Skip navigation.

Pat Maginess: Private-Eye

Hard Shelled Detective Fiction by Edward Piercy

STICKY POST

P.M.P.I. Contents and Updates

, , ,










"I would never shoot a cat. Unless they really had it coming to 'em."

-- "All My Todays"



It was a long, dark, quiet drive back to Los Angeles.

-- from That Killer Smile



SHORT STORIES:

"Those Songs We Sing to Ourselves" -- NEW!
"Remember Me"
"Hello, Robert"
"All My Todays"
"The Salesman"
"It's a Dog's Life"


NOVELS:

That Killer Smile (Complete Novella).


Click on the book cover to go to the novel.


HISTORICAL:

Nick Carter: The Crime of the French Cafe (Anon/Piercy)

COVER ART MINI-STORIES:

As a service to my readers who might only have about two minutes
between Point A and Point B, I decided to post humorous bits using
the covers of old pulp magazines. Here's the link.

The Complete Cover Art Mini-Stories

REVIEWS:

Hollywood Confidential (Movie Review) -- NEW!
Margin for Murder (Movie Review)
The Proposal (Movie Review)
Best Detective Movies
Kiss Me, Deadly (Movie Review)
Attack of the Sabretooth (Movie Review)
Savior (Movie Review).
Bare Trap by Frank Kane (Book Review).
I, the Jury by Mickey Spillane (Review-Essay).
DaVinci's Inquest (TV Series Review).
The Snarl of the Beast by Carroll John Daly (Book Review).
Poisons Unknown by Frank Kane (Book Review).
V. I. Warshawski (Movie Review).

MISCELLANEOUS:

CSI: Noir
Survivor China Episode 2 (Parody)
The Jungle Book Revisited (Parody)
The Black Dahlia Revisted (Parody)
The Nazi Bastard Diaries
Einstein On Lunch (Tiny Tale #1)
Robespierre's Doll (Tiny Tale #2)
The White Book (Tiny Tale #3)
Curse of the Body Snatchers (Tiny Tale #4)
Bruce's Enormous Penis (Tiny Tale #5)
Red Rock (Tiny Tale #6)
The Gentlemen's Club (Tiny Tale #7)
Rising (Tiny Tale #8) -- NEW!
Barbershop Quartet #1
Barbershop Quartet #2
Barbershop Quartet #3
Barbershop Quartet #4

Check out what you've missed in the Archive.

Plus: Turtle Live Cam! (North Carolina (UTC -5) daylight hours)

NOVEMBER UPDATE:

October will be known – at least to myself known – as being
the month I got my new laptop computer. Considering that both
my old laptop and my old desktop were about 8 years old, you
can imagine what an upgrade this new HP Pavilion is in terms
of speed and space. Now all I have to do is fill in that space. p:
Also, Fall is here and the weather has been deliciously cold.
I would say “cool” but in all honestly it's just been downright
cold on most days. So that is another blessing. Also went to
my first concert in years – Gordon Lightfoot. And then there
was Halloween. I actually got some Trick 'R Treaters at the
door for the first time in about 5 years. I think it's great
that parents are getting more out of the protective mode and
letting their kids go door-to-door again. Well that's about
all for now. By the time I write the next update we will no
doubt have had some snow here already. “Ho ho ho, I love the
snow!” Have a great month and a happy Thanksgiving.


Best wishes to all,
Edward Piercy



That I have made all transformations
According to the dictates of my heart
In all places that have desired my ka



STICKY POST

P.M.P.I. Theme Music





To play the music, click on George or Glenn's picture.

(Please be patient. It will take a minute to connect with your media player.)


George Friedrich Handel
Suite in D minor HWV 447
Courante
Artist: Keith Jarrett
Format (MP3) / Timing (02:31)

Light and dark combined.



J.S. Bach
Partita in G Major BWV 829
Praeambulum
Artist: Glenn Gould
Format (MP3) / Timing (01:47)

Now playing in a galaxy near you...





Didn't know where to put this map, so I'm putting it here.


Locations of visitors to this page







I.Q. vs S.Q.



Prof. Stephen W. Hawking.
A smart guy who has actually done something
positive for the world.




Who are the smartest people in the world? Well this list gives the top
10 humans with the highest I.Q. (Some lists may differ.)


