Edward Piercy

Curse of the Body Snatchers

Monday, 19. May 2008, 21:01:04

"Bring them in, Evgeny" the decrepit old man said from the low platform
of his wheelchair. "Show me what you have brought this time."

The servant motioned to two guards by the door. They turned and opened
it. Two other guards came through, dragging a man and a woman into the
secret, underground laboratory located in a salt mine in Utah. The man's
and woman's hands were tied. There was the look of panic about their eyes.

"Ah, this might be more acceptable" the ancient scientist said. "The last
ones you brought were useless! But that one there, that is a definite
possibility. I need the new body soon. This old shell can't last much
longer. I need to transplant my consciousness into a brand new form!"

The old man, Gravilian, looked the pair over. The man they had brought
was not youthful, middle aged but in apparent good health. He was ruggedly
good looking. The evil madman then turned to look at the woman. She was
almost thirty perhaps, dark brunette, and very beautiful. Gravilian looked
her body over closely. She was petite and buxom, with delicate pale ankles.

"Put the woman on the exchange process table!" he ordered.

"No!" her partner said, struggling unsuccessfully to free himself from
the grip of the guards. "Whatever madness you are up to, you pathetic
old loon, use me! Use me!"

Gravilian waved his hand at him. "I have no use for your body" he said.
"Except, perhaps, as food for Evgeny here. I will do as I wish." He
repeated his order to the guards, and a minute later the woman was
fastened to the table by her ankles and wrists.

The scientist approached the woman closer in his wheel chair. At her
feet, he reached up and touched the woman's stylish white pumps almost
lovingly.

"What size shoe do you wear, my dear?" he said to her. The woman, wide
eyed, merely began to sob. "I said what size shoe do you wear!" he yelled.

"I...I wear a size six!" she said, somehow frightened more than ever.

"Good!" Gravilian laughed. "Very good! Because I would hate to have to
replace my entire closet full of high-heels!"

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Comments

lokutus_prime # 19. May 2008, 21:45

Edward, I've spotlighted this, it's superb!

The tension builds; it's the 'twilight zone' all over again. Is there going to be a "body snatch"?. I read on and my mouth grew a little dry as I slipped into the 'genre', the time, the moment of the story. Beautifully crafted. Short sentences, no wasted narrative; the dialogue slips back and forth. Is it more than the "twighlight zone" I found myself thinking. I had an "X-Files" moment, as I slowly read on. I say "slowly" because I can also 'spead-read', but not here, not with this. not in any sense did I want the tale to finish. But when it did I let out a shaky sigh of relief, started to smile, then snort, and that turned into laughter. What a sneaky ending! How clever, how foxy you are my good friend! Wow! I loved every word of it.

Being a writer of short stories my self I appreciated the brevity but in this instance I really had no idea of how long the drama would build to, or what the ending would be. No, that's not entirely accurate. The fact is, you led me by the nose. I followed, eyes down thoughts focusing. The feeling of being back in a time when stories like this one were written with a view to grabbing, holding, keeping the reader's attention. Oh mercy! This was a fine tale Edward. And it would make a very watchable 'short' for a tv series, on a channel dedicated to this "atmospheric' genre. I say hurrah!, Well done! More please! Author!

Fabulous tale with a classic 'twist' in the ending

Thanks so much for giving me a 'heads-up' on this, dear Edward. I am so honored to have been one of the first to read this.

Loku

Stardancer # 19. May 2008, 21:51

edwardpiercy # 19. May 2008, 21:56

Loku, great thanks. I was thinking more of a skit from Saturday Night Live -- okay, I wasn't, but it would probably fit.

I am happy that you were the first to read it -- "fitting and just!"

Star, thank you too, glad it made you laugh.

ellinidata # 19. May 2008, 22:30

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ! thank goodness my shoe size is 7 ! for a moment , reading the description of her body I thought it was me!!

I can now breath normal! ( I kind liked my heavy breathing!)
I am going back to read it again !

kudos !!!

edwardpiercy # 19. May 2008, 22:52

It was originally size 7. But I thought 6 just sounded better as it was read! And thank you too VVM.

ellinidata # 20. May 2008, 00:30

I am glad you changed it! (she must be Chinese with shoe size 6