Pat Maginess: Private-Eye

I wish you well, Ed.

Have you killed anybody yet?



I know the feeling, my friend. I'm glad your purgatory will end soon.

I still have days when I would almost kill for a cigarette. And I wanted to stop smoking.

Kinda.

Thanks.

But will ya' smoke one for me, please?

Sorry to laugh but I have to. It keeps me from going insane! Quitting smoking is a bitch plain and simple. I don't even like to talk about it because it makes me want one. Being on the computer makes me want one. After I eat, I want one. The desire for it doesn't end. It will eventually, I know this.

I had a slip up on Thanksgiving. I was annoyed with the stupid shells that wouldn't come off the eggs easily which made me an hour late to the brunch. One egg slid off the plate as I was wrapping it....a treat for the dogs (that's one good thing) but I cursed at the egg. At the EGG. I was sounding like my dad! Then when I arrived, everyone was sitting watching that horrible movie 'Bad Santa' and I was struggling with the door and three bags of stuff I'd made. NO ONE got up to help me. That added to my already annoyed self. You see, this is the part of quitting I don't like. It makes me all pissy. I'm never pissy and I don't like being pissy.

There....I ranted. You can be stupid and I'll be pissy.

I hope your mom feels better Ed,

I also hope your mom feels better - and you reintegrate those brain chemicals of yours!

Sorry to be in such a bad mood Ed. I really do hope your mom is ok.

Joining a gang Hope she will be ok and that you will be ok, as well.

When I saw my doctor about quitting the wet stuff - in what seems to be ages ago - he said, that he himself hadn't had a smoke for eight years; while telling me about it, his eyes turned all wet and nostalgic and he added in a low voice, 'And, you know, Martin... I still miss sitting in my easy chair with a good book, smoking my pibe...' Then he didn't say anything in a couple of moments and I could tell he was restraining himself from releasing a deep sigh.

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em...

I know I will.

When I sometimes desperately want to smoke, I put on some old and ragged clothes, go out into the yard and put myself on fire.

Then I smoke alright - but I want to quit the habit very soon.

So, my brother asked me, 'Do you smoke after sex?'

'No,' I answered. 'But I sometimes feel a little sore...'

In Purgatory
Dante said there is a line
stretching for ever
beyond Space & Time.

And every soul there
tried to joke
that in Purgatory
there is no smoke.

In Purgatory
Dante thought they
were describing Lucifer
at rest one day,

But Dante never knew
a smoke with filter tip
and missed the joke.

In Purgatory
Dante said there is a line
stretching for ever
beyond Space & Time.

But he has never
seen our Ed
Smokeless - shivering
under the bed

and quivering with
his smokeless head
covered in anti-nico tabs,
the things that crusaders
make in labs.

In Purgatory
Dante said there is a line
stretching for ever
beyond Space & Time.

Ed knows his Dante
and will agree
that the circles
of imaginary smoke rings
go on endlessly.




(c) Prime Purgator

Virgil has shown up Ed - he's also hopped over to my page for a quick smoke there because Beatrice keeps on taunting him here

See

Ed knows his Dante
and will agree
that the circles
of imaginary smoke rings
go on endlessly.


but in the context you just mentioned substitute:



Ed knows his Dante
and will agree
that the circles
of twiggys who hate ciggys
go on endlessly.

Two men go to prison. Solitary confinement for 12 months each. In court the judge decides to grant them one wish each, before they are put away. One guy says, he wants 200 bottles of whiskey. It is granted. The other guy wants 100 cartons of cigarettes. It is granted.

12 months later they open the door to the first guy's cell. He laughs and says, 'Already?', but when they open the door to the second guy's cell, they find him sitting in a corner, shaking.

'About time!' he says. 'Any of you have a lighter?'

ROFL - nice one Martin!

Poor Edward...

Ed. - keep reading Virgil and Dante. This'll take your mind off things, but dont tear out the pages and try to make rollups

You guys are cracking me up this morning!

Meanwhile, enjoy this.

Ed - Dang! This is my role model - or am I thinking of Bart Simpson? .... wait a moment .... "I didn't do it!" .... Yup! - that sounds like my role model

Issy - don't look left - look at The Simpsons

Dante would have gone for the ciggies, Ed

You have pepsi + cigs? - Pick me up and call me Beatrice

i hope your mother gets better real soon, ed.

speaking of mothers and smoking. i quit once for ten years and i was trying to get my mother to quit. she said,
"try to follow this my dear boy... suppose i do quit and after a year, i get run over by a bus. just imagine how many cigarettes i will have wasted."
well, she did quit eventually, and i started again. so when i asked her how she had managed to quit, she said, " i just forgot to smoke." she had alzheimers the last two years.
and she was the funniest alzheimer lady in the world.