Book of all secrets

Everyone has it, everyone hates it. Right: SPAM! But I heard spam senders are becoming more and more inventive: they use images instead of text merchandising their goods etc...
I want to proove you they seriously lack any sence of inventivity.

Here's a quote from one of the many spam mails I got:

window try cheese but polish the harmony but answer but use see society be electric or control in cushion be sticky some complete or strange may frequent ! chalk see dependent it's card , form the grain see monkey see iron ! family may level and quality try metal or harbor it's

selection see waste a relation in floor it's form it dead , star , weather but minute try range see cork see card not bag it's war some desire on front it's cord on loose the payment and carriage ! size not natural see advertisement may weather be look , bent see

potato in kiss be space a mist try nut ! round on twist on rate but clean see opinion it's fiction , letter ! church but amusement some hate it's trousers or cook and able , agreement but flag in drink but glove a wise it memory on stem may cause see

Now what sence does it make? I guess people who send spam use some kind of random words generating program. How low can you go? If I'm going to receive spam, at least I hope it says something meaningful like: "buy a replica watch" or "get your Viagra here!" or "Need a diploma? We sell'em!"

I work for a local NGO, called a "bosgroep". We help local forest owners in their forest management and give them a range of services, most of which are free. To do so, we are sponsored by the Flemish Government.

At the head of our organisation stands a board. It's a group of nine volunteers, all forest owners themselves. The organisation has two personell: myself, fulltime coördinator and a half-time secretary employee.

Last monday I was evaluated by the president of our board. He wasn't happy with our results and gave me the choice: getting fired by the board or leaving the honour to myself. If I'ld choose to get fired, I wouldn't have to fulfill my three months resignation period. Otherwise, I'ld have to keep working till may this year.

This choice has influenced my decision a lot, so i decided to let them fire me so I'ld be able to spend some time with my family (we're expecting our second child mid february) and i'ld have plenty of time to find a new job.


On wednesday the 24th of january, the board meets to decide what to do about me. After some "claryfying" by our president, they voted anonimously. Five votes for, three against and one blank vote. Result: i'm sacked.

Now, whereas they said to me I wouldn't have to come back working when I'ld get fired, they now are opposed to that idea. The reason is simple: money. If they have no coördinator for, let's say three months, they won't get subsidised for an amount of 3/12 * 75.000 €...

Lucky me, huh. Now I'm completely demotivated and forced to work in a place where you know you're not wanted anymore.

Peace!

In the beginning, everything was simplicity. The universe was nothing more than a little hydrogen, H.

Then, suddenly there was an awakening. The hydrogen fuses. The Big Bang causes an explosion, rushing out the fulminating elements, mutating and spreading into space.

H, the most simple element, breaks down, mixes, melts, fuses, collides and collapses, generating new elements. The Universe is a melting pot of Natures creativity. All is experiment.

Everything starts at 1. But everything expands in all directions and in all possible shapes.

In the initial melting pot, H, the origin of everything, is giving birth to new atoms.

Like He: Helium. And everything keeps mixing in order to create more and more complex atoms.

We now can see the effects of that initial explosion. The whole of our local universe-space-time, which existed of 100% Hydrogen, is now a soup consisting of many strange atoms, composed out of the following proportions:

90% Hydrogen
9% Helium
0,1% Oxygen
0,060% Carbon
0,012% Neon
0,010% Nitrogen
0,005% Magnesium
0,004% Iron
0,002% Sulphur

And these are only the most common elements in our present universe-space-time.

Translated from Bernard WERBER.