The Jungle Book Revisited
Tuesday, 21. August 2007, 02:35:45
The dastardly Captain Curtain in The Jungle Book.
The Jungle Book, by Rudyard Kipling, is one of those ‘enduring classics’
of Western literature. Not that I have read it myself mind you, but then
there are a lot of books that I have never read even though I have heard
they are good, and I hear that The Jungle Book is a book of this sort.
But I did get the opportunity, quite by accident, to see a Disney movie
version of it the other night on late-night television
For those of you who have never read the book and have never seen the
movie either, I thought I would take time to provide a service and give
a quick synopsis of the movie, just in case you find it on late-night
television sometime and wonder whether it is worth watching.
Unfortunately, I am afraid there will be certain gaps in my narrative as
I did doze off a few times. I also failed to get some of the characters
names, but to get things rolling and tell the story I’m going to make
some names up. Well, actually, I think I missed all the names and am
going to make all of them up. But I’m sure you can sort it all out later
if you see the movie.
The head British guy I will call Major Tom. Major Tom has a daughter of
‘ripe age’ as they used to say (and evidently as I still say for some
reason) named Anne. I thought about calling her Marlena, because for
some reason she seemed to look like a Marlena, but that doesn’t sound
like a very British name so I will call her Anne. There is also a young
Indian lad named Sobok, which I think is actually a Vulcan name out of
Star Trek but that’s what I’m going to call him anyway.
Sobok has for some reason been raised in the Indian jungle by wolves and
a few assorted other animals such as monkeys. Anne loves Sobok, even
though he has been raised by monkeys.
There is a very bad British officer chap who I will call Captain Curtain,
simply because I like to make use of alliteration every once in a while.
Captain Curtain is in love with Anne. But Anne has no interest in Captain
Curtain, even though he is an officer in the British Army and thus one of
the world’s elite. The main thing that seems to turn her off about him is
that he is pretty much a mean, greedy, self-serving dastard –- the word
dastard of course referring to the dastardly deeds that he will soon commit.
At the beginning of the movie Major Tom is traveling through the jungle by
way of elephant taxi. It is not exactly clear why a British Administrator
would ever need to take a trip into the wild jungles of India, but for now
let’s just say that it is something that he was doing. Out of nowhere (well,
out of the jungle somewhere) a tiger appears, which frightens the elephant
and almost causes Major Tom to spill his tea, which he has been drinking on
board the elephant taxi to beat the jungle heat. But suddenly and also out
of nowhere (i.e., again the jungle) the young Sobok appears. He calms the
elephant, thereby saving Major Tom the embarrassment of spilling tea on his
trousers, which of course would cause the fall of the British Empire. “There,
that’s a good lad” Major Tom tells Sobok, “you certainly seem to have a talent
with these pachydermic beasts. I tell you what, come by my tent tonight and
I will reward you with a potato.”
Captain Curtain and Anne.
So Sobok goes to the tent that night to get his potato, but Major Tom as
it happens is fresh out of potatoes and almost as an afterthought invites
Sobok to return with him to civilization. Which of course is generally
considered to be better than living in the jungle with monkeys. Unless
you are actually a monkey, in which case you may want to stay where you
are. On the other hand, I hear civilization offers many jobs for the ambitious
monkey, such as working with organ-grinders, which I hear pays pretty well
on the monkey scale of things.
I then fell asleep for a while, and when I woke up tigers were attacking
the jungle camp and eating people and all hell was breaking loose. Now
you would think that people surprised by man-eating tigers coming into
camp would run away from the sound of roaring tigers and pathetic screaming
victims and head in the opposite direction. But of course people in camps
don’t do that but instead panic and head in all sorts of different directions.
Maybe one day in the distant future humans will learn not to do that. Just as
maybe some day we will learn not to run up a building staircase when chased
by the police or the bad guy, which only traps us on the roof.
It was a rough night in camp but the following morning Major Tom and
Sobok and the rest of them pack up what is left of the camp after the
tiger attack and head back to civilization. This is when Sobok and Anne
actually meet up with each other and immediately fall in love. Sobok
also meets Captain Curtain at that point. Captain Curtain, having
learned that Sobok had been raised in the jungle by wolves and had hung
out with a lot of monkeys immediately tries to make friends with Sobok.
But he really doesn't want to be friends with him, he just wants
information as to the location of the legendary Lost Monkey City that
according to the stories floating around contains a great treasure
trove. So Captain Curtain has a good long talk with Sobok, and in order
to get in with him he fills him in about the basics of civilization.
“What is hate?” says Sobok at one point. “Well, hmm, just something you
learn in school, I suppose. Like when the headmaster beats you across
the bum with a stick while he calls you a filthy French whore. But no
need to go into all of that now.” In any case Sobok has no idea where
the Lost Monkey City is, even though Captain Curtain of course thinks he
does.
