My OperaRoaches (A Short Story)
Saturday, March 24, 2007 12:49:43 PM
God. Hot in the house today.
Too hot.
Figure it would have cooled down now that the sun’s gone down, though.
Some hope.
Patio.
Hey, yeah … why didn’t I think of that before?
Ahh … !
Smoke.
Yeah.
What’s … ?
Itchy bloody thing.
Ahh … ‘bloody’ being the operative word.
Wonder where I picked that up?
Mosquito bite I scratched in my sleep, probably.
Keep scratching at it, it’ll never heal …
Ah, well …
… just something on my leg.
Bleeding a little, though.
Bugger it. It’ll stop soon enough.
Can barely see out here.
Should’ve turned the light on.
Oh, well.
What the hell … ?
Lighter’ll show me …
… cockroach!
Get away from it ya bloody disgusting …
Oh, eww!
Right on my leg where it was bleeding …
There ya are, ya bastard …
Oh.
Waste of a perfectly good potplant.
Mmm …
… actually … now I feel kind of …
… sorry for it.
I mean, cockroaches are living creatures, too. It’s not their fault they’re considered filthy and disgusting.
Probably very clean insects, really.
I’ve seen insects cleaning themselves.
Cockroaches are probably the same …
Damn.
Now I am officially weird.
Feeling sorry for a cockroach …
Still …
… poor thing was probably only looking for some food.
But the scab on my leg … ?
Well, no … the blood that came from the scab on my leg after I scratched it attracted it, I suppose …
I am such a sap.
But …
… I really feel bad for that poor little thing now.
Blood’s probably very nutrient-rich for it.
I wonder …
I wonder if it’ll come back …
… what?!
Lighter’ll show me …
… there you are!
Aw … y’know …
… sorry I tried to kill you with that potplant.
Okay … this is a little disgusting.
Right up to the scab on my leg, eh?
Not going to take much, though, are you?
No …
… ow!
Actually took a tiny little chunk out of me! Right at the edge of the scab, too … !
All right … my first instinct is still to kill you …
… but I won’t.
Not your fault you’re considered disgusting.
Just after a feed, aren’t you.
Poor little thing.
Actually, you’re kind of nice-looking …
… the way the light from my lighter shines off your wings …
… amazing little creature.
Ow!
Okay … that’s okay.
He won’t eat much.
Hey … there’s another one …
… amazing! A completely different species and it crawls right up on my leg.
Just like your mate, eh?
Ow!
All right, fair enough.
I can spare it.
I can …
… I can …
… another one.
What’s wrong with me … ?
Sitting here like a sap feeling sorry for ‘em when they’re taking bites out of …
… I should be …
… I should be …
… sitting too long …
… how long have I been …
… legs …
… numb …
… can’t move!
Another one … !
Ow!
Biting me …
Another one …
… right up my leg …
Ow!
Another one …
… and another …
… where are they all coming from … ?
Ow!
Agh!
Oh, God …
… hundreds of ‘em … !
Copyright © 2007 by David Scott Aubrey
All Rights Reserved
558 Words
This short story is a work of fiction. Any and all names, characters and/or incidents are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Where any such resemblance may exist to actual persons (living or dead), actual events or locales, it is purely coincidental.
Please don't assume that my characters speak for me or carry my own opinions on various matters in any way, shape or form (though some might … you never can tell).
Too hot.
Figure it would have cooled down now that the sun’s gone down, though.
Some hope.
Patio.
Hey, yeah … why didn’t I think of that before?
Ahh … !
Smoke.
Yeah.
What’s … ?
Itchy bloody thing.
Ahh … ‘bloody’ being the operative word.
Wonder where I picked that up?
Mosquito bite I scratched in my sleep, probably.
Keep scratching at it, it’ll never heal …
Ah, well …
… just something on my leg.
Bleeding a little, though.
Bugger it. It’ll stop soon enough.
Can barely see out here.
Should’ve turned the light on.
Oh, well.
What the hell … ?
Lighter’ll show me …
… cockroach!
Get away from it ya bloody disgusting …
Oh, eww!
Right on my leg where it was bleeding …
There ya are, ya bastard …
Oh.
Waste of a perfectly good potplant.
Mmm …
… actually … now I feel kind of …
… sorry for it.
I mean, cockroaches are living creatures, too. It’s not their fault they’re considered filthy and disgusting.
Probably very clean insects, really.
I’ve seen insects cleaning themselves.
Cockroaches are probably the same …
Damn.
Now I am officially weird.
Feeling sorry for a cockroach …
Still …
… poor thing was probably only looking for some food.
But the scab on my leg … ?
Well, no … the blood that came from the scab on my leg after I scratched it attracted it, I suppose …
I am such a sap.
But …
… I really feel bad for that poor little thing now.
Blood’s probably very nutrient-rich for it.
I wonder …
I wonder if it’ll come back …
… what?!
Lighter’ll show me …
… there you are!
Aw … y’know …
… sorry I tried to kill you with that potplant.
Okay … this is a little disgusting.
Right up to the scab on my leg, eh?
Not going to take much, though, are you?
No …
… ow!
Actually took a tiny little chunk out of me! Right at the edge of the scab, too … !
All right … my first instinct is still to kill you …
… but I won’t.
Not your fault you’re considered disgusting.
Just after a feed, aren’t you.
Poor little thing.
Actually, you’re kind of nice-looking …
… the way the light from my lighter shines off your wings …
… amazing little creature.
