Autocorrect woes

Autocorrect woes

Anybody suffer the wrath of the auto correct? Perhaps you typing about Jesus Christ and your phone corrected it to Jesus Crust. Or you wished somebody Happy Birthday but your phone sent Harry Birthday. Share your autocorrect / t9 (browsers autocorrect too) woes or the funniest correct errors here. Siri would also beappropriate.

Autocorrect. Jaybro have you noticed you're mentioned.

Some people should not use computers… Or language.

Originally posted by rjhowie:

Autocorrect. Jaybro have you noticed you're mentioned.

Where?

Someone explain satire. You may not realise it but the douce man from Michigan in the ex-Colonies is a retired teacher.......

Originally posted by rjhowie:

Someone explain satire. You may not realise it but the douce man from Michigan in the ex-Colonies is a retired teacher.......

English teachers never retire but continue on, wincing through the multitude of D&D language miscues.

Thank you for officially proving my satirical target as spot on. Teachers just cannot let go and a Ministry of Propaganda would just love 'em.

I loathe imposed autocorrect. And there is a related "feature" which is even worse: autoselect. Some programs have a setting to turn off autoselect. But they don't work I can turn off all the autoselect options and still when I want to select a specific section of text the program does not select what I choose - it selects what it chooses. It makes me angry. Sometimes I just have to quit doing whatever it was I was doing. I have to go away from the computer for a while, breathe smoke, and let my impotent fury subside. If time travel were possible, it might be worthwhile to go back and prevent that "feature" from ever being invented.

Are you sure auto select is a real feature? Programs must select something and that something is usually the default option.

Originally posted by wikipedian:

Are you sure auto select is a real feature? Programs must select something and that something is usually the default option.

It's real enough, and annoying enough. It appears to be a javascript feature, if the lie I found was any indication.

https://github.com/pham/autoselect#readme

Originally posted by mjmsprt40:

It's real enough, and annoying enough. It appears to be a javascript feature, if the lie I found was any indication.

https://github.com/pham/autoselect#readme

Autocomplete isn't a javascript feature in and of itself, it's something someone has to build and use on their site. The jQuery toolset has an autocomplete feature that you can use, and that project your linked to is just an extension of that.

Is autocomplete what you were talking about, aefields? Your description doesn't sound quite like it's the same thing, but it's certainly related to autocorrect.

Audocorekt! I don't neeed noo stinkun Audocorekt! Dot'n evun neeeed seppl checker.

Audocorekt! I don't neeed noo stinkun Audocorekt! Dot'n evun neeeed sepll checker.

Candidate for a Pullet Surprise
by Mark Eckman and Jerrold H. Zar

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.

That covers pretty much everything that could go wrong twixt cup and lip.

Originally posted by johnnysaucepn:

Is autocomplete what you were talking about, aefields?

No. Autoselect. Start selecting some text in the middle of a word and end the selection in the middle of another word.
It decides to select to the end of a word. I know you have seen this if you use Windows.

Originally posted by aefields:

I know you have seen this if you use Windows.

Are you talking about IE and/or the help system?

Hmmmmm. I'm still using Windows 1.0.

Originally posted by aefields:

No. Autoselect. Start selecting some text in the middle of a word and end the selection in the middle of another word.
It decides to select to the end of a word. I know you have seen this if you use Windows.

Yeah, I didn't think autocomplete sounded like the right thing.

I've only seen that behaviour in Office and IE, although I have to admit I had to try it out myself to see it happening, so it's obviously never bothered me in the past. If you drag right, it selects the rest of the word, but then you can drag the selection back left to where you want it to be.

Originally posted by johnnysaucepn:

If you drag right, it selects the rest of the word,

yes! Exactly! That's what I'm talking about! It happens if you drag left too.

When trying to get rid of this insidious function, I have found check boxes which purport to turn it off. They failed. Grrrrrr. Those evil ones at MS not only forced autoselect upon me but then teased me with the supposed ability to turn it off. Why? Oh, gods, why?

Honestly, if you drag the selection back the way you came, it cancels the word selection mode and won't re-do it when you go back to where you were. Not a solution, but better than nothing.

Yes. I know. It doesn't select what I want. It doesn't select what I select. It selects something that I don't expect. My selection becomes someone else's idea of what should be selected. Bastards. Assholes. I want to have the persons who chose and programmed that in front of me. I want to beat them with a large stick as they try to crawl out of the mire around the local lake bordered by devil's club. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_Club

Originally posted by aefields:

When trying to get rid of this insidious function, I have found check boxes which purport to turn it off. They failed. Grrrrrr. Those evil ones at MS not only forced autoselect upon me but then teased me with the supposed ability to turn it off. Why? Oh, gods, why?

It's one of the reasons I started using another browser than IE over a decade ago, and also one of the things I like better about OpenOffice/LibreOffice (there are less things it "intelligently" does by itself — I wouldn't use any such application at all if I could help it, but interoperability with other people…).

Generally speaking it's also one of the things I like better about Linux.

Opera Mini?

Yeah, I simply must try linux. I do like OpenOffice too.