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Pat Maginess: Private-Eye

Hard Shelled Detective Fiction by Edward Piercy

My Cell Phone is a Dirty Rotten Liar

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I was looking through a list of add-on Blackberry applications the
other day when I came across Phoney Call. This app lets you program
your Blackberry to ring at a predetermined time as if you are getting a
real incoming call.

If you have a meeting at 3:00 that you are simply not prepared for,
just use Phoney Call to ring at 3:10 and then tell them you have a
client that you have to take care of immediately. Or let's say you are
out on a date and know within 20 minutes that it's going nowhere. No
problem, you simply go back to the restroom and set the phone to ring
five minutes later and then tell your date that your Aunt Mildred is
dying and that you have to leave.

It seems that we can now have our machines lie for us. Or at least join
in the conspiracy. Which to me seems kinda...

Wait, I have a call. I'll get back with you later on this.



Hubble Gets an Upgrade

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The improved Hubble Space Telescope.



As most of you are probably aware NASA recently sent a crew up to
refurbish the Hubble Space Telescope. NASA had one old, crappy shuttle
on standby for this particular mission just in case the older and even
crappier one they sent up got into trouble somehow.

Once up in space, crew members of STS-125 then went about the task of
loading a new digital camera which is about the size of a coffin into the
old telescope which is about the size of a large school bus. Which I'm
sure will look great on their resume once they get back to earth and
apply for that job at Hennessy Funeral Home.

It's amazing that the Hubble is still operational, let alone receiving an
upgrade. Several years ago the telescope was scheduled to shut down. But
public interest and finally Congressional oversight kept the program going.
The result has been some of the most amazing images of the universe ever
seen. And the new camera holds even more promise.

We might very well be confined in a nutshell. But we can still travel the
firmament -- in spite of bad dreams.



Anthony Bourdain

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Anthony Bourdain (center) in Sri Lanka.



Over the past few weeks I have become quite addicted to a show on the
Travel Channel. It's a cooking show, strangely enough. Or maybe it's a
travel show. In any case it is Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.

Anthony Bourdain is not just an ordinary travel show host. He is part
all-consuming chef, part gonzo travel writer, part 19th century
explorer, and part cultural anthropologist. I suppose it is the later
that drew me to the show when I first came across it. Like an
anthropologist in the field, Bourdain truly gets up close and personal
with people on the show and their culture. Sometimes in a particular
city he will visit with some old friend. But just as often he is making
new ones. And as viewers you become his friend as well -- he spends a
lot of time talking directly into the camera. Or at least glancing at
it every once in a while as he looks off into the distance, checking
things out.

He smokes cigarettes, unabashedly. He drinks just about any brand of
beer that comes his way. And of course most of all he eats. He eats
lots, without regard for cholesterol or sodium and without entering his
caloric intake into his cell phone. And yet he seems fit and slim. I
think the reason for that is simply that he walks. If he eats a lot, he
walks even more. Except perhaps for the trip in from and out to the
airport, or the occasional trip into the wilds, he spends a lot of time
as a pedestrian. He walks to restaurants he wants to visit, to a museum,
to another restaurant, to a famous local jazz joint, and back to whatever
hotel he is staying at. You rarely see him in a vehicle. All of which is
a good reminder that life really is about balancing things.

Bourdain visits famous landmarks and museums occasionally. And he
sometimes will dine at a famous world-class restaurant -- what chef
wouldn't. But he is just as likely to go off the beaten path and visit
a 150 year old sea-side tavern, an art gallery which sells paintings
on black velvet, or some mom-and-pop sandwich joint. In that respect
No Reservations is similar to Globe Trekker, except that Bourdain
is at once much more serious and much more irreverent. And far more
original.

Almost half the food Bourdain wolfs down on the show is eaten somewhere
out in the wilds -- grilled giant scallops with sweet onions on a beach,
blackened salmon on a camping trip, a breakfast of sweet and sour pork
in the middle of a jungle, gourmet sandwiches out on a picnic on a lava
desert in Iceland. All the food prepared by expert chefs, of course. To
me, at least, it was the outdoor feasts that usually looked the most
enticing for some reason. The vegetables served on the camping trip
outside Portland had my mouth watering and I soon had to hit the
refrigerator.

