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The Stripy Strudel's Journal

September 2008

( Monthly archive )

All Absentees Assume Formation

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In a boring lecture, only three students are in the classroom. While the professor turns to the blackboard to write a long formula, five students slip away. The professor turns to the class and says disappointedly: “If two latecomers walk in, there'll be nobody left!”

This joke was funny the first time I heard it. But why is it funny, indeed? Common sense tells us that it's impossible that there are −2 students in a room. But the professor was somehow not surprised; to him −2 easily adds up with two latecomers and yields “nobody”. The problem is that we have no idea what negative two students look like and what properties they have, but it's natural for us to assume that they annihilate with positive two students.

Where does our “common sense” regarding to quantities come from? Natural numbers have properties (such as the possibility to increase any natural number by one) defined by a set of axioms, but why are these axioms exactly what they are? Natural numbers are called natural for the very reason that human invented, or, to be precise, apprehended them directly from the properties of the environment. One doesn't have to know math even at elementary school level to perceive empirically certain properties of natural numbers, for example, that 2 > 1.

For a long time, negative numbers were thought to not exist (and even zero took time to come into use), but as soon as at the dawn of Common era, such an extension to the set of numbers was first mentioned. It's not that somebody actually saw −2 students, but in bookkeeping of debts negative amounts of money or goods turned out to be quite conceivable. But if negative two swords, oxen or even slaves are possible, negative two students shouldn't seem something incomprehensible either.

The setting in the joke still seems absurd because nobody has ever witnessed a pair of positive one and negative one students being produced from nothing. But the very existence of a negative one student, or, to put it that way, lack of a student, is not absurd. One can even imagine that whole galaxies exist with negative quantities of stars, planets, universities and students. They probably call their half of the numeber axes “positive” and theorize about our existence, or, to be precise, the lack of us. (This is not the same as antimatter, despite some similarity. Antimatter exists in positive quantities, but this is rather about negative amounts of matter.)

By the way, while we're telling existential jokes, physicists shamelessly use negative quantities of electrons. A lack of electron, or −1 electron, is called an electron hole and used in analysis of semiconductors on par with an electron. Unfortunately, the number of studies of this kind in other areas of physics is negative with a large absolute value.

See also: Is logic empirical?

По-русски: Всех отсутствующих построить в одну шеренгу

Thoughtful Fantasizing Club

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In an imaginary, ideal and pitch abstract world live people who don't give a damn about being trapped in our thought experiment: they're people, too, and try to get their human fun from life. Just like us, they meet, make friends, mix and give each other simple pleasures. And just like in our world, they have social obstacles, having grown up in somewhat different cultures and then gotten mixed together. That's why what's natural for some is unthinkable for others.

For example, some people love massage of the head so much that they're willing to spend hours scratching, stroking and massaging each other's heads — if they find someone like them. But here's the catch: for some others touching the scalp is a taboo that can't even be mentioned. Because nobody knows whether it's disgusting or delightful for someone, you can't really offer this to a person: what if they get offended? So two head massage lovers don't dare to offer it to each other because each one of them is afraid that it's unacceptable for the other. Same thing with nose-rubbing, round dances, riding horses together, pat-a-cake and numerous other ways in which our speculative poor things bring enjoyment to each other.

Here is the problem the society is facing: invent a way for fans of various pleasure to recognize each other. It seems trivial: why not introduce conventional signs? For example, a red T-shirt could mean a round dance devotee. But it's not that easy: a round dance lover wouldn't like those for whom round dances are a taboo to know about their devotion. Hey, there are places where they won't let you in if you wear that! Therefore, a signaling system has to be more selective.

Let us call the whole range of ways to please each other acceptable for a person their easiness, as in “he's an easy (uncomplicated) person”, “she's easy to be with”. An easiness is a mathematical set. Let us designate the easiness of a person X as EX. Then the requirement to a signaling system should be stated as follows: for every person Y, conventional signs worn by Y should suffice for X to derive EXEY. Consequently, for each of his devotions X will only find out whether it's shared by Y, but he won't find out about those of Y's passions that X himself dislikes. He'll find out what he can what he shouldn't try with Y, but won't know anything shocking or destructive to their friendship.

A solution to this problem can be a variety of signs with limited knowledge of them. For every questionable pastime A enthusiasts establish a club, society or some other kind of community for A-doers. To become a member, one needs to do A with any current member. For lovers of A it's not a problem but rather a pleasure, but those for whom A is unacceptable won't even think about joining the community. Of course, the lists of community members are kept in secret. Because the world is ideal, everyone knows about every such community, and can and will join all the relevant ones. In a closed meeting, members of the A-doers society decide on a sign by which fans of A will recognize each other. It can be anything: an item of clothing, an accessory, a feature of speech or gait, a code word or gesture. Different communities pick essentially different signs, so that it's impossible to tell by the look of how many communities a person is a member. This way, everybody only knows the signs of belonging to those communities one is oneself a member of, and when X and Y meet, they instantly see what their common easiness, the intersection of EX and EY, is, and within that intersection they feel at ease with each other.

The problem and the solution have been found in brainstorming together with Wheezle, for which I'm thankful to her. This way, we have determined by experiment that joint brainstorming is included in our common easiness. And if you, my dear readers, also love head massage — welcome to the club!

По-русски: Общество любителей фантазировать с умным видом