You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

Sometimes reality trumps fantasy.

Does this happen only in the U.S.?

With luck you should still be here when you sign back in.......

I like waffles but only ythe edible variety.

"Here they come, spinning around the turn!". I reckon RJHowie and his friends have been keeping themselves suitably occupied, placing money on the sheep races. I wonder how much money is lost on this, how much is won, and whether or not taking Howie's advice on which animal to bet on would be a good bet or a bad one.

I guess when there's not much to do, sheep are the way to go. Not being a Scot, I'm not sure. Used to be...way back when...that sheep were used for unmentionable reasons.

Well you would know all about the sheep syndrome there Jaybro coming from a country that has done that very thing all over the globe.

And mjsmsprt40, I have never been to a betting shop yet and don't intend to start

Comma following "Jaybro", period following "start".

Damned foreigners never learn our language. Mexicans, Scots, they're all the same.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

Well you would know all about the sheep syndrome there Jaybro coming from a country

Jaybro came from his mommy, and not a country.

You'll have to remember, Rj, that we own the world, so whatever we do is just fine. The UN is our lapdog.

You folk had your day in the sun.

The Scottish Dream Machine...

RJ, around here we race horses. I live near Arlington Park, Sportsman's Park isn't too far away and Hawthorne is next to Sportsman's. Balmoral is just down the road apiece.

Sometimes we race stock cars, there's a track just South of Joliet for that.

Sheep racing appears to be a Scottish activity, at least I haven't heard of it elsewhere.

Personally, I haven't done any of that. A few years back, though, I did participate in setting up and taking down the yearly race put up by the club I belonged to. We raced boats.

Originally posted by mjmsprt40:

Sometimes we race stock cars, there's a track just South of Joliet for that.

A la NASCAR? Probably not. That's the only sport I have any interest in these days.

Originally posted by jbrothernew37:

Originally posted by mjmsprt40:

Sometimes we race stock cars, there's a track just South of Joliet for that.

A la NASCAR? Probably not. That's the only sport I have any interest in these days.

Yep, NASCAR. I'm not sure if the track is still open, seems I remember some financial difficulties and it "may" be closed now, but I can't be sure.

Originally posted by jbrothernew37:

A la NASCAR? Probably not. That's the only sport I have any interest in these days.

Nascar? uau, two left turns... amazing skills from the American pilots. I find it a good soporific.

Originally posted by mjmsprt40:

Yep, NASCAR. I'm not sure if the track is still open, seems I remember some financial difficulties and it "may" be closed now, but I can't be sure.

Open bigtime.
http://www.chicagolandspeedway.com/?homepage=true

Sunday, September 16

1:00pm
NASCAR Sprint Cup Series GEICO 400
The Chase for the NASCAR Sprint Cup starts at Chicagoland Speedway! Last year's GEICO 400 saw a riveting finish. Tony Stewart took the checkered flag for the third time at CLS, becoming the track's all-time win leader and ultimately propelling him to a thrilling third NASCAR Sprint Cup Championship. Who will make history this year?!

I saw the following yesterday and it sparked a thought.
How like D&D!
It only applies to a handful of our posters, however.

The runup to the election is getting better and better. Hope I don't pee my pants laughing. While on the campaign trail in Poland (to show his foreign affairs bona fides?), this exchange happened. Reporters, gotta love them, too:

“Gov. Romney, are you concerned about some of the mishaps on your trip?”

Another: “Gov. Romney, do you have a statement for the Palestinians?”

And: “What about your gaffes?”

A Romney press aide fired back, “Show some respect,” adding: “Kiss my ass. This is a holy site for the Polish people. Show some respect.”

"Kiss my ass. This is a holy site.."

Luke 4:23
King James Version (KJV)
23 And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country.

Jesus knows!

Not very subtle hypocritical satircal bent.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

Not very subtle hypocritical satircal bent.

Subtlety is sometimes lost here, Rj.

And in the Romney campaign, too.

I know that you don't vote here*, Rj, but if you could, would you...

A. Sleep in on Nov. 8
B. Vote for Romney
C. Vote for Obama
D. Write in my name
E. All of the above*
...........................
* If visiting Chicago, you could easily vote. Visiting aliens could vote there...if you don't believe me, ask mjmsprt40.

Just make some effort to get my handle right. It's hard, I know, but at least try.

I'll be voting in Villa Park, since that's where I live. I hear that Chicago isn't too particular about residence, or even having a pulse if some stories are true, so I imagine RJH could vote there if he wants to.

After voting, maybe we can try to make some wire by fighting over a penny. I hear that's what Scotsmen do, RJH is Scot and I'm half Scot so maybe we can do it. I'm certain my Dad could do it, he never spent a cent he didn't absolutely have to.

Originally posted by Belfrager:

Originally posted by jbrothernew37:

A la NASCAR? Probably not. That's the only sport I have any interest in these days.