But these days the world can sometimes be a dangerous place. In an
episode which won an Emmy Award in 2007, Bourdain and his producer
and crew visited Beirut in July, 2006. As Bourdain notes, they arrived
very optimistic, exited about the food they were about to eat, excited
by the people that seemed ecstatic to welcome them there. But reality
quickly set in to the sound of automatic weapons fire in the distance.
And then, suddenly, things turned totally to shit. The Israeli-Hezbollah
war broke out and they were soon holed up in their hotel, prisoners of
circumstance. Luckily, the crew were among those who were eventually
evac'd by U.S. Navy ships. Bourdain had high praise for the U.S. Marines
on board who went around and talked with the evacuees and tried to
make them feel less fearful. And it was on board this ship that Bourdain
ate what might have been the most interesting food featured on his show,
a "high-school cafeteria" meal of chicken and noodles, corn dogs, and
macaroni and cheese. After all the uncertainty and stress and outright
fear, Bourdain says, "Nothing had ever tasted so good."

Which kind of puts things in perspective a bit.



Real Life



Just a few more shots from my life,
such as it is.




Listening to Bach.





Watch.





Jay's World.



25 iPhones, 15 Blackberries, and a Lotta Other Shit



(Just click on the pic to watch the video.)


Well, that's our macrotech culture for ya. LOL.

About the only thing they didn't mention were
the 18 students who got on their blog the next
day and did a post on the fire.

OMG! I couldn't believe there was this fire so me
and Chrissie grabbed a couple of Red Bulls out
of the ice bucket and ran outside and watched
the hunky firemen arrive. I think this one firehunk
was staring at my rack, I swear, so I waved at him
and yelled like BRING IT ON firehunk!




The Paths of Life

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"As the metabolic complexity of protobiological systems increased, so
did the functional diversity of macromolecules carrying out metabolic
reactions. Novel catalysts might have emerged from random sequences, as
discussed above, but other, more efficient mechanisms might have been
at play. In particular, evolutionary flexibility may have allowed those
early proteins to improve their catalytic efficiency, or to alter their
substrate specificity in response to a small number of mutations. This
mechanism has been demonstrated for a number of highly evolved enzymes
from contemporary cells (Aharoni et al., 2005, Yoshikuni et al., 2006,
Khersonsky et al., 2006). We propose that the same mechanism applied to
primitive functional proteins, thus providing a powerful fitness criterion.
Proteins lacking evolutionary flexibility would not have been very useful
during natural selection."


-- Andrew Pohorille et al., "Origins of Functional Proteins and the Early
Evolution of Metabolism."


(Source.)



To Serve and Protect






I was downtown a couple of weekends back and while out
on a smoke break took this photo of a cop car outside the
Satellite Lounge.

I really don't mind the presence of cops on a busy night.
I happen to be a law abiding citizen (for the most part)
and don't have to worry much about the cops. And I am
sure that the presence of police downtown on a Friday
night such as this helps to make people think twice
about getting themselves into any type of trouble.

I am quite willing to support my local police and to
give them any help I can. But in return I expect better
cops, ones who aren't just out to push their weight
around, who respect citizens and civil rights, and who
do truly take the words "to serve and protect" seriously.

This doesn't have to be an adversarial relationship.



Mama Duck Update



Amelia Duckheart and her brood.
(KREM2 News photo.)




As I mentioned on a previous post there was a female duck that roosted
at the Sterling Savings Bank here in Spokane and which laid a bunch of
eggs. There was also a contest to name the duck held by KREM2 News
Spokane.

My entry, "Beneduck XVI," didn't win. Maybe because it was a male name
for a female duck. In any case, the winning entry was "Amelia Duckheart."
Which I think is a really good name.

Well about one hour after the naming contest winner was announced, at
7:00 p.m. Friday PST, the duck's eggs finally hatched. Amelia Duckheart
is now the concerned mother of 12 ducklings.