Fiendish Games

Thoughts of a sometime board games designer

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MidConstantinople

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So what else was memorable about MidCon?

I managed to squeeze in a game of 1830 with many of the people I used to play regularly with back in the last millennium. For a while, when our gaming group included a fellow called Chris Tringham, it was the only game we played (apart from 1835) as it was the only one Chris never vetoed.

Unfortunately the game started a bit later than I would have liked and I knew that at some point I would have to leave the game to oversee the second spell of the Bring & Buy, so I deliberately pursued a policy of not running a company. This was a particularly unwise strategy as I got the most "trade-inable" expensive private company in the private auction and best play requires that one should float a company and buy this sucker in at twice face value ASAP.

As it turned out, my plan to avoid running a company fell apart when Oakes dumped the New York, New Haven & Hartford (NYNH) railroad on me. As dumps go, it was a benign one, as he left me with a pile of cash and a viable train, but I did not have time to ransack the company's treasury.

Not surprisingly, I came a resounding last and would have been laster still according to my fellow gamers had I not disappeared to run the game stall for an hour, leaving somebody competent to run the company in my absence.

After the 1830 finished it was off four our traditional Saturday night meal at San Carlo's, a lively - and then some - Italian restaurant in the centre of Birmingham. The food was as good as ever, though doubtless I am getting old and grumpy as increasingly I am finding the boisterous atmosphere a hindrance to my enjoyment, thanks to an inability to hear the coversation of everyone in the party.

I was also somewhat shocked to find the bill came to £25 a head even after Oakes's extravagant wine order had been removed. In general, the starters at this place are just over a fiver and the mains just over a tenner, but once they pile on the extras for vegetables, mineral water and what have you, the price mounts up.

I am afraid my expression of surprise at the size of the bill actually came out as a whinge about having to pay considerably more than my food cost. My order came to about £16, but then I did not have a dessert. So, we ended up talking at cross purposes with me asking how the total bill same to so much and the others asking me how much I thought I ought to pay. Ho, hum.

As it happened, the meal had totally skinted me so I hit a cashpoint on the way back to the hotel. The damn thing promptly swallowed my card - the second time this has happened in a month. I knew the banks and building societies were running short of liquid funds but withdrawing cash cards is a bit steep, isn't it?

We got back too late for the famous [B]Mid[/B]Con quiz, which was a shame, because quizmaster Dan Lester is always entertaining.

There was talk of a late night poker session but it never came to pass and I dipped out early so as to get my snoring up to ear shattering volume by the time my room-mate came in.

Aside from the 1830 game, the day was a bit of a disappointment. Board gaming is a sociable activity and I don't feel, what with my committee commitments, that I had a chance to socialise as much as I would have liked with Birks, Challinger et al; people that I see all too infrequently.

OK, the next report should wrap up MidCon after which we can move on to more exciting stuff like the increasingly annoying habit of starting paragraphs with the word But

MidContankerous

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Day two in the MidCon household and no one has been ejected, though there was a splendid row in the lobby area on the Friday night between two con attendees. I would have termed it a “stand-up row” but one of the participants was wheelchair bound.

I say “participant” but he was mainly just sitting there getting a screeching earful from his disaffected partner. Apparently this pair were later to be seen acting all lovey-dovey. So it goes.

With all of 6 hours sleep under my belt – a luxury for me these days now I am working weird shifts – I made my way down to the restaurant for the buffet breakfast.

Before the con there had been a lot of huffing and puffing about when breakfast stopped being served. The Con handbook said 10:30am, the hotel literature 10:00am. When I got down there at 9:55am to find just beans and potato croquettes left I was not best pleased, and resigned myself to beans on toast.

Luckily I had just come at an inopportune moment, and before long the kitchen staff were bringing out enough fat-drenched food to have sated the appetite of Mr. Creosote. While the food is not cordon bleu, if you catch it before it has spent too long under the halogen lamps it is tasty enough, and better than the ManorCon fodder by about a factor of three. The pork and leek sausages were particularly fine this year, though the scrambled egg looked like polyfilla.

The trick at the con is to stuff your face with as much brekkie as you can bear to eat to tide you over until tea time, and I did my best, before staggering off into town to post a book and buy some Post-It notes for use in the Bring & Buy sale which I was running. Somewhere at home I have about 20 Post-It pads liberated from my previous place of employment but could I find them before leaving for MidCon[/FONT]? Could I buggery!

I returned to the con at about 11:00am, an hour or so before the Bring & Buy was due to open. People kept approaching me asking when they could check in the games they wished to sale, even though I had clearly said on the posters and the handbook that checking in would start at noon. Of course, I had also instructed people to see me for further details about the Bring & Buy so it was my own stupid fault for not being clearer.

Ordinarily I would have opened for business at noon as advertised but Chris Dawe had brought along 60 games for the stall so I wanted to get an early start on cataloguing them on the PC and assigning ID codes on the special MidCon[/FONT] Post-It notes (i.e. ordinary Post-It notes with the word “MidCon[/FONT]” stamped on them).

Before that, we had to get the hotel staff to rustle up some tables upon which to place the games. Here the success of the con backfired a bit, as there was precious little space in the Wroxton Suite for the games stall. Next year we will have to look at hiring a separate room and maybe making a nominal fee to put games up for sale.