Nascar? uau, two left turns... amazing skills from the American pilots. I find it a good soporific.

Thanks for your input.
NASCAR runs two road races. I watched one two days ago in one of the NASCAR divisions.

A little knowledge, a little comment. Google makes us omniscient.

Soporific? Yes, I also read your posts. BTW, how's the Portuguese space program doing these days?

You can't make this stuff up.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-19311098

Yet one more amazing moment in the fantibulated history of organized religion.

Pakistani police have arrested a mentally disabled 11-year-old girl after a mob accused her of desecrating pages of the Koran.

The mob demanded the Christian girl's arrest and threatened to burn down Christian homes outside the capital Islamabad, local media say.

Officials said the girl could not properly answer police questions

Holy Books, Batman!

Thanks for that one, tt92.

It's going to be a busy day.

Thousands of protesters took to the streets in Chinese cities on Sunday, with groups overturning Japanese cars and shouting slogans denouncing Japan's claims to the islands, known as the Senkaku in Japan and the Diaoyu in China.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-rt-us-japan-chinabre87i00f-20120818,0,3970085.story

Ignorant bustards! Those islands belong to Grand Rapids.
............................................................................
Makes one wonder, though. If they took place "spontaneously", doesn't that suggest that the Chinese government might have had a baton in hand orchestrating them?

Public protests in China are as spontaneous as is combustion without oxygen.

I live on a large island that Japan once laid claim to.

Well, the Japanese never managed to plant a flag on it.

I live on an island that's owned by China and Japan.

"Personally, I perform baptisms for the dead because I feel it is only fair to those who have gone on before, who have not yet had the chance to join our faith. If I were in the same position (passed on but not yet given the opportunity to join the gospel) I would hope some willing soul would perform the required ordinances for me. Performing baptisms for the dead also allows many other blessings to be freely poured out from the heavens upon those who perform them."
http://mormon.org/faq/baptism-for-the-dead

Paid for by the Romney for President Committee,
COO, Jaybro

The above discovered on http://HippoPoop.com/mormons_for_public_office

This probably deserves a forum for itself, but since it defies comment or discussion, here it is.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/offensive-and-indefensible-candidate-may-step-down-after-legitimate-rape-claims-20120821-24j3d.html

Originally posted by jbrothernew37:

It's going to be a busy day.

Thousands of protesters took to the streets in Chinese cities on Sunday, with groups overturning Japanese cars and shouting slogans denouncing Japan's claims to the islands, known as the Senkaku in Japan and the Diaoyu in China.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-rt-us-japan-chinabre87i00f-20120818,0,3970085.story

Ignorant bustards! Those islands belong to Grand Rapids.
............................................................................
Makes one wonder, though. If they took place "spontaneously", doesn't that suggest that the Chinese government might have had a baton in hand orchestrating them?

Public protests in China are as spontaneous as is combustion without oxygen.

I Googled "baton".

Originally posted by tt92:

"Public protests in China are as spontaneous as is combustion without oxygen."

I Googled "baton".

That pretty much covers it. That little offshoot looks suspiciously like a .... never mind.

"Google will set you free!"

Yahoo won't like that?

Ya Who?

There's not a doubt of it. Those bears were drunk!

"Once upon a time, in land known as Norway, there were four bears who seriously wanted to party.

So they broke into a cabin stashed with booze, downed 100 cans of beer, and proceeded to "trash" the place, according to a pretty awesome SKY News account."
What else? I've trashed a place on a six-pack...in my younger, Navy days, of course. I'm beer free in my older but saner expression.

Beer will set you free, but not healthily free. A vodka IV will do even better.

A bear drops an e and turns into a bar.
BEAR: Er....... just a water, please.
BARMAN: Why the big pause?
BEAR: I love you, man.

Oy, man, Oy.

Oh, I forgot to say mjsmsprt40, that we don't have sheep racing in Scotland. Some isolated thing but that is all. Interesting that you have a Scots connection and kindly gives you that great trait we have of wisely using money. O(ddly on my second trip to the ex-Colonies I had thought of a trip from NYC where I was staying to Chicago. It was to be by train being a rail buff. There again we are more fortunate as we have a proper rail system here.

There ought to be a law...really...particularly on beaches over the pond!
Really, really....

Now how wonderfully snobby from the land of would-be equality - more like boring sameness. And why not? Seems to me you might be jealous that you and her indoors cannot do the same. Tsk, tsk. There again you might be arrested for un-American activities.

I have no equal.

And let it all hang out, Dutchess! Wrinkles and all.

'Dutchess'. Must have a Netherlands connection. Neat.

Neat?

Neat means without ice and in an old-fashioned glass. ... Example: If somebody orders a Scotch neat, that person wants Scotch by itself ...

