Fly_in_dance

The time in 2001, I was too thin, 37kg with a short hair, look like a ugly poor slim boy. I had to work hard to live my own. And travelling, at that time, was too luxury to me. But it could never stop me dreaming on. I had a cadenlar on my wall, that was a pic that showed Nha Trang beach, with a long beautiful beach with white sands, deep blue ocean and a big umbrella. And I thought of it everyday in my hard life, as a heaven that I could never come and enjoy.

One of my friends, who I called my Idol, knew about that my heaven. He set up a trip to Nha Trang and wanted to take me along with him. I asked him: Why, I am just your friend and I am a ugly stupid duckling. If you want something like sex or love or joking, you can invite another girl. But, he answered, you are my little duckling and I know that trip will make you smile. I want to cheer you up, once in your life.
I almost said nothing when I got his answer. I could not go with him that time, and I did not keep in touch with him for years after, but I always think of him whenever I feel down, coz I greatly appreciate the thing he wanted to give me: Cheer me up.

And Nha Trang with its beauty is always on my mind, as a heaven.

Then, I came to Nha Trang in Feb, 2003 with my ex ex. That trip is exactly what I keep dreaming for years. The weather is so great, we lie on the beach with no one else, hearing the waves and the wind whisper their love song. We ride a motobike along the beach, visit the islands, go boating. It was the first time I ate lobster. He carried me on his back and we ran along the beach, laugh and kiss each other. And the unforgetable moment is when he ask me to marry him on his knees. ofcourse the answer is Yes. Coz I loved him so much and that trip is never deleted out of my mind.

I never marry him. But I named those days Heaven. It's heaven, when you live in your happy world, when you are hugged by the one you really love arms, at a very beautiful beach. And you do not need to worry about your problem.
can I go back to the heaven the second time in my life?
In many years, my lover and friends try to bring me back to the heaven. I came back to Nha Trang many times and was very happy there. But it is not the heaven I got in the past. Why?

Some one always wants to fill in me. I had the first diamond ring from one of my friends when he knew one girl show her diamond ring to me, and she tried to make me recognize that I was poor and she was rich. I keep that ring for years, as I keep that heaven in my heart, coz I think of them whenever I feel upset. They always remind me that there are on the world someone who really love me, really want to give me the best thing, and want to see my smile.

I always think of Nha Trang as a real heaven. But, how can I come back the day I really feel happy inside? Or the heaven just come to us once in our life?

(some of my feeling now.)