Cofoppyplop = coffee + pop

Before I get to the title I once again got hindered by some womens vindictiveness which makes this situation more difficult. I signed a paper with agreement with my last landlord that my returned deposit was to be sent to my landlords office so she would then relay it to me. I waited 20 days for it this month and finally figured I wasn't going to get it without help from an ombuds service. I do this and the ombuds person calls and informs me that the deposit or the portion I am to get back got sent to my old address instead of the landlords office where it proceeded to collect dust for several days. I forgot to file a change of address so I never got it. I have about two days of waiting to get it.

The A-hole who now runs the Christian Aid Center informs me that despite doing my chores and following their rules, my lack of spiritual growth(according to him) and not looking for work is sufficient to get me thrown out of the mission so I'm to do this two day wait outside as I'm stuck. I told him I needed to use his phone between two hours on weekdays to get some things done he wanted me to do but he never let me in during those times to do that so he didn't try very hard to let me stay. That passes for Christianity these days according to them. Measured and found wanting

After becoming bored with the recent XP install, I downloaded a bunch of Linux disks to burn and try including the long-awaited Mint Elyssa beta only to be thwarted by consistent read errors. I took the burner out and cleaned out the dust bunnies and took a cotton swab of rubbing alcohol (friction booze) and went over the laser with it and cleaned the circuit board and put it back together and it worked a little better but the essential fault is still there. I think what started it was I blew compressed air into the drive when the tray was open while it was still plugged in because a similar mishap killed all 8 of my USB ports and I had to buy a seperate card to return that functionality. So at this point I still have a CD/DVD reader but the burner is not working as evident when I try to burn a disk the green light doesn't even turn red so there's a running contest of whether it sucks, bites, or blows more. That reminds me of the store that used to be in malls in the 80's called Bits, Bytes, and Nibbles.

Anyway, I still had some disks the computers still accepts so I installed a few with the murky half-assed goal of installing Wine and VirtualBox to at last have my go-to Windows apps work in Linux but that is still gold at the end of the rainbow. After a few of these non-successes I decided to give Vista Home Premium another trial. What I don't understand is with Home Premium I get Windows Flip and Aero Glass activated by default but with Ultimate those things are turned off and I basically end up with a 800 pound Home Basic gorilla with the annoying UAC being harder or impossible to deactivate. Also My CPU handles Ultimate alright but always goes to 100% so I couldn't even run Deskbot which for me is a show stopper. What this recent install did really freaked me out and I went running with my provverbial tail tucked between my legs back to XP. I had the Vista Inspirat loading screen as my wallpaper and I noticed a white pixel in the otherwise dark field and I thought 'Oh Crap- a hot pixel in a monitor that's about 10% paid off'. I thought it was Vista being such a burdon to my computer that the power drain was affecting the regulation of it going to my monitor and killing it. A few more white pixels appeared and that's when I had enough. I put XP back on and optimized and fleshed it out and used the same wallpaper and noticed that pixel was still there but the others were gone. I then moved a window border over it and noticed it changed color so it was a fault with the wallpaper that I converted in Linux so I used the unconverted version and voila! no dead pixel!


In other news I'm slowly preparing to leave here before next winter and am getting rid of excess and trying to get over fear of driving and the unknown in general so I can pay the monitor off and do a little travelling to see what other the cofoppyplop weed should spring up.

Well, I've just about accomplished something on myyearbook in one month that I don't have a hope in the world of doing on myopera as this blog is fast approaching its second anniversary--I'm ranked in the top one percent in popularity. It's not that I give a rip about the mock-up quality they tag popularity itself as I've always been a misfit-a jagged pill in a bottle of smooth ones--destined for the wastebasket and more or less at peace with that. What I do like are statistics that have to do with me. I used to take the Tickle tests which were taken by in large by women because of the 'Cosmo' appeal or something but there were tests interesting to me. I took their IQ tests enough times that I got most of them right and supposedly had an IQ of 135. If that were true I sure the hell wouldn't be sitting here doing this. I finally found one that was linked from I think the 'official' Mensa site or similar community of folk so smart they have to keep big metal heat sinks on their foreheads to avoid meltdown--I jest of course. Anyway, I took this IQ that was made to accurately detect IQ's up to 180-some odd I think and I figure if it were accurate up there it would be really effective at telling me exactly where I was and I scored 108 on it-just a skiff better than the center of the bell curve--I'm smarter than 50.00001 or so of whatever population the curve encompassed. Many of those questions were these 20 to 100 faceted shapes presented in unfolded form and you have to be able to tell which sides would touch by mentally putting it back together. I of course tried and of course my method of guessing produced 0 results other than the hey-at-least-I-tried form of self consolation.