Scotch?! No, thanks! Too much "Scotch" here already.

Hint, hint...Rj...Tee-hee.

Well I am 'Scots' so can't be me.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

Well I am 'Scots' so can't be me.

My bad. That's the first mistake I've made this decade. But we've a way to go, so....

No it isn't the first but the second but I let a much earlier one go in case you got upset.

I didn't read this. I didn't read this. Please God, say I didn't read this.....

He opened an underwater hatch-----

Yesterday a Jehovah's Witness knocked and said "I am from the local congregation and I have you on a list of people who don't want to be contacted. Is it working?"
ME "Obviously it's not working at the moment."
HIM "Do you want to stay on the list?"
ME "Yes."
HIM "I'll check back in twelve months to see if you still feel that way."
ME speechless.
I'm not making this up.

Oh, yes you are!

interesting and putting-on-the-back-foot kind of encounter, tt92. But it wasn't me guv, honest.

Apparently you can make this one up. The twins all dressed up with nowhere to go:

And you have 2 Presidential hopefuls and you have nowhere to go with either Jaybro.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

And you have 2 Presidential hopefuls and you have nowhere to go with either Jaybro.

I needn't go anywhere, being quite comfortable where I sit. Addiction to politics is a malady that I don't suffer from. Now, if Cameron were one of my choices I'd know just what to do.
..............................................
Here's something I've observed without help from the media or any university study.

According to a new Stanford University study, iPhone users are becoming so reliant on their iPhones that they are actually reporting being addicted to their Apple smartphones.

Almost half of the respondents in the 200 person study acknowledged an iPhone addiction.

Students were asked to rate their addiction to their iPhones on a scale of one to five, from 'not at all addicted' to 'fully addicted.' Forty-four percent answered with a four or above.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/09/iphone-addiction-study-pa_n_490748.html

Amazing, ain't it?

Originally posted by jimbro37:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/09/iphone-addiction-study-pa_n_490748.html
Amazing, ain't it?

A brave pet could keep you safe.

Smart dog.

Somebody should do a study on iPhones and auto accidents. Oops!

1. Cell phone/ Mobile use – It is not surprising that in its brief history the cell phone has taken over as the #1 cause for traffic accidents.

Several studies available here....

Yes mobile phone in hand whilst driving a car is an offence and rightly so. Once had someone fined for that one. Dangerous amd selfish matter.

Originally posted by jbrothernew37:

Does this only happen in the U.S.?

I've been wondering that myself

I've been wondering if some Republicans are straw men put up to guarantee Democrat victories. It would explain some of the remarkably stupid statements made by some of the candidates.

Now, I'm having to wrap my head around the idea that rape is a "family value". That's because the Republican party has tried to own the "family values" part of the discussion.

Here:

Woman who drove past school bus must wear ‘idiot’ sign, judge rules

By Ron Recinto | The Sideshow – Tue, Nov 6, 2012

A woman who was caught on video driving along a sidewalk to avoid a stopped school bus has been ordered to wear an "idiot" sign at the intersection where it happened.

Shena Hardin, 32, of Cleveland pleaded guilty to not stopping for a school bus and reckless operation. A Cleveland Municipal Court judge ordered her driver's license suspended for 30 days and ordered her to pay $250 in court costs, according to WJW Fox 8.
As part of the sentence, Hardin must also must wear a sign that reads, "Only an idiot would drive on the sidewalk to avoid the school bus" for an hour a day for two days next week at the intersection where the incident occurred, according to Fox 8.

Hardin was arrested on Sept. 11 after a veteran school bus driver, Uriah Herron, noticed Hardin pull her driving stunt several times and recorded one incident with his cellphone camera.

"We had a very conscientious driver for 30 years. He really cares about his children and he took the extra step that this doesn't happen again," Cleveland Metropolitan School District bus manager Eric Taylor told newsnet5.com.
The judge's unique sentence predictably has drawn hundreds of comments on social media. Many agree with the sentence, saying more judges should strive for nontraditional penalties. Others, however, argue that the punishment is too degrading and humiliating for a motor vehicle violation.

If they started to punish traffic violations like that around here, the local economy would grind to a halt because hardly anybody would make it to work.

I used to drive on sidewalks but the frustration of having to deal with pedestrians who wouldn't move drove me crazy.

This is a little bit of nonsense and you will find if you read through, but it's fun none-the-less.

Brian Cox's search for alien life 'nixed by BBC health and safety tsars'

Oh, my! So you folks have nutters running things, too. I liked Cox's shows.

"We decided that we'd point the Jodrell Bank telescope at the planet that had been discovered by these two viewers and listen because no one had ever pointed a radio telescope at it and you never know," said Cox.

"The BBC actually said, 'But you can't do that because we need to go through the regulations and health and safety and everything in case we discover a signal from an alien civilisation'.

