My OperaParents no matter how old you are never understand.
Sunday, September 12, 2004 7:30:27 AM
My parents are very upset that I have filed for custody, and feel like I should not have my children. Complaining ect. here is the email I sent her.
Look I am sorry I did not tell you what was going on. I have done nothing but been honest with you, but there are some things in life that you just don't tell until you have to. "Only say what you have to but don't just volunteer information." You have told me that so many times. And for once I really do use your advice and you get mad. You did not ask and I was told not to say a word to anyone unless they did ask. I really do want my children home, and if this is how i have to do it then so be it. If it makes you angry, I am sorry. I know you took my daughter into your home. That will never be forgotten, you did it I thought because you love her and did not want to see her in that girls home any longer. I did not ever dream that you were doing it for me, and if that is why you did it then it was the wrong reason. But I really thought you did it for her. It was not me that was there, but it was Josh. Maybe I should have told you and I would have if you would have asked. I know that keeping her there has put a financial burden on you, but you know that when you took her into your home. Children always do. Yes I do understand why you have told your attorney not to be there next week, and yes I had full intentions on letting Josh stay there and not filing for custody of her at all, but I had if I want to get the other kids home. I know you don't understand that, and I don't expect you to. I know your angry with me, and I really do accept that. But you never have been happy with any choice I have ever made so it was no surprise. No matter what I do, it has never been right or good enough in your eyes. For that I am sorry. I could not be who you expected me to be. But I am my own person with my own mind and you need to remember that we do things when we get older because of the way that we were raised ourselves.
Any way I did want to tell you I was sorry for not just telling you what was going on, but my attorney advised me not to let anyone one know unless they asked out right, and not to lie if I were asked.
Her reply:
What you did to us was very fallacious. Sorry is not an option.
What a pain you are thinking at this time right?
My last reply to her:
No it was not. You can think what ever you want to. I did nothing wrong. I told you I was going to try to get the kids. And if that means Josh also, then so be it. Just last week you were saying you were going to go into court and tell me to let me have her. Now I do not want to dwell on the past nor do I want this to be and issue. You should be happy that I want her home. You are the one that always says you don't have the money and how hard it is to raise her. All I want is my children to be home. Nothing more nothing less. And yes I feel more then ready to take the responsibility that should have been mine for the past 5 yrs. For once in your life be happy that I am finishing what I started. You were the one that said I never finish anything, well I did get my ged, a job, and I was the one that said I would not stop fighting to get my children home even when you told me to quit and give up. She is my daughter and her place is home with me. No matter what mistakes made in the past can not be changed, don't matter if you made them raising me or me raising my children. I am going to finish this and I will get my kids home. You know you might not be proud of me, nor like me. But I am your daughter. You were the one that cut me out of your life for years not the other way around. You might have felt like you did not have a daughter, but at the same time I felt like I did not have a mother or a father, and still I feel the need to prove things to you both. That is not right nor is if fair. I am your flesh and blood no matter what, and a name is just a name, no matter how shinny you try to keep it. People do change, and so does the world but family is always supposed to stick together, I just wish my family would have done that instead of pushing me out in the cold. And that I will promise you I will never do to my children. I will teach them that family sticks together no matter how bad things get. That is more then I got. I have had to prove my self to just be your daughter. I never asked you to prove yourself to be my mother. But I am now. Be my mother and support what I am doing. Let me be a mother to my children. You never lost the time of being a mother like I have, and not able to get memories back that were taken.
You got all of that. Let the past die mother, and look at the future. At least you and dad can now enjoy the "GOLDEN YEARS" like you said you wanted to do and never fail to mention, and not raise my daughter. Stop yelling and complaining mother. It is not doing any good. Be happy that you can now do the things you want to do.
T
Look I am sorry I did not tell you what was going on. I have done nothing but been honest with you, but there are some things in life that you just don't tell until you have to. "Only say what you have to but don't just volunteer information." You have told me that so many times. And for once I really do use your advice and you get mad. You did not ask and I was told not to say a word to anyone unless they did ask. I really do want my children home, and if this is how i have to do it then so be it. If it makes you angry, I am sorry. I know you took my daughter into your home. That will never be forgotten, you did it I thought because you love her and did not want to see her in that girls home any longer. I did not ever dream that you were doing it for me, and if that is why you did it then it was the wrong reason. But I really thought you did it for her. It was not me that was there, but it was Josh. Maybe I should have told you and I would have if you would have asked. I know that keeping her there has put a financial burden on you, but you know that when you took her into your home. Children always do. Yes I do understand why you have told your attorney not to be there next week, and yes I had full intentions on letting Josh stay there and not filing for custody of her at all, but I had if I want to get the other kids home. I know you don't understand that, and I don't expect you to. I know your angry with me, and I really do accept that. But you never have been happy with any choice I have ever made so it was no surprise. No matter what I do, it has never been right or good enough in your eyes. For that I am sorry. I could not be who you expected me to be. But I am my own person with my own mind and you need to remember that we do things when we get older because of the way that we were raised ourselves.
Any way I did want to tell you I was sorry for not just telling you what was going on, but my attorney advised me not to let anyone one know unless they asked out right, and not to lie if I were asked.
Her reply:
What you did to us was very fallacious. Sorry is not an option.
What a pain you are thinking at this time right?
My last reply to her:
No it was not. You can think what ever you want to. I did nothing wrong. I told you I was going to try to get the kids. And if that means Josh also, then so be it. Just last week you were saying you were going to go into court and tell me to let me have her. Now I do not want to dwell on the past nor do I want this to be and issue. You should be happy that I want her home. You are the one that always says you don't have the money and how hard it is to raise her. All I want is my children to be home. Nothing more nothing less. And yes I feel more then ready to take the responsibility that should have been mine for the past 5 yrs. For once in your life be happy that I am finishing what I started. You were the one that said I never finish anything, well I did get my ged, a job, and I was the one that said I would not stop fighting to get my children home even when you told me to quit and give up. She is my daughter and her place is home with me. No matter what mistakes made in the past can not be changed, don't matter if you made them raising me or me raising my children. I am going to finish this and I will get my kids home. You know you might not be proud of me, nor like me. But I am your daughter. You were the one that cut me out of your life for years not the other way around. You might have felt like you did not have a daughter, but at the same time I felt like I did not have a mother or a father, and still I feel the need to prove things to you both. That is not right nor is if fair. I am your flesh and blood no matter what, and a name is just a name, no matter how shinny you try to keep it. People do change, and so does the world but family is always supposed to stick together, I just wish my family would have done that instead of pushing me out in the cold. And that I will promise you I will never do to my children. I will teach them that family sticks together no matter how bad things get. That is more then I got. I have had to prove my self to just be your daughter. I never asked you to prove yourself to be my mother. But I am now. Be my mother and support what I am doing. Let me be a mother to my children. You never lost the time of being a mother like I have, and not able to get memories back that were taken.
You got all of that. Let the past die mother, and look at the future. At least you and dad can now enjoy the "GOLDEN YEARS" like you said you wanted to do and never fail to mention, and not raise my daughter. Stop yelling and complaining mother. It is not doing any good. Be happy that you can now do the things you want to do.
T