We were still finishing off Chris’s games list when the official opening time of the sellers check-in arrived, and of course everyone arrived at once to form an orderly queue, each of them holding a precariously pile of games in their arms.

Memo to self: next year set three different check-in times to be determined by the first letters of the sellers’ surnames. With my volunteer assistant still completing the final stages of what must have been the longest game ever played of the normally fast and fluffy “Guillotine” I had to do the data input on the laptop and monitor the Post-It note process. Like most men I can’t fart and yodel at the same time, never mind do something tricky that requires brainpower, so I was not a model of efficiency.

Actually, farting and yodelling is probably quite difficult to do. You probably need to get the two in sync.

Finally, about 5 minutes late, I got the stall open thanks to Nick Kinzett riding to the rescue. A satisfyingly large rugby scrum of people gathered around the stall for about 3 minutes until they disappeared rapidly in the manner of home supporters whose team are 3 down with 10 minutes of the match still to play.

That left me with about 25 minutes of thumb twiddling to do, plus the occasional processing of game sales.

I haven’t got the stats to hand but my gut feeling is that despite having more games on sale this year, sales were probably down a bit, which is probably down to lack of space rather than lack of money in the hobby.

Nevertheless, there were numerous happy punters and sellers, with some things unexpectedly selling, such as role-playing game supplements (“not really much call for that sort of thing any more, mate”), while others confirmed my judgement that they were as likely to sell as a stick of Pepperami at a Jewish vegan’s bah mitzvah (collectible card games: Legend of the Five Rings).

With round one of the Bring & Buy completed and a huge pile of dosh in small change weighing me down I returned to my room to hide the money and returned downstairs to see about that game of 1830 we’d tentatively arranged for Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, virtually all of the people I was scheduled to play with were ensconced in a game of Funkenschlag.

Cue more thumb twiddling.

This was getting a bit irritating. It was mid-afternoon on the second day of the con and I had only played one game, while half asleep and pissed.

Welcome to the world of being on the committee. Compared to the longer standing members of the committee, who were manning the desk, I was getting off lightly, but not really making much use of my free time.

At some point I got a worrying update on the real ale. We were worried that we were going to run out absurdly early in a sort of “out of beer by 6pm on the first day ManorCon sort of way” but, as correctly predicted by David Norman (who sits on both the ManorCon and MidCon[/FONT] committees), the attendees at MidCon[/FONT] are not in the same beer swilling league as the ManorCon regulars, and we were, in fact, looking at having maybe half a barrel left over for which the con would have to stump up the money.

This was a major disappointment as we had gone to a lot of effort to get the real ale on board and to have the con lose a pile of money because MidCon[/FONT] attendees are a bunch of poofy shandy drinkers was most galling. So, we who had made such a fuss about getting a supply of ale in girded our loins and redoubled our efforts to drink ourselves into oblivion.

This task was made a lot easier by Oakes having buttered up one of the barmaids; not literally, you understand, though God knows there was probably enough surplus grease on the breakfast bacon to have accomplished the task, albeit with a surrogate for butter. Look, I never said it was a good analogy,

Anyway, I did say Oakes – the man who could start a blazing row in a Trappist monastery – had got on the sweet side of the barmaid by offering her advice on how to deal with her employers, who were expecting her to do 12 hours shifts without overtime payments, and who were also expecting her to defer taking her holiday entitlement so they would not be short handed over Christmas,

Oakes doesn’t know the meaning of the word conciliation, and his advice to her was pretty much straight out of the Vic Feather/Joe Gormley handbook of industrial relations.

Having duly listened sympathetically to her plight she returned the compliment by slipping us the odd free beer for the rest of the week-end. Well, one way or another we were going to end up paying for it.

I am somewhat perplexed why anyone would want to work in a hotel. It’s a bit like working in a hospital but without the public approbation. Still, you do get easy access to a Corby trouser press any time you need one.

More on MidCon[/FONT] to come. Bet you can't wait.

MidContinent

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So, about MidCon, which I should explain for the benefit of any non-gamer who has stumbled upon this blog is a week-end long board games convention in a hotel in the centre of Birmingham. That’s Birmingham in the Midlands, not Alabama.

Every year the highlight of the con is finding new ways to get lost on the way to a venue we have visited for 25 years or more. This year we did not do very well, taking an almost direct route with barely a wrong turn.

We arrived at tea-time to be greeted by the sight of a pile of MidCon T-shirts. I am now a member of the MidCon committee and it was my idea to have some T-shirts available for purchase for the purposes of making a small profit but, more importantly, for promotional purposes. It’s important to realise that the average board gamers keeps a T-shirt for 17.3 years so the promotional aspect should not be underestimated.

In general, the T-shirts are kept long enough for the black shirts to become a sort of washed out dirty grey and for the white shirts to become a sort of washed out dirty grey. We, thoughtfully, chose “washed out dirty grey” as one of the available colours to give the shirts that worn in, faded look. The other colours were olive, cardinal red and navy blue.

We ordered 29 of these and sold about half of them, I think, so we are currently sitting on a loss but we cunningly did not time stamp the shirts so we should be able to sell a few more in 17.3 years time.

Next year is MidCon XXX and we are already working on some interesting slogans to splash across celebratory T-shirts.