"You mean we would discover the first hint that there is other intelligent life in the universe beyond Earth, live on air, and you're worried about the health and safety of it?

"It was incredible. They did have guidelines. Compliance."

Sometimes I wonder about the "other intelligent life" business.

We came too close for comfort in having Pope Paul Ryan running things here. Space research would have been quaint history.

Ryan would have been good as the introduction of a rehash of the old "Twilight Zone" (he also live in it).

Originally posted by rjhowie:

"Twilight Zone"

A semi-old-favorite.

I'm now watching another semi-favorite on the Telly. Jane Tennison in Prime Suspect.

OK, it's official: This one goes here.

The Iranian airforce, in an attempt to show us that they're rough and tough and someone you don't want to mess with, tried and failed to shoot down a Predator drone. According to the article, the Predator flies slow and isn't terribly maneuverable, further this one wasn't armed so it couldn't shoot back. Even the ones that are armed don't carry air-to-air missiles, so it probably couldn't have shot back anyway. Our drone returned to base safely, the Iranian jets having failed to score a single hit.


Snoopy against the Red Baron, this ain't.

Originally posted by mjmsprt40:

The Iranian airforce, in an attempt to show us that they're rough and tough and someone you don't want to mess with, tried and failed to shoot down a Predator drone.

My god, why are we always messing in everybody's pottage?!?

Had the Iranians by some sort of goofy magic flown off the coast of California we'd declare war and bomb their country back to the stone age.

The Defense Department...shackle it and douse it in holy water.

Stuxnet virus, reportedly created by Washington and Jerusalem in order to spy on Iran, said to have attacked American energy company Chevron in 2010

“I don’t think the US government even realized how far [the virus] had spread,” Koelmel was quoted as saying. “I think the downside of what they did is going to be far worse than what they actually accomplished.”

Originally posted by jimbro37:

I'm now watching another semi-favorite on the Telly. Jane Tennison in Prime Suspect.

I've always been intrigued by the various incarnations of Sherlock Holmes (and thought the series Sandmen exceptionally good; but I was also a fan of Danger Man and Secret Agent… Oddly, I can find no reference to Sandmen on the net that refer to this show… [Perhaps because it was called Sandbaggers?! ]) And, of course, Reilly, Ace of Spies… I was also a fan of Robby Coltrane's Cracker. (Why do so many stand-up comedians become good actors?)

Prime Susect was a quality programme and worth a watch. In the comdey slot i always watch repeats of "Dad's Army" (brilliant) and "Last of The Summer Wine" which ran for 33 years. Remarkable stuff.

As for the incident near the Iranian coast yet another stretch of the world arrogance mentality. It could be taken by lesser individals as a hysteria mode about "securing the world" but it is yet just another part of the massive and deep corporate military industry which must be kept active. Sad isn't it especially when there is absolutely no proof at all about Iran making a bomb. Trouble is that the more often you tell people a lie the more they tend to start thinking there is something in what they are being spoon fed. One suspects that with such a heavily corprated tv media over the pond the average Joe just sits and swallows most of it. And hasn't Iran alreay whispered about the need for talks? So why doesn't America bit the armaments industry and do a Churchill and jaw-jaw with them face to face?

Iran has neighbors within range of its ballistic missiles…some of whom have military capability. The U.S. has (and should position) Aegis warships in the Gulf of Mexico. Simple, no?
Let the belligerents "belligerate"…if that's what they want to do. (Of course, having an effective defense is seen by some to be extremely belligerent, eh, ersi? )

Originally posted by OakdaleFTL:

Iran has neighbors within range of its ballistic missiles…some of whom have military capability. The U.S. has (and should position) Aegis warships in the Gulf of Mexico. Simple, no?
Let the belligerents "belligerate"…if that's what they want to do. (Of course, having an effective defense is seen by some to be extremely belligerent, eh, ersi? )

Responding to bold underlined: I have to ask what Aegis warships in the Gulf of Mexico have to do with anything that Iran might do. These warships might give Mexico a sleepless night, maybe give Columbia something to worry about, but---- as a show of force to get Iran to do or not do anything, I must admit I'm mystified. Or did Iran move to an island in the Gulf in the middle of the night and I somehow missed it?

Maybe you meant "Persian Gulf"??? That would make sense, though last I checked we have a naval presence in the Persian Gulf. Trying to keep the Straits of Hormuz open amongst other things.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

Prime Susect was a quality programme and worth a watch. In the comdey slot i always watch repeats of "Dad's Army" (brilliant) and "Last of The Summer Wine" which ran for 33 years. Remarkable stuff.

And now "Life's Too Short".

