Go for a fucking walk!
That's right, using Clean's Going for a Fucking Walk method, you, too can lose those extra kilos (or pounds)!
Clean did it! Just ask him!
"Well, Clean, it all started on Tuesday, the 9th of November, 2012, when I had to walk a couple of kilometers into town to get a blood test to check out my cholesterol. At that point, I weighed 131.00 kg (288.81 lbs/20.63 Stone). I got there, got my blood vampired, then walked home. Round trip total: 2 km (1.242 miles). And I was stuffed! I was rooted! Moreover, I'd found something Id never found before - pain in the ball and socket joints connecting my femurs to my pelvis! That's right, they actually ached!"
"Well, I figured it must've been a sign, what, with walking such a pathetic distance and ending up in pain and thoroughly exhausted ... so I decided to go walking every day!"
"I started at a measly 1.3 km (0.81 miles) up to the local shop and back. But - over time - I expanded, adding a block every month or so, until today, 6 months (and a smidge) later, I'm regularly walking 2.80 km (1.74 miles), uh ... mostly every morning! And I plan to expand to roughly 5.00km a day (eventually)."
"Since I started, I've walked a total of 320.00 km I wouldn't have walked if I hadn't started!"
"Thanks to my new Going for a Fucking Walk program of exercise, I've lost an average of 1.83 kg (4.04 lbs/0.29 stone) a month! I'm still a tubby bugger, but it took 20 years to stack on, so it'll take some time to get rid of! Still, I'm not aching all the time, and I seem to have a little more energy!"
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen! At this rate, Clean hopes to be 110 kg by Christmas, 100 kg my the middle of 2014 and 90 kg by Christmas of that year! All thanks to Going for a Fucking Walk!
What will come next? We asked Clean, but he was, as ever, incomprehensible and silly.
"Maybe I'll get into Clean's Lay Off the Fucking Chips, or Clean's Don't Have All That Bread With That! Who can tell?"
Clean's Going for a Fucking Walk is inspired by Stephen Fry, who lost weight by walking.