Queen Messy's Blog

Eggplant. The dark purple nice looking thing, also called an aubergine. Inside it is yellowing and gooey and YUCK. If you needed to USE an eggplant, these are some of the things one could do.

Draw it. Excellent practice for making curved lines and keeping the proportions just right. A challenge if there ever was one in making it look smooth, dark AND clean at the same time.

Paint it.It's beautiful purple color is so nice, it's got font colors all over named after it.Okay, this one was purple. But a lot of graphic designer like eggplant better. An astonishing still life...

Take it to concerts. That way one could throw it at the rotten singers if there are any.

Dry if out and then carve it to make beautiful sculptures with a hard-sponge-like material.

Give it to the hungry people in [insert poor African country here], who don't care if it's eggplant. they need water too, and it's got loads of that in it.

Make BIO-diesel out of it. We need to get around, and why waste yummy sunflower seeds and raps-salad leaves doing that.

Cut in in two and put it on the floor purple side up, to make people you don't like slip on it.

Pick it while it's still relatively little and make cute little eggplant-animals with toothpick legs out of it.

Send it on the next voyager with a plaque saying " This is our food. Have a taste. This is what all our food tastes like" to make sure no aliens are gonna invade earth if they run our of food on their planet.

Don't pick it and let it nourish the ground for future crops.

Do us all (most of all me) a favour and stop growing it altogether.

But WHY???

WHY???

WHY???

Do you put it in my FOOD???

Especially when it's always at the bottom of the huge pan, being gooey as it's a master of doing that, right underneath the best mixture of meat and tomato and cheese you could imagine... I just don't get the point of eggplants.