Here is another one from Right Wing Watch, one of my favourite comedy sites these days ( warning, may not be suitable for minors ):

Originally posted by Right Wing Watch:

American Family Association president Tim Wildmon and research director Ed Vitagliano today spoke to WorldNetDaily editor Joseph Farah about how they are all still astonished that Obama won re-election. Vitagliano apparently did his research into the Obama campaigns strategies, and figured out that “they hooked women to Obama through these Hollywood stars” like George Clooney and Sarah Jessica Parker. Vitagliano said that our “devolved” culture has made women voters simply think, “‘I love George Clooney, George Clooney loves President Obama, therefore I love President Obama.’” Farah concurred and said Hollywood is “bombarding” Americans with “unconstitutional” and “ungodly” ideas, and asserted that even law schools no longer teach the Constitution.
...

Yup, that must be it
Apparently in Dumbfuckistan 'doing research' means 'taking a hit from the crack pipe'.

"Life's too Sort"? Don't know that one but there again I lead an active life and tv is a passing entretainment.

This one is very entertaining...and, as requested, watch the video before reading the text below it.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/11/10/164817715/finnish-underwater-ice-fishing-mystery-finally-solved

Sounds as if those Finns have something in common with the irish?

Underwater ice hockey is another sport where the Finns are doing well.

It's a kind of bland country so they need a bit of excitement I reckon.

Originally posted by jax:

Underwater ice hockey is another sport where the Finns are doing well.

And about as exciting as watching paint dry.

I watched paint dry once many years ago and was worse than Edinburgh on a bad weather day.

Watch this and you'll wonder what's going on at Foxnews where this was initially posted. Ever see a chimp running?

Originally posted by jimbro37:

Watch this and you'll wonder what's going on at Foxnews where this was initially posted.

Of course, Jaybro meant Sky News… The article is here, in the Strange News category. (Sometimes fantasy trumps reality, I guess… )

Another one from my favourite comedy site:

Originally posted by Right Wing Watch:

The right-wing magazine Charisma has consistently claimed that homosexuals and the gay rights movement are bolstered by demonic influences, and now warns that Satan’s “sexual demons,” or “spiritual rapists,” can make people gay as they work to “lure people into homosexual behavior” or compel them to consider “becoming a lesbian.”
...

I have successfully resisted the urge to visit that site. It may just give you brain pustules and boils, so beware.

Originally posted by jimbro37:

I have successfully resisted the urge to visit that site. It may just give you brain pustules and boils, so beware.

If you have any faith in humanity, and the desire to keep it, you need to stay away from that site. Or you can read it as comedy and try Really Really Hard to ignore the fact that a lot of the people who spout this sort of nonsense keep getting elected.
Right Wing Watch is the epitome of Poe's law - there's no way you can parody this crap without being mistaken for the real thing.

There's an important issue here, that "Right" (at political and sociological meanings) is so much more diverse than "Left", worldwide.
That website is the full demonstration of it.

Now, diversity is a proof of vitality and a sine qua non condition of freedom.

"A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm
...............................................................
Hopefully, Mr. Tombe was wearing a condom, otherwise....

In Russian, "goat-boy" and "goat-girl" are of different genders... still

When Yuri Gagarin was the first man to go to space (and return) the soviet union made him an hero and attributed him the rank of major. But that wasn't enough, not even for the soviet austere way of life.
At 18 April 1961, by a secret resolution (resolution nº 1037rs), a few gifts were also conceded to him and to his family.
You can have a look at his gifts here. The list is in Spanish but, besides those who can understand it, it's worthy of using google translator.
Other times, other heroes, other realities.

"A hero" - this noun starts pronouncing with the phone /h/.

Originally posted by JoshL:

"A hero" - this noun starts pronouncing with the phone /h/.

An hero is a thing alright : https://encyclopediadramatica.se/An_hero

According to my morning paper, the Pope can now bless hundreds of thousands of the faithful all at once with a single tweet.

I've given up tweets because of a tooth cavity and a weight pwoblem.

Originally posted by tt92:

According to my morning paper, the Pope can now bless hundreds of thousands of the faithful all at once with a single tweet.

I have my reasons for abstaining.








That ain't Santa Claus!

According to this headline, police in Roseville, Michigan are looking for bandits who are stealing the piping from restrooms in convenience stores and gas stations. Details on the suspects are sketchy, and police are having difficulties with the case since they have nothing to go on.

http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/news/region/macomb_county/thief-targets-toilet-plumbing-fixtures-in-public-restrooms

It seems to be more widespread than you might think.

Wow! I've heard of people stealing copper pipes off of HVAC units and other random things just so they can make money buy taking it to the recycling center. Was a big problem where I live a few years back. I believe that has eased up. Never have I heard of someone stealing fixtures/piping out of public bathrooms. Maybe he needed inventory for his business or he ran out of money to finish his bathroom. You know McDonald's and other big corporations can afford to replace it. About four years back, someone was stealing catalytic converters off of the cars in the parking lot at my work. Thieves will steal anything these days.

