my weird way of thinkin'

Sorry about the beginning of the post, my voice is horrible and I was trying to adjust the sound.
powered by ODEO

Hi.

I'm back from the woods, and I feel a great feeling, such as a "refreshing sensation".

I spent 4,5 days completely away from my family, friends (had only one of them with me), internet, cell phone, television, newspapers, everything. Some of us may think that giving up it all would be a huge sacrifice, but it wasn't at all. Probably because I was away from all of it for only 4 days, but still... great feeling.

Sometimes we all need some time alone, to dwell and think about our inner issues, trying to remain in present, aware of everything that surrounds us, and most of all, some time to simmer our deepest thoughts and emerge some satisfactory discoveries about ourselves.

I did my best to pay attention to every feeling and sensation that applied during this 'getaway' from the city, in order to really see what I think about certain things. During my first meditation practice I realized I truly needed to deal with my ability to let go things, feelings, concerns, sensations, thoughts. I could see that the main reason I suffer is because I keep on dwelling on feelings and situations I have absolutely no way to control (and it applies to almost 100% of my life).

It's really weird, shocking at the beginning, once I perceived that my life in not to be controlled by me, and that I feel I really need to let go everything, and become a small boat sailing freely, serving my life's will to be, remain or change.

So, for three days I focused my meditation practices on reasoning about all this let-go process I had to go through. The feeling that was shocking at first, becomes - all of a sudden - a complete state of peace and light.
I have come to the conclusion that every time I tried to control the course of my life into some path, all went wrong. And as a result, I felt sad, disappointed, scared and loser. Now, I really see that I don't have to deal with my life, but only let myself be lead by life.

Some bad things and situations might come during the way, some good ones will drop by, and that's the whole magic about life. We are meant to go through ups and downs, and once we have it as the truth and pure reality, we start to enjoy both situations.

I'm glad I came back to my ordinary life all refreshed and clean. I'm glad I've improved a little bit.
I'm glad to see that "ordinary leads to extraordinary", quoting Osho.

Thanks for reading,
Dan