1. Physicist/Engineer Kim Ung-yong (210)
2. Bouncer Christopher Michael Langan (195)
3. Engineer Philip Emeagwali (190)
4. World Chess Champion Garry Kasparov (190)
5. Author Marilyn Vos Savant (186)
6. Actor James Woods (180)
7. Politician John H. Sunununu (180)
8. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (180)
9. Mathematician Andrew Wiles (170)
10. World Chess Champion Judith Polgar (170)
11. Chess Grandmaster Robert Byrne (170)
12. World Chess Champion Bobby Fischer (167)
13. Mathematician / Physicist Stephen W. Hawking (160)
14. Microsoft Founder Paul Allen (160)
15. Actress Sharon Stone (154)


As I mentioned some lists may differ. I remember reading a few years
back that actress Geena Davis had an I.Q of 160, which would place her
above Sharon Stone. And my guess is that there are a few other
peculiarities about the list as well. It is likely that there are many
people in the world who don't get tested at all but who are extremely
intelligent.

Anyway, that's the list. I notice there are a good number of chess
grandmasters on the list. It's good to know that we have some extremely
intelligent people who are out there helping the world by playing chess.

I am sure too that many evil people through history have been very
intelligent. I suppose the one that comes to my mind first would be
Joseph Stalin. I don't have an I.Q. score for him, but I would say that
what he did in taking a seemingly worthless job like Party Secretary and
turning it into the most powerful political job in the Soviet Union
certainly shows a high degree of intelligence. And yet he murdered his
political opponents, committed genocide, and (in my view) sacrificed the
lives of millions of Soviet citizens playing a "lose the battle, win the
war" strategy against the Nazis.

I've personally known some very intelligent people in my life. Some of
these people while smart also told themselves that they were good, when
they really weren't good at all. I've known smart people who use or
abuse others. And I've known smart people who have been totally
self-destructive.

I think that intelligence is overrated. I think it has its limitations.
That it sometimes becomes flawed. That it can lead to complicating the
world where complication is not needed.

If I were to be given a choice between dating a girl who was smart or
one who was sweet, I would take the sweet girl every single time.

But maybe that's just me.



Now here's a girl who scores very high
on the Sweetness Quotient.
(Drew Barrymore)




A Blending of Icons





What could be better than to take two of America’s cultural obsessions
-- fast food and the automobile -- and bring them together?

Thus, the drive-in restaurant.

There are still a few of them around. But for the most part they gave
way to the greater convenience of the drive-thru window. What was lost
of course was the social networking component of It all. Without the
drive-in young people who wanted to hang out with each other would have
to do it elsewhere.

The car hops that worked at the drive-ins were almost always female and
wore cute outfits. Thus perhaps there were really three elements to the
drive-in -- fast food, the automobile, and sex.





And speaking of sex there was also the drive-in theater. I wonder how
many young people got their first sexual experiences in a car at a
drive-in theater. The drive-in movie combined our love of the automobile
with our love of the movies. Otherwise it really made no sense. If it
rained, you were screwed. The sound quality out of the little speaker
which rested on the edge of your window was terrible. And usually it was
a good long walk to the concession stand.





The automobile never did get mixed up with two of our other cultural
icons, guns and the bible. I think I remember hearing something a long
time back about drive-in churches. But those didn't catch on. As for
combining cars and guns, well, I think everybody can see the public
safety issues that might be involved in that one.

How about guns and family values? Well, sure.





And what about guns and the bible? Surely not...



Did somebody say "guns and the bible"?



The Hands of the Queen

,





The hands of Valentina Lisitsa.



Into the Wild






Yesterday I picked up a discount video over at the grocery.
So after I finished watching the New York Yankees win the
World Series (damn Yankees!) I got a glass of Pepsi and put
on my headphones and watched Into the Wild (2007).

The story is based more or less on fact and the life of Chris
McCandless. When the movie opens McCandless has just graduated
from college. He briefly considers law school. But Chris has
always been a bit of a Thoreauean rebel, and ultimately decides
to get away from his troubled relationship with his well-to-do
parents and go “into the wild” -- away from pretty much all of
the trappings of civilization. As such he packs his backpack and
hops in his old Toyota and goes on the road Kerouac-style. Once
in Arizona he even abandons his car and from then on walks. His
travels take him from the Dakotas to the Gulf of Baja and north
into Washington, and of course points in between. Along the way
he takes the intermittent job. And he meets people -- a odd-ball
farmer, an old hippie couple, an ex-military man who has lost his
family. But foremost in his mind, forming a kind of golden thread,
is his desire to realize his “Alaskan Adventure” as he puts it,
to get to Alaska and as far away from civilization and other human
beings as possible, truly “into the wild.”

