Thursday, 5. March 2009, 00:34:17
The Republic of Bullshit
The Indian government this week expressed its concern
regarding the sale of Ghandi's bong at an auction
in New York.
"He is the father of our country" said the Indian
Culture Ministry. "And his totally awesome bong
should be in India."
The sale also is set to include Ghandi's favorite
t-shirt and his skateboard.
The auction is similar to one last year in which
George Washington's false teeth and his collection
of bawdy babe prints were sold for $120,000.
Dude, you rock!
Saturday, 21. February 2009, 22:42:55
The Republic of Bullshit
I was watching the end of Gone With the Wind today,
and got to thinking about Scarlett's famous last line --
"Tomorrow is another day."
In actual fact, tomorrow isn't another day. It's just
today, just like today is.
I only use such imaginary concepts as "Thursday" or
"the weekend" when I am forced to, talking with other
people. For me, it is much more sensible to think of
"Today" and that's pretty much it.
And BTW, even though it is kinda-sorta off-topic, I
think that the last line in GWTW should have been
"Frankly, Scarlett, you won't be getting any child support."
Friday, 20. February 2009, 01:47:16
The Republic of Bullshit
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger,
aka Arnold the Barbarian, aka The Terminator,
has trouble removing a plastic number on a hook
from the 'deficit clock' at the California
State Capitol Building.
Seriously. It took him like 15 full seconds to
get that No. 6 off of there.
Tuesday, 17. February 2009, 00:02:31
The Republic of Bullshit
Fallacy Records today announced the issue of J.S. Spock's debut album,
The Well-Tempered Harp, due out in record stores and on the internet
in July.
The song track list from the album:
THE WELL-TEMPERED HARP
1. That's not logical
2. I assume you are joking
3. Seven years is a long time without love
4. I left one of my hearts in San Francisco
5. Fugue in X minor (instrumental)
6. I must again assume you are joking
7. My tricorder is most fascinating
8. I only have ears for you (Romulan remix)
9. Enterprise, my Enterprise
10. I'd like to give you a mind meld, baby
Friday, 30. January 2009, 02:20:14
The Republic of Bullshit
Faced with a seemingly impossible state debt of $40 billion dollars, the
State of California has agreed to accept an infusion of cash from the State
of Rhode Island.
"We won't be asking for much in return" said the Office of Controls and
Accounts for Rhode Island. "We now own California's off-shore oil wells.
And of course they'll have to move their state capitol to Newport Island."
Tuesday, 13. January 2009, 01:50:26
The Republic of Bullshit
I've been getting these calls over the past six months.
When I pick up the phone, a recorded voice says "You have
been called by an inmate at Global Tel-link. If you wish
to accept this call..." etc.
It seems somebody in prison is trying to call me and wants
me to pick up the tab. To the best of my knowledge, I don't
know anybody in prison. So of course when I get one of those
calls, I hang up.
So to all prisoners out there, or at least to the one who
keeps calling me, if you are reading this I want to ask you
to quit calling. It's getting to be a real pain in the ass.
Unless you are this girl. If you are, please call anytime
between 6:00 pm and 11:00 pm.
Tuesday, 13. January 2009, 00:24:38
The Republic of Bullshit
I heard on the news that some people in New York City
didn't wear any pants on the subway January 11th to
help some charity or other.
That's odd, I didn't think that people in NYC wore any
pants on the subway anyway.
Monday, 12. January 2009, 13:30:24
The Republic of Bullshit
Last year the Kokanee beer company, which hails from
just north of here up in Creston, British Columbia,
came up with some sort of half-ass contest where they
dressed actors up like Big Foot -- one name for the
legendary Sasquatch -- and sent them around to different
places. I'm not sure what the rules of the contest were,
but evidently if you spotted the Sasquatch you would call
in to Kokanee or whatever and win some sort of prize
-- almost certainly a bunch of beer but I'm not sure
about that.
Like I said, that was last year. Since then I've heard
nothing much about it. Even here, the supposed local
range of the supposed Sasquatch, even here I didn't hear
much about the contest after the initial announcement.
Which is probably a good thing. Like I said, the Pacific
Northwest is the legendary home of Big Foot. It's also
home to a lot of hunters with rifles.
Well, you take some very strange looking Sasquatch
running around an area with one hell of a lot of
guys with rifles, and I probably don't have to tell
you what trouble that might produce.
So far though I haven't heard of any actors dressed
as Big Foot being shot through the chest with 30-06
full jacket rifle rounds.
I think the contest is over now.
Showing posts 33 -
40 of 215.
WIDGETIZE