My OperaThe begning of my living nightmare in 1999
Monday, August 16, 2004 7:41:48 AM
My husband and I had taken our 3 children North to visit with family for Christmas of 2000. We has a wonderful time. It had snowed in Ohio that year so it was really special. Living in Lower Alabama we don't see much snow. Anyhoo........ We came back and I went to the grocery. ( no reason to have food if we were not going to be there) That is when the nightmare began.
I was in the check out line 20 minutes from home. My cell rang and it was my husband. He informed me that I was needed to get home fast. By the tone of his voice I could tell there was something wrong. I left the cart in the line and out the door I ran. I made it home in 10 minutes. I never dreamed my little car could go so fast. When I pulled up there was a white blazer in my yard and a police car. My kids came running up to me and hugged me. The people there said the kids had to go with them. I told the kids it would be ok and to go with them I would be right there. I went into the house and the officer in charge said they needed me to follow them into town. I was a nervous wreck at this point. A million questions and yet no answer. My husband said there has been some accusations aginst him. The officers put him in the back of his car and I followed them in my car.
I followed them into Abbeville. (this was at 6pm), I seen the white truck that my children were in, but my children were not there. The 2 officers led my husband and I into the court house and down stairs. We were told to sit in this little 8 foot by 5 foot hall. There were lots of chairs. The kinds you would see in a school somewhere. My oldest daughter was being questioned when we got there. There were no attorney's and I was not present for this questioning. I did not even think about it at the time, I was a fool. She was held in a small white room for almost 3 hours. Being told to say what these people wanted to hear. The longer she fought them the longer they held her in this little room. None of us had eaten anything since 11am that morning. I knew my children were hungry and my son was starting to voice it. The young officer that was there offered to order a pizza for the children and go pick it up but his supervisor said it was not necessery. That we would all be leaving soon and Hardies would be open and we could take the children there. It was about 9pm when my oldest daughter ran past me. She had been crying and she has a nose bleed. That really scared me. All she said to me at that point was mommy I am sorry I had to lie. That scared me even more. Next they took my son, then my husband, then me. The questions they asked me were unreal. They asked for my name where I lived ect. Then they stated "We know your husband has mollested your oldest daughter." I was like "what?" they repeted it. All I could do was sit there. Total shock. NO look on my face nothing. The male social worker looked at me and said "You don't look shocked, why?" All I could say was " Can I be shocked and not look shocked?" They then went on to tell me nothing said would make them beleive other wise. Then they told me I could go sit with my son. My youngest daughter was last. She came running out fell on the floor in hystrics, and then I screamed "I want an attorney present!" I got a funny look from the officer. I then screamed "NOW!!!" The officer said that was not necessary and that they were finished. They had all they needed and I needed to call someone to come get the children or they would be placed in the states care. I grabbed my cell and went outside, called my parents and they came to get the children.
Seven days later we had an ISP meeting. (a meeting to make sure the kids were going to be safe.) At this meeting I was told the kids could come home as long as the father was not in the home when they were there. He drove a truck so that part was easy. Not on the wallett but was easy. The bills were getting harder and harder to pay. My husband was having to stay in a hotel when he was to have his time off. Extra money we really didn't have. But it had to be done. We were evicted from our home cause of what was going on. We found another home, and some friends of mine picked the kids up and took them to town so my husband could come to the house and help us move. We got settled and things were going a little better. I was told that my oldest had to go to a specialist for a "Copascope". This is a procedure that is usually used for looking at the colon. But they said they could tell how long it had been since my husband had sex with my daughter. It worried me. She was not feeling well and they way they explained the procedure it could be dangerous. Well as to the point that if she moved it could rip her and make her look like she was sexually active. I resecudled and the DHR did not like that. They went behind my back and called my mother to take her that next day. That Pissed me off. I told them there was no way and I was the mother. I had made arrangements to take my daughter the following week. And that was final.
That was until the oldest got sick. On the advice of his attorney, he stayed at the house. Not in the house. He stayed in his truck. My oldest daughter had been really sick. A temp of 103 that I just could not get down. I thought for sure before that night was over that she would be taken to the hospital. I had stayed awake for almost 3 days until her fever broke. I took her to a friends house so my husband could come and do laundry and we could spend a little time together. About a week later, I had taken the kids to KMart. They needed clothes. Neither my husband nor I knew that the other would be there at the same store. The kids spotted him. Ran to him and hugged him. Typical things a kid would do. He gave me some money and he left. Well the next day. Now this is almost 4 months after the first accusation, and I had not heard a word from DHR, they showed up at my house and told me that they were there to get the kids. They were told that my husband had taken the kids to the store and that was not allowed. I flipped. The state workers went to the school got 2 of my children and I went and got my daughter. I took them to my parents house once again. When we went to court we were told that we could only have supervised visits, no phone calls ect.