Ordinarily the first port of call is the bar where it is the custom to hang out with the people you (mostly) only ever see at games conventions. There weren’t any real surprise appearances this year – no Stephen Fry, for instance, no Lily Allen or Amy Winehouse who would ordinarily turn up for the opening of a crisp packet.

I briefly chatted to Pete Birks and Peter Berlin before making my way up to the room to prepare for the Pop Quiz (see previous blog). I stayed just long enough to confirm that the evening meal would be held at a local rustic French restaurant called Chez Jules; another victory in my quest to wean the gaming hobby off stodgy high cholesterol Indian food.

The aforementioned rustic French restaurant was in the far from rustic – more “rusty”, really – centre of Birmingham. There were about 10 of us, sat on a rustic bench, reading the rustic menu, while wine snob Oakes got to grips with the wine menu. I swear he ordered “an Aussie shithouse” but then I seem to have developed a rare condition called Tourette’s Hearing whereby I mishear everyday phrases as vaguely obscene utterances. I cunt account for why this should be so.

For starters I had wood pigeon on the basis that the only good pigeon is a dead pigeon. Rats with wings, I like to call them, though to be fair, it’s only the town dwelling pigeon I hate; the wood pigeon is a thoroughly harmless fellow but unfortunately he tastes a lot better than rattus pigeonus.

I can’t even remember what my main course was but I do remember it came late, for which I, as the only non-wine drinker at the table apart from teetotal Birks, was given a complementary glass of wine. I promptly passed this on to Oakes whose appetite for wine had not been sated by the consumption of a full bottle of the Aussie shithouse.

By the time I had finished my main course it was 9:30pm and the pop quiz was due to start in half an hour’s time. What I should have done was get up and leave at that point but I stayed to watch others stuff their faces with puddings.

French cuisine made a pleasant change but it was not fare to rave about. A solid 5 out of 10 from me which might have gone higher had I ordered a dessert.

By the time we got back to the hotel it was already 10:30pm and people were asking when the Pop Quiz was due to start. None of these people subsequently participated in the quiz so I can only presume their primary concern was to get the hell out of the area in which I was running it.

In a hurry I rushed upstairs to my room to grab the bomb-shaped boom-box, pausing only to relieve myself in the bathroom. I was in such a rush I managed to piss all down the front of my light green trousers! Not a great development when I was due to stand up in front of people in 5 minutes or so. Through careful arrangement of my T-shirt I managed to disguise the stain. Later on I washed out my trews and made use of the hotel room’s Corby trouser press. I knew it would come in useful one day!

After the pop quiz it was time for the first board game of the week-end which was … which was … er … buggered if I know. I suspect we did not play one, given that two of my regular gaming partners had each consumed a bottle of wine, plus several pints of Brain’s bitter.

No, hang on! I remember now. I think we played Puerto Rico and I went for the corn production strategy, which did OK but which did not win me the game as I never really got the cash flow going well enough to afford a big violet building.

Put another way, Oakes and Beattie can still beat me at Puerto Rico even when they are smashed out of their heads.

And so, to bed, where my snoring apparently kept Oakes awake half the night. At least that way he had a fighting chance of avoiding the hangover he so richly deserved.

More on MidCon anon (and on)

MidConsequences

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MidCon[/URL] has long been a highlight of my year, even though in recent years it has been living on former glories. In fact, I liked the con so much, I joined the committee with fellow South London Mafia scion Paul Oakes with a brief to revive attendance at the con. I can certainly attest that cons are a lot less relaxing when you are on the committee.[/COLOR][/B]

For me, the stress started when I volunteered to do the pop quiz. Ordinarily the hard part of doing a pop quiz is recording and editing snippets of music for inclusion in the quiz, after which it is a five minute job burning the snippets to CD. Isn’t it?

I got the musical clips recorded and edited well ahead of time but for whatever reason I did not attempt to burn the songs to CD until about 90 minutes before my “chauffeur” Richard Beattie was due to pick me up. Therefore I was not best pleased when my burning software said it would take 2 hours to burn 25 minutes of music. Shurely shome mishtake?

Was it because I had saved the files as WAV files to make sure that my ghetto blaster could play the files? Dunno, but I tried converting the files to MP3 instead, but that took too long.

Richard arrived to find me still panicking. I got number one son’s laptop down and he burnt the tracks to CD. However, he copied the folder to the CD, and the ghetto blaster can’t play tracks that are inside a folder. Rather than ponce around burning tracks again, I copied the files to my MP3 player, and took along my ancient laptop as well in case I needed to use that as an emergency music player (i.e. by copying the files from the CD to the laptop’s hard drive).

So, I arrived at the con and set about sorting things out. First thing to do: put CD in laptop’s CD player and copy the files over to the laptop.

Ah.

This ancient laptop does not have a CD player. Well, it does, but it was an external one, sitting in my laptop case at home.

Not to worry. Plug the MP3 player into the ghetto blaster, play the tracks through that.

Ah.

MP3 player does not play WAV files. Does not even list them as being there. Perhaps they weren’t there?

Cue mild panic.

Not to worry. I could find out for sure by connecting my MP3 player by UBS lead to my laptop’s UBS port.

Ah.

Ancient laptop does not have UBS port. Well, it does, but it’s on a PCMCIA card, sitting (all together now) in my laptop bag back home.

