROWSING:
U r swimming in the water tank and shout "F1 F1 F1 " instead of shouting "HELP" when u are unable to swim.










Monk!


A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a
monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says,

"My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks
graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next
morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears
the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next
morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."


The man says, "All right, all right. I'm *dying* to know. If the only
way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I
become a monk?"


The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades
of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find
these numbers, you will become a monk."


The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and
knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the earth
and have found what you have asked for.


There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382
sand pebbles on the earth."


The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now
show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it,
only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks,
who provide it. Behind that door is *another* door, this one made of
sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,
silver, topaz, amethyst...


Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The
man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and
behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

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But can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.