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Ngậm ngùi

Ngủ đi em mộng bình thường!
Ru em sẵn tiếng thùy dương mấy bờ...
Cây dài bóng xế ngẩn ngơ...
Hồn em đã chín mấy mùa thương đau?
Tay "ai" em hãy tựa đầu?
Cho "ai" nghe nặng trái sầu rụng rơi...

hmmm

These days I've got a lot of things to do, work in the center, study, organize the club, talk to people, make them believe, and enjoy my life at the same time. I dont know why but it feels good when I can do some other things beside my study. I love talking to people and making friends with them. People are all nice if I am nice to them, I believe so and I am trying to be nice to every body. I want to be better, be nice, work hard, and study hard. I want to get good marks, be an honest person, live well, be successful...I want a lot of things and I am making effort to make it become things in real.
Life is short. Take any chances.
Go and get it!

I feel blue and I dont want to let go............

I am a rebel too, partly.... I lost an earing and I am still wearing the other. That might be what I want.
Too bad when you just want what you cant have.
Too dangerous when you want to get out of the place that created you and raised you up.
Too lonely when you want to have your own space.
Too scary when you think you are old enough to live on your own.
Too risky when you think you make the right decision.
Too sad when you really care about somebody.............
It's too damn hot these days.

A bad day!

Gosh! What happened to me today?
It is so bad. I got up late this morning, so I had to get to work as fast as I could.
Rush out...damn...I had to take "xe ôm". I had the feeling that my head would soon fall out of my neck...so much windy...the helmet just kept "flowing" above my head...too risky!
Suddenly, in just one moment, I felt so quiet outside, people were just there around me, but I felt lonely and peaceful...somehow.
It rained. The weather is a little bit better now, but I got a headache.
I hate the changeable weather here. I drank a little bit. I never drink alcohol before, but today I wanted to...three mouthfuls beer. I hoped a little alcohol might help to stop headache..haha...weird thinking!
I felt quite good when I was driving slowly and lonely on Chu Van An street. This is the moment I want to enjoy. I want to go to Tuong Niem Cafe tonight, but I cant. May be tomorrow morning I will.
hmmm...so bad headache... I may need some orange juice, or Pho.
English club is a nice idea too. I will try to make it work and expand it.
I should go to take a deep rest. However I dont want to sleep now.
Someone told me "I can sleep all day when I die" so time is very precious ha?
I want to read a book now...about philosophy...Maxism...
I felt so tired...a long stressful day!
I gotta go now.
See ya!
Be strong!

Well, do I need a hug?

Today must be a nice day for me!
I got a new email from an old friend. It made me think about our good memory that I am so sorry I forget sometimes.
I think Vietnamese people are so weird in some ways...
They dont hug people. They never hug anyone even though they love that person.
Well, everybody needs hugs in life. There is nothing as good as a hug when you are sad or lonely...even when you are happy, you also need a hug.
That's the best way to share your feelings...and to make people closer to each other.
I love hugs. It is so hard to find a Vietnamese who can give me a real hug.
Hugs are safe, easy and comfortable.
hmmmmmmmm..............



Froggy is growing up...

Greg is a rebel!
I just knew that a few hours ago. I dont really know what rebel is and how different he is, but it seems he has been through a lot of things that not everyone can be in the lifetime.
Why did I choose him at first? Why was it on April Fool's day? Why did he choose to type back? Why did he tell me those things?
I wish I could have been there for him.
Well, Vietnamese people are so cruel sometimes...
I even dont really know who he is. I am not sure if I am right but everything seems so fast. It is just put in its position at once. I have no way to force it back.
Greg is a magician (haha) not really...he is really good at card tricks. But he should be fired from that because he told me all the secrets already (well, that seems good to me)
He seems the softest person I have ever met. I have never seen him clearly enough, I always talk to him through a fog that he makes by smoke and by himself.
I have a lot of feelings and I hate them sometimes. They makes me so weak and I totally dont want to be like that...
Well, there are a lot things happened in life. I just have to figure out the way to stop thinking. That seems super hard to me but there is nothing else I can do with that.
Let's see what will happen next.
I dont have enough ability to make it happen or stop, I just hope everything is not too harsh. I always have to learn the same lesson all the time. I may not learn it yet. I have to try again.