Never mind. Let’s see if fellow committee member Jeremy Tullett can read the files on his Apple laptop. Jeremy sneered a bit about “WAV” being a Microsoft file format and therefore not fit to sully his wonderful Apple Mac, but he shoved the CD into his CD drive, only to find the disk was unreadable.

Not to worry (part 27), another committee member, David Norman, had a Windows laptop, with a CD player and UBS port, and we finally managed to transfer the files over to that, and connect it up to the ghetto blaster.

After all that effort, I might as well not have bothered as the pop quiz was not particularly well attended. There were about a dozen people; so few, in fact, that Oakes made a bravura gesture and volunteered to compete as a one man team. It was a gesture he was to regret when the “eighties to noughties” section contained a large selection of what I think he termed “rap music and boy-band shit”.

Birks, meanwhile, complained about the choice of music on the basis that I had not chosen anybody who had played at this year’s Reading festival.

I don’t think I will run a pop quiz at MidCon in future but if I do, I will be sure to write to Birks and Oakes and ask them what bands I should feature. I am sure if I do it far enough ahead of time they will forget which bands they nominated.


(More on MidCon to come)

Belated MidCon games convention review

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I suppose I had better write a bit about MidCon before I forget it all. As some of you may know, Paul Oakes and I have been engaged in some promotional efforts to restore this con to something approaching its former glory. I am happy to report that this year attendance was up from the mid-nineties, where it has been for the last six or seven years, to 124, so whilst Paul and I don’t want to claim all the credit, it is at least nice to be able to say to ourselves that our efforts were not in vain. As a reward we were invited to join the MidCon committee and we accepted this offer. That makes John Dodds, Chris Tringham, Paul Oakes and myself from the South London Mafia who have served on the MidCon committee now.

The extra people did make a difference. There was a bit more of a buzz about the place and the bar area was not the tumbleweed domain it has turned into in recent years, which meant that bar staff were more inclined to man the bar at all times instead of popping off somewhere to perform some other essential duty, such as polishing the bath-towels, or whatever it is hotels do to justify their room rates.

Crutchless panting
One of the people I managed to lure back to the con was Tony Wheatley who, regrettably, is now wheelchair bound. “Don’t worry, Tony,” said I. “They have a chair lift at the Angus now,” and this is indeed true, but it seems to have last been used when Thora Hird was still alive – although not by the doyenne of chair-lifts, I hasten to add. Thus Tony’s arrival sparked a 20 minute hunt for the key to start the chair-lift, during which time Tony staggered up the stairs on his crutches. On the positive side, Tony said the room he was assigned, which has been specially adapted for disabled people, was very good.

Now I am on the committee, I suppose I had better sort this out in advance next year.

This year there was an almost complete absence of Diplomacy and this was something I stressed in my promotional efforts. I am not sure whether people did still have the idea that MidCon is full of Diplomacy nerds – many of the people I gave flyers to had never even heard of the con – but I had a suspicion that the Diplomacy element might have put some people off, hence I stressed that the con is now more about getting the chance to play the new games released at Essen. In fact, aside from the MidCon quiz and the music quiz, MidCon is noticeable for an almost complete absence of tournaments. The committee is happy for people who want to run a tournament to volunteer to do so but are equally sanguine about the convention not having any. I think the absence of tournaments makes a nice contrast to ManorCon and BayCon, both of which feature a plethora of tournaments.

Quizlings
Having mentioned the quiz, I suppose I should observe that this was an enjoyable event organised in traditional shambolic style. Let me explain. Up until two years ago, I had set and compèred the MidCon quiz for several years but in 2004 I was remiss in informing the committee that I was available to run the quiz and so they got Dan Lester to devise one. I then turned up with 80 quiz questions whilst Dan turned up with his interesting assortment of questions, puzzles and mystery sound clips. In the end we did a joint-effort and then agreed that the following year he would do the MidCon quiz and I would do the music quiz. This year I volunteered to do the Bring & Buy stall and fobbed off music quiz duties to Paul Oakes, and assumed that Dan Lester would once again be running the MidCon quiz. Well, you know the old adage about ASSuME making an “ass of U and ME”, don’t you? Dan had not been asked to run the quiz and so it looked as if we would have no MidCon quiz, thus ending a tradition of some 25 years. However, Jon Gilbert stepped into the breach with “some questions I prepared earlier”. Luckily for us, Jon sets quizzes as a hobby and happened to have some question sheets with him. The questions seemed to hit the right level; I think that the difficulty level of quizzes should be such that all teams should be able to get at least 60% of the questions. I try to make the next 30% a bit tougher and the remaining 10% as real bastards to separate the men from the boys – which is particularly useful in the pædophilia round, I find.

Of course, I would say the quiz was good, because I was on the winning team with Peter Berlin and Richard Beattie. I must say my contribution was minimal. Peter’s job as a sports journo was particularly useful. It’s a tough job Peter’s got there, covering the Five Nations rugby, reporting on European football and all that, but at least it stands him in good stead on a quiz night, which I am sure makes it all worthwhile for him.

