Fiendish Games

Walking along a passage in the underground section of Old Street tube station recently I was jolted out of my early-morning lethargy by a poster advertising the new album by The Fratellis. The poster features three young woman longing around in their lingerie, selecting records to play on their record player. Yes, record player – the poster is done in the style of the fifties.

By the time the poster had registered on my sluggish consciousness I had already walked by it and it occurred to me to turn back to check the poster out, for two reasons:

1)I have never heard of the Fratellis
2)Pretty women in lingerie are usually worth stopping to look at.

The main reason I did not turn back and gawk at the poster is the fact that said pretty woman are painted creations, rather than real women. I don’t mind being caught by total strangers taking a little too long to pass the poster advertising the Betty Page movie, but stopping to lech over paintings seems just a little bit too pervy, somehow.

Yet, of course, prior to the photographic age, drawings, paintings and even wood-cuts must have been the only game in town for exponents of the solitary five-knuckle-shuffle. Even after the photographic age, the work of Alberto Vargas must have garnered a considerable amount of solitary study from the male community. Although it seems a bit strange to fantasise about women who don’t actually exist, it’s not really any stranger than fantasising over, say, Billie Piper, who might as well not exist for all the chances of the fantasiser’s fantasies about her coming true. Besides which, she’s a bit of an odd looking bird, isn’t she? Big set of choppers, bottle blonde, large features – but there’s something about her that’s appealing in a way that none of the super-models will ever match.

So, has anyone heard any stuff by the Fratellis?