Going mobile
Friday, 13. June 2008, 11:57:18
When the series Grumpy Old Men first came on telly, I would often catch Mrs. Fiendish slyly glancing at me as we both listened to popular has-beens on the show moaning about modern life. When I finally asked her why she kept giving me funny looks she explained that 99% of all the complaints she had heard on the programme she had previously heard coming out of my mouth. So, it won't surprise you to learn that I am not a big fan of mobile phones.
I do own one, of course. It's a black one, with a screen and some buttons on it. Mrs. Fiendish insisted I have one so she gave me one of her cast-offs. She also insists I turn it on when I am out of the house, something which I am happy to do as I usually can't hear it ringing anyway and besides which, without it, my kids might - shock horror! - have to be at a prearranged place at a precise time when I drive to Enfield to pick them up of a Friday or Saturday evening.
Clearly I use the phone less than most people but I had no idea just what a low usage customer I am until I read this piece of investment analysis on Vodafone from someone at JP Morgan.
A low-end contract sub needs to cut usage c.40% to save money by switching to prepay. A VOD UK user on the entry level contract tariff (average £18.33/month for 18 months) can make 100 mins of outgoing calls and send 100 SMS. Switch to Anynet prepay and he needs to trim usage by >39% (assuming an even split of peak and off-peak calls) to cut his monthly spend.
Good grief! £18.33 per month? A £20 pre-pay card lasts me about three months. Were I a typical user then we could turn the analyst's analysis around and say Vodafone needs to cut its cheapest tariff by 66% in order to remain competitive with pre-pay.
I suppose on the same basis my sister, who travels into London from the wilds of Essex at most twice a year ought to get herself a £3,000 annual season ticket and Posh Spice should always dine at places that offer all you can eat buffets at a fixed price.
If customers are getting 100 mins of free calls a month and 100 free text messages, no wonder London pavements are chock full of idiots interfacing with their mobile phones rather than looking where they are going.
Then again, I am sure Arthur Smith said much the same thing once on an edition of Grumpy Old Men
I do own one, of course. It's a black one, with a screen and some buttons on it. Mrs. Fiendish insisted I have one so she gave me one of her cast-offs. She also insists I turn it on when I am out of the house, something which I am happy to do as I usually can't hear it ringing anyway and besides which, without it, my kids might - shock horror! - have to be at a prearranged place at a precise time when I drive to Enfield to pick them up of a Friday or Saturday evening.
Clearly I use the phone less than most people but I had no idea just what a low usage customer I am until I read this piece of investment analysis on Vodafone from someone at JP Morgan.
A low-end contract sub needs to cut usage c.40% to save money by switching to prepay. A VOD UK user on the entry level contract tariff (average £18.33/month for 18 months) can make 100 mins of outgoing calls and send 100 SMS. Switch to Anynet prepay and he needs to trim usage by >39% (assuming an even split of peak and off-peak calls) to cut his monthly spend.
Good grief! £18.33 per month? A £20 pre-pay card lasts me about three months. Were I a typical user then we could turn the analyst's analysis around and say Vodafone needs to cut its cheapest tariff by 66% in order to remain competitive with pre-pay.
I suppose on the same basis my sister, who travels into London from the wilds of Essex at most twice a year ought to get herself a £3,000 annual season ticket and Posh Spice should always dine at places that offer all you can eat buffets at a fixed price.
If customers are getting 100 mins of free calls a month and 100 free text messages, no wonder London pavements are chock full of idiots interfacing with their mobile phones rather than looking where they are going.
Then again, I am sure Arthur Smith said much the same thing once on an edition of Grumpy Old Men
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By CaptainPenguin, # 14. June 2008, 18:14:03