Ow!
Okay … that’s okay.
He won’t eat much.
Hey … there’s another one …
… amazing! A completely different species and it crawls right up on my leg.
Just like your mate, eh?
Ow!
All right, fair enough.
I can spare it.
I can …
… I can …
… another one.
What’s wrong with me … ?
Sitting here like a sap feeling sorry for ‘em when they’re taking bites out of …
… I should be …
… I should be …
… sitting too long …
… how long have I been …
… legs …
… numb …
… can’t move!
Another one … !
Ow!
Biting me …
Another one …
… right up my leg …
Ow!
Another one …
… and another …
… where are they all coming from … ?
Ow!
Agh!
Oh, God …
… hundreds of ‘em … !
Copyright © 2007 by David Scott Aubrey
All Rights Reserved
558 Words
This short story is a work of fiction. Any and all names, characters and/or incidents are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Where any such resemblance may exist to actual persons (living or dead), actual events or locales, it is purely coincidental.
Please don't assume that my characters speak for me or carry my own opinions on various matters in any way, shape or form (though some might … you never can tell).
(14%)
dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsıwickedlizard # Saturday, March 24, 2007 1:03:38 PM
Cleanclean # Saturday, March 24, 2007 1:20:31 PM
Oops ... sorry ... that's 'Nutri-Grain'.
MarcinMargorn # Saturday, March 24, 2007 2:23:02 PM
DavidRavo # Saturday, March 24, 2007 5:35:21 PM
Sarah angel292005 # Saturday, March 24, 2007 6:53:06 PM
Love the story.
Cleanclean # Saturday, March 24, 2007 11:05:17 PM
BTW, I'm sure everyone has heard the joke, but i'll post it here, regardless:
A person is going to the doctor. Doctor says, "What can I do for you today?" Person says, "I've got this terrible flatulence problem". Doctor goes to the corner of the room and grabs a very long pole with a hook on the end of it. Person looks at him in horror and says, "What are you going to do with that?" Doctor says, "See those windows up there? I'm going to open them for a start!"
Boom Boom.
Ravo ... fortunately I live in a part of Australia that doesn't see too many funnelwebs. I'm not saying they don't exist in South-East Queensland, but they're more prevalent down south.
Of course ... no matter where you go in this country you have to watch out for Redbacks ... and King Brown Snakes ... and ...
Sarah ... thank you!
And thank you all for commenting!
Uncle MickMickeyjoe-Irl # Sunday, March 25, 2007 12:35:03 PM
Cleanclean # Monday, March 26, 2007 6:39:58 AM
Tori ... hasn't the poor guy suffered enough? Now his reputation is being maligned! That was tobacco he was smoking!
Uncle MickMickeyjoe-Irl # Monday, March 26, 2007 5:40:48 PM
dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsıwickedlizard # Tuesday, March 27, 2007 12:27:00 AM
Cleanclean # Tuesday, March 27, 2007 12:38:59 AM
orinoco # Tuesday, March 27, 2007 5:18:59 PM
Some say that Cockroaches are cleaner than us...
hungryghost # Wednesday, March 28, 2007 12:20:13 AM
Tsk tsk tsk
Cleanclean # Wednesday, March 28, 2007 2:54:14 AM
Thanks for the link to the article, BTW! Interesting stuff!
JCLJCL_75 # Wednesday, March 28, 2007 4:29:56 PM
Originally posted by Hungryghost:
I couldn't agree with that more! That or they would be drunk on BEER
hee hee!
Take care, clean.
JCL.
Cleanclean # Thursday, March 29, 2007 12:08:25 AM
-demiphonic # Tuesday, April 3, 2007 9:02:03 PM
You are too much David
I HATE YOU!!
Cleanclean # Wednesday, April 4, 2007 1:40:48 PM
And regarding the spam code, click on the link. They explain it all there. It's just a piece of code to generate a bunch of false email addresses back to the spammer's robot. Sure, they might find your own email address on the page, but they'll also get a whole bunch of fake ones returned, too! It wastes their time and - upon their getting their 'returned to sender' message, floods their inbox with all sorts of stuff they have to sort through if they want to get to the few actual replies. It's just something to waste their time (which is kind of revenge-like, because they waste ours).
-demiphonic # Wednesday, April 4, 2007 5:50:25 PM
Cleanclean # Thursday, April 5, 2007 7:44:00 AM
-demiphonic # Thursday, April 5, 2007 4:18:42 PM
Is that all right? cause the code is still there in the post right?
Cleanclean # Friday, April 6, 2007 1:48:10 AM
-demiphonic # Friday, April 6, 2007 2:34:01 AM
Cleanclean # Friday, April 6, 2007 12:43:06 PM
-demiphonic # Friday, April 6, 2007 5:14:07 PM
Cleanclean # Friday, April 6, 2007 11:13:41 PM
-demiphonic # Saturday, April 7, 2007 12:25:02 AM
Cleanclean # Saturday, April 7, 2007 12:28:04 AM
-demiphonic # Saturday, April 7, 2007 1:59:58 AM
(you should have heard how hard I laughed there)
Cleanclean # Saturday, April 7, 2007 11:09:50 AM
Anonymous # Monday, April 25, 2011 11:26:20 AM
Cleanclean # Wednesday, April 27, 2011 10:00:19 AM
Uncle MickMickeyjoe-Irl # Wednesday, April 27, 2011 5:41:07 PM