Monday, 24. March 2008, 07:55:30
sculptor, gordon ramsay, tag, george tuska
...
That's the sound of the tag the lovely Sarah stapled to my ear. 
I'd like to take this opoprtunity to thank Sarah for that. Because of the weight of that tag, I now walk lopsided! 
Actually, JCL tagged me, too ... so that kind of 'evened me up'.
(Now I walk with a stoop!) 
Now ... the rules of this particular tagging game state that I'm to:
1. Link to who tagged you.
Astute readers will have discerned the fact I've already done that.
Next?
2. Post the rules.
Okay.
3. Name 5 people (living or dead) that you'd like to see at one of your dinner parties.
Don't recall ever having had a 'dinner party'. Which doesn't mean I haven't had one, of course. It just means I don't recall it.
Still - given my cooking skills - I suppose I'd have to have people like Gordon Ramsay over, for starters. It'd be funny to make him eat my cooking. 
Of course, if he had a problem with my cooking ("If?!"), I'd have to have some way to ensure he stopped swearing at me pretty damn quickly (lest the delicate tranquility of my dinner party be despoiled by his profanity).
Thus, I'd have Billy Connolly over, to make Gordon laugh so much, he'd choke on his food and die.
That'd shut him up, quick smart.
For guests 3 and 4, I'm thinking groups of people, but - for the sake of this tag - I'll count each group as one person (otherwise this won't work):
The folks from Mythbusters would be interesting to listen to as they conversed with the folks from Top Gear, given both their ... proclivities for ... altering ... cars beyond manufacturer specifications
And last, but not least, Jesus Christ. That's right, Jesus Christ. I could have a fascinating intellectual and spiritual conversation (and I would hit him with the hard questions). But ... he would also be a guest of many talents!
For instance (and, of course), we'd never run out of wine. But that one's obvious!
I'm thinking of things like keeping the entertainment flowing by ensuring that I could remain happily entertained watching Gordon Ramsay choke to death ... hundreds of times during the course of the night ... only to be resurrected again and again!
Name your favorite artist/sculptor.
I'd be hard pressed to decide! I mean, really! I couldn't even narrow it down to a single type of art! I've always liked Surrealism, and the works of Joan Miró, René Magritte and Salvador Dali, but I also like more classical work like that created by Michaelangelo, Da Vinci, and Rembrandt. Rodin, of course. And Dürer gets a look-in, too, of course! In fact, I've got a book about Dürer, but it's written in German, so I can't read it! But that's okay ... I really got it for the pictures. 
From a comic book perspective, it'd have to be John Byrne, Alex Ross, George Pérez, Tim Bradstreet, George Tuska, Jack Kirby (of course), Geof Darrow, John Romita Jr, Brian Bolland, Steve Dillon, Kevin O'Neill, etc., etc.
Y'know ... just off the top of my head ...
I could go on, but I'd quite easily fill 'pages' and ultimately overload the Internet.
Name 2 things you would like to change about yourself.
My lack of super powers.
My lack of ability to find a second answer to this question.
Name 2 things you like about yourself.
My lack of super powers. 
My lack of ability to find a second answer to this question.
Name 2 things you are looking forward to in the future.
Being old, because then I'll have an excuse.
The afterlife (not any time soon, of course), because then I won't have to do so much work! 
4. Tag five people to do the same.
Taking a leaf out of Karen's book ... no.
But ... if you feel like answering these yourself and posting your answers below, tuck in! 
Saturday, 26. May 2007, 01:30:03
hulk, comic, eating people, thing
...
Over the last several years, a lot of comic book 'universes' have been getting 'darker' (i.e., more violent). They've 'held up a mirror to reflect the modern world' as some of them like to say.
At least, that's how it seems ...
The Joker psychologically torturing Commissioner Gordon in Batman: The Killing Joke, by showing him footage over and over (and from multiple angles) of his daughter being shot in the spine is one example. True, it really did show the Joker as a completely insane, amoral and sadistic bastard (and was a good read with excellent art). But, still ...