It’s a compelling story. But as the movie progressed I began to
feel that Chris’ golden thread was actually a steel wire. As great
as it was that he realized his dream it was sad how he so utterly
abandoned his family and how too his desire for self-actualization
eventually took precedence over a true gift -- his ability to help
and inspire others. So my view by the end of the movie was that his
coming to terms with his past family life and learning that we are
seldom meant to live alone in the world came far to late.

Directed by Sean Penn, the movie in its course piles up more filming
locations than any movie I can think of, and I imagine the crew got
awfully tired of packing all the cameras and equipment into the truck
over and over again. But the result is certainly worth it. You truly
feel as if you are on the road with Chris because of this.

Into the Wild is one of those little gems that makes sitting through
all of the typical action films and romantic comedies worth it. I highly
recommended it.




A Billion Years Away

, ,






I’m not normally given to writing song lyrics, but back in
the 80s I came up with the words for a punk rock song. Here’s
the song:


“Write One Song”

by

Edward Piercy


Write one song and play it to death
Write one song and play it to death
Write one song and play it to death
Write one song and play it to death

Write one song
Play it to death
Write one song
Play it to death

Write one song and play it to death
Write one song and play it to death
Write one song and play it to death
Write one song and play it to death

Write one song
Play it to death
Write one song
Play it to death



Following upon the success (in my own mind) of that song,
I wrote another one:


“Write Two Songs”

by

Edward Piercy


Write two songs and play ’em to death
Write two songs and play ’em to death
Write two songs and play ’em to death
Write two songs and play ’em to death

Write two songs
Play ’em to death
Write two songs
Play ’em to death


Etc. etc etc. I think you get the idea.


I never did write a third punk song for some reason. Though
I’m pretty sure that I could.

Also back in the 80s I wrote a song called “Heart Parasol.”
I wrote it while visiting my sister and brother-in-law at
their house near Grissom AFB in Indiana. My brother-in-law,
John, ended up setting the words to music. And eventually,
recently, he recorded it. You can listen to the song on
John’s MySpace page if you care to.

I don’t remember the lyrics to that one. So I can’t put them
down here. I do remember vaguely what my life was like back
then, what I was thinking and feeling. Lots of ancient Roman
history. Lots of beer. Xanax. Echo and the Bunnymen. And of
course the seemingly ever-present depression over some girl
or another.

It seems like so long ago. But of course it wasn’t. It always
gets me when people meet and one will say “Gee, it’s been a
long time.” And the other person will respond “Yes, it has
been. Too long” or something to that effect.

But it hasn’t been a long time. A billion years, now that’s a
long time. All our time is but the blink of a star’s eye.




The Corona Borealis super cluster of galaxies, located
approximately 1 billion light years away from us.




Internet Junk Drawer 10





Well it's been a while since I've done one
of these. But getting the new laptop gives
me the perfect opportunity to go through
some old files, and a few new ones.




Carole Lombard and Clark Gable.

Hey, people, get a room!




Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg
in Breathless (1960).

One of my favorite movies.




Valentina Tereshkova

The first woman in space.
(Vostok 6, 1963)




Billie Holiday and her dog, Mister.




Comedian Soupy Sales.

(d. October 22, 2009)




Marilyn Monroe and Groucho Marx, 1949.

Boy you can really tell she was a
redhead in this one.




Is it just me, or was Morticia Addams HOT?




Yvonne Craig as Batgirl.




A still from Mars Needs Women (1967).
Yvonne Craig (above) was in this movie too.




Natalie Wood.

No, Natalie, don't go near the water!
DON'T GO NEAR THE WATER!!!

(Sorry, just had to do it!)




The BMW Isetta.

The one BMW doesn't like to talk about.




Andy Warhol at The Studio.




William S. Burroughs in a sleazy hotel
in Paris, 1959.




The Theramin, one of the first electronic
instruments. The photo is from 1927.




A nurse during the great Influenza pandemic
of 1918-19. The epidemic killed between 50
and 100 million people worldwide.




London, England, 1940.




Wesel, Germany, 1945.


I and the schoolboy know
What every schoolboy knows –
That those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.


– W.B. Yeats.




As is the custom, we conclude with some
sleazy photo of an actress or celebrity.
This time it is Oksana Baiul, 1994 Olympic
gold-medal ice skater.

I'm speechless.