My OperaCan I be happier???
Tuesday, June 7, 2005 8:12:08 AM
Well... I am still happy! That's not my problem - Now I am happy, I just want to be happier and have things my way.
Yesterday wasn't the best day... After my weekend with Jon - I guess I just wanted the affections to keep coming - I know he's at work and very busy at that, but it just really pissed me off when he didn't call on lunch or anything! It was 2.30 and nothing - I know that's lame but he ALWAYS called me in the morning or at lunch and at random times of the day. So I just wished for that back I guess. Anyway - He mailed me later on after returning MY call and said that he was going out for a piss up with his friend on Thursday - That didn't really impress me as we don't do that anymore! We used to have so much of a blast in eachothers company - Now it's just not the same! He gets moody - we only have a couple of drinks etc etc. I even sent him an email about not liking my company and that maybe I should revert to how I was when we worked together!
Last night I went home to my Mum and Dad's. I found my old mobile which isn't actually that old, but anyway. I put my chip in it and was looking through all the pics and the messages. It made me cry... Jon just doesn't send me stuff like that anymore - It gutted me more than anything. When I called him coz I was upset, he just said that there is no need for him to send those messages as we see eachother all the time! I guess he has got a point! I text him saying that maybe we should have a break - The in about half an hour retracted the whole thing and said, No actually I think we are doing great - I love my work, I love you and the sex is great! I only did that because the though of him not being there freaks me out way too much.
I hate being in love really - especially as he has all the control! I feel like I'm a puppet and he's the puppeteer - I feel like I am too desperate - All because I want to be with him forever. I know this needs to change - But right now I just love being with him and if I was honest, then we are great right now!
Anyway - Back at work so I had better do some!!!
Yesterday wasn't the best day... After my weekend with Jon - I guess I just wanted the affections to keep coming - I know he's at work and very busy at that, but it just really pissed me off when he didn't call on lunch or anything! It was 2.30 and nothing - I know that's lame but he ALWAYS called me in the morning or at lunch and at random times of the day. So I just wished for that back I guess. Anyway - He mailed me later on after returning MY call and said that he was going out for a piss up with his friend on Thursday - That didn't really impress me as we don't do that anymore! We used to have so much of a blast in eachothers company - Now it's just not the same! He gets moody - we only have a couple of drinks etc etc. I even sent him an email about not liking my company and that maybe I should revert to how I was when we worked together!
Last night I went home to my Mum and Dad's. I found my old mobile which isn't actually that old, but anyway. I put my chip in it and was looking through all the pics and the messages. It made me cry... Jon just doesn't send me stuff like that anymore - It gutted me more than anything. When I called him coz I was upset, he just said that there is no need for him to send those messages as we see eachother all the time! I guess he has got a point! I text him saying that maybe we should have a break - The in about half an hour retracted the whole thing and said, No actually I think we are doing great - I love my work, I love you and the sex is great! I only did that because the though of him not being there freaks me out way too much.
I hate being in love really - especially as he has all the control! I feel like I'm a puppet and he's the puppeteer - I feel like I am too desperate - All because I want to be with him forever. I know this needs to change - But right now I just love being with him and if I was honest, then we are great right now!
Anyway - Back at work so I had better do some!!!