Originally posted by mjmsprt40:

According to this headline, police in Roseville, Michigan are looking for bandits who are stealing the piping from restrooms in convenience stores and gas stations. Details on the suspects are sketchy, and police are having difficulties with the case since they have nothing to go on.

Good one.

Now that's a change from manhole coves and railway wrting along the tracks.

Originally posted by manners84:

You know McDonald's and other big corporations can afford to replace it.

About 85% of McDonalds are privately owned, the corporation owning the other 15%. I can replace the plumbing in my bathrooms, but it's an expense I'd rather not have to deal with.

Originally posted by manners84:

You know McDonald's and other big corporations can afford to replace it.

Unfortunately that's usually not how it works. The money will come out of the place's revenue which directly hits the employees' wages, bonuses etc.
With franchises like this the parent company usually takes an arbitrary share of the revenue but little or none of the risks. The idea is to generate money for the parent company's upper management, not to keep little people employed.

Yes guys, I'm fully aware of how those franchises work. It was a joke. Talking like a thief would think.

Robble robble.

Originally posted by ensbb3:

Robble robble.

Hamburglar Urges Senate Subcommittee To 'Robble Robble Robble'
NEWS IN BRIEF • Politics • Celebrities • Food • ISSUE 35•33 • Sep 15, 2013


WASHINGTON, DC—Denouncing a prison system he described as "robble," hamburger advocate and convicted felon Hamburglar addressed the Senate Subcommittee on Penal Reform Monday, demanding more humane conditions for the nation's inmates. "Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble," an emotional Hamburglar told the 12-member committee. "Robble robble robble robble robble. Robble robble robble robble robble robble: Robble robble." Reaction to the speech was mixed. "Certainly there is room for improvement in our penal system," U.S. Sen. Bob Smith (R-NH) said. "But I would hardly call the current situation 'robble.'"

Tourist Realizes It's All Just A Lie ...

The Onion has a way of simplifying tangles of complexity.

Originally posted by ensbb3:

Robble robble.

Do you think McDonald's had a hand in making stealing look cool by using the Hamburglar in its advertisements?

He's clearly oozing coolness. Just needs a stogie...

Brigitte Bardot is threatening to go into exile in Russia if France euthanizes two elephants

Originally posted by Sanguinemoon:

Brigitte Bardot is threatening to go into exile in Russia if France euthanizes two elephants

Who?

Originally posted by tt92:

Originally posted by Sanguinemoon:

Brigitte Bardot is threatening to go into exile in Russia if France euthanizes two elephants

Who?

I don't know the names of the elephants. I just hope one isn't Babar.

Originally posted by tt92:

Originally posted by Sanguinemoon:

Brigitte Bardot is threatening to go into exile in Russia if France euthanizes two elephants

Who?

Not "Who?" "What"! Elephants are large mammals with an elongated nose with a prehensile tip, and two curved ivory tusks.

Bardot was a cute, puffy lipped, French babe.





















Contrast her with a more recent (and ugly) Frenchman who has recently been welcomed by comrade Putin.

She was always an attractive woman but it would be very easy to wonder if airhead should be considered the way she has been over the latter years. I don't think many take much notice of her now. I felt more sory for Marlyn Munro who was used and badly treated. Even on my two NYC trips I wateched the air vents to see if such incidents still happened but nope.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

She was always an attractive woman but it would be very easy to wonder if airhead should be considered the way she has been over the latter years. I don't think many take much notice of her now. I felt more sory for Marlyn Munro who was used and badly treated. Even on my two NYC trips I wateched the air vents to see if such incidents still happened but nope.

All glory fades. Last year's hottie is replaced by this year's hottie who will be replaced by next year's hottie.

The way the internet speeds everything up, we'll soon be speaking of "the hottie of the day".

OOPS!

Originally posted by jimbro37:

The way the internet speeds everything up, we'll soon be speaking of "the hottie of the day".

OOPS!

"Hottie of the day" belongs to the past while hottie of the hour is up-to-date

Originally posted by Krake:

Originally posted by jimbro37:

The way the internet speeds everything up, we'll soon be speaking of "the hottie of the day".

OOPS!

"Hottie of the day" belongs to the past while hottie of the hour is up-to-date

Briana Lee, yes, because I patriotism.

Hottie of the moment...what next?
Hottie of the next moment?

But Bardot had been faded for yonks and taking forever to slip into the shade.

Minor to be sure, but climatically it's the opposite of what's expected. In warm, sunny Vegas, in the middle of winter, it's colder than Chicago. We're freezing our asses off, which is a shame considering we all have cute posteriors here. We're at 29 F ( -2 C) but normally much colder Chicago is at 51F (11 C )

Originally posted by rjhowie:

But Bardot had been faded for yonks and taking forever to slip into the shade.