I was told that if i wanted my kids I had to 1) Get divorced. 2) Get a full time job. 3) Ask for no help from the system or anyone. 4) Get a new house, and the list goes on. What got me was they demanded that I get divorced. Now that is hard when a simple divorce can run $1000.00. I had no car, so that ment I could not work. Well I made him move out. Got a car and 2 jobs. They might not have been the best but I was working and paying my bills. I moved in a roommate. (female of course) to help with the bills. That was in Jan of 2001. He was aresseted in October of 2001 and when we all found out he was getting out I was told if I ever wanted my kids then I could not be there. I had no where to go. My mother and father would not help me so I turned to a friend. She lived in Florida. After she talked to the case worked and was told it was a good idea for me to start over and a home study ect would be done there I packed what I could in my car and left in the middle of the night. He came home to an empty house. I left no note for him to find, I just ran fast and far. About 2 months passed and she and I moved again. to the other side of Florida. Her dad had been real sick and we were going cross state to help with him ever other day, so it worked better to move there. I got a job in a restraunt. Was making real good money. Then I got another call. I was told that if I did not return then charges of child abandonment would be filed and my parental rights would be ended. Sooooo I loaded up what I could in my friends car and she brought me back. I was sitting in Dothan 10 hrs later. No where to go or stay. I had called my parents but all they would offer me was the shed out behind the house. I was not allowed in their home cause of what had happened. That was not a possiblity. So I went back to the house with my husband. I slept in the front room where my girls had once been. There was not much left cause he had sold it all. We were there about 3 months. I still had no car and he was on house arrest. We got evicted once again. His dad payed for a new place. Something nice so that when my husband went to jail the kids and I would have a nice home. Then court day came. He was to go in front of a Federal Judge on federal charges. I rode with him to court. I had not other choice. He browed a van to get us there. As soon as we walked in the door he was arrested and put in a holding cell. I stayed by my daughters side. I was not about to leave her. She was so hurt by the whole ordeal. She would scream at the case worker that she was going to hug her daddy and tell him she love him. We finally had to get her out of there. So we went and sat in a little room. Then it was his turn. My daughter cried, and I cried when he plead guilty to the charges they had. If he were not guilty then why would he plead guilty? That is when my brain went into over time. I did not speak to him much for the next few months. My dad finally got me a car so I could find a job. I did just that. It was not the best but in Lower Alabama you take what you can find. On Sept. 9 of 2002 I took my husband to jail and left him. Yes I cried on the way home. Not for him but because I had lost everything I had ever loved. My kids, my home and the man I thought that I knew. It has not been easy. It has been a battle but I am still hoping and praying the judge says my kids can come home.
I was in the check out line 20 minutes from home. My cell rang and it was my husband. He informed me that I was needed to get home fast. By the tone of his voice I could tell there was something wrong. I left the cart in the line and out the door I ran. I made it home in 10 minutes. I never dreamed my little car could go so fast. When I pulled up there was a white blazer in my yard and a police car. My kids came running up to me and hugged me. The people there said the kids had to go with them. I told the kids it would be ok and to go with them I would be right there. I went into the house and the officer in charge said they needed me to follow them into town. I was a nervous wreck at this point. A million questions and yet no answer. My husband said there has been some accusations aginst him. The officers put him in the back of his car and I followed them in my car.
I followed them into Abbeville. (this was at 6pm), I seen the white truck that my children were in, but my children were not there. The 2 officers led my husband and I into the court house and down stairs. We were told to sit in this little 8 foot by 5 foot hall. There were lots of chairs. The kinds you would see in a school somewhere. My oldest daughter was being questioned when we got there. There were no attorney's and I was not present for this questioning. I did not even think about it at the time, I was a fool. She was held in a small white room for almost 3 hours. Being told to say what these people wanted to hear. The longer she fought them the longer they held her in this little room. None of us had eaten anything since 11am that morning. I knew my children were hungry and my son was starting to voice it. The young officer that was there offered to order a pizza for the children and go pick it up but his supervisor said it was not necessery. That we would all be leaving soon and Hardies would be open and we could take the children there. It was about 9pm when my oldest daughter ran past me. She had been crying and she has a nose bleed. That really scared me. All she said to me at that point was mommy I am sorry I had to lie. That scared me even more. Next they took my son, then my husband, then me. The questions they asked me were unreal. They asked for my name where I lived ect. Then they stated "We know your husband has mollested your oldest daughter." I was like "what?" they repeted it. All I could do was sit there. Total shock. NO look on my face nothing. The male social worker looked at me and said "You don't look shocked, why?" All I could say was " Can I be shocked and not look shocked?" They then went on to tell me nothing said would make them beleive other wise. Then they told me I could go sit with my son. My youngest daughter was last. She came running out fell on the floor in hystrics, and then I screamed "I want an attorney present!" I got a funny look from the officer. I then screamed "NOW!!!" The officer said that was not necessary and that they were finished. They had all they needed and I needed to call someone to come get the children or they would be placed in the states care. I grabbed my cell and went outside, called my parents and they came to get the children.