Modesty does not forbid me from mentioning that I was on the winning team in the Music Quiz too, though to be frank, I would have wanted shooting had we not won it, what with Paul Oakes setting the quiz. Over a period of 20 years Paul and I have conversed a lot about music and I know a lot about his music tastes, which are pretty similar to mine. Luckily Paul had a novel element to his quiz that forced each team to “void” one round. A team’s score in its voided round would not count except in the event of a tie-breaker. Almost every single team present voided the REM round, which I presume came as a shock to Paul, who must be under the impression that REM are an essential part of everyone’s record collection. Brian Walker once memorably described REM’s sound as “music for hairdressers” and whilst I like most of their stuff in moderation, I find Michael Stipe’s whining vocal style wearing after a short while.

Some other novel features of Paul’s quiz included allowing an unlimited number of team members, albeit with a rising points penalty scale the more players a team had, and a penalty for every team member with the surname Harrington. Flattery indeed.

I had a bit of a chastening experience in the quiz. The aforementioned Jon Gilbert, he of the emergency quiz questions, remarked at the end of the quiz that I certainly knew my music. It wasn’t until the following evening when Jon volunteered to run the MidCon general knowledge quiz that it dawned on me that as a person who sets quizzes, he is probably pretty good at pop music himself, but old big head here (me) had selfishly whacked the answers down in double quick time without giving anyone else a chance. It can’t be much fun being on a pop quiz team with a know it all, though I stress (and numerous ManorCon pop quiz competitions have proved it) that although I have a very deep knowledge of music trivia, it only covers certain eras and certain genres. Give me an alt-country round in a pop quiz and I’d not only be useless but I’d probably slip my headphones on and listen to my own MP3 player during the alt-country round rather than listen to some of the pre-menstrual caterwauling I heard from some girlie-singer fixated quizmaster at ManorCon a few years back.

Bring & Buy stall
At the beginning of the year the news emerged that ManorCon would not be having a Bring & Buy Games Sale this year, as Alan Parr and Mike Taylor had stepped down from running it after several years of sterling (silver-haired) service. In the event, ManorCon did have a Bring & Buy stall but by then I had already committed to running one at MidCon. This turned out to be a bit of a last minute effort, as the period immediately before the con was a busy time for me, what with the house move and various family crises. I managed to send the details of the Bring & Buy to Jeremy Tullet (MidCon committee chairman) on the very day he posted the last update before the con itself, but thanks to the wonders of the internet and e-mail, I managed to get the existence of the stand publicised well enough for there to be 70 or so games up for sale.

The stall was open for two sessions on the Saturday in the Wroxton suite. We took about £600 and amazingly all of this found its way to the satisfied sellers. I am indebted to the assistance of Keith Thomasson, Nick Kinzett and Richard Clyne, who helped with the book-keeping and table-laying. The Bring & Buy stall was non-profit making for MidCon (and non-loss making too) but it served its purpose in encouraging a few more attendees, most notably Alan Parr and Richard Bass (who I don’t think took too kindly to my commenting on his hopeless optimism in expecting anyone to pay money for Westminster). The two session format works fairly well, as it gives the sellers a chance to revise their sale prices for the second session.

There were some new games on sale and there was a concern that the official board games stall at the con (run by Jeff and Hazel Hawking) might be miffed at this, but the sellers of new stuff were very assiduous in ensuring that none of their games for sale were also being sold by the Hawkings.

Road planning in Birmingham: the shortest book in the world?
I can’t believe I have got this far into the con report without mentioning that Richard Beattie and I got lost on the way to the hotel. It’s normal for us to get lost on the way out of Brum but this time the route we normally take into Brum was closed and so we had to improvise. We ended up crawling through the centre twice before finally reaching the hotel. It doesn’t help that some of the landmarks have disappeared, now that the city centre has been redeveloped. Nevertheless, after 25 years of attending this con it is still a fantastic achievement of Birmingham’s road designers that they can make it so difficult for us to find our way to the hotel by car.

I-talian, U-talian, We-talian
Saturday night was spent, as is now traditional, in our favourite Italian restaurant in town. If memory serves, it is called San Marco. The food is good, especially for the price; the service is attentive and the ambience excellent. This year we were blessed with the presence of Julie Challinger, who seemed to be enjoying being in the company of a dozen or so middle-aged board-game nerds. You need to get out more, girl! Mind you, she is married to an accountant bigsmile

Apparently there was some poker this year, but I missed that. It’s not the same unless Geoff Brown is playing. There was no surprise appearance from Pete Birks but we did get unexpected visits from Martin Wallace and Malcolm Cornelius, both of whom turned up “on spec”. Malc has all but withdrawn from the gaming scene so his attendance was a real shock, but luckily he is still into drinking, eating and talking bollocks, so I suspect he had a good time. Next year, let’s see if we can lure Johnny Dodds, Birks and Malc Smith back, shall we?

The Jimmy Savile convention

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Jimmy Savile, famously, has a habit of saying everything twice (except for the phrase “Now then”, which he says thrice) ; MidCon was the games convention where I played everything twice. Well, almost everything.


Funkenschlag (Power Grid), Goa and Caylus: I played each twice, whilst Puerto Rico was played only once, largely because we didn’t have time to play it a second time. All are meaty games and that’s fine by me; I get ample opportunity in lunch-times at work to play short and sweet card games.

Of those mentioned above, Goa was new to me and Caylus virtually new to me.