Sobok also gets a course in civilization from a kindly physician in the
fort, Dr. Spock. And I am of course borrowing names again there. Anyway,
Dr. Spock turns out to be a little on the eccentric side and his educational
methods are very much of the odd sort too, so Sobok ends up knowing
as much about civilization after his visit with Dr. Spock as he did before,
which is to say pretty much nothing. Nevertheless he is at least able to
pick himself out a very nice outfit to wear to the big dance they have that
evening, and he looks very handsome in his new clothes. Anne of course wants
to dance with him. But pretty much everybody else at the party makes Sobok
feel like he shouldn't be there due to having been raised by wolves and
monkeys. Or perhaps it is simply because he's an Indian, and of course this
is British India, and so the last thing you would want at your lovely party
is an actual Indian. Unless they are carrying round the drink tray, of course.
At that point Sobok, having been made fun of at the party and distrustful
of Captain Curtain, decides that he can no longer live in civilization and
decides to return to the jungle where things make a bit more sense. Anne is
sad to see him leave, but can’t think of any properly virginal way to make
him stay.
When Sobok returns to the jungle Captain Curtain loses his trump card,
and has to come up with a new plan. Recruiting a bunch of other dastardly
types, he decides to kidnap Major Tom and Anne during their next unnecessary
trip through the jungle. So Captain Curtain and the other dastards attack
their convoy, with the expectation that Sobok will come to their rescue and
reveal the location of the Lost Monkey City. During the ruckus that ensues,
Major Tom is hit on the head by a rifle butt, which causes some sort of minor
epileptic or other neurological condition, and at this point Captain Curtain
and the other dastards seem to have the upper hand.
But Sobok has discovered the kidnapping somehow, and he plays it smart.
He knows that once he gets all the dastards deeper into the jungle proper
that he will have the advantage. He then leads them through a trip through
the jungle that would make the Baatan Death March seem like a walk through
the shopping mall, had the Death March taken place yet and had there as yet
been any shopping malls.
Very bad things begin to happen to the dastards. The loud-mouth Scot
falls into a bed of quicksand. Another dastard runs into a tiger, who
has a pleasant time chasing the soldier through the jungle before he
finally decides he has had enough fun and decides to eat him. Sobok,
meanwhile, who has allowed himself to be tied to a tree by the dastards
has been freed by a black panther friend and rescues Major Tom and Anne.
They escape on the backs of two large elephants, with Sobok taking
time to remind Major Tom that he still owes him a potato. Major Tom
tells Sobok that if they make it out of the situation alive that he will
give him two potatoes, but that is only because Major Tom has been hit
in the head with a rifle butt and is suffering from epilepsy.
Sobok rescues the now epileptic Major Tom,
for which he may or may not receive a potato.
Meanwhile Captain Curtain has quite inadvertently discovered the Lost
Monkey City up on the side of a mountain, and has climbed up to an
outcropping just below. Being quite alone and having lost all his
dastardly supporters he yells out “Monkey! Monkey!” or something to
that effect into the valley below. At this point it is obvious that
Captain Curtain is not only a dastard, but has now become an insane
dastard. But Captain Curtain has at least discovered the Lost Monkey
City, you gotta give him that, and now that he has shouted down into
the valley Sobok and the others now know where the city is too.
Eventually, everybody ends up in a cave in the Lost Monkey City. And
there does prove to be a great treasure there, a fortune in gold and
jewels. Captain Curtain wastes no time in helping himself to the treasure,
putting all the jewels he can into a backpack.
But Captain Curtain doesn’t get away with the loot, never fear. Surprised
by a snake big enough to eat an elephant, he falls into a deep pool of
water in the center of the cave and is dragged down by his backpack loaded
with loot. Faced with imminent death, he shucks his greed and the backpack,
only to be attacked again by the giant snake, who it turns out is amphibious.
Unless of course this is a different snake. But I seriously doubt whether
the rather closed ecosystem of a large cave containing only gold, jewels,
and a bunch of monkeys could support two giant snakes.
Thus things end, and Sobok and Anne kiss in front of a beautiful waterfall.
But the future of their relationship is rather unclear. Back in the nineteenth
century, good proper British women didn’t marry people from the colonial
territories, whether raised by wolves or not. But that’s all right, it’s just
a movie, and in a movie you don’t have to be too strict on details like that
because ‘happily ever after’ really only comes after all the end credits –-
and probably lasts about as long.
Whether Sobok ever got his potatoes or not is also unknown. Let’s just assume
that he finally did and leave it at that. This is, after all, supposed to be
a happy ending.
As it turns out the Lost Monkey City does indeed
contain lost monkeys, who are unable to read the
conveniently placed tourist maps.