DC jumped on board The Authority's coat tails (hey, that's how I saw it - perhaps any and all similarities were entirely coincidental) with their own very similar group led by a psycho called Manchester Black in Action Comics # 775, which pitted Superman (the 'overgrown boy scout') against a group who 'did what needed to be done'. 'The old vs the new'. The hero who played by the rules against those who didn't. Some of the members of said group even 'put dibs' on parts of Superman before the battle began.
Things like that ...
Now, I'm not suggesting a return to the camp days of Super Friends, but isn't this trend going a little too far when Solomon Grundy rips off a now-human Red Tornado's arm and eats it as in Justice League of America # 6 (April, 2007)?
Brilliant cover, by the way ... essentially what made me buy the thing (multiple 'levels' on the Amazo robot showing - very clever use of colour and transparency)!
Oops ... fell off!
Want some sauce with that, Sol?Of course, Marvel's Ultimates had their Ultimate Hulk eating the bad guy at one stage (with S.H.I.E.L.D. waiting for the Hulk's system to 'process' him, so they could dispose of the remains and make sure the bad guy was truly gone).
Wolverine had a character pop out one of his eyes and gulp it down like a tic tac (hey - with his 'healing factor', Wolvie grew it back - he's like the ultimate Pez dispenser).
But, really ... as if the whole 'protruding bone thing' in the abovementioned JLA issue wasn't enough, Reddy adds, "The pain ... the pain is ruthless. But not as bad as the image of him e ... "
(Bad writing for a start. I don't care who you are - if someone rips off your arm and eats it in front of you, you're not going to be thinking in even vaguely-coherent sentences. You'll be too distracted by going, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGHHH!!!!! FFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!" But it's also redundant. We know his arm was just ripped off and eaten. We don't need the writing to point it out again. We figured it out when the whole knob of bone - in colour - leapt out at us).
What happened to letting the reader figure it out for themselves? Whatever happened to hinting towards violence in a comic book (with shadows and showing people's reactions, etc), and letting the reader's imagination fill in the blanks (which can, in fact, make things even more dramatic)?
And are all the characters in comics this hungry nowadays, by the way, that they have to be eating each other?
The Codename: X-Men one shot had Magneto with his so-called 'superior species' deciding to eat Iron Man. Canned goods ... yay! That'll see 'em through the winter!
Way to piss all over decades of continuity, by the way, which built up a tragic character who couldn't overcome his past (and, indeed, became it). Chris Claremont must have decided to shred that issue with his teeth! Yes, I'm aware it was an 'alternate continuity' thing. But, still, to see the character being treated so thoughtlessly ...
Doctor Doom (fairly) recently underwent a transformation from science-based to magic-based bad guy (in the past he used both, but mostly tech), when he sought out the woman who loved him when they were younger (before he became Doctor Doom). Using the power of the memory of that love, the energies it created (or something like that - fuck knows), he skinned her then added this to his armour in order to increase the magical side of his nature (as you do).
In my opinion, this shit in a bloody great steaming runnel all over the work of creators who went before, wherein Doom did, indeed, use magic as well as science, but wasn't quite such a barbarian.
In an issue of Iron Man (I think it was around about # 150 ... not entirely sure ... a lot of my comics (around 10,000) are in storage now, so I can't check at the moment), Doom saw his future self, who was kept alive only by machinery. The future Doom said he was merely doing what he had to do in order to survive. But the 'current' Doom said to him, "Nothing could be worth such a loss of dignity". I'd hardly think the Monarch of Latveria - with concern about his dignity - would go around skinning and wearing people!
Oh ... another thing (no pun intended) about that particular storyline in Fantastic Four ... Doom has The Thing bound and being pummelled by The Mindless Ones (extra-dimensional beings with Hulk-level strength, etc). He comes along and picks up two teeth from the ground and goes, "Oh, only two? Never mind ... it's only been an afternoon".
Now, that sort of deliberate violence is quite sickening, to say nothing of being completely out of character! I don't care that it was Mark Waid (who has given us some truly excellent stories in the past and since) who wrote it! He missed the character completely this time! Doom is not barbaric! He's evil ... but he's a monarch! Delighting in teeth being knocked out would be beneath him. Orchestrating the decimation of the FF wouldn't be, but even then he'd be more subdued in his victory, more regal. More along the lines of, "They are all dead ... as I planned ... as it should be".
