My Operamemo of the day
Thursday, March 25, 2010 11:09:43 AM
Just write down sth. in case I could forget them. What I wanna mention are 2 cases I've recently, or to be more exactly, today, "getroffen"(sorry, I've left English in my suitcase for too long to remember those words, maybe someday, I should pick it up.), "met".
Case 1, A boy who stays at home, doing nothing, but spending the past almost 12years(according to his own description) online, playing games, arguing with others about nonsenses, or doing some kind of software research, such as how to make a software more easier for the general to use, but he just did it for fun and never lasts long. Lately, he posted several confession about his regretion online, and seems to have learned from his lessons and wants to start all over again, meanwhile his parents work hard to support his staying at home for the past 12 years.
In this case, one thing is remarkable, the confession. The past 12 years is just a start, people could easily get loss somehow, in different ways, and how long to get out depends on personalities and other facts, so 12 years does not have a specific meaning in this case. But since he took his action to the confession, it makes me believe that he just wants to push the guilty feeling away by means of confession, he wants others to acuse him, then he can keep the "being accused" feeling, and continue considering this "process" is part of the new startover. But indeed, his thought is just the further step of his sickness, and under no psychological or medical direction, he "reads" some psychological treatment online, and set up a "suitable" therapie for himself, without acknowledge of the consequence. I think to this step, he has to pay a visit to a doctor as soon as possible, or he will very soon lose control of himself.
Case 2, a girl, born in 1981, 1.63m, claimed to find someone, who doesnt have to be rich, but have to know her and take care of her. Her childhood is kind of tragedy, she is grown up all way long with the argument between her parents, she cried for that too often and because of that, she kept suffering insecurity when she grew up, very sensitive, but with good memory, which could easily drive a normal people crazy as a consequence of those mixtures. And the most important thing, she is considering at the moment, is to "find someone, she could trust and willing to take care of her during the rest of her life". First of all, to be realistic, this kind of claim should never be mentioned before two people have got alone, especially in this situation. As a outsider, I could easily see her blindness, her incompetence of social communication with other people once it becomes a romance relationship. Unless her childhood issue and the real original cause of her insecurity are solved, the happiness of her future or marriage is just like a mirage, seems so close, but never get a chance to get close to, because it NEVER exists.
In this case, I really see how large the influence of a bad childhood and related personality-damage have done to a person. The childhood doesnt have to be "very good", but a harmonic family sphere, does really a lot good to child for him or her to grow a healthy personality. And as a child, it's not your fault to have a bad childhood, but you have to be aware of that, and stop blaming yourself, and of the most important, is to adjust your mind about your childhood and live your laterafter life as a normal person like the self-recovery function. How many knowledge she has, has nothing to do with her personality.
I felt pity for both of them, and I am also suffering from food poisoning. I have to take a good rest now....
I really hope the world could be better and I am really aware of the truth that I could not save them all.
And I remember tomorrow is vivian's birthday....
So then be it...
Case 1, A boy who stays at home, doing nothing, but spending the past almost 12years(according to his own description) online, playing games, arguing with others about nonsenses, or doing some kind of software research, such as how to make a software more easier for the general to use, but he just did it for fun and never lasts long. Lately, he posted several confession about his regretion online, and seems to have learned from his lessons and wants to start all over again, meanwhile his parents work hard to support his staying at home for the past 12 years.
In this case, one thing is remarkable, the confession. The past 12 years is just a start, people could easily get loss somehow, in different ways, and how long to get out depends on personalities and other facts, so 12 years does not have a specific meaning in this case. But since he took his action to the confession, it makes me believe that he just wants to push the guilty feeling away by means of confession, he wants others to acuse him, then he can keep the "being accused" feeling, and continue considering this "process" is part of the new startover. But indeed, his thought is just the further step of his sickness, and under no psychological or medical direction, he "reads" some psychological treatment online, and set up a "suitable" therapie for himself, without acknowledge of the consequence. I think to this step, he has to pay a visit to a doctor as soon as possible, or he will very soon lose control of himself.
Case 2, a girl, born in 1981, 1.63m, claimed to find someone, who doesnt have to be rich, but have to know her and take care of her. Her childhood is kind of tragedy, she is grown up all way long with the argument between her parents, she cried for that too often and because of that, she kept suffering insecurity when she grew up, very sensitive, but with good memory, which could easily drive a normal people crazy as a consequence of those mixtures. And the most important thing, she is considering at the moment, is to "find someone, she could trust and willing to take care of her during the rest of her life". First of all, to be realistic, this kind of claim should never be mentioned before two people have got alone, especially in this situation. As a outsider, I could easily see her blindness, her incompetence of social communication with other people once it becomes a romance relationship. Unless her childhood issue and the real original cause of her insecurity are solved, the happiness of her future or marriage is just like a mirage, seems so close, but never get a chance to get close to, because it NEVER exists.
In this case, I really see how large the influence of a bad childhood and related personality-damage have done to a person. The childhood doesnt have to be "very good", but a harmonic family sphere, does really a lot good to child for him or her to grow a healthy personality. And as a child, it's not your fault to have a bad childhood, but you have to be aware of that, and stop blaming yourself, and of the most important, is to adjust your mind about your childhood and live your laterafter life as a normal person like the self-recovery function. How many knowledge she has, has nothing to do with her personality.
I felt pity for both of them, and I am also suffering from food poisoning. I have to take a good rest now....
I really hope the world could be better and I am really aware of the truth that I could not save them all.
And I remember tomorrow is vivian's birthday....
So then be it...