Yup, a few years back she sank to appearing on "reality show" with Flavor Flav pictured here:

Originally posted by Sanguinemoon:

Minor to be sure, but climatically it's the opposite of what's expected. In warm, sunny Vegas, in the middle of winter, it's colder than Chicago. We're freezing our asses off, which is a shame considering we all have cute posteriors here. We're at 29 F ( -2 C) but normally much colder Chicago is at 51F (11 C )

It's 55F in Grand Rapids this afternoon and rising.

Vegas citizens are sinners, so they deserve what they get. It'll be plenty hot for them later. Balance is everything.

You can't make this up, either.

Satanists are planning a rally in support of Florida Governor Lex Luthor Rick Scott source

Furniture factory fire went unnoticed for three hours nearby Suzhou, under heavy winter smog.

What are those Chinese doing? stopping the smog progression?

Tai Ji. While Europe may have a slow food movement, China has an even older slow move movement.

I move so slowly that my wife can't tell if I'm sitting down or getting up.

I satanists.

This is sometimes known as "Holding back the smog."

Originally posted by jax:

Furniture factory fire went unnoticed for three hours nearby Suzhou, under heavy winter smog.

You definitely couldn't make this up because somebody already has, and a joyful lad was he. We all have our rules, though. Being a good atheist, mine don't involve killing people.

All who curse father or mother shall be put to death; having cursed father or mother, their blood is upon them.

If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbour, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death. The man who lies with his father's wife has uncovered his father's nakedness; both of them shall be put to death; their blood is upon them.

If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall be put to death; they have committed perversion; their blood is upon them.

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them.
[Leviticus, chapter 20]

Ah, so there is a religion you like Jaybro. How revealing after all the usual stuff.

You've found me out, you Scots rascal.

I'm a Newday Leviticist with atheistic tendencies. It's a small group, sans Popes.

Anything without a Pope is basically something and tolerable.

Originally posted by jimbro37:

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them.

Oh good. Gay people are safe. The mechanics of same-sex relation are different, so it's pretty well impossible to lie with a man as one would with a woman.

So much for the 'religion of peace' in Pakistan.

The blasphemy laws

Several sections of Pakistan's Criminal Code comprise its blasphemy laws.[3] § 295 forbids damaging or defiling a place of worship or a sacred object. § 295-A forbids outraging religious feelings. § 295-B forbids defiling the Quran. § 295-C forbids defaming the Islamic prophet Muhammad. Except for § 295-C, the provisions of § 295 require that an offence be a consequence of the accused's intent. Defiling the Quran merits imprisonment for life. Defaming Muhammad merits death with or without a fine. (See below Sharia.) If a charge is laid under § 295-C, the trial must take place in a Court of Session with a Muslim judge presiding.[4]

§ 298 states: Whoever, with the deliberate intention of wounding the religious feelings of any person, utters any word or makes any sound in the hearing of that person or makes any gesture in the sight of that person or places any object in the sight of that person, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both.

Imagine you were born there and teaching the children

Well, sir, that's the best laugh I've had in weeks.

I almost dropped my ....

Originally posted by jimbro37:

So much for the 'religion of peace' in Pakistan.

Repealing the blasphemy law is among the most important civil rights tasks in Pakistan today. Many have found it fundamentally unfair, but they are not by far as loud or violent as those many who don't.

Originally posted by Wikipedia:

Between 1986 and 2007, Pakistani authorities charged 647 people with blasphemy offences. Fifty percent of these were non-Muslims, who represent only 3% of the national population. No judicial execution for blasphemy has ever occurred in Pakistan, but 20 of those charged were murdered. By 2010, the total number of people charged under these laws had grown to about 1274.

This paragraph is particularly lovely:

Promptly after the [Federal Sharia Council]'s ruling in 1990, Bishop Dani L. Tasleem filed an appeal in the Supreme Court of Pakistan, which has the power to overrule the FSC. In April 2009, the Shariat Appellate Bench of the Supreme Court considered the appeal. Deputy Attorney-General Agha Tariq Mehmood, who represented the federal government, said that the Shariat Appellate Bench dismissed the appeal because the appellant did not pursue it. The appellant did not present any argument on the appeal because the appellant, according to reports, was no longer alive. Consequently, it appears to be the law in Pakistan that persons convicted under § 295-C must be sentenced to death with or without a fine.

Originally posted by jax:

The appellant did not present any argument on the appeal because the appellant, according to reports, was no longer alive.

Heart attack, methinks.

Originally posted by jimbro37:

So much for the 'religion of peace' in Pakistan.

What could be more peaceful than complete silence and compliance at all times?

I think you’ll find it’s a bit more complicated than that…

It certainly is. What type of weapon, bomb, etc...........

The carrot bomb is very scary, although in a restful way.

Originally posted by HP UK:

Chinese surgeons worked through the night to remove a live eel from a man’s backside.

