Fruit Salad and Mixed Veg

Did you know, it has been 90 days since I left Australia?! Well, I did because if I didn't get my residence permit today, I'd be here ILLEGALLY!

I thought I'd need to show MY bank account, as well as the bank account of my parents, but nope. For some reason, the woman kept thinking that MY money in MY bank account, was money from my parents...No, you see, I worked hard for my money, unlike some people who scab everything from their parents...oh wait, that's what I do in Australia!


My residence permit...Yep, that's me


Could I be turning German....?

• I speak a mix of German and English here. I like to call it 'Germlish'
  

Some guy: Hey, I heard you are from Australia...
Me: Yep
Some guy: How long have you been here?
Me: I have been in Germany since 3 months....wait....That's bad English!!

I even use little tissues...like German people!

• I go to the BIO bakery to buy bread...and then to Aldi to buy cheap stuff...and then to other supermarkets to buy what wasn't in Aldi.
  
• I take my backpack shopping with me, so that I don't have to pay for a plastic bag
  
• I have used the community glass bins: one bin is for green glass, one is for brown glass and one if for white.
  
• I own sliced ham!
  
• I hang out and eat in the kitchen
  
• I now use salt on boiled egg
  

Why I am not turning German:

• I don't eat chocolate sprinkles on bread for breakfast...I do not mix chocolate sprinkles with nutella and put it on bread for breakfast...
  
• I don't think I know 17 ways of cooking potatoes...well, I could find out
  
• I don't sit outside and eat icecream when it is a 'warm' 12 degrees.
  
• People don't think I am German. They think I am from Holland, or France.
  
• I watched 'Dinner for One' on New Years Eve and didn't like it. It's NOT funny!
  
• I don't put enormous amounts of butter on everything. I don't even OWN butter!
  
• I think a one hour train trip is short
  
• I find it hard to open German doors with keys
  

It was my Dad’s birthday last Thursday and I made him 2 chocolate cakes to take to work, plus a banana cake to share with our family Baking cakes is fun!


We went to an Indian restaurant with my aunties, uncles, cousin (I only have 1 cousin) and grandparents. I ate before I went so I ordered nothing as usual and just drank water; I’m a cheap date. My cousin ordered some big fried thing stuffed with potatoes and took two bites and said she was full. Then I wondered if I was setting a bad example because I didn’t have anything to eat....?? Or, perhaps everyone else was setting a bad example, scoffing their faces...??

What my cousin ate...well, didn't eat.

My auntie knows the owners of the restaurant so their little boy sat at our table and he had some cake too. He had a book with him and my cousin read it to him.
Cousin-‘Then the kangaroo jumped over the fence...’
Me- ‘And do you know what noise a kangaroo makes?’
Boy- *looks at me*
Me- ‘It goes Moooooo!’

Then I pointed to the colour purple ‘What colour is that?.....It’s...Yellow!’ *12 yr old cousin shakes her head* hehehehe If I had children, can you imagine how screwed up they would be?!


Letzten Donnerstag haette mein Vatti Geburtstag. Ich habe 3 Kuchen gebacken: 2 Schokoladen (er hat die Kuchen mit Kollegen verteilt) und 1 Bananen (Fuer Familie) Backen macht Spass

Mit Familie haben wir in einem Indisches Restaurant gefiert. Ich habe zu Hause gegessen, also habe ich nichts bestellt. Meine Kusine hat etwas grosses bestellt und hat nur ein kleines bisschen gegessen. Ich will etwas schreiben, aber ich weiss nicht wie ich das auf Deutsch schreiben kann…

Die Besitzers sind Freunde von meiner Tante und ihr Sonn hat mit uns gesessen. Meine Kusine hat ein Buch mit ihm gelesen
Kusine- ‘Das Känguru hat ueber den Zaun gesprungen’
Ich- ‘Was fuer einen Laerm macht das Känguru?’
*der Jung sagt nichts*
Ich- ‘Mooooo!' (Was fuer einen Laerm macht eine Kueh auf Deutsch?)

Dann habe ich gesagt ‘Welche Farbe ist das? (es war Lila) Gelb!!!

Ok, imagine it's your birthday. You've invited friends around, your house is a mess, there's no food in the cupboards, you're broke. What do you do? Where can you get yourself a cheap cake?

A garden club!

'A garden club?!' you say. Yes, why not? There's free food, free drinks and very very bad entertainment. It's so bad that people get up and dance! There's no 'sprinkler', 'shopping trolley' or 'hedge trimmer' though, but the fox trot and waltz. Everyone will comment about how tall you are and you'll feel much taller becasue most people will be shorter than you. There will also be many people walking around very slowly, wearing flashing Christmas badges.

My dad, although under the age of 70, is in a gardening club. It makes him feel young again He was appointed the role of 'drink guy' for their Christmas party and I helped him out, you know, being a professional drink pourer and all



Woah, these balloons have gotten me in a celebratory mood!


Look at all this free food! I don't know why people don't gatecrash garden clubs! Not all of it was eaten. No one touched the chocolate mud cake...


Old ladies cook the best cupcakes and make awesome sandwiches


Mmmm Cholesterol City!


I found out that I'm a really good salesperson. We had some drink left over and I managed to get people to take it home. Someone even took a half empty bottle of coke home becasue I told them they could give it to their neighbours' kids!


In other news, I have won 2 double passes One to Hunting and Gathering with Audrey Tautou and another to 2 Days in Paris.

You even get grease on the cardboard. Aww how thoughtful! Can you see it? (It's not a very good photo...) Does anyone else find the name 'McNuggets' really funny, or it is just me?


Here's an interesting site, about what is actually in a McNugget. 56% corn apparently. They also contain a small amount of butylhydroquinone. 5 grams of this wonderful ketone can kill you. Nice.


I worked for 1 hour last night and then 4.25 hours this morning. I'm soooo close to mastering the art of beer pouring! Out of all the things my parents/school could have taught me, I was never taught how to pour a beer.

Some guy in Victoria is going to sue the Victorian education department for $300,000 becasue his son, 14 cannot read or write. As a result he cannot get an apprenticeship. How thick is the father?! As if he only discovered that his son cannot read and write LAST WEEK! The father could have sat down with his son and helped him! He was probably too busy watching TV. Does that mean I can take my high school to court becasue they taught me how to cook spaghetti bolognase in Home Economics but never taught me how to pour a beer?

One thing I noticed was that lots of the staff eat ice cubes. There weren't many people around last night/this morning so there wasn't a lot of drink-serving to be done. That meant we were wiping down the bar quite a lot. I think it's the cleanest it's ever been.

I caught a late bus home at 4.45am and on my way to the bus stop, saw 2 fights. One wasn't very violent and the other grabbed the attention of the police and an ambulance. I had my free bottle Smirnoff with me (we get a free drink when we finish) so I was fine. If someone tried to touch me, I would have smashed them in the head with the bottle What's the bet that if that did happen, I'd get a fine for injuring some freak show?


Now for a quick poem about my cousin, who recently got a lamb

Tori had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now she takes it with her to school
Between two lumps of bread