Goa is a neat game that always seems to end a turn or two earlier than you want it to, which is a sure sign of a game offering that old “there are N things I’d like to do each turn, but I am only allowed to do N-1” dilemma. It’s built around a spice theme, with a bit of exploring, auctioning and development.

The exploring
This is very abstractly represented. A number of tiles are laid face up on an 8x8 grid, which, presumably, is meant to represent Goa (my lack of historical knowledge lets me down here). Each tile offers a special action or reward to the player who purchases it in the auction phase. The most common tile is the plantation tile, which yields a particular type of spice (garlic, pepper, cinnamon, chilli and … er … something else). At the beginning of the phase, the “starting player” is randomly assigned and given the “starting player flag”. The starting player’s first action is to place the flag on one edge of the unexplored part of Goa (i.e. one of the available tiles that is on the perimeter). This determines where the second player may place his counter; he may play it on any tile that is adjacent (orthogonally or diagonally) to the flag counter.

The next player now has to place his counter adjacent to the second player’s counter, then the fourth player and finally the start player do likewise (counters may only be played on empty tiles).

The auction
The tiles that have counters on them are now auctioned off in the order in which the counters were placed. So, the first point of order is always to auction the flag, which confers upon the owner the right to place the flag in the next round and, also, grants him an extra action in the development round. After the flag is auctioned, the other counters are auctioned in order.

Bidding is once round the table, and if you succeed in buying the tile that you yourself nominated, then you pay the bid amount to the bank (takes money out of the game), otherwise a winning bidder pays the bid amount to the person who nominated that tile (keeps money circulating in the game).

This is the major area of interaction in the game. In fact, it is virtually the only area of interaction, although there is often an opportunity for a nasty placement of counters in the exploration round.

Development
This is the action round. Each player generally has 3 actions, though there are opportunities to gain an extra action (e.g. through owning the flag). Broadly speaking, the choice is to perform action X (or Y or Z etc.) or improve the reward for doing action X the next time you perform it.

If memory serves, there are 5 types of action that may be performed or developed:

Ships – You need to have ships to develop an action to the next level (i.e. move your dobber to the next level on the action track). Using this power gives you a specific number of ship cards. Developing this power means that in future you will receive more ship cards when you next use the power.
Harvest – Produce spices on your plantation tiles. The tiles have to have empty “slots” on them (hence a “3 spice” tile is worth more than a “2 spice” tile, but is a “2 spice” tile worth more than a “1 spice plus 1 victory point at the end” tile?). Developing the power increases the production rate of spices for you on subsequent turns.
Gold – Collect income or improve your income generating ability.
Expedition – Take cards blind from the expedition deck and hope they give you the opportunity to do something useful. These are the “Chance” cards in the game; developing the power not only increases the number of expedition cards you may grab when activating this power, but also (usually) increases the number of expedition cards you may retain at the end of a round (i.e. increases hand limit). Expedition cards can often be played at no cost – i.e. they don’t take up an action.
Colonise – There are a number of special plantations that you may attempt to acquire. These have a fixed cost (the better ones cost more), and the required currency is “colonists”. So, you pick your plantation (let’s say it has a cost of 8), turn over 2 cards to generate a random number (each card has a range of numbers from 1 to 3), add to this your basic colonist rating (determined by how far down the colonist track you have developed) and then, if you still fall short of the required target (8, in this example) you may make up the difference in colonist cards.

There are bonuses, in the form of extra actions, to be had for developing all of your powers to the next level (e.g. get all your dobbers to level 2 on each development track and you get an extra action) but, equally, there are bonuses to be had for being the first player to reach the penultimate or ultimate stage of development in a given power (e.g. be the first player to reach level 4 of the colonist column and you receive an extra action).

I should also mention that developing powers gives victory points at the end of the game. These increase in triangular fashion (0,1,3,6,10) if memory serves. It is very hard to develop a power to the ultimate, not least because each progression to the next stage will require not only a ship card (as mentioned above) but also one, more or several (thank you, Angus Deayton) spices of varying denominations. Thus, 4 points might be there for the asking should you get your Gold power developed to the highest level, but you might be lacking one or more of the 4 spices required to hit that level.

This last example gives an insight to the sort of planning that the game rewards. It is a low key but intriguing game that keeps things simple enough to avoid being a brain-burner.

Winning the game
As mentioned above, players get points depending on how far they have developed each of their powers (ships, harvest, etc.) plus points may also be gained through ownership of special tiles and also by being the richest player.

Goa is clearly going to appeal to the Puerto Rico fan, and falls somewhere between that game and St. Petersburg in complexity and game length.

Caylus is a tricky game to describe. Let’s start with the board.

At the top of the board is the favours track. When players achieve certain goals, they receive favours from the king in the form of (a choice of) money, prestige, commodities, or an extra action.

Next up is the castle, which the King is having built. The King will reward players for helping build the castle. Prestige points (victory points) are given for contributing to the construction of the castle, and a favour is given to the player who contributes most in any given round.

The bulk of the board is taken up with a long and winding road, leading away from the castle. This road consists of spaces, some of which (mainly the first group of spaces) have neutral buildings on them; the empty spaces will have player-bought buildings placed upon them during the course of the game.