Checking it out on the net, people revelled in that scene. Me, I shook my head in disgust because the writer was vomiting all over a character (Ben Grimm) who deserves far better.
No, it's not because I'm a delicate petal who can't handle sickening levels of violence that I'm complaining. It's because I want creators to bloody well work for the $ 7.50 I have to pay for a single issue of comics nowadays. I'm not satisfied with them sticking a pencil up their arse and dragging it over a piece of paper to make any old story (metaphorically-speaking) where they don't really have to put much effort in, simply because they opted for the gross-out hardcore as opposed to the story that makes you think and advances the character/universe it's set in.
But (getting back to my original point which started with, "Now that sort of violence is quite sickening"), it's also easy.
C'mon, creators ... don't go for simple shock value. That's the lazy way out! Create a truly scary character, a real villain, without going for over the top gross out chills. Don't give us the cop out! Actually think about it!
Look at Darkseid! Seriously bad-arse super-villain? Yes! And - funnily enough - I can't remember the last time he ate anybody! And Doom was already villainous long before he started his own people-based fashion collection!
Okay, bringing Solomon Grundy back with intelligence was a start (did I mention ol' Sol and a few of his friends ate his 'old' body?) ...
Doom, by the way, used to come up with truly 'widescreen' plans for the destruction of the Fantastic Four (but "without the ultimate humiliation of Reed Richards it means nothing") back in the John Byrne days (and, of course - before that - in the glory days of Jack Kirby!).
(I have an issue with John Byrne's depictions of violence against women over the years, too, but I won't go into that for now).
Can we not get back to hinting at incredible violence, though? And are comic creators nowadays not creative enough to come up with a way to show us just how evil a character is without having them sink below the level of a scavenging hyena, or having a character treating another character's brains as their morning porridge?
If things keep going the way they have been, we're one day destined to see The Wasp walk up to Thor in Avengers Mansion and say, "Want some hot chocolate? I've added a some dessicated Ant Man for that little extra zing".
Or, perhaps, a Hallowe'en issue, where Iron Man asks Captain America what he and She Hulk are doing, to which Cap replies, "We're bobbing for Giant Man's testicles!"
I know I've written some violent stuff (my Rotten Luck short story comes to mind), and drawn some (not posted), and made jokes about cannibalism (look in the very photo section of this Blog), but - then again - I'm not getting paid for it.
Comic Book Creators: Work for my money, dammit! Work!
And improve your characters' dietary habits!
(Yes, I know about Frank Miller's Sin City with 'Kevin' and 'Cardinal Roark's' desperate need for good toothpicks. Love it, too! But you expect that, because it's Noir! You don't expect cannibalism in Justice League).If anyone wants to look into this a little further, I've found the odd forum and suchlike on the Internet which does just that:
Over on
Dash Bag Board of Dumbness it's quite the topic. A user called
Mirthquake Cartoons posted the excellent
A Letter I Sent Dan Didio.
(
Dan Didio is currently the Senior Vice President — Executive Editor, DC Universe of DC Comics).
Scott Shaw's
Oddball Comics has
Eat 'Em Up, Yum Yum: CANNIBALISM In Comics.
Comic Book Resources has
People ... People Who Eat People ... Are the Yuckiest People in the World.
More eyeball-chomping action with Peter Parker losing a peeper in a review of
Amazing Spider-Man # 256 over on
Spoil It.
And, on
ComiXtreme.com, we have
Cannibalism in Comics, where the people posting are (sigh) actually
looking for examples because - from the sounds of it - they think it'd be cool.
Also of interest (generally) is
Sean Twist's
Comic Books Eat My Life and
X-Axis Reviews.
Okay ... I'll shut up now ... besides ... I just saw
Wonder Woman fly past and I want to grab me a hunk of that primo rump to fry up with a lovely red wine sauce!
Scans from Justice League of America # 6, April, 2007, which is Copyright (C) DC Comics and used here for purposes of review. Justice League of America # 6, April, 2007 was written by Brad Meltzer, pencilled by Ed Benes, inked by Sandra Hope and coloured by Alex Sinclair. Cover created by Michael Turner and Peter Steigerwald and Adam Hughes.If you're of a mind, hitch a ride on the arrow of time and come on back next week!
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