The unmarried 39-year-old told medics he had been imitating a porn film when he inserted the 20 inch eel into his rectum.

"Please, please help me. The eel is moving through my body," he pleaded.

Eel porn is a "thing", apparently. More here.... http://huff.to/12GLfWD

Holy crap, whenever you think you've seen it all life turns around and proves you wrong

Originally posted by WJHL News:

Witnesses: Man drove 90 mph with genitals hanging out the window

KINGSPORT, TN (WJHL) - Three women testified against former Mount Carmel Vice-Mayor William Blakely, graphically recounting times he exposed himself while driving. News Channel 11 had the only reporter in court for Thursday's preliminary hearing in Kingsport.

"I was scared that I was gonna wreck, he was gonna cause me to wreck," witness Deborah Sturgill said.

"It seems that every victim would tell the same story. But I knew all the victims did not know each other," Kingsport Police Detective Terry Christian said.

Personal accounts in Thursday's testimonies started the same - Blakely allegedly waving to get the drivers' attention, then escalating to honking and partially crossing over into the drivers lane.

"Waving, grabbed his shirt, kind of pulled it up," witness Deanna Dykes said.

"After the waving, it turned into a lot of beeping, him grabbing his chest area, and asking me going 'please, please' (clasping hands together) with his hands, may I... show me yours," witness Kelly Street said.

Each witness testified they were fearful Blakely's driving would cause an accident.

"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," Sturgill said.

"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating... and that's when it got really, really bad. I wouldn't look over any more, and I wrote his tag number down on my hand, which I believe he noticed, and he exited very quickly," Street said.

Detective Terry Christian says it's Street's writing down of the license tag number that served as a catalyst for William Blakely's charges.

"It went on for so long an nobody's addressed it," Christian said, referring to the dozens of phone calls the department has received over the course of three or four years - she said, related to Blakely's behavior. Ages of the alleged victims range from 16-65.

Christian says Thursday marked a turning point, when three women, out of what's said to be many more - conquering fear and embarrassment.

"It's important to make that report because if you don't, they're gonna feel that they can continue that offense and continue victimizing more females. And that might be your best friend, your daughter, your mother, your aunt, your niece. And you need to make that report because that's what's going to eventually stop that type of behavior," Christian said.

Blakely is facing charges of indecent and reckless endangerment, and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault with regards to the first two testimonies today. Charges for the case involving the third witness were dropped to reckless driving. Judge Toohey bound the two cases seen today over to a Sullivan County Grand Jury - scheduled for June 14.

Detective Christian tells News Channel 11 several more cases involving Blakely are getting ready to be presented to a grand jury.

Copyright 2013 WJHL. All rights reserved.

I bet he's a church going, "family values" Republican.

Originally posted by Macallan:

I bet he's a church going, "family values" Republican.

KINGSPORT, TN, eh?
Isn't that where one of our posters lives...hint, hint...no names, of course.

Using one's schlong as a turn signal is illegal in most states.

New Zealand MPs Sing Maori Love Song After Approving Gay Marriage (VIDEO)
Ingenuos people!

I'm impressed. Thanks for posting that my evil twin.

Originally posted by jimbro37:

Originally posted by Macallan:

I bet he's a church going, "family values" Republican.

KINGSPORT, TN, eh?
Isn't that where one of our posters lives...hint, hint...no names, of course.

Using one's schlong as a turn signal is illegal in most states.

Laws are for sissies.

Originally posted by jimbro37:

I'm impressed. Thanks for posting that my evil twin.

Huh, I thought you're the evil twin

It's all about perspective, eh?

Relevant: Evil twin? They Might Be Giants?

One place to hear it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Esq1l0Yoo

If you're looking for something to make you sick, try this one.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/kill-team-examines-moral-dilemmas-facing-young-soldiers-155420443.html

Originally posted by HP UK:

If you want to prevent your cat from burning itself on your stove, these someone space age looking booties could be just the thing.

It comes after a survey found nearly half of all cat owners (43 per cent) considered their kitchens to be a dangerous place for their pets.

Fb link

Originally posted by Huffington Post UK:

A Saudi Prince is to sue Forbes after they underestimated his wealth on their annual rich list.

Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal claims the magazine has used flawed methodology to calculate his wealth and has accused Forbes of purposefully leaving him out of the top 10.

He told the Financial Times earlier in May: “You can’t have a magazine say that Saudi Arabia trading is rigged,” he said. “And you can’t also attack Alwaleed bin Talal.”

http://huff.to/12uUiL6

Originally posted by Huffington Post UK:

A 66-year-old man who visited a doctor complaining of a swollen stomach was told he was actually a woman.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/05/hong-kong-man-66-with-swollen-stomach-discovers-woman-doctors-turner-syndrome_n_3388565.html

Kind of sadness about that really.