Each building grants the occupier of that building a special power (occupation is only temporary, so it might be easier to think of this occupier as a customer of the owner of the building). The buildings are the heart of the game. The powers do things like change turn order, yield money, yield commodities (which are needed to construct buildings or help with the castle), allow new buildings to be built further down the road on the next available empty space, and one or two other things beside.

On each turn, player have 6 agents (represented by cylindrical counters) that they may place to stake a claim to the use of a building on the current turn. Placement is in turn order, one agent at a time, so this is a game where your turn comes round quickly. Apart from in the castle and one or two other buildings, only one agent is allowed in each building.

Placing an agent counter costs 1 denier (cash) unless a player has passed (foregone the opportunity to place any more agents this turn), in which case the cost is 2 deniers. Every player who passes pushes up the cost of an agent placement by one, so once a second player has dropped out of play (pushing the cost of actions up to 3), the others tend to follow quickly.

Once the placement phase is over, players get to use the powers that their agents have staked a claim to. The turn proceeds in the order in which the buildings are laid out, starting with the building closes to the castle and working down towards the bottom of the board.

So, let’s examine a typical turn’s decision. This turn you want to build a building. The building you want to construct requires you to spend a purple commodity and a brown commodity cube. You already have a brown cube, so you need to find a purple cube. There is a building on space 9 that gives its occupier a purple cube. Only problem is, the carpenter building (the one that will allow you to build your building) is on space 7; if you place an agent on the carpenter on space 7, when it comes to activate space 7, you won’t have the purple cube you need, because that won’t fall into your lap until space 9 is activated, by which time your agent on the carpenter building will have naffed off back home.

However, let’s say there is another carpenter building on space 15. Only problem with this one is that space 15 is only one square away from the provost counter on space 16.

Did I not explain the provost counter? Let me do so now.

At the very beginning of the turn, the provost counter sits with the bailiff counter on the last building tile (space 16, in the above example). The provost is a bit of a busybody and he decides what can and can’t be done each turn. Any tile to the right of him at the beginning of the “power activation” phase will not come into play this turn, even if it has an agent on it.

During the power activation phase (which comes after the agent placement phase), players get the opportunity to move the provost. Firstly, if any player occupies the Provost building (can't remember the proper name of this), he gets the chance to shunt the provost in one direction by up to three spaces for free. Subsequently, all players (including the player who got the free shunt) get one opportunity to move the provost up to three spaces in either direction, at a cost of 1 denier per space. This shunting of the provost is done in player order – hence there is much scope for “I’ll shift him forward one if you do likewise” style negotiation between two or more players whose agents have been stranded beyond the “provost line”. Great fun.

Where the provost counter ends up also affects how quickly the bailiff moves to the “end of the game” space; if the provost ends up ahead of the bailiff, the bailiff moves forward two spaces, otherwise the bailiff moves only one. When the bailiff reaches the "end game" square, the game ends (big shock, huh?)

After all the buildings have been activated then there is a castle building bit, where arse-lickers get to score points for sucking up to the King.

Some things to note about the game.

Apart from the randomly determined player start order and the randomly distributed 6 starting tiles, there is no luck in this game. You can see what is possible at the beginning of the turn and attempt to achieve it, but other players have a nasty habit of grabbing the space you wanted to occupy, thus preventing your plan from coming to fruition.

As in Goa, there are numerous strategies you may pursue and it is easy to flip-flop between them. For instance, it is fairly common to spend a turn accumulating cash (to pay for agent placement), then a turn accumulating commodities (required for buildings), followed by a turn constructing buildings and/or building the castle.

Player interaction is not particularly direct, but it is there.

So, how do you win?
Oh, you know, the usual thing: get more victory points that the other players.

There are two main ways to get victory points. There is the aforementioned castle building and there is the construction of buildings. Constructing a building not only gives immediate victory points (the more prestigious the building, the more points it yields) but also, in a very clever touch, any time another player places an agent on your building, you immediately get 1 victory point (placing an agent on your own building only ever costs you 1 denier, no matter how high the current cost is for placing agents on neutral buildings).

I’ve only played the game three times, coming first once and last twice. Taking my advice, therefore, is like drinking from a poisoned chalice (should have chosen the vessel with the pestle), but I think a good strategy is to construct a useful building very early and then spend a period accumulating cash before working towards being able to build a monster prestige building at the end (these usually require gold as a component). The architect building is a good tile to use, as it enables you to build over an existing neutral tile; this is very useful in eliminating a rival supply of something one of your buildings is producing (e.g. if you have a tile that gives the occupier 2 pink cubes, then building over a tile that is the only other source of pink cubes is going to make your tile very popular).

Cash, gold and cubes are all worth victory points (VPs) at the end but with gold providing far more VPs than the others, there is the usual stampede for gold towards the end of the game.

In summary, I would describe Caylus as an intricate game, in which turn order is very important. The best laid plans of mice and men can easily go down the Swannee but it is not catastrophic, except in the final round. Although it is a thinker’s game, the range of options available each time your turn comes round is sufficiently limited to keep the game ticking over. Though I have doubts that this game will still be widely played in a year’s time, I expect it is going to be played a lot in the next few months,

Meanwhile, back at the con
But you don’t read con reports to find out about the games. You want to know who got lost getting there? How incompetent was the hotel? Who got drunk? Who turned up unexpectedly?