Greg - sad look and huge life.
hmmmm.... and It was finished within 3 days. I am not good at it. I am not good at lasting a relationship. Normally I get bored after I know that clearly or I can completely control it somehow. In this case, I lost the game's control after 1 and half day. well, that was bad. I thought it must be around 5 days but it was too fast anyway. may be, this thing is better...
I should stop thinking now.
........
Life is short.



I am back.......

I already started a new part of life....Sometimes, I have no idea about that....
I met one new friend, who is really interesting and totally has ability to make me wait for.
I also met some strangers who I knew for a long time. It doesnt matter. That's how life effects on people...I have to take it anyway. Sometimes, I miss their old persons. Time goes by...people change, and I change.
I stopped crying. Of course, I do cry sometimes but it is good for me somehow.
Someone gave me a few rules which are supposed to be helpful in life. I believe in that. Though I broke those rules to believe in someone....
#1. dont love anybody
#2. deny everything
#3. dont trust anyone
...A son was sitting on a branch of tree. His father told him to jump off, he would catch him. The son told "no, daddy. I will fall down on the ground. It hurts." His father said with both of his hands up in the air, "dont worry, son. I am your father. I love you. I will catch you. Trust me." The son looked at his father with full of believe and love. He jumped....but his father stayed aside. he didnt catch his own son..he let the boy fall down...The father came to him slowly and told " this is your first lesson and you have to remember this clearly in your whole life. Dont ever trust anybody"...
Sorry but I trust you already.
hm...that's so bad, isnt it?
anyway, thanks a lot for making contact to me and let me learn how to live. You are full of experience. Am I lucky for that?
I also hate you so much when you disappeared sometimes...haha "you are bad"
V.K.
Little Froggy.

WHO AM I??

I am your constant companion.

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do might just as well be turned over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed, you must merely be firm with me.

Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do
it automatically.

I am the servant of all great people, and alas, of all failures, as well.

Those who are great, I have made great.

Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the
intelligence of a person.

You may run me for profit or run me for ruin, it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will place the world at your feet.

Be easy with me and I will destroy you!

I am “HABIT”.
“POWER OF HABIT”
Do Sth. to make yourself better….
Good luck to you and to…me!
T’s.

Weird trip.....

Field..cows..fishes..mosquitoes..great people...

Xin hãy ăn năn!

Gửi anh Thức và Minh…
Con sóng lăn tăn ngoái đầu nhìn lại
Dòng sông khờ ngủ vùi quên phận bạc
Bánh xe lăn tít tắp con đường
Bỏ mặc cây dừa non run rẩy gió chiều
Cái giường tre kẽo kẹt thân côi cút
Lớp bụi mờ đắp đổi dạt trôi
Vạt khói trắng lơ lửng cắp tâm tình
Len lỏi cát và người và suy tính...
Để thời gian hờ hững nổi trôi
Và không gian như giã từ sự sống.

Nắng vàng rượm những bước chân khập khiễng
Mơ hồ sợ nắng nhạt nhòa dần phai
Sao rách mãi mảnh áo sờn hiền hậu?
Trơ trọi mắt ai thiết tha đống lửa tàn...
Chập chờn in, bóng ai nghiêng ngả...
Ai đi đâu, ai ở lại, bỏ ai?

Nụ cười nuôi sống những tháng ngày kham khổ
Xin lỗi nhóc! Đừng trách hờn thân phận
Mạnh mẽ lên, mắt ánh lửa khóc thét chiều hôm
Và ngón tay hai đốt đâm toạc lòng mây
Con bò trắng ái ngại lòng thương xót
Nhìn cuộc đời qua mắt lưới tác tan...

Lòng người đau nỗi đau của kiếp sống
Nhưng sao hiền trong sình đất bờ đê…
Biết bao giờ cho hết đời lam lũ?
Và làm thế nào để có được một giấc chiêm bao?
B.L, hai cha con và căn nhà nhỏ đơn sơ...