Friday, September 5, 2008 3:04:38 AM
Ever get pissed?
Like people think you should have no opinions of your own? They look down on you because they think they are smarter or just better than you ? Yeah I get pretty sick of that. I am not saying that I am somehow MORE RIGHT than anyone because I am pissed . It's just a fact. No spiritual insight here( I have none and I am trying to get rid of my opinions too ) Just stating a fact that I feel like I am just always automatically wrong in some peoples eyes. I guess that's my problem and I shouldn't complain. But hey, at least I'm not hurting any one and I haven't named anyone. I think that's something, right? What ever.
Thursday, January 31, 2008 3:38:09 AM
Well, it sure has been a while since I posted on here, I guess I am just busy or tired or not feeling very creative lately. Not that many people were reading it but hey, who cares?
I didn't start this blog to impress any one any way , just to vent some stuff & feel like I was telling someone.
I am really tired and I feel kind of emotionally exhausted. I guess that is the life of a restaurant manager. I have been reading about how I shouldn't let what I do define who I am, just came to mind after typing that thought. It's not that bad , I just work a lot . Even after the last two days off I still feel really tired, Maybe I am getting burnt out.
Today after much trouble I got my wireless card on this old beast to work again, maybe it's the obsession with computers that wears me out I really am not sure. I could spend less time on them I guess.
Sunday, December 16, 2007 9:11:36 PM
I SAW THIS ON ONE OF MY FAVORITE BLOGS TODAY . HOPE YOU CAN APPRECIATE IT & ENJOY. PEACE
Sunday, December 9, 2007 3:52:16 AM
I feel it pulling me , compelling me . I see darkness and I see light I wrestle with both compulsion and revulsion, disgust and hope.
I'm not sure where I stand.
I feel lost, but I feel like I can't be lost.
The need of immense love to fill the unfathomable depth of the sorrow.
The theme of this planet seems to be a slow funeral dirge that stabs humanity in our collective soul, bleeding , feeling faint, we are all like ashen statues empty lifeless shells of people with purpose, people who loved , people who hated now it is nothing. Abyss. The darkness is growing , this place is cold, the love is dying .
What will we do ?
What will I do?
Could I fly? Could we? Are we just men and women, fleeting ,temporary?
Is this it? Where is this kingdom we seek & why does it elude us?
Are we blind? Deaf? Dumb? What the hell is the problem exactly?
as introverted and selfish as I am,
is this heaviness pulling me down so?
Sunday, November 4, 2007 5:46:41 AM
i'M NOT SLEEPING THAT MUCH LATELY. i HOPE THAT i CAN STOP THIS PRETTY SOON . i REALLY NEED MORE SLEEP THAN i AM GETTING .
Sunday, October 21, 2007 1:38:00 AM
I finally finished the David Crowder today ( tonight more specifically ) really I think any one who is reading this should read it. Very funny and while it is confusing at times , it pulls together at the end , also it is written with short attention spans in mind. I have never read a book that was written any thing close to the way this one is. The Title is "Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven , But Nobody Wants To Die " . I suggest you pick up a copy , I doubt you will regret it .
Thursday, October 11, 2007 4:24:28 AM
I am not a huge reader. I really only read a couple of books a year and they have to interest me greatly for me to finish them.
Well I recently read a book that was written by one of my favorite musicians David Crowder . That book is called "Praise Habit , finding God in sunsets & sushi ". It was really good and I got some good insight from it. It focuses on making praise a habit rather than something we do at church . The theme is pretty much that God is ever present in the mundane every day things we do and His desire is that we praise Him in those things realizing that God is the center of everything, everything we are everything we see everything we do. Anyway I really like David Crowder and I think he is very genuine (especially for such a public figure) in a world where even the religious leaders or others we would refer to as "Spiritual" seem to be selling something just like the rest of the free market we call society.
So I go to work , where I am a manager of the restaurant variety, and start telling the only other openly christian person I know there about this book and how funny it is & the unique perspective that he puts on things . She tells me that her son has been reading a book by the same guy! (Whoda thunk it?!) Then she asks me if I would consider a swap ( of the temporary variety ) and I was like ,"yeah of course".
So now I am reading ( and almost done with ) "EveryBody Wants To Go To Heaven, but Nobody Wants To Die,or (The eschatology of bluegrass) " .
This Book is really amazing , I find myself laughing out loud then a few minutes later almost in tears. It's a strange layout for a literary work , but it works so far And I am almost done with it. I told my wife tonight that I will be sad when it's done. But maybe that is part of the reason for the book in the first place.
I am thinking more about the permanence of death and maybe how it might not be , but who really knows?
I mean I don't know any one that has died that I can ask about it. It seems to me that, while we are living we keep ourselves kind of separated from it and don't admit it is there. Until ,we are faced with someone else's or our own mortality, then we can't deny it any longer.
we say," tomorrow" but what if tomorrow never comes?