I used to have this grudge match with my friends ex-girlfriend because I told her about it and she scoffed at it as not being a true mark of mental ability or somesuch thing and yet she always bragged about her college and was all puffed up and highminded about that. Much of what they teach in college is a lie so if you have no ability to discern truth and believe whatever you are told, then that is just bull fertilizer packed more tightly between those two ears than someone else has. There's many people who go to college and do very well there but the second they get out into the world they are proven to be educated derelicts. Now I do concede that IQ tests are just as fallable and there still isn't a well known IQ test that can measure the true ability of the human mind or map out its deficiencies so accurately that it can lead to therapy for those of us who have certain deficiencies. If Ozzy Osbourne and I had a memory contest--he would win--I can use my mind for anything other than remembering or turning it into gainful employment. I pointed the finger at myself when I saw myself write 'educated derelict' as I went to electronics school in Spokane and did very well, then in the outside world it turns out I needed more than what I got or just wasn't meant to be.

Anyway, back to the purpose of this post or some semblance thereof--Even though I'll never get what some people get here it is more substantive because in order to post something you have to think and all these thoughts collecting in the myopera lint trap catches the eye of readers willing to observe what you are thiking aqnd they even comment on what you write sometimes which is happening more here and I am thankful for that. Myyearbook has the advantege of giving me something trivial to do with my hands and while it was originally made for teenagers and some features are used almost exclusively by teens I find enough there to do when nothing is going on here. In summary Deep here--shallow there. Myyearbook is very much a political machine like these battles for instance asking which one has blue eyes-- the browneyed battler will send messages to as many people as they can telling them to vote that he/she has blue eyes--it really is that rediculous. One thing I like is the lunch money that you can buy certain things with and I got into the bad habit of playing the scratch tickets-If I start doing that with real money I'll know it's time to quit. On here friends were very slow in coming at first but a greater percentage are more substantive such as they like your posts/pictures so they add you while on myyearbook they add people merely by clicking under the userpic instead of having to visit the profile which is good for convenience but bad for popularity which is powered mainly by views from other myyearbook users. If someone viewed that profile from the outside I have no way of knowing it unless they tall me.

I could go on and on and of course I have. My yahoo 360 blog is just about tanked-- I got 35 visits this week down from an all time high of 225 or 250 and the only friends I have on there are from inactive blogs- I think they see that blog as a profile graveyard when their interest is about to take that last breath they see a yahoo version of the pearly gates and a tall, toothless misfit with the keys to open it and my eyes glow red as I extend my skeletal finger out towards them to becken them to their eternal digital abode--but wait, only 3 did that-- is my blog after life not scary enough. Aw come on! Die on my Yahoo blog! I'll be your friend and let you play with my firetruck. Ok time to go to bed. I jumped the shark so many times PETA is after me.

One thing that is so fascinating about dreams is the way they are more independent of time than the waking world at least for those who are clinically sane. Dreams touch the spirit realm wherein is no constraint of time except where focus within the time-ruled realm is concerned.

Last night I had this dream that most likely only lasted a few minutes but while I was in it seemed like a saga that played out over many months. The dream was I was walking through the school field that is near my current residence as I often do in waking life and I was drinking this homemade herbal concoction to correct some minor health complaint and this attourney approaches from the front and makes a citizens arrest of me on the suspicions that I've somehow turned hard drugs into a potable mixture to intoxicate myself in public. You know the way dreams are, the very next scene I was in prison which bore vague resemblance to real ones with several notable exceptions. I don't remember all the dialogue but I remember I did spend some time in a cell (I was very blessed to not have a cellmate)
and the next scene was the layer who arrested me came in supposedly acting as my public defender and I remember him telling me that what I was drinking in the park was in the lab for analysis. At first I was relieved as my name might be cleared but then I thought as hokey as this situation is, he probably doctored it to make me look like I'm using in which case I wouldn't see the light of day again or at least not for a long time. The prison itself seemed like one long narrow buildings like 2 or 3 traincars wide and everything had to adapt. Another scene was the lunchline where we had to go from service island to service island and even though it was a mans penitentiary there were casually dressed women walking around in population without getting harassed or cat-called and I remember talking to some of the other prisoners in the cafeteria before the fake ass attourney came in but I don't remember much of what was said. I do remember waking up from it at around 5:30 this morning and figured trying to go back to sleep would be a lost cause so I got up.

I have no idea what provoked the dream but at the first part of the month I usually try some new herb or supplement and of course my diet varies ddrastically from the beginning to the end of the month because of my income so it might of been that plus I have an inner conflict of whether to move or stay so that and stress here and I've been tempted to drink again but I know I need to stay sober and just deal with it. That I think is what causes AA goers to always call themselves alcoholics because they overmagnify the occasional demonically powered temptation to go back into old habits whatever they are so they make this quasi religion out of it where the act of drinking is the entire purpose of the devil and salvation attained simply by abstinence from drink or smoke or toke or the 5 pound buttercake in the fridge or whatever wing of the rehab facility you want to focus on. Hey, if it works for you or a loved on and at least cleans your life up on some level so your better with than without it then it's for you. I think what keeps me from going back is the difficulty I had in quitting and how hard on my body just quitting was let alone the years of using. This along with the brain damage and whatever else was destroyed by that lifestyle. My income is what helps me stay clean these days also as I can barely afford food let alone anything else that would demand more and more money as time passed.