Seven days later we had an ISP meeting. (a meeting to make sure the kids were going to be safe.) At this meeting I was told the kids could come home as long as the father was not in the home when they were there. He drove a truck so that part was easy. Not on the wallett but was easy. The bills were getting harder and harder to pay. My husband was having to stay in a hotel when he was to have his time off. Extra money we really didn't have. But it had to be done. We were evicted from our home cause of what was going on. We found another home, and some friends of mine picked the kids up and took them to town so my husband could come to the house and help us move. We got settled and things were going a little better. I was told that my oldest had to go to a specialist for a "Copascope". This is a procedure that is usually used for looking at the colon. But they said they could tell how long it had been since my husband had sex with my daughter. It worried me. She was not feeling well and they way they explained the procedure it could be dangerous. Well as to the point that if she moved it could rip her and make her look like she was sexually active. I resecudled and the DHR did not like that. They went behind my back and called my mother to take her that next day. That Pissed me off. I told them there was no way and I was the mother. I had made arrangements to take my daughter the following week. And that was final.
That was until the oldest got sick. On the advice of his attorney, he stayed at the house. Not in the house. He stayed in his truck. My oldest daughter had been really sick. A temp of 103 that I just could not get down. I thought for sure before that night was over that she would be taken to the hospital. I had stayed awake for almost 3 days until her fever broke. I took her to a friends house so my husband could come and do laundry and we could spend a little time together. About a week later, I had taken the kids to KMart. They needed clothes. Neither my husband nor I knew that the other would be there at the same store. The kids spotted him. Ran to him and hugged him. Typical things a kid would do. He gave me some money and he left. Well the next day. Now this is almost 4 months after the first accusation, and I had not heard a word from DHR, they showed up at my house and told me that they were there to get the kids. They were told that my husband had taken the kids to the store and that was not allowed. I flipped. The state workers went to the school got 2 of my children and I went and got my daughter. I took them to my parents house once again. When we went to court we were told that we could only have supervised visits, no phone calls ect.
I was told that if i wanted my kids I had to 1) Get divorced. 2) Get a full time job. 3) Ask for no help from the system or anyone. 4) Get a new house, and the list goes on. What got me was they demanded that I get divorced. Now that is hard when a simple divorce can run $1000.00. I had no car, so that ment I could not work. Well I made him move out. Got a car and 2 jobs. They might not have been the best but I was working and paying my bills. I moved in a roommate. (female of course) to help with the bills. That was in Jan of 2001. He was aresseted in October of 2001 and when we all found out he was getting out I was told if I ever wanted my kids then I could not be there. I had no where to go. My mother and father would not help me so I turned to a friend. She lived in Florida. After she talked to the case worked and was told it was a good idea for me to start over and a home study ect would be done there I packed what I could in my car and left in the middle of the night. He came home to an empty house. I left no note for him to find, I just ran fast and far. About 2 months passed and she and I moved again. to the other side of Florida. Her dad had been real sick and we were going cross state to help with him ever other day, so it worked better to move there. I got a job in a restraunt. Was making real good money. Then I got another call. I was told that if I did not return then charges of child abandonment would be filed and my parental rights would be ended. Sooooo I loaded up what I could in my friends car and she brought me back. I was sitting in Dothan 10 hrs later. No where to go or stay. I had called my parents but all they would offer me was the shed out behind the house. I was not allowed in their home cause of what had happened. That was not a possiblity. So I went back to the house with my husband. I slept in the front room where my girls had once been. There was not much left cause he had sold it all. We were there about 3 months. I still had no car and he was on house arrest. We got evicted once again. His dad payed for a new place. Something nice so that when my husband went to jail the kids and I would have a nice home. Then court day came. He was to go in front of a Federal Judge on federal charges. I rode with him to court. I had not other choice. He browed a van to get us there. As soon as we walked in the door he was arrested and put in a holding cell. I stayed by my daughters side. I was not about to leave her. She was so hurt by the whole ordeal. She would scream at the case worker that she was going to hug her daddy and tell him she love him. We finally had to get her out of there. So we went and sat in a little room. Then it was his turn. My daughter cried, and I cried when he plead guilty to the charges they had. If he were not guilty then why would he plead guilty? That is when my brain went into over time. I did not speak to him much for the next few months. My dad finally got me a car so I could find a job. I did just that. It was not the best but in Lower Alabama you take what you can find. On Sept. 9 of 2002 I took my husband to jail and left him. Yes I cried on the way home. Not for him but because I had lost everything I had ever loved. My kids, my home and the man I thought that I knew. It has not been easy. It has been a battle but I am still hoping and praying the judge says my kids can come home.