Who got lost getting there?
Not me, guv. I confounded Birks’s law (“Harrington will always be late for any inter-city train he attempts to catch” by catching a train that was an hour earlier than the one I was intending to catch. I left Old Street at about 1:05pm, in the expectation of getting to Marylebone an hour later, which would leave me 40 minutes to have a leisurely bite to eat and get a ticket before the 2:50 left for Birmingham Snow Hill. To my surprise, I made it to Marylebone at 1:40pm, ten minutes before the Birmingham train was due to leave. I was 6th in the queue for a ticket, with 3 windows open so, surely no problem in catching the train?

Naturally, I was behind three people who wanted to pre-book a ticket for a journey from a different station on a future date using a payment method not yet fully approved by Chiltern Railways, Watching the old boy at the middle window trying 17 different orientations of his credit card as he tried to work out the correct way to put it in the chip & pin machine was like having a glimpse into my own incompetent future. I finally got to the ticket window 2 minutes before the train was due to depart so, out of courtesy to the other punters behind me who were also trying to catch this train, I paid by cash rather than Amex.

“That’ll be £26 pounds, sir.”

“Here you are, here’s £25 ….” (fishes in pocket for remaining pound coin, realises he put all his pound coins in the school dinner money box that morning) … “hang on, I’ll have to give you another £20. Give me back that fiver.”

“What fiver, sir?”

“I just gave you a twenty pound note and a fiver?”

“Are you sure, sir?”

“Yes, I am. I was fishing in my pocket for an extra pound coin, realised I didn’t have it and ….”

“Excuse me sir, is this a 5 minute argument or the full half hour?”

I eventually got the correct change, legged it to the train, got on the “No mobile phones” compartment and had a peaceful journey to Snow Hill.

How incompetent was the hotel?
The hotel was better than last year, but still not great. There were no problems with my booking, once the oriental PC-literate booking clerk had sorted out the hotel’s booking system, which the other booking clerk had crashed through over-enthusiastic use of the Esc key.

It took me fully 15 minutes to work out how the shower worked. I was about to put in a call to Alan Turing and the rest of the Enigma team when luckily one of my random manipulations brought forth a gush of warm water.

The bar area at MidCon is virtually deserted these days, as the dwindling numbers at the con have removed the requirement for an overspill area. I am not sure whether the lack of warm bodies was responsible for the arctic temperatures in the bar area or whether the hotel was engaged on an economy drive, but it was bloody cold.

Beer prices were outrageous as ever - £3.20 for a pint of Murphy’s – but at least this year there was generally at least one barman there to serve us. This was generally sufficient, except at lunch times, when thirsty people had to wait an interminable length of time while the barman took food orders.

Our room had no remote control for the telly and the hotel took over a day to provide one to us, but as this came just in time for me to be able to watch highlights on Sunday morning of England’s victory over Argentina, I wasn’t fussed by this.

Saturday breakfast was fine, but on Sunday they ran out of beans and sausages fully half an hour before the breakfast period was scheduled to end. I suspect that the kitchen staff were concentrating instead, by that stage, on preparing for the lucrative Sunday lunch-time market.

Who got drunk?
Nobody, so far as I know. John Wilman didn’t turn up …devil

Friday night the South London Mafia went out for the obligatory curry in Ladypool Road. I must confess that I am close to being played out on the curry front. I find the cuisine stodgy, though the starters are mostly very good, and I can’t understand the hobby’s general preference for this cuisine in preference to Chinese.

Saturday night’s meal was at the relatively posh (for Birmingham) Italian restaurant, San Carlo’s. As Rob Thomasson put it, “I hope we get seated upstairs again where all the airbrushed semi-naked bimbos go.” Actually, I paraphrase Rob, but whether to preserve his blushes or to provoke them, I’ll not say.

San Carlo does good Italian food, has a fine wine list and is clearly a great “going out” place for Birmingham’s movers and shakers. The loudish music contributes much to the lively atmosphere but this year, stuck on the end of the table, I found myself unable to hear the conversation of anyone sitting more than two slots away from me. More signs of old age, I suppose.

Who turned up unexpectedly?
Andy Bate resurfaced on a scouting mission to see whether it would be suitable to turn up next year with his son in tow. If memory serves, his son is about 11 and like my youngest, has been battered into submission and agreed to become a board games nut.

It was great to see Andy again and fill him on all the hobby events he has missed, even though most of these involved deaths: the death of Sharp, Loveys and the postal gaming hobby itself.

Other than that, it was definitely a case of the hard core being the only ones in attendance. Many mainstays of the Diplomacy scene (Vick Hall, Mark Wightman) were nowhere to be seen, but it was nice to see Toby Harris, though I never got a chance to speak to him. Serial con attendees such as Mark Stretch, Mick Haytack, Len George and Paul Evans were among many notable absentees. It would appear that MidCon has fallen well behind ManorCon, BayCon and StabCon in terms of popularity, and is now to be ranked alongside the likes of RamsdenCon, MayCon, TowerCon, OxCon and MasterCon. Personally, I think this is a bit baffling. In terms of location (central), timing (a month after Essen) and suitability of gaming rooms (a zillion times better than ManorCon’s 12-yards-wide circular tables, for instance), it should be doing much better than it is. It’s not yet at the stage of unviability but some form of publicity campaign is required to return it to prominence.

TTFN,


JoHn
April 2008
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